This is a mostly dark and gritty account. It’s hard to say whether or not I liked it as it was more of an experience that had ups and downs. Also growing up around guns I could relate to some of the experiences the author was describing but others were so foreign that I had to stop and think through what she was presenting.
This is a book for those wanting to experience scenes that may be foreign but at the same time very difficult to relate to. This is definitely not for the reader that is faint of heart and was best read in small episodes to help with the comprehension of all that is being revealed.

Carry is a lyrical memoir, composed in a series of vignettes that move fluidly across time and place. Toni Jensen recounts her experiences growing up as a Métis woman, mixing personal stories with essays on broader issues in American culture. She returns again and again to gun violence, but also addresses sexual violence, addiction, abuse, racism, misogyny, police brutality, and the historical and cultural trauma imposed on Indigenous people. These are heavy topics, but Jensen’s prose does not bury you under their weight. Rather, she asks you to consider the impact on those who must carry legacies of violence. Carry is a book worth your time and attention.

Undoubtedly one of the best books I will read this year, Carry is at once full of beauty and devastation. Jensen recounts her childhood in Iowa and her nomadic existence as a college professor and writer. Her descriptions of lovely images and scenes – of the land, of wildlife, of her relationship with her sister when they were young – are juxtaposed with her stark essays on mass shootings and the trafficking of Indigenous women near fracking operations.

She focuses on stories rather than statistics, recounting, for example, personal experiences with gun violence as well as narratives of major mass shootings like the Pulse nightclub shooting. Many of her stories are grounded in the places she has lived, and she pays careful attention to the history of the land and the dwellings she calls home. She varies between first-, second-, and third-person perspectives as seamlessly as she does between essays that are story-like versus those that are more straightforward accounts, finding a fitting structure for each section.

This is a book that all Americans should read, period. I encourage you to pick it up with the knowledge that it is a difficult but incredibly worthwhile book. I look forward to reading more of Jensen’s work.

The story told is pretty impressive. But I was not a huge fan of how the book is narrated - in the present tense, even when narrating things that happened in the past. It seemed odd to me, like fiction.

Truly beautiful and poetic collection of essays documenting life as a Native American women in America.

3.5 stars

Chapter Malliumpkin (Autumn) has a bunch of trigger warnings, so I'd check out her review!

Thank you to the publisher for the e-copy!
Carry is a memoir reflecting on the violence/gun violence Tori has seen throughout her life. I especially liked the passages about her time at Standing Rock, during the NODAPL protests. As dark as this was, some of this darkness is necessary. We experience too much as Indigenous people, and sometimes it has to be put on paper.

I love this book! I read a big portion of it twice. Some of it is
hard to read as it speaks the truth. It covers everything that is
wrong with America today.
The book is written in essays, there's a first-person, then a second.
It's very easy to follow along the way.
This book is a keeper! I don't know of another book written about the
events that we have all had to Carry.

Thank you so much Toni Jensen, the publisher, and NetGalley
for the chance to read and review this great book!

At first, I thought it would be difficult for me to give an opinion on this book, not living in America. I've always used the melting pot metaphor (stereotype?) when I taught my students about American culture and civilization, democracy, and so on. This book shakes off such preconceptions, describing it from a totally different angle.
But are the issues Toni Jensen writes about (forms of violence) specific only to America? How many of us live in a society free of racism, sexism, nationalism? (I wish!) How many of us never heard of an acquaintance or a friend of a friend being a victim of domestic violence? (Just two months ago, one my students transferred schools because of that) The topic of violence is relevant, no matter where you are from and I find it surprising that living in the most advanced societies ant times does not make us better human beings,
I enjoyed the way the book is put together (16 different essays), the way the writer tries to keep her distance and her cool in narrating her experiences, the academic register.

Carry is a collection of essays about Toni Jensen’s experiences with many forms of violence, including domestic and gang, while focusing on gun violence and its personal and historical impact.
While it was engaging, I didn’t realize beforehand that it's a series of interconnected essays, which made the timeline disjointed and at times it felt like info-dumping with statistics and dictionary definitions. The essay format made the book lack that feeling of connection I usually find and appreciate in memoir. The writing was powerful at times, especially as Jensen discussed her complicated relationship with her father.
Ultimately, I don’t consider this a memoir but a collection of essays on gun violence with personal side notes; timely and important topics but told with restraint. I would’ve appreciated more of her story than history and statistics.
Thanks to Ballantine Books for offering me an ARC via NetGalley. Carry: A Memoir of Survival on Stolen Land is scheduled for release on September 8, 2020.

ARC was provided by NetGalley and Ballantine Books in exchanged for an honest review.

This review is being published before the release date (September 8th, 2020)

Content/Trigger Warnings: Police brutality, gun violence, violence, homicide, racism, microaggressions, talk of human trafficking, assault, rape, domestic violence, child abuse, animal abuse, harassment, mentions of murder, death, historical and cultural trauma, alcoholism, drug abuse, mentions of PTSD, and so much more!


Wow, this memoir is so, so powerful. Friends, I’m shaken and I can’t put enough emphasis on how important it is for you to practice self-care while reading this memoir. I know I have the content warnings listed above, but there’s literally content warnings for anything and everything you can think of. If I had been in a better head space, I would have finished this memoir a lot faster than the time it took me to actual finish.

Carry: A Memoir of Survival on Stolen Land is a memoir in the form of essays. These essays are a wide range of topics from domestic violence to police brutality and so many more. There’s a large plethora of topics, each one packed with emotions and hardships. You also see many major events that have happened throughout the years like the DAPL protests, the brutal murders of George Floyd, Trayvon Martin, and many others who lost their lives from police brutality. Again, I can’t stress enough how important it is to practice self-care while reading this book. All of these essays are through the author’s own experiences as a Métis woman, as a survivor. Jensen has a way of writing these essays to convey the weight of each topic. Probably the most unique thing throughout this whole book is the emphasis of language. The importance of language and how language has the power to change everything.

“In other words, like the birds, in many ways, I’ve come a long way to see a place much like one I already know—I’ve come a long way to find another version of home.”

I’m usually not someone who reads a lot of memoirs, biographies, autobiographies, etc… Usually due to never really connecting with the book or the things talked about. Plus, it’s not my place to really comment about someone else’s experiences. However, this memoir… I was sobbing and there were many parts of this memoir that I personally connected to because of surviving my own experiences of violence and hardships. The narration is beautiful, it reads very smoothly, and flows with general ease. I think the only issue I had with this book was some of the timeline jumping. There were parts where I had to reread the section to remember where in the timeline we were. So that was my only issue with the memoir. Otherwise, it was really easy to get sucked into this book.

Overall, this was a great read. I truly think if I had been in a better head space, I would have flown through this this memoir. So again, please practice self-care because there’s content and trigger warnings for anything, and everything in this book. If you are in the right head space, I highly recommend picking this up especially if you’re trying to see the world and the events of the world through a different perspective than you own. There’s a lot of raw emotions throughout this book and it’s not an easy read, but one that’s needed.


The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.

Carry is a collection of essays bound together into a memoir but it's so much more. Carry is about carrying the weight of domestic violent. Carrying the weight of gun violence. Carrying the weight of racism, of sexism. Such a timely novel in a voice that needs to be heard.

5 stars

I feel a bit at a loss for words for this review. The author places such a weight on the importance of words and the power of them. I hope I use my power well in this review.

This is a beautiful and terrible book. She tells the story in such a beautiful way. She tells terrible truths about America. These truths are hard to look right at. It is so much easier not to face these truths. But, we must face these truths and we must make change so that the truth about America is less terrible.

Toni explores so many topics in this book and, although the chapters can be viewed as separate essays, they are interconnected. She tells truths about guns, racism, police brutality, abuse, sex trafficking & more. She explores the intersections between these topics. This book is painful because the truth is painful.

Toni is a master writer. She makes reading about these truths fast-paced. She tells us her own story within and around these truths. She makes the terrible truth engaging.

You should read this book.

You may not like this book for one or both of the following reasons:
1. You don't like books that change back and forth between multiple POVs. This book starts in 2nd person but spends most of its time in 1st person. I believe there is third person in there too. I know some people don't like this. The author deploys these point of views very intentionally and impactfully. If you choose not to read this book for that reason you will be missing out.
2. You are not ready for the truth. The truth can hurt. You might not be ready for this hurt. You might want to argue that her truths about guns & racism & sex trafficking & abuse &,&,& are untruths. If you choose not to read this book because you are not ready for the truth you will be missing out on a great book and some good lessons.

This book was very impactful for me & I hope I have done it justice in my review. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC. I may not have read this book otherwise. You don't have to make the mistake I might have made. Read this book.

Thank you to Toni Jensen for the beautiful book & for being brave enough to look truth in the eye.

This book comes out on September 8th, 2020

Also reviewed on my new Instagram account @shanandbooks

A wide-ranging series of essays and point-of-view articles dealing with gun violence experienced by the author. I found the last two chapters on contagion and ghost logic the best. Throughout, the subject matter was 5-star, but I felt some of the chapters dragged and were not as tightly constructed as these.

“This isn’t a story, then, so much about being Indian in America or even being Métis in America. It’s a story about being those things and striving toward whiteness; it’s about the cost of that striving.”

Toni Jenson’s voice is one we need in this country. Her work, Carry: A Memoir of Survival on Stolen Land, brings to the fore an image of America we would rather normalize or ignore. Jensen confronts the language we choose to tell our stories of racism, white adjacency, violence, gender, family, poverty, sex, and how we carry these narratives bodily. There is a dissonance created between the poetic language she writes in and the subject she writes about. The elegant prose pushes up against images of profound injustice. She shows through uncontestable facts, unrelenting repetition, and visceral imagery that language matters, words matter, images matter as we seek to bring to light personal and cultural histories of indigenous people long ignored and denied.

This is the best book I have read this year, and maybe the best one in the past few years. It is relevant, poignant, haunting, and lyrical all at the same time. Thank you to #netgalley & #ballantinebooks for the #ARC. Make sure to preorder #Carry by Toni Jensen!

Carry by Toni Jensen is a stunning collection of thoughts and essays bound together to create a memoir of sorts and a glimpse into the world of a woman that has been immersed and experienced a multitude of sobering experiences: violence and tragedy in such a vast array of situations ( gun violence, racial injustice and violence, domestic violence, amongst others). All of this being presented from the viewpoint of a Native American.

This book is real, raw, difficult to read (however it is a much needed read), and gives the reader a feeling of vulnerability and exposure. I was thoroughly impressed by such a unique and unforgettable presentation.

A must read. 5/5 stars

Thank you NetGalley and Ballantine/Random House Publishing for this ARC and in return I am submitting my unbiased and voluntary review and opinion.

I am posting this review to my GR and Bookbub accounts immediately and will post it to my Amazon and B&N accounts upon publication.

This book comes at an important time in our history. It delves into the intersection of gun violence, the author's ancestry (Native), and contagion theory. However, it is done so very well through stories the author tells regarding her own personal experiences.
I learned quite a bit of interesting information about the Native experience, and in particular the experience of people who are known as métis - half Native peoples.
The book was very well written, interesting and engaging. I didn't think I would finish it in two days but I found myself interested in what else would happen in Toni's life.
She is a writer and professor, working across the country in different capacities to help others learn to write.
The interesting parts of the book to me were the discussion regarding mass shootings and it's close relationship to contagion theory - I.e. that oftentimes mass shootings can be seen as a contagion in themselves. A very interesting time as well to read it since we are going through a viral pandemic at the current point in time. Would recommend to anyone!

Carry: A Memoir on Survival on Stolen Land, by Toni Jensen, is a memoir in essays, on a range of topics but with violence as a common theme. Domestic violence, settler violence; the violence of erasure; the violence of system racism; the violence of classism and white privilege, gun violence, violent crime, drug violence, and police violence. The brutal murder of George Floyd, Trayvon Martin and so many others on the hands of police. All through her own experience as a Métis, as a survivor.

Possibly the most unique characteristic of this work is her emphasis on language, and her dissection of definitions. Language matters. How we represent our ideas and our reality matters. It has the power to change everything; and if there is one thing the reader will take with him/her/they at the end of the book, it might as well be the power of words.

The collection is beautifully narrated, and has a smooth flow to it, though one essay seems divorced from the preceding one, at the end, it all comes together to give us a picture of the America we live in and how it got to be the way it is. How we turned out to be so comfortable with the myth of individualism (even at the expense of public health during a pandemic), un-fact-checked conservatism; to divorcing domestic violence with other forms of violence, like mass shootings and crime to the expense of our women and young; to thinking of Native Americans as expendable, as disappearing. It is painful and sad and real. It is the America we don’t want to see, but we know it to be true. We hear it in family conversations over Thanksgiving, murmurs at work over diversity hires, and in traffic stop encounters with police.

I haven’t read a more current essay collection ever. Toni Jensen somehow managed to tackle all issues: domestic violence, sexual trafficking, policy brutality; classism, colorism and white privilege; gun violence, deprivation of land belonging to Native Americans; our uncomfortable relationship with racism and bigotry; mental health, poverty, crime, drug abuse and alcoholism; caring for our elders, how we tell our own history, fracking and so many more. I read more than 100 books a year, and I already know this will be my favorite book of 2020.