As with speaking to people wether face to face or as of now through texting or on line platforms you need to know what to say, how to say it. God holds us accountable for our words we speak!! You can either bless someone or curse someone and YOU are responsible. D does a great job of being the big brother and showing you right or wrong.

A recent Amazon search brought to my attention A Way With Words: Using Our Online Conversations for Good by Daniel Darling. The title instantly caught my eye as interactions between Christians on social media, especially this year, have caused many questions to arise in my heart. I enjoy using social media and unlike many, I’m a firm believer that it can be used for redemptive purposes. However, I’ve often felt that I’m in the minority when it comes to the way I think about social media. I’ve wondered why it doesn’t seem that more Christians view it as a means of proclaiming the gospel and a catalyst for loving, what Darling refers to as, our digital neighbors. A Way With Words helped me work through my questions and brought so much clarity to my heart and mind. I couldn’t put it down and it is one of the best books I’ve read this year!

The book begins with Darling addressing the general lack of information discipline among social media users. Regarding this he wrote, “Paul was not against the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge. All over his letters, we see him urge people to study and grow and learn. And it is Paul who, nearing his own death, asked for someone to bring his books (2 Tim. 4:13). And yet he understood the difference between idle pursuit of cheap information and a lifelong commitment to wisdom. He committed to this discipline in his own life, telling the church at Corinth that he ‘decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified’ (1 Cor. 2:2).”

Darling urges Christians to use their online conversations to speak of the hope of the gospel and to honor God with how they speak as well as when. On page 39 he wrote, “Being slow to speak seems bizarre in a world that is quick to speak, in a world where we can press ‘send’ and let everyone know our opinions in a matter of minutes. But even though Scripture urges believers to, at times, speak out and to seek justice, it doesn’t ever say that we have to do so immediately. In fact, the Bible seems to counsel the opposite.” Building on this example, Darling explained, “We might think we are doing the right thing by speaking against injustice, but if we do this without having all the facts and spread misinformation, we are sinning. Even if we are doing it in favor of a right cause.” These words were both convicting and compelling and made me firm in my position to seek out the truth at all costs and to value the Truth (John 14:6) above all else.
A few pages later, Darling provided readers with some really helpful questions to consider when approaching online interactions. The questions are: “Am I commenting on this because it makes people with whom I disagree look bad? Would I have the same position if the person in this story were in my own ‘tribe’? Am I willing to comment on news stories that might provoke disagreements with those who are most apt to agree with me? (pg. 42)”.

A Way With Words explores concepts relating to online communication including discernment, media, tribalism, and conspiracy theories. I found the bit on discernment (pg. 56-57) to be particularly refreshing: ” . . . discernment is not an opportunity to show off our theological brilliance or to win arguments or to own somebody rhetorically. Discernment is not about proving our rightness or the rightness of our tribe. Paul tells the young Timothy that before he confronts someone who is in error he must confront his own soul, to ask the Spirit of God to discern his motives. There is a delicious temptation to approach doctrinal disputes, even genuine fights for the faith, with less-than-pure motives. Paul urges some personal diagnostic questions: Do I have a pure heart? Do I have a good conscience? Do I have a sincere faith?”

I’m generally not a fan of discernment blogs as they seem to make for lazy Christians which is why I’m grateful for the gentle reminder on page 59, “I think what separates Biblical discernment from what we often see online is love. Love motivates us to avoid offering critiques flippantly, without getting all the facts and understanding fully the position of the person with whom we disagree.”

The chapter discussing biting and devouring (Galatians 5:15) was peppered with more helpful questions. These include: “Is this conflict a matter of Christian orthodoxy or a matter of foolish controversy? (2 Tim. 2:23; Titus 3:9), Is what I’m about to publicly say, spread, or read actually true? (Phil. 4:8), Am I applying the law of love (1 Cor. 13:7)? What is my heart motive? (1 Tim. 1:5), Am I the person to speak at this moment?, Am I choosing my words carefully? (1 Pet. 3:15-16), Are we known for love for brothers and sisters in the Lord? (John 13:35).”

Perhaps my favorite chapter was Act Justly, Love Mercy, Post Humbly. This chapter addressed the growing trend of digital activism and reading it was equal parts convicting and refreshing. Darling wrote, “Social media often brings out our inner Pharisee. Every day, it seems, we are at our digital temples crying loudly, for everyone to hear, that we are so very unlike those other people. This kind of activism isn’t neighbor love. It’s self-love, a misguided quest for retweets and shares, the pursuit of digital approval. The truth is, we often mistake cathartic social media rants for real work. Christians should be outraged at injustice and use their voices on behalf of the vulnerable, but we don’t have the right to use them as outlets for our outrage and props for our personal identity crafting. This kind of activism is not only not what Jesus intends when he calls us to follow him into the world, it’s also highly ineffective in producing actual change. Do we really care about injustice, or are we only here to cheapen ideological points?”

In addition to providing an excellent and compelling treatise on best practices on social media use for Christians, Darling gives readers hope for their digital interactions by encouraging them to be a part of a local church. He said, “Church life, done right, helps us cultivate community, offline, with real people who are different than us,” (pg. 159).

A Way With Words was a refreshing and especially helpful read and I’m pleased to give it my highest recommendation. If you are a Christian who uses social media, even at the most basic level, I highly encourage you to read this book.

We live in an extraordinarily connected age. The power and reach of our communication is no longer bound by location or social station. Through the power social media, anyone can directly speak to their favorite celebrity, the CEO of Apple, or even the President of the United States.

But while we've magnified our ability to speak, we haven't also raised the standard for speech. The platforms themselves seem to reward hot takes and sharp replies that generate likes, shares, and follows.

So how does a Christian navigate such a space? This is the aim of Daniel Darling’s new book A Way with Words. What Darling offers is not new tips for growing a platform or advice on how to avoid being "cancelled", but Scriptural wisdom about stewarding our speech for the advancement of the Kingdom.

Summary

The ten chapters and two appendices of the book form a cluster of meditations on digital communication and its pitfalls rather than a sequential or cohesive argument.

These chapters discuss a variety of issues such a the addictiveness of new information (ch 1), criticism and "discernment ministries"(ch 3), advocacy and selfish platform building (ch 6), and the problem of conspiracy theories (ch 7) among other topics. The appendices address topics of how the Bible addresses speech (Appendix A) and how to read the news (Appendix B).

Evaluation

Strengths
The chief strength of A Way with Words is a rich grounding and application of the gospel. Throughout the book, Darling repeatedly applies the good news of Jesus to common snares of social media.

In answer to social media’s addictive power and FOMO, Darling reminds readers that “the quick thrill of being in the know is the cheap substitute for the peace of knowing the One who created us and rescues us from our fruitless pursuits and is leading us toward a place where our longings to know and be known will be fully realized” (25).

When discussing the temptation to present a perfectly curated – ’grammable – lifestyle online, Darling observes that at its heart is not mere vanity, but a desire to be known, “Woven into the ethos of our image-bearing selves is the deep-seated desire for intimacy with our Creator” (103). The solution, says Darling, is not to simply unplug from all social media, but instead to ground our identity in what Christ has done. “I want you to read this again: Your Father loves you. You are seen and known by him. You don’t have to perform like a hamster on a wheel for God to approve of you. You are enough because Christ was enough for you.”

These constant reminders of how the gospel speaks to and shapes our online lives was unexpected, arresting, and utterly beautiful.

Flowing from his rich understanding of the gospel is the book’s second strength: Darling’s many penetrating insights into common (yet sinful) patterns of communication. In chapter 6, Darling describes two ways in which online advocacy can quickly veer away from justice-seeking to selfish platform-building. In the first, is when online advocacy turns into a race to outrage in order to prove inherent righteousness, “Social media often brings out our inner Pharisee. Every day, it seems, we are at our digital temples crying loudly, for everyone to hear, that we are so very unlike those other people" (115). In the second, are those whose advocacy is not about playing the savior but the perpetual victim or underdog. These often embellish or even entirely favorite their trauma and trouble (118). Instead of seeking authenticity and vulnerability in their storytelling they are simply trying to gain an audience and affirmation (120).

Similar, penetrating analysis is given to a range of topics such as the importance of being slow to react and slow to rage tweet (ch 2), the difference between discernment and “discernment ministries” (ch 6), civility in engagement (ch 8), and the importance of being vitally connected to a local, live church Body (ch 9). Each chapter is full of rich, pastoral insight and wisdom.

Third and finally, A Way with Words is often wonderfully practical. Flowing from Scripture and full of warm insight, it’s not surprising that Darling is able to offer helpful advice on questions to ask ourselves before criticizing others (like in chapter 6) or his brief thoughts on how to make our corner of social media a better place, “Whether your own platform is large or small, don’t make it all about you. Be free with your praise of others’ work. Share good content and ideas widely. Life up others” (190).


Weaknesses
For all its strengths, there are two drawbacks. First, the structure of the book is unclear. As mentioned in the summary, the book does not constitute one, cohesive argument but more of a cluster of meditations on digital communication. Because neither the table of contents nor the introduction clearly indicate this, the transition between chapters and topics can feel disjointed or even a little confusing. Before I realized the intention, I found myself a little puzzled as the book jumped from pastors and platform to obsession with public image to conspiracy theories.

Second, while the book was rich and practical, at times specific application felt uneven or began to run together. If every chapter could have had the kind of concrete, specific advice of chapter 3 (on discernment and criticism) the book would have been enormously strengthened.

Yet in comparison to the enormous strengths of the overall book, these feel like minor quibbles rather than true flaws in the Darling’s work.

Conclusion

A Way with Words is simply excellent. Dan Darling has given us a clear, winsome vision of Christian engagement online. It is an insightful, Scripture-saturated, and practical book that will bless those who read. I highly encourage anyone who engages with others online to read this gift of wisdom and thoughtfulness that Dan Darling has given the church.

We are kind even when kindness doesn’t pay off. Why? Because of the way God values human beings.
This quote from Daniel Darling in his new book, A Way with Words (out August 18), exemplifies why Christians should be careful of their conversations on the internet and why it is sometimes so difficult to do so. The internet rewards unkindness and division so strongly (with “likes”, “follows”, etc.) that thousands of people have built large followings on social media from taking the words of someone else and “owning” them by presenting that person’s views in a way that person wouldn’t recognize. And that’s only one tactic. The urge to be uncivil, to digitally snap and bite at our neighbor, sometimes our brothers and sisters in Christ, is rewarded as well when we give in. I feel this all the time too. And the crazy thing is that we think we’re crusading, “standing up for the truth” when the truth is usually that we should have stayed out of it from the beginning.
That is why A Way with Words is so necessary for today when 2020 has provided so many fresh disagreements to stew over online. Kindness isn’t rewarded, so we need a reminder of why it is so important and, as Darling points out, it is because God values humans so deeply. When we type out unkind words on our keyboard to that person that we don’t know, we are being unkind to someone made in God’s image. It’s so easy to depersonalize online, but the truth doesn’t change.
“But I am standing up for what’s right! I’m speaking on behalf of people who are made in God’s image!” This may be true, but Darling contends that our motives are often more cathartic:
Are we really working hard on behalf of the unborn, or are we just rage-tweeting against Democrats? Are we really concerned with the children at the border, or are we exercising digital catharsis against Republicans?
When I step back, I realize that my motives are often more in this vein. And I have no doubt that’s true of many others too.
A prominent message that Darling provides in A Way with Words is a simple but difficult one: wait for more information. Darling gives the example of Nick Sandmann, the young man wearing a MAGA hat who appeared to have a disrespectful face-off with an older Native American man at a March for Life rally, but the whole story was more complicated than that. Many people, even many Christians, were quick to pile on without getting the whole story. There are many more examples of both liberals and conservatives doing the same thing. (Why is everything about politics today? It’s getting annoying.)
The internet, again, rewards us for speaking out when a story is in the zeitgeist, when everyone else is talking about it, but Christ-followers should be “quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). Darling writes:
But even though Scripture urges believers to, at times, speak out and to seek justice, it doesn’t ever say that we have to do so immediately. In fact, the Bible seems to counsel the opposite.
We might think we are doing the right thing by speaking against injustice, but if we do this without having all the facts and spread misinformation, we are sinning. Even if we are doing it in favor of a right cause. God, it seems, doesn’t need our fake news to accomplish his work in the world.
What we forget, often, is the Christ-activated virtue of humility. The worst parts of that person on the other side of the internet? They’re in me too. That’s why, as Darling skillfully argues, we must provide the perspective that the world is missing. They believe in justice, they believe in morality, but they are missing one crucial component: Christian forgiveness. Not the conditional, pick-and-choose brand that the world offers. In his most affecting and arresting passage of the book Darling makes this argument:
Andrew Sullivan, an agnostic journalist, nonetheless notices that this phenomenon is “filling the void that Christianity once owned, without any of the wisdom and culture and restraint that Christianity once provided.” Sullivan sees the parallel: “Like early modern Christians, they punish heresy by banishing sinners from society or coercing them to public demonstrations of shame, and provide an avenue for redemption in the form of a thorough public confession of sin.” Dave Zahl smartly says the online shame culture is “Christianity with all of the forgiveness sucked out.”
It turns out that perhaps this secular age isn’t so secular after all. We have progressed, but not beyond our longings for justice. We have not abandoned our notions of sin, judgment, and wrath. There is a hell. It’s called cancel culture and erasure, and we want to send the bad people on the internet there.
And yet what good news we have to offer in the real gospel. Christians possess a better story that accurately sees a world that is deeply broken, full of deep evil that must be avenged. Only we are not, as we’d like to think, on the right side of history, but on the wrong side of God. And the fire and brimstone we want to see everyone else endure is headed for our heads. This is our reality, and yet, this is our hope, for in Jesus we see God’s perfect wrath exercised on a bloody cross and a lonely hill outside Jerusalem. Think of your hottest rage against the most egregious evil and multiply it exponentially. This is the anger of God against sin. But instead of directing it toward sinners, he poured it out on Jesus. Jesus, innocent and full of truth and beauty, was the original scapegoat. Jesus was “made to be sin for us” (2 Cor. 5:21). Jesus was shamed so that our own sins might be forgiven. And God invites to his table those who were his enemies. It is sin and death and injustice, then those are cancelled, and we are invited into God’s favor.
So it’s not that the world is completely wrong. This is what is called general revelation. God gives parts of His truth to everyone. They’re just missing an essential piece of the puzzle that we can provide. As my pastor, Jared Wellman, said in his message yesterday: “Justice without Jesus is injustice.”
This attitude should completely change our online conversations. If the person I’m talking to is made in the image of God, has been given some form of revelation by God, and I have the answer they need to complete the circle (Jesus), why would I speak unkindly that person? It is only a worldview that sees a zero-sum game, an attitude that you either win an argument or you lose it, that takes the route we usually take. That is incompatible with Jesus’s message of hope and salvation.
I pray that Christians will read A Way with Words, put down their swords and take up a plow, cultivating what God has created both online and in-person instead of warring against flesh and blood. It is essential for our gospel witness.
I received a review copy of A Way with Words courtesy of B&H Publishing and NetGalley, but my opinions are my own.

Every now and then I come across a book that makes me think so much that I have to put it down occasionally to ponder.

For instance, how is our attitude towards our local church as opposed to Christian celebrity worship artists, gifted celebrity preachers and podcasters? Now that many of us are worshipping online, have we given priority to our local churches instead of to other more vibrant online church services perhaps?

The author gives biblical guidelines on how a Christian is to handle this and other issues while interacting with social media or the internet in general.

I would have loved it if the author had given a quick summary at the end of every chapter along with a quick list of practical steps to take or questions to ask ourselves.

Nevertheless, this is definitely a book that I plan to buy for my church library and also to promote among the members.

Thought provoking, heart-examining. A must read for every Christian in this social media, Internet world.

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC. This is my honest opinion.

“The truth is, we are not merely engaging theological arguments, we are speaking with actual people.”
– Daniel Darling, A Way with Words

The internet, while one of the most incredibly useful tools now known to man, can also incite the most damage. That's why I appreciated the warnings and advice by Daniel Darling in this book. He helps us understand both the need for and the way to make the internet a better place for believers and unbelievers alike.

He gives tips such as these:

1. BE SLOW TO TWEET

“Even though Scripture urges believers to, at times, speak out and to seek justice, it doesn’t ever say that we have to do so immediately.”

Daniel reminds us that it’s easy to give a knee-jerk reaction when we first hear of the latest tragedy or political scandal, but it might be prudent to think first. Get the facts. Support good journalism. Care about the truth.

2. MAKE LESS CORRECTIONS

“The truth is that we don’t have to correct every stray tweet. We don’t have to ‘but actually’ our aunt’s well-meaning but slightly unclear Facebook post about her mission trip. We can actually sit out a few controversies and the world will be just fine.”

Being critical online is just as harsh as being critical in person. Daniel tells us to remember that the person on the other side of the screen is indeed an actual person, not just an avatar.

3. FORGET THE FAME

“It doesn’t matter if ten or a hundred or a thousand people ‘like’ us online; we are loved by the One who breathed life into us, who formed the universe, and whose assessment is the only one that ultimately matters.”

Daniel suggests we do daily heart work before we engage the world. Then engage our online work as a service to others. Point the world toward Jesus. Use your platform to encourage others and highlight good work you notice being done. Be a “digital Barnabas.”

A Way with Words is full of more practical advice (and motivating reasons) to use the internet for online conversations for good instead of bad. And it gives us each the proper starting point: ourselves.

“If we Christians want the internet to be better, we can start by being the better internet we want to see.”

My thanks to Net Galley and B&H Publishing for the review copy of this book.