A book that tore through my heart. Raw, real, honest, it a book where you sit down and it naturally has this ability to be absorbed into your brain so so much so you won’t forget about it.

Nina Renata Aron's 'Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls' is part-survivor diary part-warning call. To say Aron's life has been made messy and unstable is an understatement. Her adoration and warmth towards her heroin addict boyfriend have spanned almost her entire life and you watch in retrospect as it infiltrates every moment of her life. This is a true story of pain and pleasure, mixed with addiction and adultery, and is sprinkled with survival and melancholy. Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls is a memoir that will stay with me forever and always give me the courage to walk away. To sum up this heartbreaking read in one word: poignant.

This is an exceptional read - a really strong and honest depiction of addiction that cleverly combines memoir with non-fiction and fact about addiction throughout history. I was drawn in throughout, thought the writing was really strong and it has stayed with me long after reading.

A poignant and wonderfully written memoir which deals with addiction and codependency with compassion and empathy.

This will be an excellent coursework text for A Level students - there's a clear voice, opportunity for theoretical lenses to be employed, and a genuine opportunity for discussion on society, perception, and construction of biographical narratives.

An excellent read.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.

This was such a heartbreaking memoir about additiction.
Nina Renata Aron is brutally honest throughout this book and talks about how addiction not only impacts the addicts themselves but also on those around them.

Aron gives an account of a toxic relationship with K, a man she first met as a teen then later encountered again after marrying and having children. Despite knowing that K was an addict embarked on an affair that caused her marriage to end while she moved in with K, financially supporting his habit. She also discusses her encounters of addiction in her early life in the form of both her sister's addiction and her mothers boyfriend.

Aron also includes excerpts from research into the history of addiction and this coupled with her account make this a moving and haunting read.

I found this book difficult to get into, starting with the author falling in love with a feckless heroin addict when she was a teenager, at the same time as her older sister was also in the grips of heroin addiction. It was painful to read about a young woman settling for so little in a relationship because there was familiar drama. She splits from her boyfriend and the book gets easier to read as she describes her parents divorce and mum's new relationship and her own subsequent marriage and birth of 2 children. She splits from her husband and begins dating her ex heroin addict boyfriend again. This time as she writes about their decade long relationship she explores her own co-denpendency (to her boyfriend and to alcohol) that is keeping her with this man. There are some wonderful moments as she critique's the AA's Big Book and Al Anon and how they were founded on such heteronormative lines. This memoir is honest, evocative and gripping; not an easy read at times, especially if you are familiar with addiction, but as the book continues you understand how she could find herself in this place. There aren't many stories of addiction written from the women's perspective and this will be an invaluable addition.

With thanks to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Every so often a book is published that will connect with your soul so deeply, it's like it was written about you. This stunning memoir is one of those. Nina grew up as the middle child to two sisters, and became a caretaker at a young age when she watched her older sister Lucia descend into heroin addiction. Her parents confided their fears and anxieties to this young adult, and her own needs became something she squashed as there just wasn't room for them in the chaotic and all-consuming fear and worry over Lucia.

As she grew up and moved away from home, she grew her wings and became enamoured with K, who was to be her greatest love, and biggest heartbreak. Once again, her ability to take care of others overrode all her own needs and wants. K was a drug addict. Their love was obsessional, overwhelming, filled with the highest highs, and the lowest lows. Giving her all to him, she hoped that by loving him enough, he'd get well and they would have the life they dreamed of.

Not just a memoir, this book also gives the history of the feminist temperance movement, psychological studies into co-dependency and the origins of AA and Al-Anon. I devoured every word, and felt such a deep connection to the writer. Writing with searing honesty, I wept and laughed and felt the crushing weight of disappointment as K relapsed time and again.

Whilst a difficult and emotional read, I adored the sense of hope that shone through as she finally disentangled herself from K and learnt to sit with the emptiness that was left behind, until ultimately that emptiness was filled with joy and love - 'The thing I have renounced, have tried to set down once and for all, is suffering. Unnecessary pain. I discovered I could stop obsessing, stop controlling, stop victimizing myself. I only had to want to, to sit down and learn how'.

Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls is a narrative non-fiction account of the author's life of codependency. We follow the story of her upbringing and youth marred by the traumatic experience of living in the fear, and often the emotional shadow of, her older sister's drug addiction. Aron then shifts focus onto her long-term relationship with a drug addict as an adult.

The subject matter of the book was powerful and not a topic that I've had previous exposure to, especially from the perspective and experiences of someone affected by drug addiction who was not the addict themself. However, the tone and writing style of the book felt overly flat and often didn't feel like a personal account, making it difficult to connect to the narrative on a deeper, emotional level.

I found myself disengaging from the book more and more frequently as I progressed, and eventually stopped reading at around the 60/70% mark.

“But living alongside addiction is a distinctly bewildering experience. It is gruelling, depressing, infuriating, and often terrifying.”

Where to even begin? This book is incredible for its raw, often uncomfortable honesty. There’s nowhere for Nina Renata Aron to hide as she explores addiction, co-dependency and what it truly means to love a man in a patriarchal world.

I picked this book up for its title (incredible, right!?) and cover alone, not having read anything by Aron before. And I’m so glad I did. What could have been just another story about the havoc and heartbreak of addiction turned out to be so, so much more. Aron has this way of weaving together strands of her life with histories of sexism and womanhood, speaking so eruditely about women’s rage and passion at being boxed in to life of gendered labour. Aron traces this labour right back to her childhood where she was drawn in to caring for her sister as she spirals into addiction. This early taste of addiction and co-dependancy will leave its mark on Aron’s life, as she spends years trying to escape its vicious clutches.

“And isn’t that just an extension of women’s work, too? The excavation and analysis of men’s trauma - unpaid work they won’t do themselves - the ascription to them of some deeper reasoning, so that we may explain away the ways they mistreat us.”

I loved that Aron tells a woman’s side of this story. There are so many books about men’s addiction (which she lists early on in the book if you’re that interested), but Aron takes a deep-dive into the history of Al-Anon and AA and deftly dissects its problematic and heavily gendered history.

If I had one criticism, it would be that occasionally (only very occasionally) these more academic references could have been woven into the narrative a bit more smoothly - sometimes it felt like an academic essay and a memoir spliced together. But this did mean that I’ve come away with a reading list of incredible women to go and bury myself in, so it’s not all bad!

“Each time I read one of these stories, watch a film or look at a graph, I think about all that lies outside the frame, the heartaches, those headlines that don’t show, the creeping messes they won’t account for and couldn’t possibly contain.”

Raw, uncomfortable, honest and, if not uplifting, then an empowering memoir of independence - utterly compelling.

Thanks to NetGalley and Serpent's Tail for my ARC!

This is isn’t a full review of the book as I only managed to read 60% of it, but I wanted to talk a little bit about it as a) I was kindly given an advance reading copy and b) I think it’s a book I may pick up again in the future.

Aron writes her memoir about addiction, chronicling the various moments and people in her life who have suffered with addiction, and she does so with utter care, brutal honesty and in an entertaining fashion. This deeply personal memoir is well written and carefully crafted look at the entwined relationship of co-dependency and addiction. A good read – though sometimes dragging - and, without sounding too obvious, educational too.

I'm usually quite into narrative non-fiction so was looking forward to reading this one - especially with such a beautiful, promising title - but I have to admit I was rather disappointed.
While some short passages would from time to time surprise me by their poetry and moving emotional astuteness, I found the writing rather uneven, sometimes lacking maturity both in style and content. I did finish it because I wanted to know how this all ended, but found that the last part dragged more than it should have (maybe some more severe editing could have helped on that point).
Still, it sounds sincere and remains a good insight into codependency, which makes it more original than an umpteenth addiction memoir, and as such is not totally uninteresting.

I was hooked into this book by its title for sure. It certainly wasn’t my usual type of book but I’m so glad I read it! It was gritty, raw, emotional and really made you think about codependency in relationships. This woman is incredible and I’m so glad she shared her story in this book!

The exceptional title of this memoir is drawn from a saying of Carrie Nation's, a temperance advocate who felt so strongly about alcohol that she took a hatchet to the tops of saloon bars. Much of addiction literature is by and about men - the author references Augusten Burroughs, William Burroughs, the Basketball Diaries.
There are also some great memoirs about addiction by women - Drinking, A Love Story by Caroline Knapp and Sara Hepola's Blackout, which are also referenced in 'Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls.'

However, most of these books are from the point of view of the addict. Less has been written about the girlfriends, wives and enablers - the women who love these chaotic people and trainwrecks, and, even more interestingly, seek them out. Raised in a family where crazy love was the best and most venerated kind, with an addicted older sister (who comes through for her later), Nina is a people-pleaser who gets bored when a relationship feels too easy. In a blaze of riot-girl freedom before she turns eighteen, she meets K, a musician and fifties throwback who says with no irony that you 'can't trust chicks.'

K isn't all bad, though - hardly anyone is - and the two of them reconnect in later life, setting fire to everything around them in the pursuit of their crazy love. However, there isn't a situation that K can't check out of or disconnect from - as anyone who's loved an addict would be able to testify.

The writing is absolutely gorgeous - Nina refers to her and her two sisters as 'three little Gilda Radners in patterned leggings' and paints a picture of a loving, messy family that you'll want to hang out with, despite the chaos. Like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on crack (fitting) this is a sexy, scabrous and scholarly book that deserves its place in the addiction pantheon right away, even though the detail that the author gets sober is almost an afterthought.

Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls is an exploration of addiction largely through the lens of co-dependency, and particularly why women inhabit this role. With a close proximity to addiction through her life, Nina Renata Aron considers her relationships to those addicted and addiction itself, whether familial or her relationship with K. Exploring the histories of addiction and Al-Anon and asking big questions on the yearning to help, enabling, the effects of choices made, how destructive and all-consuming love and can be, and what it really takes to hit breaking point, it's deeply personal, moving, insightful. Brilliant book, incredible writing.

Exactly the books that make you explore situations and people's stories that you have never thought about before are in my opinion the most important. They show you the world from a completely different perspective and improve your empathy. Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls (what a great name) is a book like that.

The story of Nina, a young woman who is confronted with drugs and alcoholism in many different ways throughout her life is remarkable. It beautifully shows the co-dependent relationship between addicts and people who make their addiction possible. It is a book about priorities, love and moving on just to fall back again.

In the book are quotes and studies on alcoholism and drug addiction are woven into Nina's life story. This adds an academic back up to the characters behaviour. It was many times difficult to read as you fight the urge to shake her and tell her not to do certain things as you can clearly see where it leads to. And that exactly proves the point that you cannot change or help someone who does not want it and people need to make mistakes in order to learn.

Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls is an important book for people that went through similar problems in life but maybe even more for those who didn't- It will certainly give them a lot to think about.

I have read many memoirs about addiction but this is the first memoir I have read about being in a relationship with an addict. Nina Renata Aron has written a fascinating, beautiful and heartbreaking book centred on her long term relationship with an addict.
This beautifully written and compelling book deals with addiction - Aron's own, her sisters and her boyfriend K's; but also with co-depencdency. What compels someone to stay with an addict, to believe they can change them, save them?
It's also about growing up, first love, friendships, parents, motherhood, divorce, and being a woman.
This is a brilliantly written, fascinating and at times hauntingly sad book that I couldn't put down. I read this in a day, and I know I will be thinking about it for a long time to come. I would recommend this book to everyone, not just people who are interested in addiction memoirs. This is so much more than that.

I have read many memoirs about addiction, (an area of particular interest having worked in addiction services in the past) and Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls by Nina Renata Aron ranks with the best of them. It is a brutally honest and incredibly compelling book that held my interest from the first page to the last word, and I applaud the author for her candour and her skill in telling her story. What really makes this book stand out from the crowd is the focus on codependency and how addiction impacts not just on the addict themselves but also on those around them, family and friends.
In this book Aron gives an account of a toxic relationship with K, a man she first met as a teen then later encountered again after marrying and having children. Despite knowing that K was an addict, she believed that he was trying to get better , and so embarked on an affair that eventually caused her marriage to end while she moved in with K and ended up financially supporting his habit. Over the course of the book we learn that she first encountered addiction at an early age, having seen her older sister develop a habit and witnessed her parents struggles to support their child and help her stop. Besides her very personal account, Aron also includes some well researched information on the history of addiction and codependency, discussing such topics as the Temperance League , from which the book gets its eye catching title, to peer support groups such as Al- Anon. A lot of time is spent on the roles of women and the dangers posed by traditional gender roles such as the pressure to be the " good " daughter/ wife / mother etc which take something pure and twist it into a destructive force.
I went into this book thinking I knew what to expect and came out of it feeling like I was crushed, I was unable to put the book down while reading it and didn't stop thinking about what I had read for days. Overall a highly recommended, deeply honest and personal book that people may relate to in ways they never expected, but that will resonate with them for a long, long time.
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher , all opinions are my own.

Wow. Where do I begin? I don't think I have ever read a book like this before, it is emotional, raw and brutally honest. It is not my "go to'" type of book but it is incredibly written from start to finish and I am so glad I read it. I did find myself having to digest the book in chunks before I could continue, due to the themes and topics. At times it was a hard read but please don't let that deterred you from reading, it is flawlessly written dealing with hard topics in an honest personal light. The book allowed me a unique perspective on a story of addiction that we don't usually see. I highly recommend the book. Beautiful.
*Thank you NetGalley and Serpent's Tail/Profile Books for the advance copy, which was provided in exchange for an honest review.*

There are many memoirs out there about addiction, but it was fascinating to read one focusing on co-dependency and the impact of addiction on those closest to it. Aron approaches her subject with the brutal honesty it requires: Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls is an unflinching personal account.

Drawing on her diaries and vivid memories, Aron paints a blistering picture of life with an addict. She is not afraid to explore her own addictive or enabling behaviour, and how her childhood experiences shaped her adult life. Her voice is engaging, and the narrative is brilliantly structured so that you really follow on her journey. The result is a well-reasoned account of living with an entirely unreasonable relationship.

It is also well-researched and grounded in context, with explorations of how alcoholism, addiction and the Al-Anon movement have evolved. The focus is very much on heterosexual dynamics, and while Aron is aware of the gender power relations at play, I would like to have seen more of an examination of co-dependency outside of the heternormative model.

Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls is a brave autobiography, humorous and heartbreaking in equal measures.

There are many, many memoirs about addiction out there, but Nina Renata Aron rather focuses on co-dependency, the way the people who have close relationships with addicts are affected by this illness. She does so by contemplating her own life and the family she grew up in: The way her grandmother and mother lived and taught love and relationships, the heroin addiction of her beloved older sister Lucia, her own background in the punk scene and the Riot Grrrl movement, her depression and drinking habits, the way she chose her husband, and of course her relationship with K, the core topic of the book. K was her first love, and years after they split up, she takes up with him again - but now she has two young chldren, and K's a heroin addict.

Does our protagonist enable her lover's bad choices by not letting him down? Is her wish to help him pathological? Is K's addiction a lifestyle choice? Why are co-dependents usually women? Aron's writing is raw and honest, and she frequently refers to scientific research, historic developments (like the temperance movement, to which the title of the book alludes), and other writers like Terese Marie Mailhot and Rachel Cusk. In an intersectional approach, she investigates how gender roles - the (good) daughter, sister, mother, lover, wife etc. - affect decisions and can be traps.

It's certainly possible that the real K simply had a name that started with a K, but I found it interesting that Aron chose this letter to refer to him - Franz Kafka famously employed characters named K in his texts which investigate "identities of potential" (as Malte Kleinwort put it), of what people might become. Aron now states that co-dependents fall in love with their partners' potential, with what they might become if they were cured - while I find that (hopeful) sentiment relatable, it certainly is a kafkaesk idea (plus Aron holds degrees in Russian and Eurasian studies, and Kafka was born in Prague).

A real pageturner of a memoir about destructive love, a book which shows that not only addiction is an illness, but co-dependency is as well.