This book was brilliant- unlike anything I've ever read. At first I thought Martha's diagnosis was omitted as the book hadn't been fi ished. I assume now that it was almost a way of reminding us that those titles should not define us

Read this!! Was utterly captivated by the strong characters in this stand out. Cannot recommend this any more highly,.

Oh, this was a very sad, hard yet rewarding book to read. I had finished this a while back and thought it was time to post my review. Mental illness is always a topic that seems very hard to write about and for authors to capture its impact honestly, openly, whilst being true to the experience and the people it can affect. Meg Mason was able to achieve this in ‘Sorrow and Bliss’. This novel is about Martha, who knows there's something wrong with her, and her journey to discover what it is. This book contains a lot of deep, dark and raw moments as well as some very humorous moments; albeit dark, maudlin and even sarcastic humour. Although the emotional roller coasters in this book are very sad and at times very draining to read, there always seems to be this little glimmer of hope and brightness. This is so reassuring to read this for Martha, who could always sense this little flickering of light. She knew that her perseverance would bring her to a point to finally understand herself and feel OK about herself. I think that truly is a core theme of this book: for those living with a mental illness, feeling okay about their illness, about who they are, and about what that illness does to them is often a goal to strive for and achieve. This novel places the reader on that same rollercoaster to feel so very deeply about the complexities of Martha, and whether you want to feel comfortable on that ride. Thanks @netgalley for the e-ARC.

Wow wow wow wow absolutely loved this book. I've now gone back and read all of Meg Mason's works and have become a massive fan!

So many emotions. I wanted to strangle Martha and then hug her all in the one page. I felt frustrated with different characters and full of gratitude for others. It really did draw me in and be a part of Marthas mental health journey. The journey that neve ends but a journey that can see more and more blue sky every day.

Sorrow and Bliss is a raw and honest exploration into the suffering and struggles mental illness causes in one's life, in their relationships and for their families and partners.

Meet Martha.
She knows there is something very wrong with her, she’s just not sure what.

Her problem has affected her since she was seventeen when one day she curled up under her desk and refused to come out for days on end. All through her life she continues to have these episodes of varying lengths where she must hide away from the world as it all becomes too much for her.

Martha’s sister Ingrid is always there to support her, to guide her and to rescue her, until one day she’s not.

Martha’s husband Patrick has loved her since he was fourteen and is always there to reach into her darkness and pull her back to the surface. Until one day, he no longer is.

By the time Martha finds out what is wrong with her it doesn't really matter anymore. She must now make the journey to healing alone.

In this book we watch Martha live, we watch her cope, watch her fail, watch her love and watch her learn. This book is both sad and funny, it is Martha's sorrow and bliss.

This book was honestly amazing, I went into it knowing nothing and I came out the other end with a better understanding of life, of myself and of the impacts of my own mental illness on others.

Mason is a genius in her writing of characters. She is able to develop characters with such amazing complexities and give us such amazing insight into their psyches that the characters feel completely whole and real, their quirks come to life off the page and you feel as if they could be your own family, you understand them so well. Her portrayal of the un-perfectness of families, of familial bonds and the unwavering support of family was beautiful to read and really resonated throughout the novel especially the bond between Martha and Ingrid.

I felt an instant attachment to Martha, she was witty, overly straight speaking and I loved her dry humour. I felt her struggles with her mental illness so entirely with my whole heart as the things she describes during her darkest points of her illness are things I have felt myself. Martha’s voice as the narrator is authentic and unique and so are her thoughts and opinions on the world. We should feel lucky that Mason has allowed us into her world and the insights she provides through this novel.

Sorrow and Bliss shows the real journey in coming to terms with living with or loving someone who suffers with a mental illness. Despite how upsetting, confronting and emotionally challenging this can be Martha and her family never lose hope, a solid message to all those who have been, currently are or will be in this position at one point in their life.

I read YOU BE MOTHER, Meg Mason’s previous book, in 2017, and loved it so much that it made its way onto my “all-time-favourites” list. I couldn’t wait to read her latest one!

Mason writes with so much heart and humour that it is impossible not to get emotionally involved in her stories. Whilst Abi, our main protagonist in YOU BE MOTHER, is a young, inexperienced mother looking for a family to belong to, Martha in SORROW AND BLISS has chosen not to be a mother, for reasons we will gradually get to find out. What both women have in common, however, is their longing to find their place in the world, among other people, and yet finding they never quite fit. Martha has always struggled with people. Mercurial and sensitive, people find themselves drawn to Martha and yet she always seems to ultimately push them away. After her first marriage fails within the first two weeks, she marries Patrick, an old childhood friend, who seems one of the few people unfazed by Martha’s mood swings. The other constant in her life is her sister, Ingrid, who has always stood by Martha and supported her through her darkest times. But there are moments when the darkness threatens to engulf Martha, with no way out. Ultimately, will it make her loose the two people she loves most?

Mason writes about mental illness with a sensitivity and insight rarely found in fiction. Martha’s voice is as authentic as it is unique, warts and all, as she honestly reflects on all aspects of her personality, wondering what it is that makes her different from other people. It was interesting to see how getting a diagnosis changed Martha in ways that someone who does not battle an illness will never truly understand. I loved the way Mason allows us a glimpse inside the deepest corners of Martha’s psyche, even if I felt the weight of Martha’s pain pressing down heavily at times. On the other hand, we get quirky, funny, creative Martha whose sharp wit was refreshing and unique.

Most of all, I enjoyed Mason’s portrayal of family, and the way the people in Martha’s life reacted to her mental illness. From denial to unquestionable support, in the end family was what held Martha together, and each of their characters was a pleasure to read.

All in all, SORROW AND BLISS was a warm, insightful book exploring mental illness through the eyes of a woman who has lived it. Sometimes sad, sometimes funny, and always a revelation, the story carried me along in its wake and made me reflect on the different burdens some people carry through life.

This novel is incredible. I just could not put it down. The story is about Martha, her family and her demons. It takes a long look at mental health, about relationships and also about love. Martha seems ‘to find it more difficult to be alive than other people’. I have seen this novel compared with Normal People by Sally Rooney, but though I enjoyed that Book, Sorrow and Bliss engaged me much more than either of Rooney’s novels. Surely this book will be the next big thing. I couldn’t recommend it more highly. Thanks to Harper Collins Publishers Australia and NetGalley for an ARC of this wonderful novel.

5★
“But apparently I just exist in terms of my relationship to other people now
. . .
Days later, Ingrid . . . sent a photo of her hand, holding a Starbucks cup. Instead of asking her name, the person who took her order had just written LADY WITH PRAM.”

Martha’s sister, Ingrid, is a new mother. Martha is the troubled, funny, smart, clever, tortured young woman who doesn’t know who she is, and it’s been her sister who has helped her retain some sense of self. So it’s ironic that Ingrid is feeling a loss of identity. Later, after more children…

“. . .she sent the eggplant emoji, the cherries and the open scissors. She said Hamish is non-figuratively getting the snip.”

This is not a funny book, but it has lots of funny bits, clever repartee and flirting. It also has cringing awkwardness and poignant tenderness. Sorrow and bliss.

Great title for what is now one of my favourite books. Martha and Ingrid are daughters of artistic parents. Father is an unpublished poet who works in his study, while Mother repurposes found objects in her studio/shed (DO NOT DISTURB) and fires off cruel comments at everybody.

Mother’s sister, Winsome and her husband are the rich members of the family who host family functions, parties, celebrations, and Christmas, which everyone is expected to attend. They also support Martha’s family. “Family” extends to Patrick, a boarding-school friend of one of their kids.

We learn in the first sentence of the book that Patrick and Martha marry, but as the memories move back and forth, it is easy to wonder if they will, in fact, ever get together. She is stubborn and difficult. He is shy. She moves between fiery and morose. He seems pretty even-tempered.

It’s no secret that she’s suffering from something and finds solace sitting under her father’s desk at one point. It reminded me of the famous photo of Caroline Kennedy sitting under JFK’s desk, except Martha was considerably older. She sometimes sits under her own.

It also reminded me of Temple Grandin saying how much comfort a squeeze crate gives to some autistic people. She built her own. Kind of a hug-machine. Maybe it helps with that sense of “feeling at loose ends”. I never thought of it that way.

“As soon as I got home, I went upstairs and got into the space under my desk and sat still like a small animal that instinctively knows it’s dying. I stayed there for days, coming down for food and the bathroom, and eventually just the bathroom.”

Watching Martha cope, work, live, have affairs, weep, and cause her family terrible worry is a lot more entertaining than seems possible. It is not a preachy-teachy book. But it does show how humans are connected to each other in spite of themselves. What you say matters.

Of course, we hear only Martha’s side of the story. She is the one who introduces us to everyone and how they impact her and her life. She’s devoted to Ingrid and knows her well.

“Before the end of the party, I knew she was going to marry him because although he was beside her all night, he did not challenge her on a single point of an anecdote while she was telling it, even though my sister’s anecdotes are always a three-way combination of hyperbole, lies and factual inaccuracy.”

Her family and friends move between patient sympathy and frustrated annoyance, when they scold and lecture her about taking their feelings into account. Is she just putting it on for attention? Her symptoms are so varied and the doctors’ assorted medications just make her feel awful.

“I didn’t get up then, or the next day. I stopped leaving the apartment. In the daytime, I could not make the rooms dark enough. It sliced through the curtains, found cracks under the pillows and T-shirts I put over my head and hurt my eyes even when, trying to sleep, I covered them with my hands.”

Her condition is never named. The author just uses a long dash to indicate a blank, rather than specify something. It will remind readers of other works that deal with various mental conditions: bi-polar, depression, schizophrenia, and the like. But this disclaimer at the very end of the book is important.

“This is a work of fiction. The nature and combination of medical symptoms described are not consistent with any actual mental illness.

Yes, it’s a work of fiction, but by golly, it’s real, and it’s now a favourite of mine. Do not be put off by the darkness. She is smart, funny, and determined, but most importantly, she accepts that she is loved.

Thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the preview copy from which I've quoted, so quotes may have changed in the final publication.

Thanks to NetGalley, Harper Collins Publishers Australia and Meg Mason for my copy of: Sorrow and Bliss.

Martha knew something was wrong with her when she was 17, she had no idea what her problem was and she struggled for years. Despite seeing numerous doctors, taking different types of medication and she never felt right! Martha decided very early in her life that she didn’t want to have children and her sister Ingrid is the complete opposite and has four. Patrick her husband has loved her since they were both teenagers and he’s a very patient man. Martha is unique; she's human, she's very different, quirky and I liked that.

You might be surprised to know that I rarely get so engrossed in a book that I’m reading for hours – I think there’s an assumption that people who ‘read lots of books’ devote great rafts of time to the pursuit. I wish that were the case! In reality, my reading is done in short bursts – ten minutes at breakfast and lunch, a couple of five minute ‘power-reads’ during the day, and then half an hour before I sleep. But occasionally, I have to put everything on hold because I’ve become absolutely engrossed in a book. Sorrow and Bliss by Meg Mason was such a book.

It’s the story of Martha. Martha knows there is something wrong with her but she doesn’t know what it is. Her husband, Patrick, thinks she is fine, and that the important thing is that life carries on –

‘Martha… everything is broken and messed up, and completely fine. That is what life is. It’s only the ratios that change. Usually on their own. As soon as you think that’s it, it’s going to be like this forever, they change again.’

Patrick’s response to Martha’s struggle is borne from his love for her, rather than pig-headed denial, and much of the emotional energy in the story is directed toward the particular issue of wanting to be ‘well’ for the people we love; and the feelings of guilt and anxiety that go along with that.

I was desperate to cancel. But he bought a Lonely Planet. He had been reading it in bed every night and as ill and scared as I was, I couldn’t bear to disappoint someone whose desires were so modest they could be circled in pencil.

The history of Martha’s mental illness is revealed through a series of vignettes about her teenage years, which illustrate the delicate relationships she has with her parents, her sister Ingrid, and her extended family. The plot becomes more complex when Martha does find out what is ‘wrong’ with her; reflects on her first, toxic and short-lived marriage to a man named Jonathan; and struggles with her decision about having children.

This is a book I will be pressing on people for many reasons. First and foremost, a story that makes me laugh and cry in equal measure will always top my list. The humour is dark and wry, and mostly expressed through particular characters, notably Ingrid –

Ingrid got engaged to Hamish…. She said, ‘Fucking finally’ and told me that I had to come home so we could workshop bonbonniere for five years or however long it would be before they actually got married. She said, obviously she wanted me to be her bridesmaid. ‘But it’s contingent upon your weight obviously. You have to be fatter than me on the day.’

Alongside the humour are the heartbreaking truths. There are many stories about mental illness, however, Mason’s focus on its impact on family relationships sets this book apart. After almost ending her own life, Martha says –

Here are the reasons I went back inside. Because I did not want people to think my father was not a good parent. I did not want Ingrid to fail her exams. I did not want my mother to one day make art out of it.

That will sound glib to some, and very real to others.

Additionally (and without spoilers), Mason handles Martha’s diagnosis in a way that forces the reader to question their own assumptions about mental illness, and the stigma attached to a health problem that can’t be ‘seen’.

I was the victim, and victims, of course, are allowed to behave however they like. Nobody can be held to account as long as they’re suffering…

Secondly, the characters are wonderful and so thoroughly imagined – small details speak to their relationship with Martha. Of her friend Peregrine, Martha says –

…he was thrilled by my brushes with insanity. He said he did not trust anyone who hadn’t had a nervous breakdown – at least one – and was sorry his own was thirty years ago and, so conventionally, following a divorce.

There are highlights, notably the family Christmases at Martha’s Aunt Winsome’s. Winsome is a complex character and Mason’s slow reveal is exceptionally good, and again points to the way that families, as a unit, accommodate.

But Ingrid steals the show – she’s emotionally smart, straight-forward, and sees Martha in a way that is unique to siblings. The banter between the sisters, and their short-hand history and familiarity, made me envious of their relationship –

In the moment of waiting to go into the church, my sister turned back to me and said, ‘I’m going to do Princess Diana walking.’
‘Actually?’
‘I’ve come this far Martha.’

Lastly, Mason writes extraordinarily well. She captures the complexities and contradictions in people, the sorrows and the bliss.

Peregrine put his palms on the table. He said Paris, Martha. ‘Please go to Paris… Because when suffering is unavoidable, the only thing one gets to choose is the backdrop. Crying one’s eyes out beside the Seine is a different thing to crying one’s eyes out while traipsing around Hammersmith …I’m not being whimsical, Martha. Short another, beauty is a reason to live.’

5/5 Without question, one of the highlights of my reading year.

I received my copy of Sorrow and Bliss from the publisher, Harper Collins Australia, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.

This is such a clever book in exposing the fragility of relationships, when touched by mental illness. Whilst heartbreaking, it is also witty, funny and thought provoking.
Martha has known since she was a teenager, that something was wrong with her. Yet despite numerous visits to specialists, she is still unsure of what is wrong. Yet when she finally discovers what is wrong, it seems that it is too late to have what she always wanted but was too afraid to have it.
I so loved the complexity of Martha and her relationship with her family and Patrick. Each character was so well-developed that their idiosyncrasies make this story, even more telling. I particularly enjoyed the relationship with her sister, who has so many, classic lines in this story, and always brought such lightness to the situation.
This is definitely a book to read! It will have you thinking about it, long after you turn the last page.

An up close and personal look at mental illness, how it impacts a person and the people closest to them, especially when what you're living with can go undiagnosed and misdiagnosed for an essentially long period of time.

I was conflicted at the beginning of this book. I didn't overly like the protagonist Martha, (intentional of Mason I'm sure) but was intrigued by Ingrid and Patrick. I told myself to relax into the book and to let myself be guided and I shouldn't have worried because the second half blew me away.

It's a brutally honest account of how one, on their own, builds a fortress surrounding them and how the most difficult but rewarding act is dismantling it with the help and guidance from the loved ones that surround them, whilst seeking forgiveness, with the added realisation that you're done being hopeless. So confronting, yet comforting. It hit close to home in many facets. Sorrow and Bliss is exactly what this book is.

4.5 stars.

I’m in the minority of thoughts on this book. Having previously read and loved Meg’s book ‘You Be Mother’, I’ve been really looking forward to this one.
Unfortunately I’ve had to put it aside as a DNF at 25%. I just could not connect with any of the characters and even found myself floundering after the first chapter.
As I only read a small portion of the book I will not be leaving feedback on Goodreads or Amazon AU.

I cannot fault this book. I was excited to read another title by Meg Mason, as I really enjoyed You Be Mother. I was expecting something in a similar vein, but very quickly realised this book was going to be very different.

Centred around Martha, who at the start of the book has just reached her 40th birthday, and broken up with her husband, Patrick, we are taken on the journey of how they got to this point. It's not an easy or pretty journey. From a teenager Martha has suffered from a mental illness, and has seen many doctors and tried many medications. This book was quite triggering around the subject of mental illness and suicide.

Despite the heavy subject matter, or maybe because of it, I loved everything about this book. The writing is superb. It is darkly, laugh out loud funny in many many places. The characters are amazing - lovable and completely detestable at different times. The story arc is unique, and the ending is satisfying without being glib.

What an astonishing novel. It's almost impossible to find words to describe what I went through. Very rarely do I read something that feels like it was written for me. The protagonist, Martha, has a voice that is so clear and distinct that it is immediately memorable and relatable, I loved it from the opening pages and burned through this book quickly, which is always a good sign. When I wasn't laughing, I was crying. A stunning depiction of mental health and being a woman in the 21st century and my god it very nearly made me miss living in the UK. I cannot wait to read Meg Mason's other books and eagerly anticipate what she writes next.

Thanks to NetGalley, Harper Collins and Meg Mason for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

‘I seem to find it more difficult to be alive than other people.’

My heart is so full of so many emotions after reading this utterly perfect and deeply insightful novel. From the first sentence to the last; if you read one book this year, make it this one. If you are intending on buying a book for someone as a gift, make it this one. Seriously, it’s the best.

‘Normal people say, I can’t imagine feeling so bad I’d actually want to die. I do not try and explain that it isn’t that you want to die. It is that you know you are not supposed to be alive, feeling a tiredness that powders your bones, a tiredness with so much fear. The unnatural fact of living is something you must eventually fix.’

Martha is, as you have probably put together from the blurb and these quotes, not well. She suffers and so do those around her, but they love her fiercely. This is Martha’s story, from her teenage years through until the present day. I felt this instant kinship with Martha because she was born in 1977, the same year as me. It’s like this gave me a sense of knowing Martha, although really, it was probably more the incredible writing that did that! But still, her stages of life within the eras were recognisable to me, and this offered a nice a cosy bonus.

‘When someone you know beyond all being, who you have loved and hated and have not seen for three months, is coming towards you, avoiding your eye until the last minute, then smiling at you like he’s not sure when or if you’ve met, what are you meant to do with your hands?’

Despite Martha’s mental instability, this is not just a novel about mental illness and its devastating effects. This is a novel about life: living your best life, eventually, and accepting who you are and what you need to do to keep on living it. It’s about taking responsibility for your behaviour, for yourself and your own wellbeing, not just for others. This is a novel about people, their relationships, their daily interactions, family dynamics; this subset of literature is often tagged life-lit, and it is an apt description. When done well, it’s my favourite type of read, and it this case, it hit the mark in every way possible. It’s one of the best ‘sister’ books I’ve ever read, and even though it broke me – more than once – Sorrow and Bliss is a novel that has become one of my permanent favourites. It’s sad, yes, but funny as well and written with such honesty, just so perfectly balanced. It’s been likened to Fleabag and Normal People, both of which I loved, and I agree with the comparison. However, don’t be misled into thinking it’s another version of those; Sorrow and Bliss holds its own and then some. It’s a truly remarkable novel and one that I can’t even possibly do justice to with words, and I think it’s important to not hint at too much of what actually happens, as the real pleasure of reading this one comes from the unfolding of the story as you go. Taking Martha’s journey alongside her, just as much in the dark as she is for most of it. So, this is the point where I recommend you just read it for yourself. You can thank me after. You’ll be in need of a debrief and you know where to find me!


Thanks is extended to HarperCollins Publishers Australia for providing me with a copy of Sorrow and Bliss for review.

I’m unfamiliar with Meg Mason’s previous books, but Sorrow and Bliss is an enlightening, yet somewhat, enigmatic read. Poignant, haunting and elusive, the main character, Martha is a combination of endearing and tragic — she’s quite like the illness we suspect she has, but she doesn’t know or admit to the specifics. (There are plenty of hints for speculation.)

Her husband…and I must admit, long-suffering husband, is beautifully written. Patrick is supportive and nurturing and the fact that he’s loved Martha since they were teenagers is a romance I’m particularly drawn to. He stands by and watches Martha laugh, cry, marry, despair, divorce —and through it he is resolute, like a rock. She doesn’t want children. That’s fine he says. I don’t care…I just want you. The family relationships entwine and then divide, as families often do at times. They are unconventional, and slightly damaged — but I loved Martha’s aunt. She’s a fabulous character and cleverly depicted.

You’ll love Martha and dislike her, cringe at her self-obsession and her seemingly callous behaviour. But she makes you laugh more often than cry. The narrative is absorbing, captivating — it’s like nothing I’ve read before. I’m not convinced I loved it — at times I was concerned that the melancholic tone might be too much and had to put it down. But when I picked it up again, Meg Mason had slotted in just the right place, a comical scene, or a vision of Martha extolling the virtues or foibles of another, or a snappy piece of dialogue, to keep the pace and march the reader through. It’s clever, witty, and I’d read it again. The highs definitely outweigh the lows.

The title, Sorrow and Bliss sums it up perfectly. This is a tragic but amusing insight into the delicate balance of life — and of coming to terms with, living with, or of loving a sufferer of, depression and mental illness.


#HarperCollins #SorrowandBliss #MegMason #GeneralFiction #NetGalley

Thanks to NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Meg Mason's Sorrow and Bliss was not for me. I do think though that anyone interested in the relationship dynamics filtered through a lense of humor and honest would like this book.

This review is based on NetGalley ARC provided in exchange for an honest, unbiased opinion.

‪Loved this book. It is one that when you finish you want more. It had so many poignant moments that made you laugh, smile uneasily and your heart aches. Thoroughly recommend reading this. Touching on the inner thoughts, feelings, confusion and day to day life of Martha who has a mental health issue and how this affects those around her. I believe it was written realistically and considerately. . @NetGalley thank you ‬