I want to begin this review by pointing out that I, personally, am in no place to really comment on the accuracy of many of the themes in this book. I'm not transgender or gay or queer and so I can never fully understand anyone in any position similar to that of Dean in this book.
The main character of this book is 17-year-old Dean, seen by most as a female. But Dean knows he's not 'Deanna', and when he's cast as a non-traditional Romeo in a school production, he gets to experience being male properly for the first time. He doesn't want to go back to living a life of pretend; but how will he tell his girlfriend that he's not a lesbian, he's a guy? Not to mention the huge ordeal of coming out to his parents...
This book follows Dean through a real rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that many of us may find hard to even comprehend. It's a story of love and loss, of growth, of self-acceptance, of strength and empowerment. Dean is bullied, his once-perfect plans are tossed in the air, and everything seems so uncertain. Yet he navigates his way through this tremendously difficult time and builds some valuable relationships along the way. Most importantly, though, he begins to understand the importance of accepting himself.
Overall, the book was a really enjoyable read. There was a lot of emotion, and I really felt connected to Dean as a character despite not necessarily relating to him/his circumstances. I can't say whether this is a particularly good representation of LGBTQ+ themes, but I felt it at least raised awareness of some important topics. A strong 4.5 stars from me.

I am disappointed with this book. I was expecting one thing and received another. It had potential but it was not well written.

whenever i relate to trans books i have a really hard time talking about my feelings for them, and this is one of them. no, my experiences aren't exactly like dean's or the trans characters in the trans support group, but they're close enough that this is on my list of "queer books that are ingrained in my queer identity" and that's all i can say for now.

I am giving this book 2.5 stars, not because it is a bad book, but because it's a basic one and 2.5 for me is the rating for average things.

If I had read this book years ago, I would have given it 5 stars, no doubt. But, sadly (or fortunately, it depends on the point of view) I have read my fair share of YA contemporaries with LGBT+ characters, so I did not really enjoy this one. The whole plot is super basic, I have read it 100 times already. The main problem I had is that aside from the struggles of the main character -- which are extremely relevant and important nonetheless, I want to underline this -- there was nothing new. The play/theatre subplot? Done. The high school setting? Done. The support group? Done. Maybe I have read too many contemporaries by now, but it takes more than a plot like this to move me. Earlier this year I have read The Passing Playbook, which also deals with the struggles of a trans teen, but it had more to its plot than that, so that kept me reading. With this book, instead, I felt nothing interesting was happening. I wanna say again that I think the rep is awesome (however, I am not a trans boy, so I encourage you to look for own voices reviews) and it's always extremely nice to see trans characters, trans stories and trans voices being published. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has not read a lot of LGBT+ contemporaries and is just now starting to dip their toes into the genre.

The main character was quite likeable, even if he didn't have many distinctive traits. It wasn't that Dean was a stereotypical MC, it was more that he didn't have much depth to him. However, seeing as this is a debut novel, I will be reading more by this author, because with Dean and the side characters I saw the potential of growth in their writing.

There's this subgenre of queer YA that has trans MCs who are super into theatre and I'm living for it. There's magic in theatre and I love seeing so many queer people find their truest selves through this form of artistic expression.

Anyway, I'm done raving about how much I love musicals and theatre, let's chat about this book because it was so good. It gave me all the feels and the way it's written it transports you into Dean's head and what he's feeling very viscerally. You'll get emotional with him and angry for him and happy for him etc.

This is a story about a trans kid discovering exactly who they are and fumbling a little at trying to get all the pieces to fit without breaking any. Unfortunately, as life has it, there are some broken pieces and messy stories and that just made it more realistic.

I've seen quite a few people comment on how the Dean's girlfriend is villainized and I kinda agree and kind disagree. I wholeheartedly believe that sexuality can be fluid and that sometimes people get so caught up in the rigidity of labels that they maybe miss out on a great love. I also think this book could've spent a bit of time discussing the differences in romantic and sexual and platonic loves. Zoey and Dean could've still had a loving relationship if either of them had communicated better and if they had the knowledge about different types of attraction etc.

Anyway, I suppose that's a bit spoilery but I tried to keep it vagueish. Just expand your horizons about what a relationship can look like and say fuck it to amatonormativity once a while. That'd be fun to see. Anyhow, I did thoroughly enjoy this one and Ronnie was a delight. The narration was perfect and as a whole, I think this book is gonna change people's lives and I hope it finds the hands of those who need it.

As a thank, you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced readers copy of “Between Perfect and Real” by Ray Stoeve. In their YA debut, Stoeve explores identity, gender and coming out as Dean Foster navigates his journey as a trans male. Dean is a character whom you are rooting for throughout the novel for their personality is warm, easy-going, and relatable. The novel addresses transitions in the life of a senior in high school and touches on unique circumstances that LGBT youth may relate to. Stoeve explores nuances in which Dean is exploring their gender and sexual identity such as through gender expression, developing community, and coming out not only once but many times in their life. The novel was enjoyable to read as these themes interest me and held my attention for it captured a moment in time in which many can relate to and become open-minded to how others' experiences could be and are. I give this book a high rating of four out of five stars on Goodreads and highly recommend it.

"Between Perfect and Real" is the perfect book for real teens. As an trans reader myself, every page was heartbreaking, inspiring, and restored my faith in humanity a little more than the last - despite the tears, I would reread this gem in a heartbeat!

Although the targeted audience of "Between Perfect and Real" is trans, nonbinary, and GNC teenagers like Dean who can and will learn to accept themselves, overcome gender dysphoria, and techniques to live their authentic life without feeling vulnerable to others, it is reprehensible to say that cisgender and/or heterosexual members of our society would not learn a lifetime of wisdom from this book too. I wish my friends and teachers had this as a resource when I was a teen - deadnaming, misgendering, and disrespectful treatment of non-heterosexual sexualities were all the primary focus of the book, much like teenage life in the 21st century. You will not regret reading this book.

That said, "Between Perfect and Real" should only be picked up by readers able to discriminate the mentioned danger and degradation to expose themes throughout the book from proper injustice against LGBTQIA+ people. Some chapters, particularly those where lesbians were called transphobic and non-Black characters were pretending they knew everything about police brutality, were sensitive reads. I am impressed that Stoeve discussed the fact that binding with duct tape exists, but readers must be responsible enough to know that this is very dangerous to their health. I am thrilled that Stoeve had Zoe recognize Dean as a boy by breaking up with him because she is a lesbian, but readers must realize that the lesbophobic slurs used against her were unacceptable. Overall, the themes of "Between Perfect and Real" were life-changing, but if they are not perceived correctly, can be very hurtful.

OVERALL: BPAR is an incredible book. The trans rep was so relatable for me, and it covered a lot of important topics. The writing style wasn’t my favorite, and I had some issues, but overall I really enjoyed it. I’m so glad I was able to read this book and I’m excited for Ray Stoeve’s next one!
PLOT: Dean’s growth as a character was so heartwarming to read. I was rooting for him through the entire book and I was very satisfied with the way the book ended.
THEMES: Something I really enjoyed about this book was the discussion of how Dean’s trans identity affected his relationship with Zoe. It’s a difficult topic to discuss but Stoeve did it gracefully. There’s also a strong theme of queer family and community, and it was so sweet. However, there is one scene I didn’t like: when Dean goes to a queer group, he’s too nervous to say his pronouns are he/him, so Jade says he hasn’t picked pronouns (which is what he told her). Then Isaac, the group leader, says “‘No problem […] you have options. He? She? They?’” This positions those as the only options, and it’s not okay to pressure someone into picking pronouns. Some people don’t use pronouns, and some people just aren’t ready yet.
WRITING: I didn’t really like the writing much. Stoeve relied on run-on sentences as well as long sentences that were technically grammatically correct but read as incomplete. This is fully a personal preference though, and even though I didn’t love the writing it didn’t hinder my enjoyment of the book too much.
CHARACTERS: I have SO MUCH love for all of the characters. Dean, our flawed, trying-his-best trans main character. Ronnie was the absolute best friend, and I love him for that. And while I hate Zoe, she was a complex, well-developed character. I do wish that Allison’s behavior was addressed more head-on, and it was very strange that it wasn’t mentioned that she was Japanese until Chapter 15. Her Japanese identity felt like an afterthought.

Really striking novel, for YA but will be enjoyed by adults too.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for letting me access an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback.

What a moving, authentic story about Dean, a trans boy who struggles to come out to his family and friends. While playing "nontraditional Romeo" and having people use male pronouns to refer to his character, he realizes that he wants people to see him that way off the stage as well. I thought the author did a great job of portraying what the coming out process is like and how it can impact relationships, both positively and negatively. I cannot personally relate to Dean in this story, but I felt like his perspective opened my eyes to things that my fellow humans go through. High school can be hard for anyone, but add this situation into the mix?! Very impressed with this as a debut novel.

Between Perfect and Real by Ray Stoeve is a much-needed addition to LGBTQ+ young-adult literature, and because it is honest and not over-the-top with its plot, as a contemporary novel, it is so appealing, believable, compelling, and realistic. I believe Between Perfect and Real will connect with many high school students, especially high school seniors who are already in the midst of facing a number of adversities while also trying to figure out who they are and who they want/need to be. Sometimes, we have changes that we want/need to make within our lives, in order to discover who we are meant to be. Dean is experiencing that coming-of-age while also discovering his true, authentic self. Thankfully, Dean is able to experience this at a younger age than most, and he also finds an amazing support system. Unfortunately, not all people have had that same opportunity, yet… However, Dean’s story will help many young adults who need to see and experience those examples, so they, too, can make positive changes for themselves and their own lives. While I would have loved to see more of a focus on Dean’s relationship with his parents, including more characterization of all of the people within Dean’s life, including the characters who had a positive influence and/or a negative influence on him, in many ways, all in all, Between Perfect and Real was exactly what it needed to be at this moment in time. I look forward to seeing Ray Stoeve’s future published works!

Between Perfect and Real is a very hard book for me to review. On the one hand, it was a really heartfelt coming out story starring a trans youth, but on the other hand this experience hit a bit close to home while also feeling slightly jarring to me. It's got a lot going for it, and it seems like the kind of book that would be extremely impactful and special to some, but while I definitely liked it, it's tricky for me to express my exact feelings in a way that makes sense.

Dean is a trans teen who comes out and starts transitioning after getting the role of Romeo in a school performance, which is something that I feel really resonates with a lot of teens who have questioned their gender identity while in theatre. The story mostly follows his exploration of the future and place in the world, showcasing how trans teens have much the same experiences as cis teens, but also very different ones. Dean's experience was very different to mine though, which is natural because every trans person has a different experience and it's not a universal thing, so seeing parts of it that were intensely relatable but other that felt completely unlike anything for me made this an interesting read.

Between Perfect and Real is also paced really well and keeping the story feeling level and flowing. Contemporary can sometimes be tricky in terms of pacing, but I thought the different plot points and what happened in between them worked really well. This particular point in teenagerhood, with applications and school and everything else going on can be really hectic, and the author did a very good job of conveying that particular feeling without making the book itself an overwhelming read.

One of my favourite parts of this book was Dean's friends, both at school and outside of it. He makes new friends who understand his experiences from a much needed perspective, but his established friends are still important to him and offer support as good friends. This was really nice to see, because the balance between the two felt very realistic and like he had a really good group of people there for him, and that was a really nice feeling for this particular story. The friendships in general were really well developed, and there were a number of moments that were very heartwarming stemming from these friendships.

The author does a truly outstanding job of navigating gender identity and sexuality throughout the book. There are a multitude of experiences out there, and this is really well shown with both Dean and the friends that Dean has and makes throughout. I thought one of the best of these elements was showing how even when some experiences overlap between members of the LGBTQ community, there are still differences of perspective to consider. I think this was really specifically highlighted by Dean's relationship with Zoe, who is a lesbian, and while this wasn't necessarily handled completely ideally in terms of how Zoe was written compared to some of the others, it did show how every member of the community is an individual and not just a part of a homogenous group.

This book is the kind of book that is perfect for some people, but it wasn't quite that for me. I really did like it because here are some really good parts, especially the realistic way the teenage characters are depicted as very human and not in control of everything yet, and I did like the characters a lot. It was just a very personal book, and that makes my opinion a complicated one. If you're looking for a book that encapsulates one version of the trans experience

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC!

I wanted to enjoy this book so much but it took me, personally, a while to push through. The plot was fairly slow moving and not very complex in favor of more internal conflict and relationship analyzation which isn’t bad, just not my cup of tea.

What this book did very well however was the insight that the reader gains on the different LGBTQ+ characters, their thoughts, feelings, and stories. I appreciate that the main character had realistic struggles with their coming out so that it was believable and relatable to so many going through similar situations.

Heart wrenching story about finding your voice!

Dean has such a strong and amazing voice which was so real, it drew me in and made me hooked. It was so easy to connect & trust him instantly. It was a perfect coming of age story and would be helpful for anyone going through a similar issue. I would Highly recommend it.

This was such a full-of-feeling book. I was so quickly invested in Dean's journey - the way he came into himself and his identity and grew in confidence throughout the book, his relationships with friends, family and his girlfriend. It was not always an easy read, since Dean faces a lot of prejudice and misunderstanding along the way, and he has to come to terms with the fact that being true to himself mean accepting there were changes in his life and relationships and those changes wouldn't always be pleasant ones. But overall, the book felt hopeful and honest, and there were moments of happiness and joy to balance against the harder ones. The plotline relating to the school play worked really well alongside the 'real life' parts. I also appreciated that the ending didn't wrap everything in a nice neat bow - that wouldn't have fit the story - though it left Dean in a much stronger, more positive place than where he began, even if it's clear he's still going to face some more challenges as he moves on.

This is a beautiful and emotional novel, it's the story of Dean and his journey of self-discovery, confidence and coming out at high school as a trans guy. I loved the joyful gender euphoria moments within the story, such as when Dean was cast as Romeo in the school play. I love theatre so there was no doubt in my mind that I would adore Between Perfect and Real. Stoeve has also included some very important discussions within the novel including how members of the LGBTQ+ community can be transphobic. A brilliant novel.

One of my favourite books of 2021. Easily. Dean’s voice is powerful and compelling. You can’t help but fall in love. The characters are so incredibly diverse. I can’t wait to read more from this author!

Between Perfect and Real is a heartwarming tale of finding yourself and acceptance. Following Dean as he discovers his true identity while playing Romeo in his school's 'nonconventional' rendition of Romeo and Juliet, the book offers a diverse cast though it does, at times, feel as though the author has tried to create as many characters as possible and does not quite know how to fit them all in.

There is more than a few uncomfortable moments, both for the characters and the readers, but ultimately, the title is one which reflects positively the real struggle of identity and self-acceptance. The voice of Dean comes across well however some parts or mentions of his transition feel a little rushed.

Despite this, we are presented with a realistic novel which has moments which can reduce the reader to tears at the drop of a hat.

"You know what's not fair? Mom telling me I should dress differently my whole life. Me and my friends worrying about some jerk attacking us when we're just out living our lives. Me having to be a girl because no one ever told me there were other options."

This book follows Dean, who is already questioning their gender, after they are cast as Romeo in the school play.

I've read other books with trans characters but this was my first experience of meeting a character as they're still discovering their identity.
I loved being able to go along with Dean for the journey of discovery, self acceptance & coming out. I also found it very informative & helpful you are told about different types of binders, hormones & surgery options through Dean's research.

In the first chapter Dean describes themselves as white which I found refreshing. Often it is *assumed* that a character is white unless stated otherwise. And although the main character is white & it's a book about being trans, there are also multiple occasions where the author points out how different people's experience can be if they're black or POC. Dean's 2 best friends are Ronnie, a gay black guy, and Allison, a bisexual Japanese girl, they also have a skater friend called Jared who is white & straight. The fact that the world treats POC, especially Black people, differently in the US is also mentioned in reference to the Police.

At the beginning of the book Dean is in a lesbian relationship with Zoe & they have plans to go to college in NYC together.

This book deals with some heavy & sensitive issues regarding gender & sexuality within Zoe & Dean's relationship.
It also shows what it's like to not have supportive parents & what that can mean for trans people, especially trans people of colour.
We also witness how Dean is the victim of some intense bullying at school once he come out as trans.

The friendships in this book are amazing & I feel that a big focus for this book is found family & how important friendships are in the queer community.

It's a heavy book but so wonderful and I 100% recommend.

CW: Outing, deadnaming, transphobia, homophobia, violence, racism

Between Perfect and Real is a beautifully written story about a trans boy accepting and embracing his identity and deciding what being trans means for him.

Dean has known he’s trans for a while and the focus of the story is on him coming out at school and to his friends and family.

Dean friendly, kind, a great actor, and has a kind of innocent optimism that allows him hope for the best outcome and see the best in others. When he’s cast as Romeo in the school play, he’s overjoyed because he finally gets to play a male role that feels right to him.

This moment of gender euphoria is followed by others throughout the novel, when he tries on Romeo’s blue suit and finds his first binder that fits just as he wants it to.

But the book doesn’t shy away from showing the violence and transphobia that trans people go are subjected to when coming out.

Dean faces transphobic comments and hate speech from other students at his school, as well as violence and vandalism of his possessions. People misgender and deadname him both intentionally and unintentionally and the author resolutely challenges this behavior at every turn, showing how thoughtless and damaging it is for Dean.

There are some incredibly raw and sad moments in the story, when Dean feels like he’ll never be accepted by certain people in his life and when he has to make hard choices for the sake of his own happiness and mental wellbeing, and the narrative is so well written that the crushing hopelessness he feels transfers straight off the page and to us.

I’ll never experience what Dean is going through because I’m not trans, but Ray Stoeve’s prose brings Dean’s experiences and emotions into sharp focus in a way that makes his sadness and frustration feel personal.

The importance of trans people’s safety is also a big theme in the novel. There are moments when Dean feels unsafe at school due to threats and bullying from other students and there’s a particularly tense scene when he’s walking through the city with friends and a man stares at them.

Dean mentions how disgusted the man looked and his friend Jade comments that some people want to kill them just for being trans. This lays bare the fact that trans people’s very existence is a threat to transphobic people and emphasises the importance of having a close group of friends and people that can be trusted.

And Dean does find his own close group in the form of friends from the trans youth group he attends. Despite being a little shy and initially not knowing how to approach them, he finds solace in their company as a found family. I loved the scenes where they hang out together and he’s free to be completely himself without fear of bullying or prejudice.

This story beautifully illustrates the fact that there’s no one way of being trans. The possibilities are endless, as Dean realises when he’s choosing a binder, deciding on pronouns, considering the clothing he wants to wear, and deciding on how he wants to identify when he goes to college.

I started listening to this on audio and finished it in physical format and both formats were equally as good. The narrator for the audiobook really brought the characters to life, but the hardback also made the quality of the writing shine through, so I’d heartily recommend either version if you’re considering picking up Between Perfect and Real.

Content warnings for transphobia, misgendering, deadnaming and homophobia (all challenged on page), threats of violence, discussions of gender dysphoria.