I had to DNF this at 30% because the representation of an eating disorder was too triggering. There has been a lot of fiction lately exploring eating disorders, but I wish this one had had a stronger content warning.

Milk Fed has a lot to unpack. There's concerns over mother/daughter relationships, body dysmorphia and eating disorders, sexuality, and spirituality. Rachel and Miriam are polar opposites in pretty much every single way. When Rachel starts a cleanse from her mother, she's able to see the world from a different perspective. She lets go of a lot of her insecurities. I liked that this was a coming of age story of sorts, albeit a very erotic one. What Rachel truly seeks is unconditional love, which she's never felt from anyone her life. No one truly knows her and no one has loved her the way she longs for. Broder writes with rich symbolism in a way that's shocking yet relatable. I definitely want to go pick up both The Pisces and So Sad Today by Broder.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a free copy in exchange for my honest review.

Trigger warning: eating disorder

Rachel is a 24-year-old non-religious Jewish woman living in LA. She works at a talent management company and sometimes does stand-up, but her main activity is calorie restriction. The opening chapters of this novel dive deep into Rachel's consumption patterns, her exact math of how many calories she eats and how many she burns on the elliptical at night. Rachel's therapist recommends she take a 90 day "detox" from her mom, who taught her calorie restriction as a child and is constantly calling and texting her from New Jersey. Days later, Rachel's patterns are further interrupted when the man who sells her her daily cup of frozen yogurt is replaced by his sister Miriam, who refuses to stick to Rachel's calorie regimens.

Miriam comes from an Orthodox Jewish family and is the catalyst for a sexual, chaotic coming-of-age story all about Rachel uncovering the ties between her relationship with her mother, her eating disorder, her religion and her sexuality. At times it felt like a car crash; I was cringing but also could not look away.

***eArc provided by NetGalley & Scribner in exchange for an honest review***

Having not yet read Melissa Broder's first novel, The Pieces, but being an avid fan of her twitter account So Sad Today I knew that this book was going to make me absolutely feel. And that it does. Despite not 100% fitting into Rachel's shoes, I fit close enough that the deep and resonate sadness filled me up in a way I wasn't expecting. (It's like we wear the same size, but my feet are wide and her's simply are not.)

Rachel, a mid-20s Jewish woman living in Los Angeles, knows religion. She's found God not at a synagogue, but with calorie counting and dieting. After years of psychological and food-based abuse by her mother, her therapist gives her some new food for thought: cut your mother out. 90 days. Just see how it goes.

And goes it certainly does. Milk Fed is a story of love and food, and how they get so tied together in our society. It's erotic, thought provoking, and plays with identity in easy, but powerful, ways. Broder has done a really tremendous job, and I can't wait to see what comes next.

I’ve seen the world “repulsive realism” in a few reviews and I feel like that phrase is applicable to “Milk Fed” I felt like I was reading the diary of a young woman who is on the cusp of figuring out who she is and losing control all at the same time. A funny, sexual, raw, and a compulsive read. I haven’t read Broder’s other novel “The Pisces” but now I can’t wait to get my hands on it.

I went into MILK FED (Scribner) blind. I hadn't read Melissa Broder's previous novel, THE PISCES which just about the whole world went crazy for. It was the cover of MILK FED that caught my eye. So imagine being thrilled and shocked when delving in, and finding it easily one of the most filthy, hilarious, embarrassing (I'm glad I was reading it on my Kindle) and and insightful stories on how our parents ruin us.

Rachel is a 24 year-old lapsed Jew, who counts calories like its a religion. By day she slogs at a talent agency, before heading off to the gym where she sweats on the elliptical machine to no where and finishes the day performing comic sets at the nightclub, "This Show Sucks."

"Do you want to be chubby or do you want to get boyfriends?"

Rachel's mother has been on her about weight and getting a boyfriend, since she was born and her therapist, Dr. Mahjoub suggests a communication detox for ninety-days. Rachel's mother freaks out, whining about being accused of being a "bad mother," but Rachel embraces the challenge.

Rachel meets Miriam, an Orthodox Jew whose family owns, Yo!Good!, the yogurt shop she regularly goes to. She's shocked by Miriam's comfort in her zaftig body, but slowly falls in love with her layers, clove cigarette habit and desire to get drunk at every opportunity. She hooks up with Miriam and together she begins eating food for pleasure and their relationship goes from "platonic amusement to amorous hysteria." Rachel finds enjoyment in Miriam's family's traditions, faith and loving relationship with her mother.

MILK FED is a journey of self-discovery, the desire of food, sex, family and god. There's a sense of magical realism to the story. Broder takes every opportunity to push the story to the edge of impossibility.

Warning: explicit sex and triggers for anyone who may have eating disorders.

I believe this is called a Buldungsroman. A coming-of-age. But really, it’s an adult coming-of-age. Those years in your 20s when you’re figuring things out, maybe insecure, working through your parental baggage, haphazardly dating, testing the waters at work, etc. Now that I have read both “Milkfed” and “The Pisces,” Melissa Broder seems to specialize in female narrators growing up even once they’re grown, and especially learning about themselves through sex. There is a lot of sex going on in both of her novels.

“Milkfed” uses intimacy (between characters and within the mind) to examine body image, repressed sexuality, family trauma, isolation, and navigating strict religious beliefs. I won’t lie to you and say this was an easy read. The first ~10 chapters where we (the reader) are getting inside the head of a calorie-obsessed Rachel could be very triggering, but as Rachel begins to let go of her control over food, the narrative also frees itself to explore the relationships in Rachel’s life. Although we never really meet Rachel’s mother, she is an ever present character, and Rachel arguably searches for a substitute mother throughout the novel, coming full circle in the end.

I finished this book and had to spend a lot of time thinking about the themes to really see beyond some of the shocking scenes. Melissa Broder is doing really unique things in contemporary literature and I hope everyone has a chance to appreciate her works, although I think they require a strong stomach.

Milk Fed’s cover is just a glorious, illustrated boob, that could also be an aerial view of an ice cream sundae with a cherry on top. Both would be appropriate for Melissa Broder’s newest novel which grapples with weight and body image, mother and daughterhood, queer relationships, God, and frozen yogurt with equal sincerity. The mind behind the So Sad Today Twitter account and the very horny novel The Pisces, Broder writes bodies as if they are a feast. Milk Fed is an absolutely luscious novel—though one that I cannot in good faith recommend without mentioning its oft mother-centric erotica.

I included this in my preview of winter and spring titles for Book & Film Globe: https://bookandfilmglobe.com/fiction/seven-books-to-look-forward-to-in-2021/

Thanks to Scribner and NetGalley for the ARC.

Rachel's been struggling for years and now she's backed herself into a rigid ritualistic way of eating and exercising. She's working with a therapist who has her put her overbearing mother (who mercifully lives across the country) on a break. And then, one day, someone new is working in shop where she buys a frozen yogurt every day. Miriam, the large and well loved daughter of an Orthodox Jewish family slowly but surely burns into Rachel's brain- and Rachel slowly starts to put aside all her rituals. This is a fascinating portrait of a young woman who has never been happy with her body (or herself) who also in love with her physical and emotional opposite. Know that there are some spicy spots. Some of the descriptions of food are equally lovingly written. Anyone who has or who has had food issues will recognize Rachel's calorie counting, rationalizations, and binges- so sympathetic to her. Miriam's conflict rings true as well. It's fascinating to watch Rachel's growth. Thanks to the publisher for the ARC. This is a great read. Broder clearly cares very much about these women and you will as well.

I'm not sure how I felt about this book when I finished it so I had to take some time to ruminate. It's a Coming of Age novel, if you could call 24-year-old Rachel a teen or tween! It's" weirdly wonderful" if that makes any sense! But I guess we all need coming-of-age moments at times in our lives as we re-assess and ponder next steps as we grow older. Rachel has been obsessively counting calories for as long as she remembers (seriously, this made me want to go make her, and me, a milkshake after the first few pages)! Her therapist encourages her to do a "detox" with her controlling mother which she agrees to. It is only then that she meets Miriam at the yogurt shop she patronizes where she only allows herself a very small serving of non-fat, non-sugar yogurt a day. But Miriam convinces her to try a concoction that she has invented and Rachel is in love--both with the yogurt and Miriam who is so completely different than she is! It's hilarious and quirky, passionate and graphic; this is a novel that's not for everyone, but if you like edgy, lovely disturbing and thought-provoking images of a woman shedding her past and finding herself than this is one you will love!

Thank you to Scribner and NetGalley for a free e-copy of Milk Fed in exchange for an honest review.

If you know me, you know how much I loved The Pisces. So the minute I heard Melissa Broder had a new book coming out, it went to the top of my list.

Milk Fed is the story of a white, Jewish woman, Rachel, who strictly counts calories, works for an entertainment management company, and has a toxic relationship with her mother. Her daily trips to Yo!Good, a yogurt shop, lead to her becoming intertwined with The Schewebel family.

The things I loved about The Pisces definitely carry through to Milk Fed. There are several parts where I laughed out loud, there are super hot sex scenes (real and imagined) between two women, and Broder writes repulsive realism so very well. Ultimately, Milk Fed is not about the romantic relationships that Rachel pursues, but her journey to finding her authentic self.

I, however, didn't love Milk Fed. I really didn't connect with the characters, and in some ways, they felt like characturers instead of real people. The short chapters made it compulsively readable, but it felt jarring as a reader to move to another chapter every few pages. I also felt like the beginning started super strong but by the end, it was harder to want to pick MIlk Fed back up.

I'm still very happy I read this book, and I will continue to pick up anything Melissa Broder writes. One final note, there are several elements of this book that might be triggering - especially Rachel's eating disorder.

This was my first Broder novel, and it take me a little to get used to her writing style; however, I really enjoyed it once I understood it. I thought the themes of this book could be triggering, and I did find myself feeling anxious reading so much about her obsessions with her day and her very disordered eating habits. However, this obsessiveness kind of flowed through the main character in all aspects of her life and especially in her thoughts and finding love. I think this book would be a great book club pick as there are so many themes to discuss. Relationships with mothers always seem to bring up good discussion topics! Thank you for the ARC. I read this quickly!

Adding in (a few days after finishing) that this book is still on my mind days later, so I'm changing my stars. I think Melissa Broder may be a genius.

I expected to really like this book, but I was disappointed in it. A novel about a weight obsessed Jewish girl with mother problems and sexual identity issues should have been very engaging for me, Milk Fed never did it for me.

I liked the start of the book, but as it went on, there was nothing I could relate to. I found so much of it repetitive and boring.

So, despite my high hopes for a fun read, I found myself unable to enjoy the book.

Thank you Netgalley for this ARC.

‘Milk Fed’ won’t be a book for everyone... but I absolutely adored it. I read it in one sitting - not stopping to pee or make tea.

The dialogue was fresh, in your face bold, smart & savvy. Given that Rachel, our protagonist had an eating disorder, I shouldn’t have liked this book at all.... (our daughter was hospitalized five times battling anorexic) ....
so I tend to stay away from the topic today. ( our daughter has been recovered for many years)....

But I loved ‘Milk Fed’.... I laughed ... enjoyed the very crisp writing ...
and well just about everything about it.

I’m sure readers will find fault - roll their eyes- say ‘ooo’ to themselves in parts ... but not me.
Well...it’s raining here today in California-so I may skip my morning walk to sit on our spinnaker stationary bike...
and I ‘might’ say ‘ooo’ when I sit on the bike today ...
given a ‘bike’ description in
Melissa Broder’s book....
or... I’ll probably just giggle to
myself.

Rachel had just been chosen by a low-trafficked entertainment blog as one of 25 young female comics to watch.
When she texted her mother, she wrote, “how did they find you?”

Rachel wasn’t expecting fanfare from her mother, but she thought she would at least be a little bit proud.
Rachel‘s therapist said she should expect nothing.
“It was a phrase you’d associate with a person who didn’t need anything from anyone; a closed system, an automaton. Rachel wanted to be that person.
So, Rachel sent her mother a text saying....
“Hi. I will not be reachable for the next 90 days. Thank you”.
I wondered to myself how big that was going to go over.
Rachel’s mother wrote back immediately: “What are you talking about?”
“Sorry, I replied. Unavailable”.
Then she called.
“I’m detoxing, I said”.
“What do you mean, detoxing?”
“From our relationship, I said it’s emotionally unsafe”.
“What do you mean, emotionally unsafe?”

“This is the thing about boundaries: they made sense in therapy, but when you tried to implement them in the real world, people had no idea what you were talking about”.

From beginning her college career as a theater major at the University of Wisconsin, Rachel, ( not liking theater people), she began her open mic stand up comedy.
After school she moved to Los Angeles where her first job was waitressing at a vegan diner. She learned that she was a terrible waitress and she didn’t have the energy to stand on your feet all day.

Rachel had food rituals to keep herself skinny.
She was also on day 3 of ‘mom-detoxification’.... feeling rather proud of herself.....
ha,
texting her mom in her head…hearing her mothers invisible text words back.

A favorite line:
“I wondered whether there was a deadline for when a person had to finally stop blaming her mother for her own thoughts”.

My goodness- there were so many little things I loved about this book ..
Here’s a rundown of the puzzle pieces ....( you’ll have to put the puzzle pieces together yourself if you read the book);

...Yo!Good frozen yogurt....
...Orthodox boy....
...Zaftig girl...
...Looking both Jewish and not Jewish at the same time....
...Dr. Mahjoub
...Sugar-free, fat free...
...Hunger deprived....
...sprinkles...
...Permission to eat everything in a day...(24 hours of limitless consumption)...
...Savory to break up the other the sweets...
...Mom...
...Dad...
...Jewish voodoo doll/monster: a golem...
...bisexual, lesbian... preferred masturbation to having sex with men...
...”This Show Sucks”...
Ofer...
Ana...
...Miriam Schwebel...
...Jace ( Jason Blagojevich)
... sexual fantasies...
...hand holding...
...sex...
... change chewing nicotine gum...
...a party with drunk Chassidic men...
...food... lots of variety of food...
...Twizzlers are kosher...
...Shabbos dinner...
... girlfriends...
... squirrels and chipmunks...
...gym workouts...
...movies...
...weight gain...
...kissing...
...therapy...
...Rachel...
...love

“Rachel‘s mother ate shrimp, ignored Shabbat and hadn’t been in a synagogue since Rachele‘s bat mitzvah. She referred to Orthodox Jews as:
“Oy, those people” ....

“Oy, this book”.....
Outlandishly-enjoyable!!!

Thank you Netgalley, Scriber, and Melissa Broder ( you rock and I’ll read your other books I missed)

This was my first Melissa Broder read. I was very captivated by Melissa’s writing style which captures very realistic emotions and feelings of her characters and language was very simple and not convoluted. I have not read her highly raved book, ‘Pisces’ to compare to, but I really liked her story telling!

This book is about 24 year old Rachel, who is very obsessed with not gaining weight, to the extent that her daily intake of food is same. Rachel is also the type of person who is looking to find love and acceptance in the society. Her monologues were amazingly smooth and funny...I found the story very witty and humorous!! There were some parts of the story about her obsession with a certain person that I did not enjoy at all. But overall this was a quick, fun, humorous read for me!!

Thank you #netgalley,, #scribner & #melissabroder for a gifted copy in exchange of my honest review!

Relationships form the main theme of this novel. I've not read anything by Melissa Broder before. While her writing is excellent, the story moved outside of my comfort zone. To its credit, I read the entire novel, but more for obligation than for pleasure. Sometimes a book and its reader do not mesh. This was one of those for me.

📕If you count your calories like you are counting sheep when you are trying to sleep, you are gonna have a veryyy bad time. Not that deficiency will affect your physical health, it’s gonna hit your mental health. You are going to look for ways to get you out of the vicious cycle of extreme calorie intake control and 3 hours of cycling unconsciously
-
📗Rachel hit that point once she stopped communicating with all her enablers, which made her prone to let go of her crazy diet but also opened her eyes to her loneliness and unanswered desires. Food replaced sex, then sex replaced food. Then they started to complement each other. She started to dream of losing herself in bodies that she avoided turning into and these dreams turned into reality when Miriam entered the picture
-
📘At the end, religion, faith, sex, food, self realization and traumas rolled into one to remind Rachel who she was and what was missing in her life. Funny, little raw (but good raw) and bit of heartbreaking tale of self discovery! Thanks @scribner and @netgalley for the ARC!

This review will be released on my instagram account on 2/2/2021

I loved The Pisces, and this book very much carries on with Broder's incisive writing style and disconcerting tone, so I was probably destined to love this one. We have here another difficult woman, but facing a completely different set of challenges, and unfortunately, no mermen.

I found Broder's protagonist in this story more sympathetic and less delusioned about her circumstances. What is so interesting is that while she appears absolutely stalwart in her routines and hyper-controlled eating habits, you can see the healthier ideas from the women around her seeping in as Rachel begins to see herself as someone worthy of her own love.

In an attempt to read outside of my comfort zone, I decided to check out Milk Fed. I had never read anything by Melissa Broder so I was unsure as to what I was going to find. Overall, I am glad that I read this book, even if it is not an instant favorite for me. This was a challenging read, partly because the topics covered were challenging and partly because it was just a tad too Freudian for my taste. I felt that this novel was the strongest when it dealt with Rachel’s eating disorder and her sexuality. The very raw representation of body dysmorphia and the struggles that these individuals face was expertly demonstrated across the pages of this book. Additionally, I really enjoyed the sassy and quirky writing style of the novel, even if at times the writing was crude but necessary. I even enjoyed the hints of innocence in the romance with Miriam; however, I struggled a bit with the way that Rachel sometimes objectified people and at times even ventured into fetishizing Miriam for her obesity. While I think this might have been meant as a commentary on the constant objectification of women that is widely accepted in our society, it made me uncomfortable. Granted, I may have to sit with these feelings a bit more to explore the source of the discomfort. Ultimately, I think my struggle boiled down to my inability to connect with the protagonist. She was on a path to growth and self-discovery that was beautiful and necessary but at times she made decisions that trampled others with little regard for their wishes and feelings and this caused me to feel at odds with her. Overall, I think this is a solid story (3.5 stars) and I do recommend people read it. The story touches on a lot of important topics like mental health, healthy boundaries, sexuality, and religion…and I think a lot of people can benefit from reading more stories with flawed characters even if they don’t walk away loving them.

*I would like to thank Netgalley and the publishers for a free copy of Milk Fed, which I received for free in return for an honest review.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Scribner for gifting me a digital ARC of the latest novel by Melissa Broder. 3 stars with lots of trigger warnings about eating disorders.

Rachel is a young, lapsed Jew with an eating disorder who constantly seeks out mother figures to fill a void. From an early age, Rachel's mother promoted calorie counting and thinness as a goal. Rachel's therapist suggests a 90-day detox from communicating with her mother in order to help her heal. At her favorite frozen yogurt shop, Rachel meets Miriam, an Orthodox Jew who loves to eat and loves to feed people, including Rachel. Rachel loves who she becomes when she is with Miriam, throwing calorie counting aside and embracing a new relationship with food and her body. The two enter into a secret relationship together because Miriam's family would disown her otherwise.

I will preface this review by stating that I'm sure I'm not the target audience for this book. There were parts of this book I loved - Rachel is very relatable to so many women who count calories eaten and expended, who tie their weight to their self-esteem. I loved seeing the progression of Rachel, growing into a healthy relationship with food and her body as well as in her relationships with those around her. What I didn't love so much were the repetitive dream sequences and very erotic sex scenes.