Dear Professor // by Donna Freitas

I feel weird giving this a rating but since it is required, I chose a 5 star because doing something like this takes guts and that deserves 5 stars. I can't judge something so absolutely horrifying and personal the same way I would judge other ARCs I read. Of course, the nosy person I am is interested in more details and this letter does get very vague sometimes, but I do already have her memoir on my shelf anyway so I can fill that need when I can squeeze it into my TBR. This letter is dark and light, terrifying and empowering, and so many other things. The honesty is sobering and as a victim of a different, but nonetheless just as personal, crime myself, I admire the strength it took to not only get through those experiences but also to go public about them and write about them. This is a very quick read and I definitely recommend it.

Thank you for the free copy in exchange for an honest review.

I had heard of Donna Freitas' memoir, Consent, but had not quite had the courage to pick it up yet. When I realized she had written a public letter to her stalker, I figured it would make for a good introduction. Dear Professor is an impressive work that, while short, packs a punch. Thanks to Scribd Originals and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this work in exchange for an honest review.

One of my most insidious fears has been to find out one day I have a stalker. It is the kind of crime that is so deeply intimate, so invasive, an so hard to put an end to. Police isn't always sure what to do with it, meaning you're left with no help or recourse. If you can even go to the police, that is. If you aren't slowly but surely cut off from everything, always haunted and hunted. Since it is such a fear, I ran into a few surprising emotions while reading Dear Professor. The main one, which I should have expected, came from that place where fear and internalizes misogyny mix and ran thusly: 'Why would you write a letter to your stalked? Do you want his attention? Aren't you asking for it now?' Over the past few decades, so called 'rape revenge movies' have become more and more popular. Nothing quite as visceral as a woman hunted and abused standing victorious over her abusers, covered in their blood and not her own. And yet this is not how the story goes and the release those movies offer is false. (For a great review and take on this, see Pajiba's review of Promising Young Woman.) As such, I couldn't help but return to this question of why Freitas would put herself back out there like this, actively addressing her abuser this time.

The open letter has existed for a very long time. Although (usually) addressed to only one person, these letters are meant for a wide circulation, meant to be read by as many people as possible. Perhaps the most famous is Émile Zola's J'accuse...!, directed at the French president but published in L'Aurore in 1898 to draw attention to the anti-semitism at play in the arrest and sentencing of Alfred Dreyfus. There are various reasons for writing open letters like this, not the least of them being to engender a sense of shame in the person addressed that their misdeeds are now so publicly known. In the case of Dear Professor, I dare say the key ones at play are both a desire to draw wider attention to the issue of stalking and the desire to show that one can live well after. While she has no interest in ever seeing her stalker again, Freitas, through her work and through her writing, makes it clear that this is an issue that still engages her.

Freitas' tone is accusatory, but also jubilant. She is not goading but she is radiating a freedom that must outrage her stalker. She also uses Dear Professor as a place to explain some of her own choices, such as not publicly naming her stalker or staying off social media. Both are understandable and once again make the case that life isn't a Hollywood movie. There may never be a completely satisfying end to these kinds of crimes. Freitas does her best to be as uplifting as possible in Dear Professor, but the undercurrent of fear is still there and it is sadly one that I believe no victim of stalking can ever quite shake. But through publishing her account and putting her own words to paper, by confronting it head on publicly, Freitas does inspire a kind of hope. I will definitely be reading her memoir, Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention, next.

Freitas shares a few very important messages in this open letter, namely both her remaining fear and her determination to keep moving forward. Stalking is a difficult thing to move past but I believe that by sharing her account Freitas can help other men and women to also take that next step.

This is a powerful coda to Freitas's gripping memoir, Consent, with its claustrophobic account of being stalked by a professor and priest. For readers of Consent, Freitas's letter to her stalker professor, from her adult, published self, is triumphant and necessary. Out of that context, though, it doesn't read very well or stand alone; as an ebook, it is slight. As something added to Consent, it does feel like a useful last piece in Freitas's long struggle with surviving and reckoning with the abuse. There's a very telling moment in it where she talks about how the abuse has long been her 'lens', the perspective through which she writes memoir.

Note: I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley and am leaving this review voluntarily.
Dear Professor by Donna Freitas is a quick read. I finished the book in a single sitting, lasting less than an hour, and instantly sent a recommendation to a friend for her to read this book as well. For those of us who are recovering from any sort of abuse or assault or interpersonal trauma, I think Dear Professor is a must-read.
Donna Freitas frankly and eloquently describes her thoughts and feelings toward her former professor, who stalked and harassed her in her twenties. Now, two decades later, this open letter details her rage and entirely justifiable unforgiveness for the man who drastically changed the course of her life. Her fantasies about justice and concerns about speaking her piece to him once and for all are honest, and while society might call her sentiments “ugly” or “unkind,” as a survivor of abuse and sexual assault, I can only beseech Freitas to SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
I wholly believe that what Freitas says in her open letter includes many thoughts, feelings, fantasies, and concerns for all of us who have experienced trauma, especially cases which were followed by a lack or miscarriage of justice. As I read, I found myself rapidly highlighting passages, saving sentences for my journal and therapist that so perfectly put words to things I’ve felt for a decade. The author’s words gave me not only spot-on descriptions for my experiences, but also a sense of camaraderie—that even though I’ve never met Donna Freitas, I know she understands how I’ve felt and now feel, and that I’m not alone in a single piece of my journey.
I strongly recommend this book for survivors, and also the loved ones (partners, parents, siblings, friends…) of survivors. The diction throughout is masterful and raw, and every page is a much-needed, positive contribution to the current conversation about survivors’ rights and experiences.
If I could give Dear Professor a standing ovation, I would; alas, a five-star review will have to suffice.

Uncomfortable, unflinching and a quick, no-time-to-catch-your-breath read. Freitas recounts her emotions, anger and approach to a horrific violation of trust, ethics and decency. The "personal letter" approach was a memorable way to tell her story. I felt at times like I was reading something I shouldn't have access to. Really well written, and I'm so sorry she lived through this.

I definitely did not expect to like this essay as much as I did!
I loved how it spoke about (sexual) harassment that doesn't involve sexual abuse, it shed light on a form of harassment that I have never heard spoken about!

Freitas speaks about how her professor affected her mentally and emotionally. He played a large role in her dreams, and she was/is constantly afraid of him finding her again. I love how Donna Freitas' writing voice is strong and pays a lot of focus to her ongoing recovery.
The essay showed how she has become stronger by writing about her struggles, but also in her own way! She kept the names anonymous in her memoir, and by openly speaking about the criticism of this choice.

This book also showed how school and universities usually place more focus on teacher safety rather than student safety. The book touches on consent, mental illness, religion, and sexual harassment.

Dear Professor by Donna Freitas is a must-read for anyone living in the modern day and age, and I highly recommend it! I don't think it's possible to NOT like this book, please pick it up!

This book is exactly as it seems nothing strange was thrown into the mix which I liked and it was very short. However because it is all a letter to a man who was stalking out main character it makes sense that the book wouldn't be very long. I was expecting this book to be more of a account of what happened to our main
character not a letter telling her professor/stalker about how it made her feel. I was very surprised to find out that I almost enjoyed it more that it was written in a letter form because you don't see that very often and it gives our author a chance to really express how all of these terrible actions made her feel. This really gives light to some of the reasons that women don't come forwards when bad things like this happen and it showed that even if you don't it still isn't right for someone to make you feel that way. I'm glad that I got the chance to check out this book because I think that there are a lot of things that are very well written that everyone should get the chance to read. I can't wait to read the actual story of what happened in her book "Consent". I feel that this book will give it a lot better understanding, however this book was still good as a stand alone and I don't think that I was missing anything by not reading the other book first.

This book is very inspiring and aligns with the #Metoo Movement. The author is very brave. Thank you for sharing your book and thank you to the publisher for this in exchange for this honest review.

Not quite what I expected. Underwhelming, but a quick read if that's what you're looking for. Would recommend for crime enthusiasts or others who want a suspenseful tale.

Dear Professor is a letter where the author addresses her former professor, mentor, priest, and stalker who has traumatized her and her family for years (an experience about which the author has written a memoir). The letter, though short, is vulnerable, raw and strong.
This letter's helped me process some of my own trauma, for which I sincerely thank the author.

I didn't really care for this book. On its surface, I was intrigued. As I was reading, I kept waiting on it to get "better." It doesn't. The author never really tells us what happened, what he put her through, what was so bad that he gave her PTSD in a sense. She references that he stalked her and he corresponded with her mother, but she almost glosses over that to have an internal monologue about how much she hates him and will never forgive him. She mentions once he tried to touch her, but nothing more. Outside of that, he was a professor who definitely crossed boundaries, but more into lovesick puppy than predator. I felt there was either a lot more to this story that she doesn't disclose, or she just needed something to write about.

This very short read is a letter from Freitas to her stalker, a priest/professor who terrorized her for years. Since I have not yet read Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention (by the same author), I approached this as a standalone piece. On its own, it is powerful, but I think it would likely have an even larger effect as an afterward to her memoir as the reader would then have a lot more context than what the letter itself provides.

This 5 Star work needs no review.
It's a manifesto for allowing oneself to grieve what could have been, to put down in words how the system failed this learned woman and robbed her of her dream.

It's also a statement that she doesn't have to give a voice or a name to the abuser, thus not enabling further empowerment...

It's a Brilliant letter. It's a powerful letter. It's a letter that far too many women have never written, but now they can share their story through her words; even if only in private. Because in private, we can retell our stories to the mirror so we dont have to face victim shaming.

Thank you NetGalley, Scribd Originals and the author, Ms. Donna Freitas, for the opportunity to read this Advanced Readers Copy of "Dear Professor". The opinions expressed in this review are mine alone.

This book was great! It was so easy to lose yourself in the story, and kept you turning pages to see what happened next! Will definitely be recommending!

Donna Freitas wrote a book about how a college professor - a priest - stalked her and used her mother, who was dying of cancer, to get to her. I want to read that book, "Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention," but have not yet purchased it.

"Dear Professor: A Woman's Letter to Her Stalker" was written after the memoir's publication. It's a powerful, scathing letter to the unnamed man who changed her life in so many ways. I could feel the author's anger toward this horrible man.

It's a very quick read - about 15 minutes - but it's wonderfully written and plain to see how cathartic it was for Freitas to write it. As mentioned, I haven't yet read the memoir, but I hope this letter is included in future editions as an afterword.

I received this little taster of a piece from NetGalley with thanks. It could be considered an accompanying piece to Donna Freitas' memoir, Consent which was released earlier this year. I have had that book on my to read list so it was nice to get this article! She writes beautifully and I'm now even more keen on getting my hand on her books.

Maybe it’s because I was expecting an actual memoir about the author’s experience about being stalked, as opposed to a long, rambling letter to her stalker, but I found this a little pointless. The letter is written to her unnamed stalker and is full of vague references to how she was terrorized and her life irreparably changed. The problem I had with it is that I’m the one reading it, not him, and I have no idea what happened.
Perhaps. I’m supposed to be intrigued enough to go back and read the actual memoir? Maybe, except now I probably won’t because I feel like I already read the last page.
Thanks to #netgalley for this ARC of #dearprofessor.

I read the authors book Consent about the horrific experience of being stalked by her professor.Reading about how her life changed due to him her letter open raw about what his stalking did to her is heart wrenching brave.So revealing an important read especially for anyone has suffered a similar act.#netgalley#dear professor

This short work concerning the background of an inappropriate relationship spurned on by a much older man and rebuffed by a much younger graduate student is much shorter than I anticipated it would be when I read the description on Net Galley. The ideas seem like a preface to a much longer text, so I felt like I was missing something when only a few swipes into the book I was already 34% complete with the text. The author brings a great deal of emotion to the writing and slowly releases salient details to her story without being overtly deliberate about any identifying factors. It does feel like a strongly revelatory piece concerning why the author has selected this topic to write about as it obviously shapes the psyche. While a bit disappointing that there was not a fuller story involved, it was interesting to glimpse the backstory of this harrowing and shaping experience to a young author.

Succeeded in making me want to read more about this story as well as the Author's upcoming fiction. The letter format as published speaks to many victims as well as stalkers. This is not a letter of forgiveness but a cry for what is lost. Boundaries are at stake. Mental health goes for a ride in both parties. This letter can capture the anger and grief of being stalked.

Copy provided by the Publisher and NetGalley