I received this book from NetGalley a long time ago so can't remember if I requested it or if it was sent to me. I had hoped it would be more along the lines of "Boundaries" by Melissa Urban - and it was at parts - but as an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) I was so disturbed by the descriptions of abuse and murder in the early chapters, I almost didn't make it to the sections describing more garden variety "everyday toxic" people and how to deal with them. The book was well written with plenty of examples and anecdotes - I was just on edge after being a bit triggered at the beginning - no fault of the author!

Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience.

This is a book that focuses on people that are highly sensitive or considered empathetic, but really anyone that deals with a toxic person can benefit from this book. You get some interesting and perhaps important insight. This world may seem overwhelming with people that are acting narcissistic or controlling. This is really not a new type of personality but seems to be something we see often today. Dealing with personality conflicts is definitely something everyone deals with and often daily, but at least from time to time. Having some ideas on dealing with, creating boundaries, or coping with it is found in this book.

Thank you so much to net galley and the publisher for sending me a copy of this book. Seriously this book is amazing. Thank you

Though, I've never considered myself to be highly sensitive, the tactics on this book are surely useful in dealing with otherwise unsavory individuals.

This book is jam packed with easy to read and understand knowledge, helpful strategies and advise and management ideas and I urge anyone who thinks they're in a toxic relationship, is in one or has left one to read this book!

I thought this book was especially helpful in that it gave an overview of the five main types of toxic people:

1. Garden variety boundary steppers
2. Crazymakers & Attention seekers
3. Emotional vampires
4. Narcissists
5. Sociopaths & psychopaths (associated with antisocial personality disorder types)

It talks about the levels of these toxic types where the first three are considered more “tame” and might have the capacity for empathy and change; however, the last two are considered the MOST dangerous types as they are difficult to change and require a different set of skills to safely tackle interactions with them.

It also goes on to give evidence based skills grounded in dialectical behavioral therapy & cognitive behavioral therapy to help recognize and shut down manipulations from all these different types, including the more dangerous ones.

It goes over common types of manipulation tactics so that you can recognize and be aware of them. They are as follows:

- Gaslighting
- Stonewalling
- Projection
- Covert put downs
- Love bombing

This is a really helpful guide not only for HSPs but for anyone looking to be safer in dealing with toxic people.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

I am definitely a HSP and have encountered many people in my life who are either toxic or manipulative. I did find this book very valuable and it is something I have recommended to others in my life who have been through similar situations. It is worth a read.

As a therapist, and someone who identifies as an HSP, this book was great! I use it for myself, in relearning boundaries and what is actually toxic TO ME and the necessary steps to ensure I can spot toxic tendencies. I have referred this book to. many therapy clients as well, who have also benefited! Looking forward to more books on the struggles that HSP individuals face.

Such a NEEDED book. I've recommended this to so many people in my life. It's too bad we need these books but it was such a helpful one for me.

I didn't know that I need this book not until I finished reading it. The contents of the books is utterly amazing. I have a problems with dealing with toxic people and Shahida Arabi's words mark my life and instantly know how can I improve dealing it and also improving myself. Thank you so much for this book.

eARC provided by netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Discaimer: my eARC was a formatting nightmare and the book was nearly impossible to read as a result so I did mostly skim. My rating has nothing to do with the formatting because it's an eARC but it's possible the formatting affected what i got out of this book.

Ok so I shouldn't have requested this book, honestly. I thought it would be more psychology based and less . . . not, I guess. But as a psychology grad, I'm not buying most of what this book is selling. I think it oversimplifies manipulative behavior and tbh I'm not buying the glorification of "highly sensitive persons" either. As someone who the author would probably describe as a HSP, I don't have magical insight into other people's emotions. I'm as often wrong as I am right at guessing what other people are feeling. If you're highly empathetic you're reacting to what YOU perceive as someone else's emotions, and nobody is going to be 100% right. None of us are mind readers. We may be better or worse at picking up social cues (I'm definitely worse) but that doesn't mean any of us have this cool hidden power.

It's totally possible everyone read this book from a different point of view and got something useful out of it, or perceived things differently than I did and that's cool. I'm only reviewing it to let you know that if you don't buy into it that's definitely valid and I think a lot of people in the psychology field would agree with that.

I'm going with 2 stars but if you got something useful out of this I'm glad.

As a therapist, I found this book incredibly valuable. I have since recommended it to several clients.
There are many actionable steps to effectively deal with toxic people. I will be referring to it for quite some time.

Shahida Arabi is a fantastic author. This book was relatable and written in a way that it opened my understanding to dealing with toxic people. Sometimes being a highly sensitive person is draining but with books like this, it can be a little easier.

WOW. If you’re an empath, or are overcoming the effects of toxic relationships, or both - you need to read this stat. I needed this book like ten years ago.

If you’ve ever wondered why you seem to be a magnet for toxic, abusive relationships....
If you’re struggling to break completely from a toxic relationship and can’t figure out why you keep getting drawn back to them...
If you’re healing from an abusive relationship...
If you’re trying to learn how not to repeat mistakes in past partner choosing....
If you’ve been called “so sensitive” your whole life because you have strong emotional responses to things (criticisms, affirmations, music, art, etc)...
If you aren’t even sure if you’re an empath/highly sensitive...
If you aren’t sure that what you’re experiencing is even abuse or not...

Read. This. Book.

I feel like I understand not only myself better after reading this, but It also helped me identify the abusive behaviors I experienced in my marriage. Now I have a tool to help me identify that behavior (and more that I thankfully did not experience but are still covered in this book) in the future. After years of doubting myself, thinking I was just being judgemental or too sensitive, and now seeing that I was actually just experiencing my intuition, I am thrilled to have read this. A huge thank you to NetGalley for giving me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I think this will be a great resource to have available to students. Introducing the idea of toxic people and how one might deal with them is a great place to start. This book gives people the language they need (especially if they are sensitive) to be able to deal with toxic people and move forward.

I really love this book. It was so helpful for me and I'm so thankful I got to read it early. Thanks so much netgalley. You da real MVP of life and America.

So good if your main problem right now is narcissists, every variety. In this era, we're seeing and feeling so many soul-sucking types of people, and this book can be a wonderful shield against absorbing their awful energy. When there's someone in your life who's taking from your life, hurting your connections and acting like a little, innocent flower, you really do need a smart book of keys to steer that toxicity out of your orbit. I found this book to offer a wide range of insights, and it's one you'll want to keep on your shelf (not hand along,) because another narcissist or bully is going to show up any minute, and you'll want this author by your side. It's one thing to understand where the bully is coming from; it's another to work on how to immunize yourself *and your past hurts from other bullies* to give yourself a chance at peace.

Published by New Harbinger Publications on October 1, 2020
The author, Shahida Arabi
I was a little nervous about reviewing this because I come from a long line of toxic relationships and Ive read many books and many years of therapy to try to sort a lot of it out.. Ive spent a lot of time in support groups, where we rehash things to the reliving stage. So I was a little weary of starting this. Just being honest here.

About the book, the HSP was explained well and gave a lot of examples of what traits and methods came with it. I learned a lot from the check lists, journal reflections , and exercises. These caused me to reflect on my part while having meaningful and or toxic relationships.

Overall, I found this extremely helpful and I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to learn more about this. I'm definitely going to purchase this to reference back to my blind spots when it comes to relationships. Lots of great advice and strategies for setting healthy boundaries.

Thank you Netgalley and the Publisher for this ARC, in exchange for my honest opinion.

I received an advance reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers.

The Highly sensitive persons guide to dealing with toxic people is a fantastic book to help anyone with contact or a relationship with a narcissistic person, break free and learn to deal with and resolve issues too whether this person is a coworker, partner, parent or friend.

As a person who has suffered in a toxic relationship at the hands of a narcissist, this book made me understand and look at responses and resolvements differently. I really wish I'd have had this book years ago when I was in the place I was. Luckily I realised it wasn't me it was him and upon research his traits all led to narcissistic personality disorder.
This book teaches you how to manage, deal with, respond and escape a narcissist safely and helps you to put strategies and boundaries into place.
I loved the names given to the types of toxic personalities - from Garden Variety to Malignant which is where sociopath and psychopaths come in.
This book is jam packed with easy to read and understand knowledge, helpful strategies and advise and management ideas and I urge anyone who thinks they're in a toxic relationship, is in one or has left one to read this book!