Cover Image: Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?

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Member Reviews

This was an interesting look at parenting middle schoolers during the age of Instagram and Snapchat. West does an excellent job sharing the trials and tribulations of parenting teens, especially the challenges of constant monitoring and the exhaustion that comes with protecting your children online. As a former school teacher, I can see the struggles of technology + young people playing out in real life! This novel felt very realistic and would be a great read for moms/educators. I enjoyed the alternating perspectives of this story!

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Here is another one from my NetGalley backlist. This one is filled with misbehaving kids and their even worse-behaved mothers. There was a 50/50 chance that this one could either annoy me or have me in incredulous disbelief. Luckily for everyone, it went the way of incredulous disbelief. Full of all the perils of raising kids in the social media age, I couldn't put this one down and devoured it in one sitting. Are We There Yet by Kathleen West is just filled with the drama surrounding the kids that just draws in their parents and shows how a lot of us view our children as extensions of ourselves, and sometimes, that isn't a good thing at all.

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Whoa! All I have to say about this book is whoa! You know I love family drama stories and this one is full of it. Alice is a suburban mom who feels like she’s hitting her stride personally and professionally, when her family starts unraveling. Her mother has a whopper of a secret and her middle school son is having social media driven problems at school and with friends. Alice is spiraling through all of this trying to keep her head above water. The social media aspect scared the pants off me as a mother, but I really enjoyed the book. Also, my kids may never get phones or social media accounts, never ever

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I am but a simple man, you give me moms trying to be there for their children while dealing with personal issues and their jobs? I'm here for it. You give me kids being young and reckless on the internet? I am eating it up. So while the content of the book was something that I vibed with, there was something about the execution that felt a little lacking for me, something that just pulled me back from giving this a four star read.

I do think that having Ted's situation being the first domino in an unexpected chain reaction was pretty smart, I liked how that one character was able to really expose this larger plot happening in this friend group and the lives of everyone else.

At times the narrative did feel a little insular, the scope felt a little tight more for plot convenience than anything else. There were also certain elements of Alice's relationship with her own mother that I wish had played out differently or the nuance and texture of those scenes had been massaged a little more to give something that felt more consistently satisfying.

Ultimately though id id have a good time. I enjoyed the book about as much as I thought I would after having refreshed my memory as to what the book was going to be about. It's one that I would definitely recommend if someone was in the market for this kind of book.

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Title: Are We There Yet?

Author: Kathleen West

Publisher: Berkley

Format: e-book

Published on: March 2021

I was offered a copy of the e-book by the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

For seven years, Meredith, Alice and Nadia met for their power walks and Starbucks coffee to discuss their kids and life. Now that the kids were a little older, there was a lot to talk about. There was the obscene Porta Potty drawing that was getting a lot of attention throughout the neighborhood. Nadia had her son, Donovan, to worry about. His third grade teacher believed he had behavior problems. Alice’s daughter’s teacher was concerned about her academic skills and her son, Teddy, is having a feud with Tane Lagerhead at school. Meredith later learns that her daughter Sadie’s science test grades are dropping and she has a secret snapchat account that’s way too mature in content. He pulled Tane’s pants down in the auditorium. Then there’s Evelyn Brown, Alice’s mother. She’s got a secret that has yet to be revealed. Alice has no idea that she has an older sister.

But Alice’s son, Teddy, beats them all with his latest bad behavior. Call it karma, but Teddy quickly learns what it feels like to go from bully to be made fun of.

The triangle of pain and embarrassment that follows Teddy’s pants-pulling situation magnifies with Sadie helping tell a few embarrassing situations about Teddy to empower Tane. This leads to Teddy being emotionally hurt. He has to see a therapist to end his bad behavior. Then Sadie gets in trouble with a fake Instagram account and for helping Tane. The children’s actions fracture their mothers’ friendships, many may not be able to be repaired.

This is only the beginning of what the mothers have to deal with along with their jobs. It is closer to reality for what a lot of American mothers are handling at this very moment, along with worrying about COVID, and all it disrupted.

I thought “Are We There Yet?” was well written. The stress the mothers experienced had me reaching for tea to calm down. The book got me thinking how quickly things can get out of control because of jealousy. How friendships can be destroyed. Alice had to come to terms with not only her children’s issues, but also her mother’s secret, which she finally reveals. There is some character growth for Alice and her kids, but it is a work in progress.

About the Author:

Kathleen West is a veteran middle and high-school teacher. She graduated with a degree in English from Macalester College and holds a Master’s degree in literacy education from the University of Minnesota. She lives in Minneapolis with her family. Minor Dramas & Other Catastrophes is her first novel.

four out of five suspensions

Denise Fleischer

gottawritenetwork.wordpress.com

May 21, 2022

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A multiple points of view story of middle school teens and their mothers. A drama-filled story about teens, mothers, and relationships.

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Do you ever feel like everyone else has it more together than you? Are We There Yet tells the story of a group of mothers caught up in the never ending pursuit of balance between work, motherhood, marriage, and friendship. I laughed, I empathized, and ultimately I loved seeing the journey of these flawed but relatable women.

I really loved Kathleen West’s last book so I was excited to read Are We There Yet! Similar to her previous novel, West takes a sharp, witty, and ultimately thought-provoking look at the so-called “perfect” mothers and the way a “scandal” can ostracize the parent and the child from their community. One thing that differed in this book was the central mother (there are alternating narrators, but I’d consider Alice to be the main character of the book) started out already feeling very rootable. Alice’s biggest flaw is that she tries to do everything and realizes she has missed some of the small but important things her kids need.

But when an incident between her son, another child, and her best friend’s daughter escalates, Alice soon finds herself on the outs. Suddenly she is a parent of one of the “bad kids” and she feels shame and loneliness as she tries to navigate out of the situation. Alice quickly learns what its like to be on the other side of the judgment she used to place on other parents.

Meanwhile, Alice’s complicated but content relationship with her mother is rocked when her mother tells Alice a secret she has been keeping from her throughout Alice’s entire life. While Alice’s husband is traveling for a big work case, and Alice’s boss is increasingly pushing her out at work due to Alice’s unpredictable schedule with her children, Alice finds herself wondering how her life could have possibly gone so far off track.

There are characters in this book that I never felt fully redeemed themselves, characters in this book who I loved from page one, and characters who grew on me as I read their stories. This is a book full of all the messy imperfect parts of life, and what happens when you realize that the path you are on isn’t the one you thought you wanted, but it might be the one you needed.
Funny, heart-warming, and cathartic—don’t skip this book!

Thank you to Berkley Publishing for my copy. Opinions are my own.

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In the end, I liked this book a lot. There were times along the way where I felt it was excessively long so I'd decide to skim, but within a page or two I'd find that I would slow down to a regular pace because the writing was that good and engaging. My favorite parts concerned the relationships between Evelyn and her adoptive daughter and main character, Alice, and between Evelyn and her newly found birth daughter, Julienne, and the relationships between Alice, Julienne, and their families. Most of the rest of the book was about the trouble that adolescents and teenagers can get themselves into, relatively innocently in some cases, and how the parents deal with that and with their relationships with other parents, and a lot of it rang true; I wanted to recommend it to friends to whom it might seem all too familiar. All in all, a nice change from other books I've been reading and one that I'd recommend. Many thanks to Berkley and NetGalley for an e-ARC of this book.

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There was something about these characters that grabbed me from the first page. Real issues, real reactions - just so real. A quick read that resonated. Kathleen West nailed it.

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This one took me forever to read. I read maybe a quarter of it during the summer but then I just couldn't get myself to pick it back up again. But I finally did and was disappointed. The characters and their problems were just lacking and uninteresting. It's like they allowed things to happen. Alice kept getting bullied but made no changes to stop it and stand up for herself. The ending was lacking. It just wasn't what I had hoped for out of Kathleen West.

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Although it held my interest, I was completely disappointed in the unsatisfying ending to Are We There Yet?. Alive got the short end of the stick the entirety of this book and I felt no sort of resolution in the end.

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Alice, Meredith, and Nadia have been friends since their kids started kindergarten together. But now, with all three in middle school, the dynamic has changed.

Alice's son has been accused of bullying and the neighbors are ready to pin defacement of property on him as well. Meredith's daughter is caught in the middle and Meredith isn't willing to do anything to risk her daughter's well being. Nadia's son has long been viewed as the troublemaker of the bunch, but she too is caught in the middle when tension between Alice and Meredith comes to a head.

But while the kids are facing their own drama, Alice herself is facing increased drama as well when her own mother reveals a secret she's been sitting on for decades!

I don't think I can adequately sum up everything going on in this book in a quick little synopsis, but I tried!

This book was such a stressful read!

Like her debut, Minor Dramas & Other Catastrophes, Are We There Yet? features lots of over involved parents and schoolyard drama.

Alice is feeling the pressure as a parent almost as soon as the book begins, attending a parent/teacher conference—alone—and pinched for time on a client meeting. But it's her son who quickly becomes the source of her stress. Her son and her job.

Meredith is the picture of an over involved parent. Her one and only daughter is the focus of ALL of her attention. And that means spending ample time on the school app, checking on her daughter's grades, obsessing about said grades, obsessing about her daughter's diet, obsessing about her daughter's activities...And the thing is, her daughter is a good kid.

Meanwhile, Nadia has been a bit on the outside of the trio for a while. The judgement both moms lump on her is clear in the opening chapter when she expresses concern about something her son mentioned regarding Alice's son.

Oh, the drama!

But it's not just the moms that get all the attention here. West focuses part of the book on the kids as well, giving readers a chance to see the full picture as the story unfolds. Who said what and why and how it affected who...

So first, re the parents, I thought this kind of mess got left behind when you left school. Now that I have a kid and I realize that's not the case...And holy crap the things kids do to one another! I had the benefit of growing up WITHOUT SOCIAL MEDIA! And how I really wish it didn't exist today, especially when it becomes the basis for a book like this.

Yeah, this book had me thinking about ALL THE THINGS I'll have to worry about as my own kid gets older.

If you're a fan of contemporary fiction/suburban drama, you should definitely dip into Wests's novels. They're full of heart (and anxiety) and tension surrounding family dynamics (I didn't even get into the subplot...). But maybe, if you have kids of your own, it'll make you step back a bit and think before acting the way her characters do...

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At first I didn't think I was really going to connect to this one as I'm not really part of the whole "mommy drama" scene. But I feel like if you've ever felt just not good enough, that someone's always got a leg up on you, that you are constantly trying to prove yourself ... then you can totally relate to this one. These characters are certainly not perfect - far from it in fact - but they are oh-so relatable.

Poor Alice really had a rough go of it in this book. Her son becomes part of a social media photo scandal and she feels ostracized from her friends and the other moms. Her own mother drops a huge bomb of a secret on her during it all, her boss is not giving her the fair shot she rightly deserves, and all of this is happening with a husband who is mostly absent for a work thing. I really felt for Alice, but I wanted to shake her and scream at her to stop being such a doormat! There's a scene at Thanksgiving that had me screaming with pride (while also slightly embarrassed) and wishing she'd put her foot down and show her feelings more.

Are We There Yet was a heartwarming, frustrating, witty, and entertaining read that is a drama-filled look into marriage and parenting, careers and friendships, and life in general - that proves that if you care too much what others think about you, you may just forget who you really are.

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In Are We There Yet, author Kathleen West explores the contemporary challenges of parenting, and balancing parenting and career. As the book opens, Alice Sullivan learns from fellow parent and friend Nadia Reddy that her son, Teddy, is embroiled in "some sort of feud" with a classmate, Tane Lagerhead. And it has been playing out on Snapchat. Alice has tried to monitor Teddy's use of social media, and only relented, permitting him to download the application because he insisted "everyone had it." With the exception of one misguided post on Instagram, Teddy has shown himself able to use responsibly. But now Nadia reports that her own son, Donovan, is worried about the very public dispute between Teddy and Tane. Alice dismisses Nadia's comments, judgmentally recalling the various problems Donovan has experienced at school over the years.

Alice soon discovers she'll be attending a morning conference with her second-grade daughter Adrian's teacher alone. Her husband, Patrick, is working long hours to attain partnership in the law firm he joined nine years ago. During the conference, Alice is shocked to hear that the teacher has "concerns about Adrian's academic skills." Alice has to admit that Adrian hasn't been practicing her reading at home as she should be. And before the conference is concluded, she is called to Teddy's school to address an incident, the severity of which "doesn't permit any delay." Teddy has never been in trouble at school before. But Alice learns that has changed: she has been summoned to discuss his third disciplinary infraction in four weeks. Alice hasn't been checking the online parent portal where such problems are reported. But it turns out that Nadia was correct. Teddy has developed a pattern of problematic behavior centered around fellow seventh-grader Tane, and is suspended from school for four days.

West relates the story via alternating third-person narratives revealing the points of view of Nadia, Alice, Teddy, and Alice's adoptive mother, Evelyn Brown, an adolescent psychologist. Also featured is Meredith Yoshida, a physical therapist keeping a close eye on her daughter Sadie as she navigates the transition into junior high school. Meredith wants to ensure that Sadie, a member of the synchronized skating team, maintains both her always-high grades and health. Is her attention to her daughter's needs obsessive? Nadia feels that Alice is obsessed with how Teddy's behavior reflects on her.

Alice's need to focus on her children's problems threatens the career she has worked hard to establish and her goal of becoming a full partner in the architectural design firm where she works. But her potential partner's reaction to the complications in her family life and questionable ethics jeopardize Alice's professional future.

And then there's the matter of the bombshell Evelyn drops on Alice. The news inspires a reactionary response from Alice that brings her own ethical boundaries into question in a moment of desperation, but it could have far-reaching consequences for her, as well as Teddy. She knows what she is risking, but is unable to stop herself.

West's tenure as an educator serves her well. Her characters are fully developed, multi-dimensional, and believable. Alice is sympathetic and compelling as she finds herself at a crossroads in the life she thought she had carefully constructed and scripted. Nothing is turning out the way she planned, and she has to navigate through the myriad challenges that befall her in order to mother her children, hold her family together, and formulate her "plan B." Alice believes she should be able to handle whatever life throws her way, but is surprised by how inadequate she suddenly feels. An architect and interior designer, Alice's work is all about carefully cultivated appearances -- artistic and aesthetically pleasing. She has striven to maintain a veneer of perfection in her personal life, as well. Now that it has crumbled, her friendships are following suit, largely due to the competitive parenting in which she and her friends have engaged. Not to mention all of the gossip, rumor-mongering, jealousy, and harsh, self-righteous criticism in which they engage. Readers will relate to and cheer for Alice as she reevaluates her priorities and accepts that perfection is an unattainable goal -- for herself and her family.

Teddy and Sadie are equally credible. West compassionately portrays the pressures they face as seventh-graders in a world where social media exacerbates the normal pressures of adolescence. As they struggle to establish their budding independence, their parents are flummoxed. How can they grant their children the privacy and autonomy they crave and need in order to mature when they are so susceptible to peer pressure and misbehavior using social media can never be completely obliterated? Of all the characters in West's tale, it is Teddy who will break readers' hearts. And West strikes a perfect balance between drama and much-needed humor. Among the various tribulations her characters face is the mystery of who is tagging various landmarks around town with phallic symbols. And why?

Are We There Yet is an engrossing exploration of and cautionary tale about parenting and the quest for a perfect life told through the experiences of West's characters. But what exactly is the title meant to convey? By the end of the story, will Alice, et al. have arrived at a specific point in their lives where everything is sorted out and they all live happily ever after without ever experiencing any further problems? Of course not. Rather, West says the title addresses this question: "Are we finished growing and changing and becoming more authentically who we are? Are we there yet? The answer for the characters in the book is no, . . . hope people think about that idea as they read the novel. And I also hope they go easy on themselves when they make their inevitable mistakes." Just as Alice learns to do.

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Just as I did with Kathleen West’s Minor Dramas & Other Catastrophes, I had a blast reading Are We There Yet? Probably because she writes SO well about the communities we (I & most likely she) live in. Thanks so much to @netgalley @bradeighgodfrey @berkleypub and @kathleenwestwrites for my advanced digital copy of this one!

I think this book is first about being a mom in a certain niche of American society, but it’s also about being an adolescent in that world. West effortlessly inhabits multiple perspectives in each age group & I loved the narration style. All the attendant joys & stressors & insecurities that come with affluent middle schoolers & their mothers are present: the parenting books, the competitive sports, the technology usage, the helicopter parenting, the mom & kid friendships, the rollercoaster-ish anxiety of it all.

While her previous book drilled down into teaching at an affluent middle school, this one zeroed in on the very real pitfalls of technology in the hands of tweens/young teens. Impulsivity, poor decision-making skills, inability to connect consequences to behavior are all part of the unformed prefrontal cortex of the adolescent, & today’s screens & social media in the lives of youth can most certainly lead to some unintended outcomes & parental struggles.

There’s a definite unlikability about most of the characters & an undertone of snark throughout the book that I’ve heard others complain about. Personally, I found it highly engaging. And as a parent of a 19-year-old who has gone through (& an almost 13-year-old who is about to go through) similar challenges, I could really relate to all of this. I appreciate the way West takes real-life issues & distasteful parental personality attributes—like judginess & superiority—& exaggerates them, almost putting them on steroids, for effect! She excels at writing what she knows, allowing us to empathize with, relate to & laugh at the characters as we see ourselves in them.

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DNF - did not finish. I was intrigued by this one but, I could not connect with the writing and storyline so I decided to put this one down. Thank you, publisher and netgalley for the chance to check this out!

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Parenting middleschoolers is definitely hard and this book captures a raw and vulnerable look at the particular stresses of parents for that age bracket. It’s definitely a struggle with all the new apps and trying to keep up and keep track and keep your kids safe. This book was often tense and stressful but also at times very heartfelt and relatable. It cut me straight to the core when it said how they look so much bigger but they’re still little kids. It’s so hard to remember that sometimes and to keep teaching and giving the patience needed.

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A trio of middle schoolers get caught in a chain of events related to bullying, and the adults in their lives scramble to try to diffuse the situation. As the adults try to balance the behavior of their children with their own obligations, they learn things about themselves and one another that surprise everyone. Author Kathleen West writes a story with few likable characters who don’t change nearly enough in her latest book Are We There Yet?.

In a trendy suburb of Minneapolis, Alice Sullivan knows she has her entire life pulled together. An interior designer with her career on the rise, Alice controls everything she and her kids do as easily as she manages the stunning tablescapes she creates for clients. Her husband supports her, although he’s usually doing it from afar. A busy lawyer, his eye is always on trying to impress the boss of the firm where works.

It doesn’t matter how busy he is, though. Alice knows all the work will be worth it when he brings home the big bonus that will allow them to redo their house. And, really, she has what every woman in her position could want: great kids, a perfect home, and, most recently, the biggest design contract in town.

Then she attends a parent-teacher conference and learns that her daughter, Adrian, is struggling, despite a stellar track record in years past. During the conference, Alice gets a call from her son’s middle school with a terse request to come over right away. Alice powers her way from one school to another, only to learn that Teddy has been accused of bullying another student.

Alice is blindsided. Suspicious at first that the assistant principal has some sort of agenda, even she can’t argue against the evidence the school has collected. Sure enough, Teddy has been using his social media accounts to attack a classmate.

Despite every effort to find out why Teddy would behave this way, Alice can’t seem to make any headway with him. Plus there’s Adrian to worry about, and she also has to juggle the design deadlines for work. Then her mother calls to share some news; it turns out Alice’s mother has a secret that she’s held close for decades but is now ready to reveal.

In a matter of days, Alice’s world goes from easy to excruciating. Nothing is going right anymore, and the friends who used to admire her have started side-eying her instead. As Alice tries to keep all the balls in the air, she’s mortified to discover that she might feel better if she lets them fall instead.

Author Kathleen West starts with an interesting premise but doesn’t give her characters room to grow. All of them, from Alice to her kids, her friends to their kids, and even the tertiary characters, start the story and end it in the same place. With minimal to no arcs initiating any major change, the result is a story that feels shallow at best.

Teddy’s reasons for bullying feel cursory, and the responses from the other students involved are contradictory. Despite the abundance of information on hand to the tweens and the adults of the dangers of social media, no one seems invested in changing their behavior. In fact, consequences for certain actions only drive the students to repeat the same actions with higher stakes involved.

Readers may get frustrated with the sense of entitlement on display from every single character in the story. When challenges come up, everyone is ready and eager to blame someone else or circumstances for their mistakes. No one learns a lesson by the end, leaving all of the conflict on the outside of the characters.

The end feels forced and rushed, as if it was necessary to tie everything up for the sake of resolution. Readers might feel compelled to roll their eyes by the time it’s all over. Those wanting an easy beach read this summer requiring little emotional investment might want to pick this up. Otherwise I recommend readers Bypass Are We There Yet?.

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I loved the previous book by this author and thought I would request. I was expecting a lot from Are We There Yet. The story was complex but in the end I was disappointed with the character development and where characters ended up. The plot felt predictable and I couldn't connect with other characters.

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This book nicely covers the struggles parents and tweens face today with social media platforms. Parents need to discuss with their child how to use social media and avoid certain behaviors and this book provides a way for parents to address those things. The story was rather slow and the ending felt rushed but I like the multiple chapters on each character, both parent and child.

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