The title was catchy, but the book definitely has a strong emphasis on what the author has learned throughout his life as a therapist and in his personal life. This book reminds the reader that sometimes tough conversations are required and can be done with compassion.

Thank you Watkins and Netgalley for this ARC.
I enjoyed this book based on the authors lessons learned in life and as a therapist. Compassion is something we can all benefit from growing, especially in this recent year. I have picked this up a few times to reread passages and stories that have particularly touched me.

Just such a great pandemic read, self-help is something that consistently sells and this one is a beautiful addition to your shelves.

Personal Knowledge, Taking Action, and Emotional Alchemy

While the first two lines of the introduction reveal only some of the takeaways from this book, I found it compelling and inspiring: “It is our challenge to find strength and meaning in the tragedies, fears and confusions that confront us. In discovering ways of dealing with those inevitable events, we have the possibility of alchemizing our experience, turning the base metal of our pain into the gold of wisdom, understanding, enrichment and purpose.”

In the introduction to this book, the author tells a very painful family story of mental illness, including his daughter's suicide. Although the book's description would make it appear as though this is just a professional therapist’s wisdom gained over 30 years of working with patients, it is strongly informed by his own and his family’s personal struggles. The book is transparent and raw in some places, and I loved the insights offered on each of the 10 topics covered. Each chapter starts with a definition of what it means; sometimes he extends this to include a story from his experience. He then drills down into specific aspects of it, providing examples from patients’ experience. But he has not forgotten the reader. Throughout each chapter and at the end of them, he gives you specific ideas about how to apply the concept in your life. Some topics are about being more aware, about both yourself and others, and choosing to act in difficult circumstances. Others are about that alchemy that he talks about in the quote above, about finding strength and meaning in the harder aspects of life. Highly recommended.

Definitely a book to read if you're interested in positive self development. Lots of examples of how to put useful insight into practice. Written in such a warm and engaging way that you don't realise several hours passing. The title sums it all - it's great to get rid of things that are negative in your life, but you can still do it in a compassionate way.

This book is inspirational rather than instructional, and I can't shake the feeling that I would've liked it better if it were a biography rather than a self-help book. It's a collection of stories about the people who've attended Stern's therapy groups and how they've slain their dragons, whatever those dragons may be: emotional problems, difficult relationships, unfulfilling careers, or in Stern's case the harrowing story of his daughter's struggle with mental illness and eventual suicide. Many of these stories were very touching and deserved to be more than just illustrations for the theme of the chapter. I wanted to know more about these heroes and how they came into Stern's life, how they blossomed as people and changed him along the way.

The exercises, on the other hand, were scarce and often frustratingly vague. For example, in the chapter on the importance of developing intuition and self-trust – which Stern calls 'your radar' – the exercise instructions are:

Find and develop your radar.
Spend some time daily in a meditative practise.

But this is hardly helpful for the person who lacks a radar – if you lack trust in yourself then building trust is very difficult, since you have no way of knowing whether or not your intuitions are trustworthy. It takes a radar to find a radar.

In the stories, the protagonists have the therapy group to help them see when they are truly following their radar and when they are allowing themselves to be misled by the ego (in one story, poor Freddie, who is a little bit of a creep, goes through a terrible Maoist struggle session with all the women in the group before he realises his suppressed motivations). It seems like the sort of thing that would be terribly hard to do alone (and, indeed, Stern has a whole chapter about the importance of building a sangha, or support group, to help you slay your dragons).

It's a thoughtful and interesting book, and I'm glad that it's my first Netgalley book – thanks to Mr Stern, Netgalley, and Watkins publishing – I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to know a bit more about how group therapy works but perhaps not to the solitary practitioner looking for a handguide.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is an account of what the author has learned through groups, therapy, and life experience.

While the title is appealing, I would have liked some more depth in the anecdotes presented. There are a lot of case studies that are fairly short about how to apply life lessons around grief and anger that I was hoping to explore more. At times the techniques felt superficial, but the concepts sound nice.

I was hoping for more of a how to when this book reads more like cases where it works.

I enjoyed reading this book and learning about how to slay dragons with compassion. The title was catchy, but the book definitely has a strong emphasis on what the author has learned throughout his life as a therapist and in his personal life. This book reminds the reader that sometimes tough conversations are required and can be done with compassion.

Thanks to Watkins Publishing & NetGalley!