#The Calm I Seek is author # Christina Lourens debut novel. One that is a wonderful Christian of redemption. I just love a great romance novel.
Thank you for the advance copy,
#Netgalley, # Christina Lourens, and # BooksGoSocial

When I saw the cover to this book, I fell in love. I'm big on aesthetics, and this cover gave off such an air of uplifting peace that I couldn't wait to start reading. Unfortunately, when I began reading, I was sorely disappointed. The sentences seemed short, choppy, and disjointed. It didn't flow well, and as an empath I felt nothing but an overwhelming sense of anxiety. I was sad, because I wanted to love the book so much, and I was dreading reading the rest. But then I woke up one morning and realized the magic.
Everything I've said about the book is true; but it's not due to bad writing. In fact, it's rather genius, and I can honestly say I've never before read a book whose language so perfectly matched the story's mood. Without giving spoilers, I can only say this: Rebecca's former husband is dead, and though she wasn't happy in the marriage for many reasons, she still feels bad about what happened and can't get past her feelings. Essentially, her life is stuck in limbo, and she doesn't even realize it. Her mind is full of guilt, anxiety, and avoidance of pleasure, which is exactly the feeling that the writing style projects. It's a perfect match. When she meets Gabriel and starts clawing her way back to life, the language then shifts and becomes happier and more elongated, allowing for an easier read. I'm a mood reader, and I can guess with almost certainty that Christina is a mood writer. As long as you're prepared for that, you're in for a wild ride of emotion, ending with a twist I didn't even see coming.

this was such a fun summer read! i really liked this book and it made me so ready for summer! i can't wait to get to travel again and i'm so pumped!!

I found myself gripped on the second half of this book, it has a mixture of love, betrayal and overcoming trauma. Rebecca (the main protagonist) was dealing with an event that ate her up every single day and was trying to move on from it, even 3 years later she can't escape the guilt but tries to make the most of her life even if it meant shutting herself away. Her loved ones encourage her to enjoy life and go out and have some fun, when she steps out of her comfort zone she begins to trust someone who makes her feel like she can start fresh.

The constant need for others to push Rebecca out of her comfort zone, she always seemed to feel like she had to apologise to keep the peace even when it concerned her own life that others were trying to butt in on. Being pushed towards accepting god again whilst gaslighting Rebecca made me uncomfortable at times but all in all the story was great, it left me heartbroken at times and it's worth a read.

Kudos to Christina Lourens on this captivating debut novel! The Calm I Seek was a quick read for me as I was quickly drawn into the drama in Rebecca's life as she began to tell her story. It is a heartbreaking personal tale of family discord, abuse, and betrayal. There is joy, as well as shocking moments of loss. Suffering a heavy burden of guilt, Rebecca slowly returns to God, who loves her and has always been with her. "God had been waiting patiently for me to come round........ To rid myself of my guilt by laying bare my soul and asking for forgiveness. And now that I had finally returned to God and a Christian life, my guilt had lifted and peace had taken its place."

I recommend this story who appreciates realistic inspirational Christian fiction. I am grateful to NetGalley for an ARC of this novel, for this my honest review.

The Calm I Seek is an unforgettable story of heartache, relationships, pain and redeeming love. Author, Christina Lorens, writes in a way where you feel one with the character. Each emotion and relationship are written in a way as I’ve never read before.
Main character, Rebecca, is a young widow in a small town in England. A painful past, a controlling older sister, and her anger at God all keep her from embracing the life around her. She is content on lonely nights and overworking herself in her business, but a surprise gift for salsa lessons pushes her to live a little. Surprisingly, she finds herself crushing on the teacher, which reluctantly finds the two dating. Rebecca constantly fights the painful feeling of something going wrong and that God wants to punish her. Soon, a deceitful matter and then a heartbreaking loss take over her life. Will she come to trust God and let Him show her the way through or will she continue to fight Him and distrust His love for her?
This book was a definite page turner for me. I fell in love, pained and angered with the characters. This is a story I’ll always remember and reflect on.
(I received an ARC of this book from the publisher for my honest opinion.)
#netgalley
#TheCalmISeek

Interesting and complex:
I really enjoyed this book and thought that it had a complexity and depth not always found in debut novels. It was a story about love, forgiveness and redemption. I liked that the characters were flawed and relatable, and that it dealt with some heavy subjects such as death and abuse but in such a way as to provide hope.
Widowed Rebecca had a lot of pain and guilt and she had effectively shut herself out from life. She was jaded and it took a while for her to learn to trust again and to open up her heart to love. I appreciated that Rebecca was confused and a little broken and I liked seeing her find healing and restoration.
There was a good Christian message and it was nice seeing the characters work out there faith's to find redemption and peace.
However some things didn't quite add up such as would she really wear an open back dress given her scarring? Yet overall it was a wonderful book and I look forward to hopefully reading more from this new author.
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review. All opinions expressed are solely my own.

The Calm I Seek is Christina Lourens first novel. This is an amazing story that touches on tough subjects such as abuse, rape, suicide and alcoholism. This story is told in first person by Rebecca as we follow her through her life after killing her abusive husband in self defense. Three years later she runs her business, sees her family and very little else. She has also turned away from the church. One of her employees convinces her to take a salsa dance class and she develops a relationship with the instructor, whom she later finds out has not been totally honest with her.

While the topics in this story are hard to read, I really enjoyed this story. It is well written and has so much depth. Despite not really getting along, the three sisters get together on a regular basis. Through the book the author reveals more background to show the reader how the girls have come to be the way they are. I felt so sorry for Rebecca, not just for the abuse she suffered, but for the way her older sister treated her and for how she struggled for so long trying to move forward. I also enjoyed the humor with the older sisters inability to cook. It was just enough to lift the seriousness of the topics in the story.

I received an ebook copy of this story from BooksGoSocial through NetGalley. This is my honest review.

Rebecca doesn't easily trust, not any man, not her own feelings. She thinks she doesn't deserve happiness. As was to be expected things will change.
Accepting forgiveness sometimes isn't easy, believing that God is able to forgive everything is even more difficult.

This was a nice entertaining novel with good characters.

The Calm I Seek
Christina Lourens

*“In dancing, you have to let your heart and body do the talking. The mind can stop worrying.”
“And in life?”*

This is the author's debut novel and I'm glad I picked this book up because it's so good and inspiring and I loved every part of it, I loved every character because their flaws had perfection and each character had a back story and it's written in a single persons POV, I laughed with the characters, chried with them and got mad at a few and straight out wanted to murder a character! And yes I can't believe that it's her debut novel 😲


It's set in the small town of Southampton and it's of contemporary time period. So the main character is Rebecca who is an event planner and she's good at it but when it comes to romance she is terrible at it or at least she thinks so. Her past haunts her so she lives an introverted life, to appease ger family she takes up Salsa classes!

Gabriel is a salsa teacher with all tall, bronze and handsome with aan eye for fashion. He starts off a relationship with Rebecca as a friends with benefits coz the first marriage didn't work out for her but he's deceptive just like Richard too so why bother right?

Andrew the church vicar plays the vital role in the novel at least he does according to me. He is set up with Rebecca by her elder sis and the road is rocky but no relationship is easy peasy right!


Rebecca refuses to acknowledge the God that abandoned her when she needed him most we can see her inner turmoil to escape from God and rebel against him, but she decides to strike a deal with God but God don't work that way does he, so her anger with God rises and she's just tired to escape anymore. This book is Rebecca's journey of seeking peace and calm and it's worth your time I read it within 6 hours approximately so go ahead and grab your copy soon!!
It releases on November 26th 2020
Thank you @netgalley and @booksirens for the arc copy 💙

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An entertaining and well written book. Good plot and character dynamics. I highly recommend this book. I received an advance ebook from the publisher and Netgalley. This is my unbiased review.

This book did get off to a slow start for me. I started it a few times and kept putting it down. I finally kept with it and was rewarded with a book that was so layered with many different hard things within it. It was hard to read at times, but worth it. God's grace and forgiveness was a much needed reminder and was put into words beautifully.

This book was received as an ARC from BooksGoSocial in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own.

I absolutely loved the story. The complications Rebecca faced throughout her life especially when her husband dies, was very heartbreaking and gut wrenching but, when she gets a chance to help plan her sister's wedding, she didn't realize that her life would change forever. Then, enter Gabriel her salsa teacher with a charismatic personality. After being heartbroken, Rebecca guards herself from the feelings she has for Gabriel but they are too strong to resist. Then after learning that her late husband has betrayed her leaving her heart shattered in pieces, Rebecca fights hard to not give up hope for happiness. I appreciated the fact that this book falls in the category of realistic romance because not all romance is a happy ending and there have been many that have had their heart broken (me being one of them) but it was reassuring the fact that if you are emotionally strong enough, hope is around the corner.

We will consider adding this title to our Christian Fiction collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.

This is a heart wrenching Christian romance that touches on abuse, betrayal, guilt, religious doctrine, and forgiveness. My heart was broken with the characters as they move through this difficult but encouraging story of redemption and true relationship with a God that loves.

Rebecca Holmes has allowed the violent death of her husband to shake her faith. Her guilt at the circumstances of his death cause her to believe she can no longer find happiness and peace. She believes her mistakes are too great to deserve forgiveness and only earn her punishment and misery.

Rebecca’s sister Hannah asks for her help in planning her wedding. This task brings out long standing conflict between the three sisters. After being told that she is avoiding her own life, Rebecca joins a salsa class to prove her sisters wrong. In the salsa class, Rebecca begins to have feelings for her sexy salsa teacher, Gabriel. As they begin spending more time together, Rebecca begins to open her heart again to feeling love. But a betrayal threatens their relationship.

Can Rebecca learn to forgive herself and find the peace that she needs? Can her family move beyond the struggles that have defined and hurt their relationships?

Trigger warnings on abuse and rape

Thanks to NetGallery for an ARC for my honest feedback

CW: emotional abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, loss of a family member

Thank you to Netgalley and BooksGoSocial for the ARC of The Calm I Seek in return for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions on this book are my own and were not influenced by receiving an advanced copy.

I honestly have mixed feelings about this book. The message was so important, that God’s forgiveness and grace knows no bounds, even when we feel like we may be the exception. The title The Calm I Seek is very fitting for what Rebecca, our protagonist is going through. She can’t find a moment of true rest because of the things eating away at her. Her character was very likable and quite relatable.

I enjoyed that the love story wasn’t the priority in this novel, but rather the personal transformation of Rebecca. I found the vicar Andrew being my favorite supporting character just because he was the one speaking truths into Rebecca’s life. Also, shout out to Dino, the best book pet parrot there ever was. As for least favorite character, I found Laura to be insufferable. I just could not stand her and her attitude toward all the other characters in the book. But she went through a transformation of her own by the end which I was happy to see.

But once I was done with the story I just felt so sad. I just felt that certain things that happened within the story weren’t necessary. I don’t want to go into detail about what exactly, since I like to be spoiler free, but when this certain shocking event happened I almost didn’t want to finish the book.

Overall, the message of coming to a place of trust and forgiveness despite things you have done or gone through was very good. The author really drove home her point that the calm a lot of us are seeking can be found in God. I recommend reading it, but just be prepared for an emotional roller coaster ride and sadness.

Review will be posted on gennysbookbag.weebly.com on publishing date. Review is posted on Goodreads at www.goodreads.com/gennysbookbag

A super good book about family and forgiveness. It’s a bit sad and a bit hopeful but you will be drawn into the story of this family.

I received an ARC from BooksGoSocial through Net Galley for an honest review. Rebecca was abused by her husband and when he died, she led a quiet life. When her younger sister Hannah became engaged, Hannah asked Rebecca to plan her wedding. Rebecca would have time because she didn't have a husband or kids, and had no life. Rebecca reluctantly agreed and she thought about what her family said. She decided to try salsa lessons.
When she got to the first class, she met the instructor Gabriel. They enjoyed each other's company and as Rebecca started to open her heart, she discovers Gabriel lied by omission. As I was reading, the title kept popping into my head, The Calm I Seek, and I kept hoping that Rebecca would find that. After all that her husband had done to her, it would be hard to let someone else in but as she slowly let Gabriel in, she began to change, and slowly she started to begin to be happy. When she discovers Gabriel's lie she has a choice, does she close herself back up or will she realize who she was becoming since she met Gabriel?
I am not going to lie to you, so I will tell you, it was hard reading what her husband had done to her because even though I know it happens in real life, I just don't understand how someone could do it. It was a wonderful book and very realistic, and it was nice to see Rebecca finally taking steps to continue on with life.

Was an amazing book to read. The author used descriptions and a story that gripped my imagination. There was a different subtle change as I progressed though the book which keprme reading more. There wasn't the everything is good ending which made it more realistic.