Cover Image: Friendshipping

Friendshipping

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Member Reviews

Sometimes you need a book to tell you how friendships should work. Whether it's where boundaries should be drawn, how to have difficult conversations, and how to break up with a friend. This is a valuable tool for any life stage.
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Regardless of age, making friends can be both scary and intimidating, and while this book is aimed at older audiences, it is still a nice tool that offers advice on ways to make friends and make you realize you are not alone in this. Author's Trin Garritano and Jenn Bane's advice is realistic and one someone can easily put into practice, while peppering dashes of humor throughout. The graphics balance the advice out fairly well and work to enhance their points, rather than take away from them. 

The book is a fantastic extension of the podcast, which readers who enjoyed this book and are craving more can tune into. In an age where technology has stunted the ways in which we connect with people in-person, this book helps take away some of those anxieties and reminds us how to build those lasting and meaningful relationships.
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I got this on Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!

I really enjoyed this guide, and how specific it is when it comes to the examples used, and also how broad AND specific it is about adulthood and its struggles! I could really relate to a lot of the things and found some helpful advice. 
My only critique is that I wish it had even more of those "ask us" boxes with cases from people, and that some parts are a bit too long! (when it could be shorter easily)
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This is one of those excellent books that takes a big topic and handles it WELL. It's not easy for adults to make friends, especially quality friends who connect authentically, give as well as take, keep you in mind, and make you feel better about people in general. This book came from the authors' podcast, so I thought it might be a lot of rehashing of their old material, but no, this is fantastically fresh material that is this good because the authors clearly put a lot of time and effort into structuring such relatable and comforting segments for it. It's one of those books that makes you hopeful for good connections, more comfortable in the pursuit, easily paced in building those friendships, and you can first see that it's possible to get a sense of belonging. I'll hang onto this one and read it again later. It's one of those feel-good books that delivers more than promised.
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When I tell you everyone needs to read this book, I mean EVERYONE. It was so helpful, and helped ease many fears in my anxious brain. It gives helpful scripts for certain situations, gives advice, and I honestly feel so much better after reading it. I know so many people who suffer through bad friendships because they feel like they can't seem to find any other friends (myself included). I will definitely be rereading over and over again.
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Do you remember back in the day when you were in kindergarten, how easy it was to make friends? You would play with someone and presto, they wanted to know when they can play with you again. Whatever happened to those days? Why can't life be that simplistic and making friends be that uncomplicated? I mean we have so many social media outlets to let you "reach out and touch someone." Texting, Twitter, Facebook messenger, or just plain Facebook, Tinder, Snapchat, and too many more to name.

Fast forward to being an adult who's working 40 hours per week and has a huge family. Who has time for making meaningful relationships, much less start one? How do I even begin meeting anyone if I barely have enough time to do any of my interests other than how to succeed at work and family life? I've gone from care-free to chaotic, constantly busy, awkward, easily babbling (especially when consuming one too many glasses of wine to unwind), and sometimes, riddled with anxiety. 

Thankfully, Jenn Bane comes to the rescue! She illustrates do this, tries that, and gives you wonderful insight into what the other person might be going through. In other words, breathe and know, you are not alone! If you still feel you need more learning on this topic, she even has a podcast.

She reviews how to meet new people, how to strike up a conversation, what topics you can engage in without coming off-putting (if you have a creepy moment, own it and laugh it off), and of course, be yourself. What a concept! She shows you if you invest in the time to find your interest, you will meet someone or a group of people. One of them you are bound to connect with. If it feels forced, ease off and move on. She even covers how to be a better friend. How many times have I relied on texting once in a blue moon to a friend? Texting, "ok, I understand" without much follow-up isn't going to show you are invested in that relationship. Instead of being a "cactus friend" call them up and really listen. Repeat what they are saying just to let them know you are listening but don't sound like a recorder. 

New Year will start up some new habits. After all, with the pandemic and COVID-19 and all the self quarantining, I need all the help I can get for just renewing my friendships with people I adore and making new ones when the pandemic lifts.

I thank NetGalley for this ARC. It took a while because I was exceptionally busy, even during the quarantine.
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Friendships are tricky to navigate at any age. I loved this modern perspective of today's social scene. This book is packed with relatable stories and practical advice from pronoun etiquette to ghosting and toxic relationships. It reads like a wise, old friend who regularly reminds you to take care of yourself and go easy to others. We are all human, after all.
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This is based on the podcast of the same name and the style echoes that bright, breezy tone. This is geared toward young adults just launching on their own and it will be most useful for them, although there are some tips that will be helpful to a reader of any age.
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This book tries to help adults make friends - what a concept! It seems to be aimed at the 25-35-year-olds, but there is a lot of advice and many suggestions that people of any age could use. There are even handy dandy scripts to help one know what to say at all stages of friendship, including dismantling the ones that don't work any more. So useful for people like me, who might have anxiety and get tongue-tied.

The authors seem very honest and approachable. There are side bars with questions from listeners (the authors have a Friendshipping podcast) and the replies. Lots of anecdotes peppered throughout to let the reader know that they have company when it comes to navigating friendships.

I've already recommended it to friends and even joined an online social group - progress!

My thanks to Workman Books and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
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An excellent primer on how to do friendship in our modern age of technology and anxiety. This podcast turned book will have something for everyone who is trying to work out their friendship problems.
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A cute, funny read. There were some practical tips and good advice throughout.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC, in exchange for an honest review.
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I have listened to Jenn and Trin’s Friendshipping podcast for a couple of years now. I adore it, mostly for their amusing and endearing banter, but also for their compassionate takes on listener questions about doing friendship—I enjoy their emphasis on this idea that friendship is a verb, because I agree. So when I heard they had turned their podcast into a self-help book, I pre-ordered the hell out of it—and I was also fortunate enough to get to read it early thanks to Workman and NetGalley.

Friendshipping: The Art of Finding Friends, Being Friends, and Keeping Friends is a very straightforward book, divided into three parts per its subtitle. From its tone and overall language to its art design (by Jean Wei), the target audience is millennials—I suspect older generations will find Jenn and Trin’s brand of humour too youthful, whereas Gen Z and younger will look at them as “oldies.” This is a book for people of an age that is used to moving for work and school, to navigating the Internet but still holding it slightly at arm’s length, to embracing nerdiness as something that we still think is uncool (even though it is now mainstream). I’m not saying younger or older people wouldn’t benefit from this book, but it knows its niche and goes for it, which is probably for the best.

Indeed, I think this book will appeal to people who are looking for friends or friendship advice but who are skeptical of more polished, adult-looking self-help books. The chapters here are very conversational, with plenty of sidebars with practical tips. This isn’t a book I would recommend reading from start to finish—rather, you can dip into it for reference as and when you need help with various situations.

I love the inclusive nature of the book. There is a section dedicated to pronouns, for instance. They talk about healthy boundaries in friendships. They acknowledge that friendships are difficult work, sometimes, and that more often than not the issues in a friendship are the result of both parties, not just one. They talk about what to do if you are the toxic friend.

If I personally didn’t get that much out of this book on my initial read, it’s only because—and I am totally bragging here—I am very satisfied with my friendships at this point in my life. Indeed, for about the past 3 years, I feel like I have finally cultivated the types of healthy friendships and acquaintances an adult should have in her life: I have found close friends who support me and who let me support them; I am beginning to get more comfortable at making new acquaintances and expanding my circle ever so slightly. So I am lucky enough to report that I am happy, at least in that sense, and at least for now.

But friendship is something you do, not something you have indefinitely. I am sure I will face rocky moments of indecision, and when I do, this will be a good book to have on my shelf. Jenn and Trin’s wisdom comes from the fact that they don’t pretend to know it all—you will find practical advice in this book, tips for starting difficult conversations, that kind of thing, yes, but the majority of this book boils down to a single thesis: be kind to your friends and potential friends. And although I can’t remember if they say it in the book, perhaps the single best thing I have learned from Jenn and Trin’s podcast is that there is a difference between being nice and being kind. Sometimes in our attempts to be nice, to not ruffle feathers or make people upset, we do no kindness through dissembly. Sometimes telling an uncomfortable truth is kinder. Kindness is not always easy to figure out, just like friendship isn’t always easy to put into practice.

I think the best way you can decide if this book is for you is to listen to an episode of their podcast. The book is the podcast, just curated and then frozen in carbonite; the podcast is the book on a weekly release schedule with more discussion of snails and Animal Crossing. As I said at the beginning, I don’t think this book is for everyone, and that is ok and probably for the best—self-help books should target a niche. For some people, though, I suspect this book will give useful succour and guidance, and that pleases me.
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For a book about as universal a topic as making friends, this book makes way too many liberal political statements. There's a completely random and off-topic "we need more gun control laws in the US" statement in the first pages. When they define what friendships are, they act like they're taking the most broad, baseline approach, but they're really not. They're essentially saying that friendship means you love, respect, and support the other person and everything about them. Which is what friendship means for some people, but it's far from universal. For example, I don't want friends who are nothing but yes-men. I want friends who will hold me accountable and help me become a better person. Also, their definition means that if someone's too different than you, it's impossible for you to build meaningful friendships with them, so don't even try. Are you an atheist? No making friends with religious people. Are you a conservative Christian? It's impossible for you to be friends with a gay person. This incredibly restrictive definition of friendship is part of what's wrong with the world today, this idea that instead of getting to know people and caring about people *even if we disagree fundamentally with them on some aspect of their/our lives*, we have to make friends only with those who we completely agree with about everything (and presumably shun those who are in any way different from us).
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Great reference book for anyone who wants to up their friendship game! I love Jenn and Trin's podcast and I am so excited to share this book with people. Can't wait to listen to it as an audiobook as well!
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Great advice on friendships with equally great graphics. Friendships are more important than ever during these challenging times. Friendshipping has hints on finding, re-evaluating, maintaining, and even ending relationships with friends. The tone is not patronizing or lecturing., which makes the book fun and informative.
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This book is full of practical, straight-forward advice on making and keeping friends as an adult (or ditching them if need be). The book works quite well as a straight read through, but might work best as a reference source (i.e., looking up specific sections that pertain to your situation). Let's be honest, making friends as an adult is super awkward, so any book that can help with that-yay!
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Jenn and Trin are the creators of a podcast called Friendshipping that answers readers' questions about to do friendship. Don't worry if you haven't listened to the podcast, no prior knowledge is needed! The issues are tackled with a modern view and a gentle sensitivity that I appreciated. Diversity is acknowledged as well, in a thoughtful manner. Hopefully, the formatting for the kindle version will be fixed by the release date, some of the side notes and digressions were difficult to keep track of. A thoroughly enjoyable read, with advice I hope to put into practice.
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This is a great book for people who are looking to make more friends and figure out how to have better friendships with current friends. I found the sections on making friends more helpful, as 2020 has been a hard year for making friends and branching out. While some of the tips aren't really actionable right now, I'm sure they will be when life goes back to normal.
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This book is incredibly straight-forward; perhaps to the point of serving as a reference for those that are neurodivergent or otherwise struggle with social skills.  I particularly enjoyed the later segments focusing on how to navigate common tricky friendship predicaments (e.g., financial loans, joint business endeavors, romantic entanglements).  The authors include scripts for guiding your discussion of difficult/awkward/uncomfortable topics; these were really useful and cemented their advice in practical and applicable ways.  Also, I'd like to mention that this book was written in a very inclusive way, especially when it comes to sexual orientation and gender identity; so props for that!

Thank you NetGalley, Workman Publishing Company, and Jenn Bane and Trim Garritano for the ARC!
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I received an electronic ARC from Workman Publishing Company through NetGalley.
Practical information on all aspects of friendship. Bane and Garritano offer common sense advice for those who are struggling to find time to establish and maintain relationships. Timely book as so many feeling isolated. This book can be read straight through or by selected portions.  It makes a great primer or refresher read with workable suggestions. Their writing style works and the examples and scenarios they share are realistic. This is one to own and refer to as needed.
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