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Men Who Hate Women

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Member Reviews

The writing is quite dry and not particularly enjoyable to read, but this is still a vital book and should be taught in schools. A lot of the earlier chapters on incels and MRAs covered details I'm already familiar with (having seen/read analysis of that grim side-alley of the internet several times), but as the book progressed and got steadily darker, horrible new worlds opened up. It's the sort of book that should be read slowly, over a long period of time, rather than all at once, in case the reader gives up on all men entirely. It's very well researched and important, and if you can get past the dry and slightly awkward style it's a valuable read.
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Interesting but found it hard to read due to the heavy material and nature of the subject matter.  It tended to feel a bit repetitive and akin to reading a text book.  While deeply depressing it was a worthwhile read to better understand such an important topic.
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I went on an absolute rollercoaster with this book. The words had extra impact, due to the current news stories in the UK. But, even without considering this, the book contains facts and stories and experiences that all women are all too aware of, something that only made the book more heart-breaking. 

The book is well researched and is very well put together to ensure that it is discussing a minority of men who engage in the various behaviours covered. Not all men engage in this behaviour, but the men who do are out there, flawed, misguided and even dangerous, and this book is a huge reveal of a culture that many are not aware of. Even those who are aware may not realise the extent that these men make an impact, and how they cross boundaries with so many other dangerous groups, including the far right. 

This book is not for the faint hearted, and will definitely take a toll on those who read it. But everyone should read it. It is important to raise awareness of these cultures and beliefs, for our friends, for the future, for our families and for our students. 

A harrowing but crucial 5 star success.
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I adored, adored Laura Bates’ masterpiece Everyday Sexism, and her latest, Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How It Affects Us All, proves as illuminating. I had heard about the misogynist nightmare that was GamerGate, but there was so much in this book that I didn’t know, particularly how pervasive incel and Men’s Right Activist lingo has become. I began to recognize memes and turns of phrase that I see on Facebook from men who don’t know where their faulty arguments and misconceptions come from. Highly, highly, highly recommended.
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Men Who Hate Women was a very unsettling read. I've heard about the incel community and vaguely heard of the manosphere. But to fully learn the extent of how far this world reached was frightening. I suggest that many women read this book. It's extremely informative
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** A copy of Men Who Hate Women was provided by the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review **

This book was very unsettling to read, even as someone who researches gender and sexual violence on a daily basis. It's unsettling because it takes you to various pockets of the Internet to show you just how misogyny and sexism are slowly entrenched in our daily lives. It's scary because these seemingly small pockets aren't that small - they're growing and have been mainstreamed. It's scary because you can see the rage build and how that rage could (and does) so easily manifest itself as outward physical and sexual violence. Bates does an excellent job in building the case that toxic masculinity is at the heart of this, and the only solution is to dismantle the imperialist racist capitalist heteronormative patriarchy!
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This is a difficult read as as it was read as an endless stream of figures who aren't nice and figures who were actively hateful towards innocent parties and those who they believed had wronged them. Laura Bates has good writing and I did like her book and how it was formatted as the writing was generally acceptable and she made clear and coherent arguments about the man who are part of the insult community. This is definitely your book you have to be in the right mindset to read as it is a difficult book to process if you aren't mentally strong enough.
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Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates


Publisher: Sourcebooks
Release Date: March 2, 2021

Nonfiction (Adult), Racism, Misogyny, Hate Groups, Domestic Violence, Violence Against Women.

WOW! I do not know what to say about this book. It was definitely a hard read but eye-opening. I learned terms and groups I had never heard before. This book made me research the terms and groups mentioned: Incels (Involuntary Celibates), Pickup Artists (PUAs), Men’s Rights Activists, etc. and what I found was scary. These are the chapters in the book.

Chapter 1: Men Who Hate Women
Chapter 2: Men Who Prey on Women
Chapter 3: Men Who Avoid Women
Chapter 4: Men Who Blame Women
Chapter 5: Me Who Hound Women
Chapter 6: Men Who Hurt Women
Chapter 7: Men Who Exploit Other Men
Chapter 8: Men Who Are Afraid of Women
Chapter 9: Men Who Don’t Know They Hate Women
Chapter 10: Men Who Hate Men Who Hate Women

She describes how she created Alex, a young man that joins the Incel forum and becomes part of the group. This is how Laura learns the underworld of misogyny. The author’s research is impeccable. This is a timely book while racism and domestic terrorism is on the rise and the violence against women act has not been passed. Although it is difficult, this is a book everyone one should read.
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This book was terrifying. I was aware of several of the groups described before reading this book, but I had no idea the depths of hate and fear multiple groups have for women for absolutely no reason other than to make themselves feel better. I learned a great deal from Bates's book and will be purchasing a copy of my own.
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#NotAllMen they yell whenever a woman shares an encounter with an aggressive admirer, a handsy boss, a leering stranger, a violent rapist, a condescending colleague, an abusive partner. They are right, but there are definitely too many men, and their numbers don’t seem to be decreasing.

In Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How It Affects Us All, journalist Laura Bates investigates the online communities whose ideology centers around having power and control over women, how these affect society, and what can be done to change it moving forward.

Whilst incels (Involuntary celibates) beg for sex on demand, pickup artists (PUA) deploy predatory “gaming” tactics, Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) choose to eschew relationships with women altogether, and Men’s Rights Activists (MRA/MRM) insist women return their stolen power, there remains a wide range of common ideas and tactics underpinning what Bates terms ‘manosphere’ communities.

As ‘Alex’, a lonely young man, she allowed herself to be recruited into an online world in which nothing was his fault, in which he was an aggrieved martyr, not the privileged loser he felt society painted him as. And the cause of all his woes? Women. ‘Foids’ that won’t sleep with him, ‘sluts’ who say no when they really mean yes, ‘nags’ who sap their energy, ‘feminazi’s’ who want to rule the world.

While such groups are often dismissed as ‘fringe’ online activities, Bates shows how savvy members of these groups have actively spearheaded campaigns that downplay, distort and discredit women’s issues, amplified by trolls who enjoy the controversy, the irresponsible practices of clickbait mainstream media, and social media algorithms. Bates also explores how the manosphere rhetoric spills into the real world, inspiring everything from wordless intimidation to mass murders, and even influencing politics.

If terrorism is a means of attempting to exert control and wield power by creating fear, then at an individual level, it also describes men who intimidate, harass, coerce and abuse women. Bates is aware that the publication of this book will again make her a target of derision, vile abuse, rape, and death threats, and that her physical safety could be at risk. No one will be surprised to hear it, few will believe that there is anything that can be done about it. As a society, we seem to assume violence against women is inevitable. 

#NotAllMen hate women, but some do. Some men blame women for every frustration, every grievance, every loss. Some men see women as objects, undeserving of respect or autonomy. And they are emboldened when these views remain unchallenged. These men are an obvious danger, not only to women, but also to society at large. A significant percentage of those who commit acts of terrorism and mass murderer have a history of violence against women.

I agree with Bates that intervention is needed well before some boys/men wander down this path. We, both women and men, need to be informed, to admit there is a problem, and work together to change it. We need to challenge instances of sexism, and fake ‘news’, to encourage boys and young men to define masculinity in a manner that doesn’t put them in opposition to women. “Ultimately, there are major changes that need to happen across a wide range of sectors, from government to tech companies, from media to education...”

I am the wife of a man who loves me, and whom I love. I am a mother of two daughters, and two sons whom I adore. So I know it’s #NotAllMen, but it is #SomeMen, many of whom I have had the misfortune to encounter in my lifetime. Men Who Hate Women is a book that will disturb, infuriate, challenge, and perhaps change you, for the better.
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After reading "Misogynation: The True Scale of Sexism", also by Laura Bates, I was curious to check this new book out. I found "Misogynation" to be a great introductory book to many aspects related to feminism. "Men who hate women", however, is a much more complex read.

Its complexity, and the fact that the author decided not to sugarcoat the topics, can make this book a harder read for many. That was not my case, since I am familiar with these situations and how problematic they are. However, it is true that many can find it jarring at points. Though, seeing the reality as it is, is the only way to really understand the problem. So I find that the tone and the way the author approached the topics were spot on.
I do appreciate the constant reminders of how every single problematic behaviour described affects all of us. Particularly when it comes to men. It is so important to make them realise their sexism hurts them as well. 
The target audience for this book isn't just women. It isn't even women like me, who already know the problems we face. The people who really need this book are the women who are still blind when it comes to all of these issues (for one reason or another) AND men. Younger men, particularly, can benefit so much from reading this book. 

Overall, I thought this was a fantastic book that I am definitely going to recommend to all the people I know who I think can benefit from reading it.
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Incredibly informative. I couldn’t believe how much I didn’t know... I had no knowledge of incels and found myself overwhelmed at times with the amount of information packed in to this book. This is a deeply uncomfortable and disturbing book, but one which I definitely think is essential reading as the information that this book provides is definitely not well known. Very informative. It did feel like a very heavy read at times, though, and I found myself having to take regular breaks from it as it took quite a mental toll at times.
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This is a painful read. 
Laura Bates examines various forms of misogyny amongst groups like pickup artists and incels. She looks at how their ideals and opinions have leaked into the mainstream over the years, and all the damage it's wreaking. Her findings are genuinely upsetting, but in order to push back against these ideals they need to be acknowledged. This is a valuable and informative resource.
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This is a very depressing book, but it's one every single person should read. Because it's important to be aware of what's going on in the world, both on- and offline. The online communities Laura Bates describes in this book have an offline impact on people who have never even heard of them. I fear that their numbers have increased since the start of the pandemic, with more people spending time online potentially running into the propaganda these communities disseminate in innocent places to lure people deeper and deeper into their grasp.

The communities this book is about are all part of the so-called manosphere, the various online places where people (mostly men) waste away their finite time on this earth steeping in misogyny, violent fantasies, and hate. Laura Bates gives a detailed overview of the different communities, from incels to pick-up artists, from men's rights activists to MGTOWs (Men Going Their Own Way), and the many ways they intersect and form one giant ecosystem, with all groups feeding into each other. Bates also highlights the very real dangers these groups pose for society, ranging from trolling to death and rape threats, domestic abuse, and in extreme cases even misogynistic terrorism (although it is never acknowledged as such).

While I've always appreciated Bates's writing, there were parts of this book that were a slog to get through. It might be mostly due to the subject, because seeing the misogyny pile up chapter after chapter can be quite hard, but the writing is also very dry in places, reading more like a government report.

This book should make you angry. I believe that was partly Bates's intent. But it could also be a driving force to make police and lawmakers face the facts about these groups and their actions. Bates mentions having to explain to police officers what Twitter was when she was being targeted and told "we know where you live". Campaigners have alerted them again and again to the dangers of the manosphere. At this point, the inaction by politicians and law enforcement should be considered dereliction of duty caused by wilful ignorance.

But Bates also points out that it's not all boys and men (hashtag isn't it ironic). There are plenty of men who work to counter the influence of the manosphere, there are plenty of boys who won't believe the lies that are being spread by the misogynist hate-mongers. And there are even more boys and men who can be saved from falling into the cesspit of hate and self-hate, by having the opportunity to talk to and learn from the good men out there. But in order for that to happen, we need to create the space for it, we need education on board, and we need to keep doing it again and again. Because this path is not a quick-fix solution, one talk and it's done. This needs to be a sustained effort. And if you're not convinced that it's necessary, maybe you should read this book (again).
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I feel like this is the book I have been looking for! I have been aware of misogynistic men’s groups but was never able to find any significant information. This book provided an in-depth look at these different groups, but also explained why the information on them is typically so hard to find. It also provided insight and ideas for how to address these issues with our boys and young men so that they are not swallowed by these communities. I feel like this is required reading for anyone with kids today. It is also helpful in explaining some of the struggles I witness with male clients and their self-loathing when they are not able to live up to masculine stereotypes. 

Thank you so much for allowing me an early read of this fantastic book. I have had most of Laura Bates other books saved to my Amazon wishlist for a while and now I know if I purchase those it will be money well spent!
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I struggled with rating this book. Because the subject matter was so... disturbing. So revolting, so upsetting. I had to call my mother after reading this just to get it out my system. I was horrified, angry, and agitated throughout this book. So you can't say that I liked reading it. But this is an IMPORTANT book. It's an important subject matter to look into and spread awareness about. And you cannot fault Bates' professionalism, journalism or commitment. I have the highest respect for her. And I recommend this book to anyone who says "Sexism isn't hurting anybody" or "Don't we already have equality" - just make sure you're robust enough to learn the through.
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I'm currently taking a class on anti-feminism and, as Laura Bates says it, Men who hate women - and the contents of this book have been extremely useful for me to understand the class materials better. This is a very complete book, easy to access and that does not shy away from the very ugly parts of what it sets out to describe and analyze. 
It's a very difficult read, but necessary, and a book I'll definitely buy a physical copy of to add to my library of texts on feminism and anti-feminism, and to loan to friends who might be interested in the subject. Even if you're aware of the global impact of misogyny on the internet and in real life, there's a lot of "new" content in here, and I'm sure this will be interesting even to people well-versed on the subject.
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While definitely a necessary addition to literature being written about white, male terrorists, this book for the most part was a little too basic. I wish it had been more solutions-focused before the final chapter; many of us are already aware of the dangers incels, MRAs, etc. pose. It was also written from a highly white feminist vantage point as opposed to a true intersectional lens, so that was disappointing. Overall, it was still satisfying to read research on what I've been seeing on Tumblr and Twitter for the last 10 years, which is why I still gave this book such a high rating.
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#MenWhoHateWomen #NetGalley #sourcebooks

Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates presents one of the many types of hate groups that have been organized thanks to the power of the internet to connect extremists. Men Who Hate Women carefully documents how connections develop between men who are unhappy with their lives and men who believe their unhappiness is caused by forces outside themselves, which obligate them to doxx, or stalk, or target crowds with a gun or a vehicle. Worse, it shows how the extremists celebrate the terrorist killers who have come before them, and then groom others to be killers.

Ms. Bates believes that it is possible to insulate boys and men from the false argument that a man’s worst problem is his inability to find a sexual partner, that all of men’s problems are caused by society’s acceptance of the idea that men and women are equal, and that at root everything that has gone wrong in a man’s life can be laid at the feet of all women. The final section of the book is about remediating these vicious beliefs, which is good, because absent a plan to de-escalate misogynists, one could be excused for believing that women’s self defense was doomed against misogynist terrorists.
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This was a fascinating, frightening exploration of modern misogyny.   The graphic nature of the information was unexpected, but this book was never dry or difficult to get through.  Definitely interested in reading more by author!

Thank you so much Netgalley & Sourcebooks for this e-arc!
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