*Minor spoilers*

It took me a while to read this book. Not really the book’s fault, but more of the format of the ARC I read. It showed up as a tiny book that made no sense on Kindle, so I read the PDF on my phone in Pocketbook, which for some reason refused to let me change font size and kept reverting to black background on white, and I had to squint and give myself a headache. I read on through all of this however, because I thought of it as an interesting title - <i>A Lover’s Discourse</i> - for a book about two people who, to me, sounded like they were on parallel tracks. Was I supposed to read between the lines? Maybe there was a compelling reason that they lived with each other that didn’t come through in the discourse. There’s discord there, there’s rootlessness and a deep melancholic search for a home, there’s a baby that - is she welcome? I had no idea.

There’s a point where the woman wonders how long does she have to know the man to not be surprised by some of the things he says, and I thought that she had to be willfully blind, or caught up in the snares of language, because it was fairly obvious from their first discourses that they were different people. No, not just that, the man especially appeared clueless as to where the woman was coming from. The woman goes to each of the places the man is from - Australia & Germany. She lives in with him in a houseboat, even though she hates the unmoored feeling, and he only agrees to get a flat when she’s pregnant. Then he uproots them to a barn house in Germany, because he always wanted a house in the woods. She lives there too, until the silence becomes too suffocating for her and she wants to get back to London. At which point, they get a house by the canal which she’s previously spoken of as something she could live in, in England.

My question then was why did the woman do all this? Was the man never curious to see where she came from? Of China? Of why she hated Bauhaus with a passion? Of why she cared for a warm tropical sand and the house with mango trees? Of the crowd and the feeling of loneliness that she felt when living in the isolated barn house or the cramped boat? Forget her PhD, because they might have discussed it one time - not to mention that careless disregard the man had for her - a social anthropologist who had to live in the middle of nowhere, literally. I felt for her. I’m not the most romantic person, and honestly there are a lot of compromises in a marriage, but even I could feel no romance in their lives. But still they survive, and while she complains incessantly about their unmoored life before they decide to live permanently in England, she feels no regret. So there must have been something between the lines, some portion of their lives untold because this is what she chose to remember, the colder more touchy part of their lives together.

Either that or I missed the point altogether. It’s not a Brexit book, although Brexit plays a part in how out of touch the woman feels. But there’s not much relevance to their immediate lives - there’s an antibiotic shortage, but no one screams at them to get out of the country. And in any case they end up living in Brexit Britain, leaving a more stable Germany. It was an interesting book, the prose is exquisite, but I’m not sure I got the same thing out of the book others seemed to have. I’m also not sure what the intentions of the author was, and that’s left me vaguely dissatisfied.


Thanks to Netgalley and Grove Atlantic for the ARC.

*** Also, ARC readers, please note that this is a regular sized book. If you get the impression that it’s a tiny book that makes no sense, you’re reading a corrupted file. Use a different format! ***

When I read the blurb I assumed it was going to be a deep and long story however when I started reading I found it was very small chapters with not much in them - i understand some people like reading this way but it's just not for me, apologies.

Absolutely phenomenal and at times poetic novel about an ambitious Beijinger moving to London for a new career and life. Truly relatable if you have ever moved to start over.

Many years ago, before I even started high school, I read Xiaolu Guo's "Twenty Fragments of a Ravenous Youth." It must have been my first encounter with China, at least that I can recall. At that time, I could have never expected that one day, I would move to China myself and build a life there. And even though so many years have passed, I still remember fragments of my first Guo novel. So I simply had to pick up this one.

"A Lover's Discourse" is a true literary delight: rather than being plot-based, it focuses on the emotions and intimate experiences of two lovers: a Chinese woman who just moved to London and a British man. The novel is told through the snippets of their conversation, each being followed by a beautifully written story.

Aside from the negotiation of what it means to be in love and build a life together, as a British-Chinese herself, Guo brilliantly portrays the cultural differences between the two countries. They are subtle and context-specific, but very relatable to anyone who moved countries and found herself in a completely new culture.

I would give it more than 5 stars if I could.

*Thank you to the Publisher for a free advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I’m not exactly sure what this is supposed to be; I thought at first that perhaps there was a problem with my download, but no. This is a culmination of snippets of conversation I suppose.

Very much feels like an updated version of A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers. Very interesting East-West dynamic at play and thoughts about identity, culture and language. I always enjoy reading Xiaolu Guo's book and this one was no exception.

First, one would think that A Lover’s Discourse deals only love because of the said word present in the title, which is a reference to the Roland Barthes’ book whose title they share. Barthes is actually mentioned throughout the book, either with quotes or by the narrator who is talking about him at one point. Both books are structured the same way, each chapter is a few pages long and focuses on one particular topic. Even though Xiaolu Guo’s book is a reference to Barthes’ book, I don’t think it’s necessary to have read his book to enjoyed or understand this one.

Love is indeed one of the main topics, but it deals with much more than that. Not only does it deal with romantic relationships, it also covers the struggles of being a foreigner in a country where your culture is completely different from yours (here Asian and European). Even though I loved all the reflections the nameless narrator had on love, I think the one she had on the struggle of a Chinese women living in England while the Brexit was occurring were even more interesting.

Needless to say, it was my first time reading Xiaolu Guo, but I absolutely loved her writing style and I can’t wait to read more by her.

A Lover's Discourse gets its inspiration from a 1977 book A Lover's Discourse: Fragments by Roland Barthes. In the current book, two lovers are sharing their thoughts on romantic love.

The conversation started out well. She believes in love at first sight; he does not. This exchange got me thinking about falling in love with my husband; I definitely believe in love at first sight too.

Unfortunately, the conversation quickly fell apart for me. The topics were scattered and I frequently did not know who was saying what.

7 people have rated this book on Goodreads, none of the ratings are below 4 stars. I feel others are getting it; just not me.

I received a review copy from Netgalley; the book is to be published Oct 16, 2020.

2 stars

Gorgeous cover leading in to literary fiction at its best. A book told in snipetts of conversation .Conversation between two lovers the eternal question of love at first sight.
I read this book in one sitting enjoyed from beginning to the last words.#netgalley#groveatlantic

This book, with it’s gorgeous book cover, was a surprise in many ways.
I certainly didn’t expect to read the entire book in thirty minutes. But.... it took another thirty minutes of sitting with a big smile on my face.

The styling is unique - poetic & lyrical - with many pages having only a few words.

“Xiaolu Guo is a Chinese British novelist, memoirist, and film-maker, who explores migration, alienation, memory, personal journeys, feminism translation, and trans national identities”.
Her books have been translated into 28 languages.
Xiaolu grew up in a fishing village with her illiterate grandparents , her parents and brother in Wenling, China.

This small book leaves plenty of room for the readers
interpretation. It’s different- and I liked it.
It explores ‘love’.... ( the universal experiences).....commitment - romantic- the varied degrees of the spectrums.

Here are a few sample excerpts to contemplate:
“A few years after we moved in together, we had this conversation about love at first sight. I remember you said: ‘I don’t believe in love at first sight’.”
“I was taken aback. I thought we were definitely in love at first sight”.

“Why do you think Home is lifeless? — I don’t think home is lifeless. This boat’s our home. But I think an enclosed space with a conventional set up is lifeless”.

“— We Chinese have very vague historical records of everything especially after the Cultural Revolution. We burnt everything original”.

“Chinese people seem to be very adaptable like their trees
— Yes but once the tree grows older you can’t transplant them again. The roots are too embedded into the ground”.

Real love.....
“It’s only real when it’s mixed up with dirt and sweat. Otherwise it’s just for puppies and adolescents”.

“— We are Brexhausted. Everybody has started to hoard medicines. They say some medications might run out once Britton crashes out of the EU”.

”— When did you start to realize what is yours and what is not yours? Do you remember?”
“— I don’t know. I thought everything was mine until I hit thirty”.

“— Why do you want to return to Brexit Britain? Everyone is struggling there.
— So at least I can feel my struggle”.

Xiaolu Gou is an artist with words—a man and woman meet in the UK....
We are invited into their relationship—
—privy to their problem solving solutions - their desires - beliefs - playfulness - sincerity and humor.

This book will be released in stores in October.

Thank you Netgalley, Grove Atlanta, and Xiaolu Gou