Cover Image: How to Be Ace

How to Be Ace

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Member Reviews

I received a complimentary copy of this title from the publisher through NetGalley. Opinions expressed are my own.

I was really looking forward to this book. I'm not sure if I didn't read the description properly or missed something, but I did not realize that it would be a comic book. It was also more of a memoir than a general book.

I will say that I wasn't thrilled with this. I do think there needs to be more awareness of asexuality, but this one was SO specific to the author. Which is not what you'd at all expect from the title. I mean, yes, it's a book about one person's journey to discovering they were asexual. That's about all I can say about it,

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I will preface with saying this is an incomplete review in a rough draft form. It will be updated along with a link to the review once it leaves my drafts. I finished it over a month ago but have been having such mixed feelings that I've been unable to articulate how I feel about this graphic memoir.

On the one hand, representation of the ace community! Rare and so needed! On the other hand, as a person on the ace spectrum myself, I felt really odd and out of place reading this book as it didn't really seem so much about being ace as it did about mental health struggles amplifying the negative feelings around many of the experiences. Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and, I would likely pick up the memoir on that basis as well. But, when a book is entitled, "How to Be Ace", one sort of assumes it will be mostly about the asexual discovery or lived experience with heavy focus on that.

Reading through the reviews, I didn't find many out-ace voices. I found many non-ace voices talking about how excellent insight this is. It isn't though, it really isn't. It's unfortunately misleading because of its title. It isn't some guide of how to be ace, or even how to know your ace, or even general signs and spectrum experiences of being ace. I feel like this needed to be rebranded as a focus on OCD and mental health with Ace being part of the story - not the entire framework for the book. It put a LOT of pressure and implication into it.

I also REALLY strongly disliked the random, unexpected panels depicting mild sexual content without any warning and the kink panel that was wholly uncomfortably placed. Beyond that, I was disappointed to see an author who says they've been bullied a lot to shame someone's appearance.

On a technical note, the ebook received from the publisher's was very blurry and straining on my eyes to read. And personally, I'm confused about the publication date because it says 21 Oct but then my copy I was reading said 2021. I can only hope that means they are revising it and considering releasing an updated version.

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This was a really interesting comic. I was quite moved by the author story, but also the way she tells the story. I also really enjoyed the art.
One of the thing I really apreciated is that the author, in between the different chapter of her own story, take the time to explain what being on the asexual spectrum means.

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This was a well written book and it really did demonstrate the feelings that someone who is Asexual could go through.

The book has brilliant illustrations and they brought the book to like and really expressed the feelings.

It was great to find out more about this topic and it is one that I had heard of but didn't know too much about as well.

It is 5 stars from me for this one, a great read for anyone out there who wants to know more and who are struggling with these thoughts - it will make them realise they are not alone and hopefully provide them with strength and courage too.

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This was very insightful but I wish it had followed more of the memoir format like the title suggest instead of switching back and forth between following the main characters life then pausing to repeate the same facts we just learned about asexuality in a more informative style. It felt redundant since we were already learning what it means to be asexual at same time as the main character. It just took my attention away from the characters journey.

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Delightful graphic memoir about growing up and being ace. Does a good job to describe how weird you feel when everyone and everything around you seems to be interested in sex, and you are not.

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How to Be Ace was an interesting read for me. As someone who is not ace, I was hoping to learn some new things that maybe I've been in the dark on. This is much more a memoir than a non-fiction guide to the ace spectrum. It was personal and raw and definitely draws the reader in, but the information will be mostly beneficial to people just starting their journey in learning about the queer spectrum.

That being said this is a great book to recommend for older teens and adults who are questioning or learning about asexuality for the first time.

The art style is charming and the dialogue and storytelling are engaging, though not all of it smoothly transitions throughout the book.

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Overall, I enjoyed this. I think it's so important, and as someone who is still questioning my sexuality, a lot of this really struck me. It had me googling demisexuality and asexuality, and although I'm still confused and questioning, I think this provided some more clarity and one person's personal experience with being ace. I did find the narrative at times hard to follow and felt like although the inclusion of mental health was really crucial to the author's journey, it also sometimes overwhelmed the plot. I think the text could have been better edited to balance the two and make them work simultaneously together. I would definitely send my friends to read this book as a primer.

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This is a very interesting and informative graphic novel about what it means being asexual but, in my opinion, the illustrations could be better.

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A memorable, detailed and relatable story of what it feels like growing up different to the majority of your peers and discovering one's asexuality. The story is told as a comic, which works really well and captures the situations and emotions the author is experiencing perfectly. My slight peeve about the format is that as a kindle book it is difficult to read as there are multiple panels on each page (which is standard) and to enlarge them you double-click on each panel (also standard) but to view the next panel you have to close the one you're looking at and double-click the next one all over again. I'm not sure if the publisher controls this or if it's a new feature of kindle comic books, but it really disrupted the reading experience for me.

Otherwise this is a book I would recommend for anybody, whether ace or not. Minor issue with the author stating that being asexual means not being interested in sex near the start of the book, but they do go on to explore different ways people experience asexuality, including aces who choose to have sex. In surveys, as many as 40% of ace people are in relationships where they have sex, so I think it's important to not conflate lack of sexual attraction towards anyone as lack of interest in sex. As said, though, the story does diversify.

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I hardly ever read comics, but I was really excited to read this one because of the themes it analyses. And I think the artist did a great job exploring the problem of underrepresentation of asexuality and its harm for asexual people. However I also ended up having quite a lot of issues with the comic overall.

Firstly, the story itself is very episodic and different bits of it were connected seemingly at random, the narrative focus and the logical or chronological connection were really lacking. Also, it felt like dealing with anxiety/OCD took up almost a bigger part of the comic than the artist's experience with being asexual.

On top of that, there were a few descriptions that I found kind of problematic. For example, asexuality is described as having a lack of sexual attraction. Most people would probably think there's nothing wrong with this, but actually saying that asexual people lack sexual attraction just reinforces the idea that everyone is supposed to experience sexual attraction otherwise there's something wrong with you, you're lacking, which is a harmful implication. Though I obviously do not think this was intended to come across this way.

Other than that, I felt like this comic painted quite a monochrome picture of what it's like to be asexual so I wouldn't really recommend it if you want to learn more about asexuality in general.

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I want to thank Rebecca Burgess, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and NetGalley for an advanced copy of How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual in exchange for an honest review.

First, I would like to say that the illustrations were simply beautiful! The watercolor effect added a beautiful element to the story being told. Each page held a vivid image, but nothing felt too crowded.

Overall, I think this memoir told a beautiful collection of what it is like coming to identify, accept, and confront being asexual. As someone that identifies as demisexual, I appreciated the representation and explaining how that differs from being asexual. I thought that the explanations were clear and easily accessible who may be introduced to the term asexuality for the first time.

Rebecca's story was stunning and I enjoyed reading about her journey, but also her identity outside of her sexuality. I will absolutely be picking up more books from Burgess in the future.

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This gem of a graphic novel captures the roller coaster of what it is like to grow up in a culture where your views and ways of life are considered abnormal/unusual/not acceptable by the majority. This graphic memoir explores identity, relationships, cultural norms and coping with a mental disorder (in this particular novel: OCD and anxiety). How to Be Ace is the first novel I have read with an expressly self-identified ace character. I love that Good Omens is shown as having ace characters though and it makes me love that novel/show even more than I did before.

It took courage to write this graphic novel. I love the art style. I believe Rebecca's drawings of what it is like to have anxiety and OCD are heartbreakingly accurate and beautifully shown/laid bare. I admire her honesty and openness in this work of art.

Recommended for: anyone wanting to learn more about identities, LGBTQIA+, lovers of graphic novels, memoir lovers

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Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was not my first experience with asexual people but I loved it anyway!

It's great if you know nothing about it and wants to open your mind to other realities or even if you're already familiar with the topic.

Rebecca did a great job of explaining to us how she felt, the things that she went through, and the reality of how hard it is to recognize our own feelings, especially if you don't fit in with the majority of people.

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I LOVE graphic novel memoirs! This book follows Rebecca through their life showcasing the different moments in which they felt different and later realized it was because they hadn't discovered things out about themself yet. The focus is on them being ace, but there's also experiences with OCD and finding connections with other people.

There are so many great moments of storytelling in this book. I especially connected when Rebecca found representation in media through the "Good Omens" fandom. I hope this book can be that representation for ace people. I also hope this is an introduction for some people who aren't as familiar with asexuality.

I give this book a 5/5. These stories show such a great glimpse into someone's unique story. The challenges they faced, the realizations they made, and the connections they made.

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Loved, loved this book! It gives great insight into what aces go through before they realized their identity. There need to be more books about asexuals especially to help those who are feeling the way the author did at a young age. I'm getting this for our library.

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4.5 Stars ( I received an e-arc from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review)

I do want to put a disclaimer out there, I am not ace and have not known anyone who identifies as asexual. The story is by an Own Voices author and I do encourage everyone to seek out own voices reviews as well. I loved this graphic novel getting to learn about one person’s journey to figuring out themselves and their sexuality. I felt a variety of emotions while reading this book happiness, sadness, anger, excitement and many more. The art style is simple and not my favourite but it does suit the story in a way.

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It's important to be able to recognize yourself in books, both in fiction or in memoirs. A memoir is important so you can see an honest representation of a possible future for yourself. We don't see a lot of asexual people in any books, so to have a book all about it is pretty significant. The journey we take with Burgess through this book is not especially controversial or challenging but rather gentle and reassuring.

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This powerful memoir shows readers the power of representation. Growing up, Rebecca assumed that something was wrong with her because she found that she wasn't attracted to boys as her peers were. She was concerned that she would have to spend the rest of her life alone and never fit with society's expectations of "normal."

As she moved through life, Rebecca realized that she is asexual (abbreviated ace). After learning that others also feel this way, she was able to connect with resources and folx to help her better understand what she was feeling. Rebecca also discussed her anxiety and compulsive behaviors that could, at times, overwhelm her. Her depictions of therapy and the struggle to find a job are also very relatable and will help many young people feel seen.

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I loved this so much! I have a person in my life who is ace and this helped me a lot and I am delighted to have it to offer at our library for others who need this information. Beautifully done.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book!

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