This is a brilliant book. I was hesitant at first as sometimes books like this one can criticise without being constructive, but Welcher really offers a way forward, rooted in theology and a desire to be faithful to God. A must read for christians who grew up within the purity culture, but also those wanting a new way to look at life long purity.

Since Dannah Gresh, Josh Harris, and Wendy Shalit's books about purity I have not read anything about this topic. I think this kind of book is disappearing, they are very countercultural. Sad, I know. Why sad? because even when I know and understand some people felt wronged or pushed by a toxic legalistic culture I do not support, I have to admit there is another generation growing up without a purity option, this topic is banned, left behind and fear about hurting someone is now the way to hurt, again for young and teens giving away purity for shallow and empty promises.

This topic must be expressed, explained, and talked about openly, with sincerity and grace. I do not support bullies or people who treat others like trash because they did not think about purity and lived licentious sexual lives, but I do believe we need to know the facts so we can decide and that won't happen if we don't know different perspectives and options while growing up. I think Rachel tried to explain that not anything goes without consequences. Sexual prosperity gospel can also make many empty promises to the ones who live pure lives. Purity is not merely physical. There is sexual legalism, and not so much emphasis in our minds, our thoughts.

I'm very concerned about how this generation blames everything and everyone for their own mistakes or consequences of their decisions. That is a shame, it is painful. Everything you read, you judge, think about it and decide what are you going to implement as an action in your life. I invite you to read and think critically about these topics, freedom, purity, shame, how to approach people who have wronged themselves or others. Even when I think this may be a sensitive topic for many, probably some may be brave enough to go through the discussion questions at the end of each chapter. I think parents, youth, and teen leaders, or counselors must read this kind of content.

Well-researched, thoughtful, compassionate and kind... Talking Back to Purity Culture takes on a topic that can be divisive, too often heaps on shame, and is sure to have readers coming to the book from many backgrounds. And yet somehow Welcher balances what she personally believes with the stories of others, as well as history and research.

The first half of the book is extremely research driven in that Welcher pulls from MANY sources, referencing one after another after another. At a certain point, I wondered when we would ever get to HER words. There is a shift as the book goes on, though, and I give her credit for doing due diligence to set the stage. She's talking back, but first the reader must know what (and sometimes who) she is responding to.

One big plus: Every chapter ends with discussion questions.

I'll be honest, I skip over almost ever "discussion questions" section in books because they're bland, boring, or simply don't lead the reader anywhere. All too often, they're an easy fill-in-the-blank answer. A book with a chapter about joy? Question: How can you have joy today? (etc) Welcher's questions are not this way at all and if you're reading through with a group, having her questions as a guide will easily be worth the price of the book itself.

In Talking Back to Purity Culture, Rachel Welcher gives a hindsight analysis of what purity culture taught and how it affected the young people who grew up in it. She expertly describes the issues with purity culture and how it damaged an entire generation's views about marriage and sex. In purity culture, sex was offered as a reward for being chaste until marriage. As the young people to whom this was taught began to reach adulthood, the issues with the teaching began to manifest. Virginal young men and women who were promised amazing sex if they waited until marriage found out that chastity is not in fact a guarantee of a perfect sex life and marriage. The warped expectations of chastity, marriage, and sex proved to do just as much damage as premarital sex. Welcher also addresses those left behind by the movement such as the long time single, the same sex attracted, the abused, and the divorced. I was very encouraged by her words both personally and as a sign of change in the church as a whole. Purity culture was so damaging to so many people, but a hard swing in the opposite direction toward sexual promiscuity is also not the answer. Jesus never meant for chastity to be oppressive, but sanctifying. Rachel Welcher's book is an excellent resource to those still struggling with the negative effects of purity culture on their lives. Highly recommended.

This book examines and untangles the fruit of the purity culture movement while consistently pointing readers back to the gospel and a biblical understanding of sexuality. Welcher acknowledges the good intentions of 'purity culture' teachings while also critically engaging with the ways that such teachings led to damage, pain, shame and downright bad theology. Incredibly well-written and well-researched.

I've already done the work of deconstructing a lot of the shame and pain of purity culture in my own life, but Rachel's work helped put even clearer words to some of my own experiences. I think it was very wise of her to use the books and conferences that shaped the movement as her source material to interrogate.

I do not agree with all of Welcher's assertions about biblical sexual ethics or her treatment of LGBTQ+ people, but still found tons of valuable insight here.
Sex is a GOOD thing that was created by God and we must refuse to either demonize or idolize it. I hope that this book encourages open and honest conversations about sex, sexual sins, and embracing our God-given sexuality. For anyone who grew up immersed in purity culture, this is a must read.

An interesting and valuable take on the Purity Culture. Lots of insight and help to understand the phenomenon and see it’s far reaching and lasting effects.

As someone who came up in the evangelical church during the height of purity culture, Rachel's book was a breath of fresh air. She delicately dissected many of the influential books that shaped this time and worked through the dangerous ways they affected that culture. It was crazy to think back to where I was when I read some of those books and where I am now. Most helpful were chapters that reframed this principle as having value and importance while not needing to be the idol that it was held up to be by many in that culture. If you are looking to unpack some of your associations with purity culture but also value the importance of it, this is a helpful read.

Rachel Joy Welcher is by far not the first person to criticize how (especially American) churches approach purity, sexuality and relationships. But while the church is being rightfully criticized by many, this is often paired with demands to abandon teachings about purity and Biblical sexuality altogether and replace it with a radically sex-positive, "anything goes" approach. And while I think that we can learn a lot about sexuality from science and should not reject new findings and theories just because they are secular, Welcher does an amazing job at showing what shame-free, Christ-focused teaching about sexuality can look like.

Some of the aspects that she addresses in this book are how purity teachings can turn into a sexual prosperity gospel as well as promote victim-blaming and treat purity as something purely physical. She illustrates how sexual legalism can lead to problematic attitudes in the church and hinder people to seek help and forgiveness for their sexual sin. Finally, she shows a way forward without leaving the Biblical foundation and how to pass on Christian values without turning them into idols.

Her claims about the effects of purity culture are based both on many interviews with people that grew up with it and and an amazing critical discussion of many popular books on purity and sexuality such as And the Bride Wore White or I Kissed Dating Goodbye. She points out both the good things as well as where the authors, even if not intended that way, taught potentially harmful things. The author is also well versed in Scripture and uses it really well to support her suggestions. Another great point is that she refers to criticism of purity cultures by other authors and Christian public figures and critically discusses that as well.

At the end of each chapter, there are discussion questions for either individual reflection or a group study.

This book is for anyone, parents, teachers, youth leaders, pastors, counselors etc., that wants to teach about purity. Next to Sheila Wray-Gregoire's blog, this is the best resource on Christian sexuality that I have encountered so far.

A huge thanks to the publisher for providing a free review copy via Netgalley!