Cover Image: The Sport Marriage

The Sport Marriage

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This is a very insightful look about sport professional's wives lives and their day to day lives and struggles. I never thought about the subject and it becomes clear that there's a whole world going behind sports stars. And not always fairly contemplated.
Thank you Netgalley for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

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I requested this from NetGalley some months ago because the premise of the book is interesting. The wives and girlfriends (WAGs) of professional athletes aren't unknown in entertainment. They're featured in reality shows, fiction shows, and it's an entire genre of kissing book. In all of these arenas, the focus is on the entertainment value of their lives.

In Sport Marriage, Ortiz takes a more anthropological approach to the reality of WAG life. He interviews two cohorts of spouses across the more marquee US sports (football and baseball) about what it's like to be married and raise a family with a professional athlete. While I wasn't surprised by what he found there, I have to say the weight of having it all laid out in his text made me appalled on behalf of many of the women. Reading what athlete wives actually experience did take a little of the shine off my favorite sport-genre romances.

Ortiz is an empathetic narrator of what he hears from his subjects. One aspect of a sport marriage I had not considered previously is how difficult the spouse's position is. WAGs are bound by almost arbitrary rules due to their partners's occupation, and yet, are unpaid and possibly underappreciated. Being urged to keep the peace at home in order not to upset any upcoming games? We can make pointed barbs about a partner being like another child, but in these marriages, this seems to be an accepted matter of course. He cannot make his own travel arrangements or take out the garbage because his head must always be in the game. Couldn't be me. (Also, being unsubtly pressured by other WAGs to buy a new outfit for every home game as a football wife? Hard. Pass.)

One might argue that these women knew what they were getting into, but Ortiz is very clear that the depth of the sacrifices made by the wives is not widely understood. Ortiz makes much of describing the sport marriage as a "two-person career". He absolutely gives WAGs their flowers for the amount of work that they do.

<b>She attends his games, makes appearances at various civic events (with or without her husband), participates in community fundraisers and philanthropic activities on behalf of him and his employer, runs important errands for him when he's traveling, manages the relocation process with little support or completely on her own, [...]
'I would describe it as being very supportive in the marriage, but that's what you do when you have a growing business,' Nora said. 'You support that business to grow and do what it takes.... I really believed that it was a team effort. He was the product and I was selling it.'</b>

Ortiz doesn't shy away from the infidelity that is assumed to figure into many, if not most, sport marriages. He discusses the way the organizational cultures not only encourages infidelity, but also cover for them. The ways WAGs make peace with this, or don't, is difficult to read.

Ortiz has done beautiful work here. The criticisms I have for the book are mild: I would have liked to have seen more exploration of the male side of the partnership and also would have liked to have learned more about partnerships where the woman is the athlete. However, it's clear why those would have made the study much more challenging. In the former case, access would almost certainly be a concern. In the latter, the differences in pay between professional athletes of both genders might make it difficult to sketch a cohesive story.

Despite my general positive impression of the book, I don't know to whom I would recommend it. It's conversational, yet academic. I don't know that I think it's a casual read. But if you are curious about the reality of being involved with a professional athlete, you'd be hard-pressed to do better than this.

I was provided with a complimentary copy of this book via NetGalley in order to facilitate this review.

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A well written really eye opening look at women who are married to meN involved in the world of professional sports. A very interesting look at a life a world I knew little about.A#netgalley #the sport marriage

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The Sports Marriage is a study on how a marriage/partnership plays out for professional male athletics with a focus on the supporting role a wife plays. The author interviewed various wives from various sports professions and provided snippets of personal accounts.

I personally found this to be a depressing read, the cons of marrying an athletic far outweighed the pros in my opinion. All the rules, codes, turning a blind eye and coming low on the list of priorities is not appealing at all. I ended up skimming through a lot of the chapters as I felt that they were very repetitive, I lost count of who was who and towards the end I just didn't really care. I only finished the book to see if anyone of the wives had left their husbands as I hoped some of them had.

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This was such an interesting book on a topic I had never really thought about before nor considered. Very interesting and good for him he did all this research for so long. A surprisingly feminist read that reveals how much these women sacrifice for their relationships - without sufficient credit.

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The Sport of Marriage is a sociological study of life as experienced by the wives of professional athletes. Written in the tone (and extensive repetition) of academia, this grim account basically confirms that this is perhaps one of the worst marital choices a woman can make. The pressure to conform to unspoken rules from husbands, teams, and other wives; the chronic and accepted infidelity; the complete loss of self-identity; and the required understanding that as a wife, they will always come third, after the husband and the team....the list of downsides goes on for FAR too many pages, with nothing but cash and lifestyle perks to counter it. One of the few surprises is the observation of how many of these relationships are essentially "Motherized" - where the wife functions more like the player's mother, running his life and making things easy for him.

This should be required reading for any woman thinking of marrying a high-level athlete. On the whole, readers will come away wishing they didn't know.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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A really interesting topic, as a sports widow it was a fascinating insight into the wives of professional sports people. I loved hearing about the dynamics and expectations in the relationships.

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This book was based on the conclusions of a study conducted by the author on the role of marriage in the lives of professional athletes. It's an interesting look at how women are treated and gender is constructed and gender roles enforced in these relationships, as well as the hierarchies amongst the spouses themselves within leagues and organizations; it's essentially an academic tag on WAGS. Very interesting and entertaining.

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Interesting study on sport marriages. Good info.

Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free,it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.

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