High school is difficult for many students and for many different reasons. High school students usually feel indestructible, grown up, and all-knowing (or at least act like they do), but at the same time they can be trying to fit in, be popular, not make waves, so many choices to make.
Ali Greenleaf is somewhat naive, but she is also sarcastic, funny, has some really close friends, and has a crush on Sean Nessel, a popular soccer star at her school. He has caught her watching him, but they have never spoken. That is, until the day he comes up to her friend Raj and asks him to come to a party that weekend and invites Ali, too. Ali is beyond ecstatic. He spoke to her and invited her to a party! Unfortunately, the party is where she is changed forever, and even though Ali knows she should tell someone, like so many teens, she is worried about how this will change her in others' eyes. A difficult read, but a realistic look at teenagers, parties, and self-destruction.

This book is such an amazing read and I think this should be one everyone picks up. I like how realistic and compulsory this book was. Thank you so much for the arc.

To start, I really appreciate that the author did put a content warning in her note at the beginning of the book, especially given the content matter and how thoroughly it was depicted. I think the dual perspectives were interesting, and appreciated that the author gave different views of manipulation and trauma. There were some things that didn't sit right with me, however. First was the choice of naming a Chinese-American character (Suki) a Japanese name, as well as her and Cate just being seen as lackeys. Also, that the background characters were not particularly developed, they had backstories, but they didn't seem to warrant them any sympathy.

I believe this book is a pretty honest look into what high school is like regarding friendships, loyalty and sex. Maybe the author did in fact try to take on too many of the topics that high schoolers might face, but again that can be real life sometimes.
This book has many graphic scenes and triggers so be prepared going in.
I was able to read this book early as I won an eARC during BookConline.

Okay this was the fastest DNF I've ever had. And I had good reasons. I knew going into this book that it wasn't going to be a light, happy read. But I at least expected to like the characters and the writing. I hated both. The characters were extremely selfish and shallow right from the first page. The writing was just not my cup of tea either. There are tons of sentence fragments everywhere, and the author chose to switch points of view MULTIPLE times within one scene. According to my studies as a university-graduated editor, doing this rarely works and often confuses the reader. It confused me. So I wouldn't recommend this book at all. A better option for this type of topic is Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.

Although this book tackles some very important subjects, in general I found that it attempted to tackle too many subjects at once and therefore left some of them relatively unaddressed, or perhaps under-addressed. Before I begin my review I would like to point out that I am a clinician specializing in adolescent trauma, as well as a developmental researcher specializing in adolescent and youth development.

First, it's important to note that this is a very intense book, and there is on-the-page rape, as well as graphic flashbacks. However, I did not find this to be a gratuitous presentation and I think it presented a clear understanding of post-traumatic stress. Although several of the characters in this book behave in ways that a removed observer might disagree with, and that are often not in their own best interests, I found the characters' actions and thoughts most of the time to be in accordance with how individuals might react after traumatic experiences of this nature.

There is also a lot of heavy underage drug and alcohol use in the book, and although I found this both important and realistic, it often seemed to be a secondary issue that was, for the severity of the substance use, not fully addressed throughout the book or in the conclusions. This was concerning, as the topic is very important, and I felt that it was often minimized, and the severity of the substance use as well as the underlying causes for such severity, were not given enough resolution or discussion.

Another issue I had with this book was the misuse of the school "guidance counselor" or the misunderstanding of what a guidance counselor is responsible for in a school setting. Having worked at several schools in a clinical role, it is very important to understand the difference between a school guidance counselor and a school social worker. Without going too much into it, a guidance counselor has the very important job of providing academic guidance and, when necessary, providing referrals for any clinical (i.e., therapy) needs a student has. A guidance counselor is _not_ a therapist, and if a student has undergone a traumatic incident and is suffering from post-traumatic symptoms, the guidance counselor will work with other professionals to support the student and ensure the student is connected to the appropriate therapeutic intervention/clinical provider. This is important because if students (and parents) believe their guidance counselor is able to provide therapy, they will often not seek out or be provided the therapy they actually need. A school social worker provides therapy, and, if more intense therapy is needed, can sometimes refer the student to a more intense therapeutic setting (outpatient or inpatient clinic). (A school psychologist typically does testing to determine if a student needs additional accommodations at school, but this is not necessarily relevant to the story). This can be a very simple edit in the final book, and I sincerely hope that the change takes place, because I have concerns about the message this book is sending regarding who is qualified to provide therapy, or what therapy actually entails.

Wow. This was such an amazing book. As a normally fast reader, I had to take my time with this book. Dealing with such a serious subject was important to me, so I spread out my reading, leaving time for me to process and understand this fully. I definitely recommend this book and think it is a very important read!