“Grief flows like a stream in the core of our being.” This book is very heartbreaking and was difficult to read sometimes because of how raw the author’s emotions were. I have experienced a lot of grief in my life and I felt connected to the concept of her and her kids grief. It doesn’t go away, you just keep on living. This book also talked a lot about the stigma surrounding suicide and how different people react to something so tragic. I think the constant talk about Rob’s depression and anxiety, as well as her own was something we don’t hear about so realistically in memoirs. I will be buying this book. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for this arc copy for an honest review.

What a tear jerker, some sad, happy,relief, but most of all understanding. This book very much hit horror me on a personal level for anyone struggling.with or if you know someone who is suffering a lot of the time in silence,reach out,, because you will never know until you ask the question of that's what someone wants to be asked would highly recommend

I chose to read this book because of the title [i]I Understand[/i]. This is a phrase that I often encounter; someone will say "I understand" to me, but I didn't always get the meaning of what they're trying to say. That was confusing to me. A basic definition of "understand" is to perceive the intended meaning of, synonymous with comprehend; these were the meanings that I knew, and how I always used that word. From context, understand is often someone saying that they are choosing not to act, or that they are waiting for me to act. From the subtitle "after suicide", I began to know that "I understand" has a meaning related to suicide.

When I first selected this book, I thought it may be a fiction, and then from the subtitle, some kind of latest practice in suicide and mental illness. This book is actually a self-help/memoir of a woman from western Michigan. That's not a genre that I usually read, not to say that I avoid it, and I don't really know anything about these particular families from western Michigan, but I bravely decided to press on.

Vonnie and Rob are grocery store people. Vonnie is a cashier at a local mom-and-pop grocery store. Rob is the grandson of the founder of D&W, some kind of corporate chain of grocery stores in western Michigan. A friend of Vonnie works at D&W and encourages her to apply there; later, she tells Vonnie about Rob and the two go to a grocery store where Rob works. Vonnie embarrasses herself by knocking over a bottle of wine, and Rob has to clean it up. Later, Vonnie's friend tells Vonnie that Rob asked about her, and eventually the two go on a date. One thing leads to another, and Vonnie and Rob get married and have 3 kids. Then one day, November 8, 2003 to be exact, Rob kills himself by hanging himself from the garage door.

Understandably, this leaves Vonnie devastated, and that is the topic for much of the book. Vonnie recalls her memories of Rob, of which there are many, and occasionally shares what she did in their relationship, usually negative, in a way that seems to express some guilt. Vonnie is often unimpressed and critical of the husband and wife things that Rob does. For example, Vonnie criticizes a 32 year old Rob for having the job of a man in his fifties; Vonnie is not happy that Vonnie is not living a similar life to similarly aged couples. It is only after Rob's death that she becomes aware of all the doings that he did. Following Rob's death, Vonnie's friends compare death to divorce. In this way, Vonnie should feel that the absence of Rob and all the husband and wife activities can be replaced with a new husband. If Vonnie already has a new husband in mind, as in divorce, that is not obvious here. Vonnie takes to playing the widow character for her social group, and that group does not seem to need a widow all that often.

So, 900 people showed up to the funeral, and when it was over, Vonnie and her family's life with Rob was over.

As a widow, Vonnie comments that people often say that at least the suicide was not a divorce, divorce is so much harder. Dead men tell no tales, and so it seems that people in Vonnie's life struggle with the relationship math of estranged spouses. Again, I'm not an expert in families from western Michigan, but this is all pretty common in christian churches, and did I mention that these are grocery store people?

To conclude, Vonnie and her 3 kids take the conventional, recitative stance regarding suicide and mental illness. Vonnie uses the two word phrase "I understand" in the choosing not to act way; the core beliefs of her 2014 nonprofit organization state the words "i understand" followed by a tenet of that conventional stance regarding suicide. The statements of her 3 children say nothing out of the ordinary, and thusly, no one should question the mental health of these people who have a clear family history of or closeness to suicide. Perhaps the point of this book is to demonstrate that even 17 years after her husband's death, a widow's life does not seem to develop much more.

Now that I know, for sure, what "i understand" means, I wonder, what can I say to people who say "I understand"? Imagine someone says "I understand". And I reply "I understand". And we both wait for the other to act. Maybe I should not say "I understand" because I am not the person experiencing the suicide. This book leaves the reader with a lot of unanswered questions.

Vonnie and her family share their healing journey in this book and I was moved by how in sharing her story, she never takes away from Rob for taking his own life. And for someone who has had a family member take their own life, this was a comforting read.
Thanks Netgalley for the eARC.
I hope anyone who reads this finds some healing or comfort as well.

I could not read it because it was only available via protected PDF. Would love to read this book but would.need Kindle formatting.

A beautiful, heart-wrenching story about the impact of the author's late husband's suicide. Written in a series of letters, she details her healing and grieving process, from re-living memories to finding support from family and friends. I was blown away by the author's strength and ability to have so much compassion for her husband. Many assume suicide is a selfish act, but Woodrick discusses the pain that underlies those who take their own life, in a way that allows you to take away in the other person's shoes. This is a great read for destigmatizing suicide.

Heartwrenching. Is there anything else to be said about this title? Beautiful writing and strong, clear voice.