This novel felt so much like it was written by James Salter - if you like stories of lifelong relationships with all the ups and downs, or the impact of one death on the lives branching off from those LTRs, this is a novel for you. It's set in Connecticut but still somehow people have live an upper middle class existence while owning a bookstore and practicing a non lucrative photography career... A little suspension of disbelief, shall we say. But I enjoyed it.

I've always been a fan of Sue Miller. I've missed a few of her novels over the years so I was glad to see this one being published fall 2020. I was curious how the protagonist was going to deal with her not-very-monogamous husband. This is not so much a novel about how a woman deal's with the knowledge of his affair after his death as it is how she deals with it (one not) during the course of their marriage.

This is my 6th Sue Miller novel. I checked my Goodreads reviews and most were read before I was a member so I don’t have comments other than I know I liked her writing and her stories.
My Monday Night Book Club read "While I was Gone" back on July 9, 2001 and it was a good discussion

[author: Sue Miller] hasn’t written a novel in 6 years. In fact. she states in her Acknowledgements that this took 6 years to write. I am not sure what was going on in her life but something!
Story is Graham and Annie, who have been married for nearly 30 years. This is the second marriage for both. Graham is a bookstore owner and Annie a photographer. They frequently have parties typically to entertaining visiting authors. Their life seems too good to be true.
Hmmm
Graham dies suddenly. Annie is an emotional wreck. However, it turns out Graham not only loved books, parties, and food but also women. He had many relationships outside of their marriage and actually discussed it with ex-wife Frieda. However, Annie was clueless.

Story will make a good book club topic and discussion. “How well do you really know someone?”

Needless to say this story is a family drama. And depends on your mood as to whether you love or hate it.
I am going to take the middle!

Want to thank NetGalley and Harper Collins Publishing for this early release granted to me in exchange for an honest professional review. Opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.
Publishing Release Date scheduled for September 8, 2020

Always a great writer Miller delivers a look at modern marriage, mid life and aging. Not uplifting, but wortha read for her portraits of creative middle aged Bostonians.

Poignant look at the damage created by infidelity and secrets in a marriage. Miller deftly paints layered characters who are flawed and human, cruel in their kindnesses, and incredibly strong despite their neediness and weaknesses. This is a book that should be savored and approached with patience.

A picture of a marriage mostly from the wife’s point of view. Well drawn characters but somewhat painful to read in these sad times. Well written modern life drama.

Sue Miller truly captures the complexity of life and love and grief in this contemporary novel. While some of the characters were irritating, I found myself rooting for them to find happiness and peace. Life is full of twists and turns and I enjoyed reading how the many characters took it all on. With undertones of melancholy, this book was right up my alley, as I am not so fond of nice and neat book endings.

THURSDAY, JULY 9, 2020
Monogamy by Sue Miller
Yes! Sue Miller has a new novel after a long drought. I have been on such a winning streak with great reads lately, thank goodness, as they really light up my days, not to mention those hours of sleeplessness during the night. "Monogamy" will be out in two short months so you can place your holds on it now. It is a gorgeous meditation on the stages of love that we traverse throughout long-term relationships.

Annie is a photographer trying to get her career off the ground when she agrees on a whim to tag along with her off and on again lover to the open house of a hip new bookstore in Harvard Square. A big, blustery man in motion accidentally spills white wine on Annie's blouse and when she retaliates by dumping her glass of red on his shirt, he roars with pleasure and they are off and running. It seems he is

Graham, the owner of the fabulous store with its big armchairs and soft lighting and he is smitten.

We learn through the reminiscences of Annie, her daughter Sarah, and her stepson Lucas, about the remarkable thirty year marriage, the years of joy, entertaining friends and writers around the massive table where Graham holds forth and Annie creates magical meals. Of course, it all sounds like perfection and naive readers might be envious, but if you know Miller and if you know your literature you will not be lulled into complacency.

I loved this book for its wisdom. There are so many other relationships in Annie and Graham's lives that Miller explores with honesty and depth. I found the dynamic between Annie and her daughter Sarah to be especially melancholy but realistic in that Sarah considers herself an outsider in her own family, as if the bond between Graham and Annie was too tight for her to penetrate. Sarah seldom felt seen by her mother, at least not in a way that was loving or nurturing, and this led her to such feelings of unworthiness that she moved across the country to escape.

And Graham, as a means of assuaging his guilt over divorcing his first wife Frieda, encourages, no insists, that Frieda be a constant presence in his life with Annie and Sarah, to the point where Frieda becomes incapable of creating a fulfilling future of her own. And for this Lucas resents his mother, turning to Annie for solace and understanding.

I fear that the publicity about this novel tells way too much about the story, which I find often happens in reviews as well. All this information may leave you satisfied enough that you won't feel the need to read the book. But you must, because what Miller does so brilliantly through these deeply complex characters is explore the actual meaning of monogamy and the futility of expecting it to be a black or white paradigm. After all, a breach in a relationship may be much more than a sexual betrayal, in fact, I'd venture that an emotional betrayal can be much more damaging and difficult to overcome.

Sue Miller's work has always been a mainstay of great book discussions and "Monogamy" is no exception. Whether it be virtual or you'll actually be able to host in-house, socially distant book talks be sure to place this one at the top of your list.

ummmm.. this started off really well. We have Annie and Graham. Both on their second marriages and they might have been a little promiscuous, as it was in the 70's. They meet while Annie is sort of dating someone but she's taken by his "graham-ness". He owns a bookstore and is larger than life but literally and physically. And he loves her too, very much. But he also is also interested in this other woman.... and then years later, this other woman.

Jacket copy admits that Graham dies suddenly and now Annie is left with this big void and all this grief compounded by the fact that his first wife confirms that yes, he did sleep with this other woman and she knows this because she and Graham are still good friends etc.

The novel was great until Graham dies and the last 2/3 is the aftermath. Which could be a great story but for me it just wasn't. It seemed to ramble on and got boring and the characters weren't interesting or even likable. I don't need to like characters but they have to be engaging and these weren't.

Thank you Netgally for the Arc!!

Sue Miller's first novel, The Good Mother, was published in 1986. Think about that. Since then she has regularly created reliably well crafted novels that could be labeled domestic fiction, but are in no way chiklit. As she matures as a person and a writer, Miller explores varieties of families and domestic arrangements and has now arrived at Monogamy. The title is ambiguous and acquires colors and meaning as the plot expands. Monogamy is best enjoyed as a fresh experience, free of prior knowledge of plot and cast.

I felt like this was a well written book about marriage and the problems that can happen. I really liked the characters. I have this book on order for the library and I feel like many patrons will enjoy this book.

I love Sue Miller. She's always such a slow burn. I didn't read the blurb when I requested this book, knowing I would love it just because of the author. And I wish I hadn't gone and read the blurb before reading because it gives away something I didn't think should be told. It doesn't happen until 25% in and I wasn't expecting it before I read that it happened. I do like how Annie wrestles with her life throughout the book and her daughter's life as well. Great characters.

Another great book from this author. One of my favorites from Sue Miller. She creates and allows us to live inside a complicated relationship with very topical references. I never wanted this book to end. Waiting for a sequel.

My introduction to Sue Miller was nearly 20 years ago, when I read The Good Mother. It was one of those domestic dramas that grab something in your heart and won’t let go. Since then, I’ve read some others, but can’t recall them, so I was definitely hoping for another heart-grabber when I got a copy of Monogamy from Harper Collins and NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

A married couple of nearly thirty years, Graham and Annie seemed too good to be true: he owns and runs a bookstore in Cambridge, MA and she is a photographer. They have frequent parties at their home (often tied in with author visits, so it tends to be a literary crowd), and they have a varied circle of friends, including Graham’s first wife (who has become a very close friend of Annie’s).

Graham and his first wife have an adult son who lives in New York, and together Graham. and Annie have an adult daughter who lives in San Francisco. Although she didn’t rely on her photography to make a living, Annie has longed to get back to her career, and when she gets a gallery show after six years off, she is worried that her best years as a photographer may be over.

On the eve of her show, Graham suddenly dies in the best way: unexpectedly, in his sleep. Although she has been accused of being cold (her sister telling her at one point, “What you are is cold. You’re a cold little bitch.”), Annie is completely undone when left alone. When she discovers that he was not monogamous, she is totally devastated. There is a lot of opportunity for the reader to ponder the importance of monogamy, the nature of relationships, grief, truth, and deception, and whether it is possible to really know someone, even the one person you think you know completely.

It will be an excellent book club choice, enhanced by the way the story is told from various points of view. Some will think Annie should just snap out of it, some will think she was married to a beast, some will wonder at her choice, not long after Graham’s death, to seek out a man with whom she came close to having her own fling when they were at an artists’ retreat some years ago, and some will just think they are self-absorbed pseudo-intellectuals living an upper-middle-class white suburban existence. In any case, it was thought-provoking and a good escape from pandemic lockdown. Four stars.

I was really looking forward to reading this book but I found that I wasn't really engaged when I was reading. I think it focused too much on descriptions than the story itself. I wish it was more exciting because I thought the storyline was great!

I did not care for this book at all - this style of writing was tedious to wade through, though some may like this endless discussion of an idea without ever making a point, to be enjoyable.

Annie and Graham have been married for 30 years and have been faithful to each other all that time, or have they? When Graham unexpectedly dies Annie finds out he had a recent affair and now she is reevaluating her relationship and must deal with feelings of anger and betrayal. However, she has a few secrets in her past that will be revealed.

Sue Miller makes us examine our own views on relationships and to evaluate how well we may know someone in our own lives.

This story covers grief, sadness, and finally acceptance.

Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy.

Monogamy is the story of the marriage of Annie and Graham which didn't always have a lot of monogamy. Sue Miller explores many relationships that revolve around their marriage such as a first wife, children, employees, friends and even a mistress. A piece of literary fiction that examines the inner life of a marriage.

Sue Miller, in her title Monogamy, explores a topic that is not particularly sought after in today's culture of serial marriages and relationships. The typical contemporary protagonist is much more likely to be unmarried, never married, or married more than once. Annie and Graham's marriage is not the first for either of them, but it is a long enough marriage that "monogamy" is certainly descriptive of their relationship. Though their marriage does not meet the strict definition as it relates to having no other relationships except the one marital one, for all intents and purposes they are monogamous--in their hearts and the depths of their beings. Sue Miller paints such detailed pictures of the lives of her characters that we know them as well as we know anyone in our lives. One of her defining strengths as an author is that she is literary artist, adept at bringing her characters to life so that they live in our lives. Monogamy is a solid read, with just enough surprises in the lives of the characters, to delight the reader. Sue Miller has added another compelling story to her growing list of great novels.
Thanks to Net Galley for allowing me to read a pre-pub copy in exchange for my honest evaluation of Monogamy.
#netgalley#monogamy

This book is very well written. The characters draw you in from page one. Graham is larger than life and you can feel his exuberance for life, but after his death Annie is left floundering. The portrayal of her pain is very real. You are left feeling it all, which honestly left me feeling hollow right along with Annie. I had to put this book down quite often to escape the extreme moments of sadness.