A really thoughtful, realistic narrative of coming out - both to oneself and the world. I would recommend for young adults and teens comfortable with the topic of sex.

I really, really wanted to enjoy this book but there was just something about it that I couldn't get into. More than anything it's not the kind of art style that I usually prefer in graphic novels so I was somewhat lost from the beginning. Then I just found the narrator to be a bit insufferable.

I always enjoy titles like this because it is nice to read about the variety of ways people figure out their sexuality. It is good to see that there is no one way to be gay and to figure it out, which is an important thing that I want to make sure the patrons can see for themselves. I also liked it because its art and story were so simple and quick to read. I liked being able to speed through it. I didn't want to stop reading it.

Eleanor Crewes has a style very reminiscent of Noelle Stevenson, back when she was simply known as "gingerhazing" and drew fan comics about Thranduil being the Elven King of Parties and embarrassing his son, Legolas, in front of his new college bro friends, particularly Gimli. All of this is really to say, it brought me back to a different time in my life. A time where I was a young, queer university student reading webcomics and having a whole lot of anxiety. I saw a lot of myself in Eleanor. We dressed similarly in university, had similar interests; it's easy to relate to her. I was engaged very easily.

The delivery here is just effortless, even though logically we know it must have been somewhat painstaking. Eleanor feels like your friend or your sister, telling you her story of how she slowly came to the realization that she's gay. The art is stylish and matches the effortless voice of the narrative. There are a lot of coming out narratives, but they are overwhelmingly shadowed by "I knew since I was a child that I was not straight" or "I figured it out in adolescence but had to hide it for my survival in a hostile environment" or "I came to the realization and came out to all my loved ones, most of whom accept me and even told me that they've known for the majority of my life but never said anything." Rarely do we get to hear the fleshed out story of someone who just didn't question why they were never as enthusiastic about relationships with the opposite sex and how "coming out" is a process. As queer people, we're kind of constantly coming out in different facets of our lives to varying degrees but rarely will you get a story about that; nevermind one that can really engage young readers who might be questioning themselves right now. Moreso, it talks about how the realization can be gradual over a long period of time. We are so indoctrinated into heteronormative culture that many young people don't question if they even feel attraction to people of any gender really; most of us just went on dating the people of the gender that wasn't our own. I think for young women/femmes this is particularly true. Eleanor really makes this just so easy to follow and engaging the whole way through. I definitely know a lot of people who also could identify with this story.

A wonderful way to spend an afternoon - Eleanor is kind to her younger self, and I loved the references to pop culture and how they shaped her view of herself.

I absolutely adored this book. I wish past me could have had this book, and I'm so happy for all the people who get to have this book in their life as they work towards coming out! A wonderful queer memoir!

An autobiographical comic following Eleanor as she realizes and accepts that she is gay. Crewes artwork is fantastic. Her story tore at my heart but also hit home in ways I didn't realize until I read it. The Times I Knew I Was Gay is a story that everyone should read, it's a great perspective told with humor and love.

Today is National Coming Out Day and I'm excited to share this amazing graphic memoir by @ellistrates.

This story about the author's exploration of her sexuality is funny, honest, poignant and enlightening. I love how she shows how coming out isn't a one-time thing but a constant part of the lives of anyone who's LGBTQ+ - for Ellie, it started with coming out to herself and has continued for years. I rooted for her to find love and self-acceptance and her emotional journey is evident in every frame of this book. I laughed, I cried and I learned from The Times I Knew I Was Gay and though I'm straight and cis, as an ally I highly recommend it!

Thanks to NetGalley, Scribner Books and the author for an advanced copy to review.

note: I received The Times I Knew I Was Gay as an e-arc from the publisher.

cw for the book: lesbophobia, use of the d slur, disordered eating. body image issues

cw for the article: discussions of lesbophobia

I didn’t realize I was a lesbian until the summer before my junior year of high school. I was 16 (but calling myself almost 17), and at that point, there was still hope in my family that I might one day get a boyfriend. (Three years later, it’s quietly accepted that if they asked about my relationships they might get an answer they won’t like by all but the youngest members of my family.) A running joke for my entire high school career up until that point was that, well, I was lesbian and one of my best friends was a gay man. And this joke continued no matter how many times I told my friends I ID’d as bi. But beyond the fact that seemingly everyone I met thought I was a lesbian, I had never even considered it.

That changed that summer. About a month before I realized I was a lesbian, a certain author wrote an essay saying that a certain character couldn’t be a lesbian since that would be a harmful stereotype. Now, I’m a bit ashamed to admit this, but I was still active on Tumblr back then (which would stop soon after I came out on there as a lesbian and realized how unfriendly that website was to lesbians), and I saw the hurt this caused lesbians at the time. More importantly, the conversation afterwards introduced me to a term I’d never heard before: comphet or compulsory heterosexuality.

I won’t be defining the term here. Because what matters is that I learned about the term. I read academic sources on it. I read firsthand accounts of it. (I never did read the Sacred Texts.) What matters is that I dug and dug and read and read about experiences that felt closer and closer to my own. What matters is that something finally clicked, and I found an identity that fit me.

Reading the Times I Knew I Was Gay by Eleanor Crewes, a graphic memoir about Crewes own lesbian discovery process, I was brought back to then. My experiences echoed the ones shown in the book and I felt seen in a way that only two books (both, coincidentally, 2020 releases just like The Times I Was Gay) before had made me feel. It was a cathartic feeling. And it was a bittersweet feeling too.

Drawing on her own experiences, Crewes touches on the ways that we can latch onto characters and those characters tendency to end up being a lesbian or bi with Crewes obsession with Willow from Buffy the Lesbian Slayer. She touches on the way that lesbians just pick a boy to a crush on when we are younger or, when we are older, how we pick men to be attracted to. She touches on the ways that even if we decide that we ‘like’ a man, we look for ways to pick them apart and the smallest things turn us off them. She touches on the way that lesbians always feel a little different from our peers in a way we can’t really reconcile. She touches on the ways we are expected to change ourselves and hide who we are in order to fit in.

And it’s all painfully relatable. And it’s like a warm mug of coffee on a cold, autumn day. And it felt like an acknowledgement that what I’ve experienced is normal, at least to a small group of people.

I imagined, vividly, how having this book to read when I was a young teen or even a kid would’ve helped. No matter the technical issues I had with the art style, this was a book that spoke to me, reflected myself back at me in a way only another lesbian could do. And that’s powerful. And that would’ve helped me immensely if I had been given this when I was questioning.

It’s something I think about often but even in 2017, no resources on lesbianism were particularly available to me. I had to dig for them. I had to find them myself. It’s not like I was a stranger to the LGBTQ+ community when I first thought I might be a lesbian. For five years, since I was 11, I knew I belonged in the community. I had seen countless resources over the years but never about realizing you are a lesbian, about picking apart the ways society tell people raised as girls that they like men.

And I know I realized I was a lesbian when I was young, that I realized I wasn’t straight even younger but I think there’s something tragic in the fact I lost spent so many years with only a partial understanding of who I am. I hope, I desperately hope, that a book the Times I Knew I Was Gay can help lesbians discover who we are without having to read theory and actively learn to dismantle the ways we have been taught to conceive of womanhood all on their own. I hope it can make them feel a little less alone in this incredibly isolating process. I hope it gives them something to point to and say “Yeah that’s what how I feel” and use it to point themselves in the right direction.

That, I think, is the value of lesbian memoirs and lesbians sharing their experiences in general. They have the power to make us feel less alone. They have the power to show us things about ourselves we might not even realize. They have the power to push us towards the community we will find a home in.

buy the book*: https://bookshop.org/a/13798/9781982147105

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This book was honest, funny, quirky, moving, relatable, just all of the things really. If you are gay, bisexual, queer, or even just someone who has ever felt a moment of self realization I think it will be easy to see yourself in a part of this book. Everyone should give this read a chance!

This book was honestly a wake up call? In so many ways, I was able to see myself, in my constant questioning of my own sexuality. “Coming out” is not linear. There is no one way of coming to terms with who you are and I seriously enjoyed — but was also a little sad about — how the author recounts her many experiences about her knowing she was gay. It was such a quick read (read it in one sitting) and I really recommend it!

In this fascinating memoir, the author writes her journey to growing up and finding her identity. She writes how she and her friends watched “Buffy the vampire slayer” on tv and discussed it. She finds herself identifying with Willow who has red hair too. She starts dressing likeWillow and cuts her hair the length Willow has. When she goes to secondary school, she finds herself going over the pictures of guys in school and deciding who is cute or not. She has some dates but find them boring. Going to college, she dates some more but just finds it lacking even when she loses her virginity. She decides to just be herself. She finally announces on a new year’s Eve she is gay but doesn’t deal with it. Later when she meets other women and is introduced to gay culture, she decides to just take her time. She does find someone and comes out to her family. Her family is supportive as well as her friends.

The author does her memoir in a unique style. It’s type appears handwritten with many illustrations throughout it. It is done very well. I enjoyed reading it as I was curious how she found her identity. It does seem unrealistic to think that every family would be as supportive of having a gay daughter. I am truly glad that it was for her. It’s a good book that shows how one finds their identity.

This book was amazing. I loved every minute of it and I can't wait to add it to my personal collection.

This follows the story of Eleanor Crewes as she struggles with her sexuality and coming out. The book details bad first dates, watching (and loving) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and trying to come to terms with being gay. Overall, this was a fantastic book and I think that anyone would enjoy it immensely!

On the surface, this is a coming-out story, but Eleanor delves into more than her journey to discover her sexuality. She also explores her struggles with fitting in as a child and an eating disorder. By covering these aspects of her life, Eleanor is able to paint a picture of a young woman who has struggled to find herself and remain true to herself, which I think a lot of people can relate to.⁠
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Her journey to understand her sexuality was complicated and had many ups and downs. She actually shares the stories of the five times she came out as gay. It is incredibly honest and heartbreaking but also laced with humor. I highly recommend giving this a read if you are a fan of memoirs or graphic memoirs.⁠

This was a super charming and quick read! It was a very different look at coming out. It dealt more with coming out to yourself than coming out to anyone else. It was really lovely to see Eleanor come into her own as a queer woman and all the interesting facets within that. I finished this graphic nov el in a few hours! Super adorable.

The Times I Knew I Was Gay is a graphic novel memoir, and it worked will with the story. This was a really sweet book, and it made me both happy and sad while reading it. This book deals with coming out as an adult, and it was refreshing since I've read fewer of these stories. I loved that Ellie was obsessed with Willow Rosenberg, and I think this is a relatable book for a lot of people.

CW - bullying, food struggles

A vulnerable, heartwarming exploration of slowly discovering your sexuality and what it’s like to grow up as a queer girl who doesn't know she's queer. Loved the simple illustrations and how this book managed to cover heavy topics without losing lighthearted tone or humor.

I’m bi so my experience with my sexuality is different than the author’s, but I definitely could see myself in this book. Lots of elements hit me hard: the exploration of compulsory heterosexuality, the pressure to be “desirable,” the pervasive sense of anxiety that comes from avoiding looking too closely at your sexuality, the self-imposed timeline for when you should be in a relationship, struggles with internalized homophobia, realizing your sexuality and then burying that knowledge again, struggling to come out to your parents even though you know they'd be supportive, and the sense of freedom that comes with coming out, for example.

Highly recommend, especially if you're a queer woman!

A cute little comic that feels all too familiar.

The story goes through the author's life throughout school and how it is easy to be blissfully unaware of your sexuality when you refuse to acknowledge it in a way many people in the LGBT community can relate to.

Overall a very sweet and quick read.

The Times I Knew I Was Gay by Eleanor Crewes, out October 6th 2020!

This was an amazing coming of age/coming out story told in the form of a graphic novel memoir. This book was so honest and relatable. Eleanor Crewes invites readers to experience the awkward stumbling blocks to finding herself and embracing her queerness. This memoir shows that the path to coming out is far from straight.

A wonderful read a look at the process of coming out the many thoughts and steps it takes.It’s charming graphic novel an open honest story there’s humor and a lot of heart, #netgalley#scribner