Cover Image: How to Be Ace

How to Be Ace

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Member Reviews

Growing up, Rebecca's friends would gush over boys and couldn't wait to be in relationships, but Rebecca wasn't interested in those conversations. She figured she would "grow up" eventually. When she got into relationships, she enjoyed the closeness with others, but not the physical aspect of actually touching the other person. She wondered what was wrong with her and her anxiety and phobias spiraled. Over time and with therapy for OCD, phobias and anxiety, Rebecca learned that there was nothing wrong with her after all: she was asexual. Even better, she learned that it was possible to be happy in a relationship while being asexual.

How to Be Ace is an important book for anyone to read, regardless of if they are within the LGBTQ+ community or not. The author speaks on her struggles of growing up asexual, when she did not know that there was a term for that and society didn't know much about it either (and still doesn't). She also writes about her struggles with OCD, phobias, and anxiety. This graphic novel is both beautifully illustrated and written.

It is SO IMPORTANT to have representation in books, and I'm glad that this book now exists for those struggling to find their identity.

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I was very excited to receive an ARC of this comic through NetGalley. I do not often see asexuals represented in the media and enjoyed reading through and seeing someone like me struggle to figure out who they were in a realistic way.

The art style of the novel is very cute and doesn't take away the reader's ability to understand the plot. However, sometimes the images were blurry and unfocused if you tried to zoom in to read smaller texts.

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Part helpful guide, part memoir, this graphic novel is a wonderful exploration of asexuality, OCD, and the feeling of not fitting in. It is rare for me to feel represented as an ace woman, more rare still to see representation of both my asexuality and my OCD in one person, and it made be feel seen to a degree I was not expecting. This is a beautiful little book that everyone should read.

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Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

How to Be Ace is such an insightful look into what it's like to be Asexual whilst also talking about the main character's OCD. I think these topics were dealt with in a really clever way in this graphic novel, as the author talked about these subjects concisely but informatively at the same time in the teeny tiny text bubbles that don't offer a lot of space for elaborating in a comic format.

I really liked how this book spoke about how many different sexualities there are and was very openminded with this read. It was dealt with in a beautiful way, the art style is really lovely, simple but effective and I just had a really positive reading experience with this graphic novel.

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My main hope was that this book would be educational and easy to read for younger readers, to introduce the topic of asexuality in a light way. I think it succeeded in that. There's a fine line between sharing your experience and being preachy and Rebecca Burgess never crossed it. To be honest, this didn't do much for me, but I can see it having a real impact on teenagers or younger generations, still discovering themselves and others.
Ace people are definitely underrepresented in any kind of media, so content like this should get the recognition it deserves. Bravo Rebecca to take the plunge and expose your life story, struggles, and journey of self-development. I'm sure it's not easy, but it could help many others to feel understood and less alone.

I'd recommend this to anyone that is not familiar with the concept of Ace, to anyone that is young and still figuring out their sexuality, to anyone that might struggle with who they are or have been told they're wrong, to anyone that would like to open their horizons, just a little.

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How to Be Ace tells Rebecca Burgess' story of growing up without feeling sexual attraction and how this made her feel like an outsider for so much of her early life. It makes important points about the lack of education and representation of asexual people, even in an age where the lgbt+ community is slowly starting to become more mainstream.

This book needs to be in every high school library. I really believe it would help so many young people feel validated and would help skip over so much of the anxiety and confusion that Burgess describes feeling in this book. It is told in a way that teenagers would easily understand and would be a very quick read for most people. I found myself feeling so much for the main character of this graphic novel. The illustrations and the narration paired together perfectly.

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This is a great graphic memoir that balances humor, information, and deep meditations on being ace, having OCD and anxiety/panic attacks, and the discrimination that society can put on each of those things. Burgess's art style is lovely, and her pages flow really well and made the memoir a breeze to read, even during the heavier sections. This would be a phenomenal resource for teens or young adults (or older adults!!) who might be ace/aro (or anywhere on the ace-spectrum), but it's probably also great for allosexual folks too.

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Where do I even start with this one? I will start at the beginning. This book made me feel so seen. I grew up feeling like I didnโ€™t fit and pretending that I felt the same as my friends to fit in. This book really expressed the experience of young ace and ace-spec people. Though my experience wasnโ€™t exactly the same as the authors I could really identify with the feelings and confusion.

I loved the art style that the author used. It is so soft and beautiful, but also expresses emotions so completely and deeply. I loved the soft and muted colours. I loved how anxiety and emotion was expressed through the art using different colours and techniques.

I think that anyone questioning their sexuality or who wants to know more about the experience of ace-spec people should pick this up. It is incredibly eye-opening and though not all ace-spec people have the same experiences, it is a good representation of what some people experience.

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This memoir is brilliant, it details the highs and lows of being asexual, it challenges the opinions of others whilst discussing the complexities of mental health and particularly OCD. Memoirs like this are needed so much to help people understand their feelings and sexuality. Asexuality is most definitely not discussed enough. How to be Ace solidifies that there is no one way to be ace, it explains that asexuality is a term to describe different experiences and focuses on the way Rebecca feels. I would highly recommend this memoir to everyone!

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I pisked up this book hoping to learn more about asexuality, and while I did, I don't think this format was super helpful in getting the information out. The book ends up mainly being about the author and their life with a few facts and important notes sprinkled in. I think the author's perspective is important but ifyou are looking for more factual info on asexuality,I would consider looking elsewhere.

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This is a phenomenal book. ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜›๐˜ฐ ๐˜‰๐˜ฆ ๐˜ˆ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ that helps explain so much both for someone who knows of someone struggling to understand why they feel different as well as asexuals and aromatics to show that they are not alone - that there are others out there who have the same fears, anxieties and questions about who and what they are.

For me, who is someone who has a loved one who identifies as asexual, it helped me understand so much more about what they are going through. Even things that I hadn't thought were connected to the security now were now explained to me in a way that was both easy to understand and wonderfully expressed.

๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜›๐˜ฐ ๐˜‰๐˜ฆ ๐˜ˆ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ is done in a graphic novel format with beautiful illustrations telling the tale of the author and illustration, Rebecca Burgess from their final year of high school to their twenties. It's insightful, emotional and a truly effective way of explaining something that is still very rarely explained and understood- something that needs to change and I believe ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜›๐˜ฐ ๐˜‰๐˜ฆ ๐˜ˆ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ will play a part in making being Ace something that is a part for peoples lives just as much as being transgender has become in recent years.

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This book was something I sorely needed. For so long I havenโ€™t felt normal because I donโ€™t want to have sex like so many people my age and in the world. Asexual people exist of course but am I, is what I would ask. When I did define myself as ace people(family,friends,etc) โ€œwould say oh you havenโ€™t even had it yet, Youโ€™ll see itโ€™s great, you just need to find the right person, your too young to know.โ€ I have felt this way since I was 10 and my friends pressured me into saying I liked someone. It was so wonderful to felt understood and seen. It was so reassuring to know Iโ€™m not alone. Thank you so much to the amazing author. I canโ€™t wait to gift this to my friend who is questioning once itโ€™s released.

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"How To Be Ace" by Rebecca Burgess is, as the title suggest, a memoir graphic novel telling a story of the author's teenagehood and early adulthood. It is told in little vignettes connected by the narration supplied by the author. It follows Rebecca's journey of self-discovery and coming to terms with her sexual orientation, which is asexuality.

I don't think I encountered an art style similar to the one of Rebecca Burgess. It looks really simple but it's absolutely adorable, and it fits the story just right. The fact that the author's style is put together with the autobiographical story makes it all the more special and personal.

The strongest point of this graphic memoir is providing simple explanations of complex concepts connected to one's sexual and romantic orientation. It's very accessible delivery makes it a perfect read for all teens, as it can give a name to the experiences that are still overlooked by many.

While reading and learning more about the author I realised with how many of her struggles I could identify with. The story was very geniuine and full of emotion, which made it so much more important.

Suffice to say, I recommend it to absolutely everyone. "How To Be Ace" is a very important and informative read which sheds light on the 'invisible orientation'. Great job, Rebecca!

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justanotherbookishblog's profile picture
justanotherbookishblog
Good morning!

I was sent #howtobeace by @theorahart via @netgalley (thank you) and I must admit: this is my first own voices book. Shock horror for 4 corners of booksta, I know. But I thought hey why not give it a go. I've been loving graphic novels so it could be fun and interesting!

How To Be Ace did not disappoint.

This was both run to read, had great explanations, and sometimes even became relatable. But it didn't only stress 'being ace'. It also covered OCD, the importance of good mental health, friendship, self acceptance, phobias, societal expectations and many more topics, some of which are not talked about enough.

This book should be used in education. It gave an honest account of what growing up is, especially the confusion you can feel before you ever find out that there is a term for your 'differences'.

If you are feeling out of place, keep your chin up guys, you're not alone ๐Ÿ’œ

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This was an easy format to address a topic that might be unknown to some. It was a quick read that was full of information. It is from a personal perspective mixed with anxiety and OCD. It is relatable to teens because much of what is in this graphic novel is familiar to them. I have more knowledge about people that are asexual. I recommend this book for teen collections. My library will be purchasing this book.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the DRC.

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Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me this Arc in exchange for a honest review..

I honestly loved this! Seeing how the author struggled with their sexuality and how they were afraid that they were broken, really broke my heart. No-one should have to feel like that no matter what the issue/topic is.

There needs to be more books/graphic novels like this to show, describe and explain what its like for people of all sexual orientations and mental health issues to help them to try and find the answers they're looking for.

And as for the author talking their OCD, that made me so happy. As someone who has struggled with OCD for 16 years, its nice to see it been so openly talked about and how easy the author explained what they're feeling and going through.

Definitely recommend this and hope to see other authors following this kind of example of talking about sexuality, mental health, relationships and social issues within their writing!

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How To Be Ace is the graphic novel I wish I had when I was young, lost, and confused. I was 30 before I ever heard of Asexuality, spending my entire life thinking that there was something wrong with me and that I was somehow "broken" because I wasn't like everyone else.
This book felt like the author had peeked into my own life and wrote out what I'd always felt going through my young life.

I absolutely recommend this book to anyone questioning this part of their identity or just looking for more information to support a loved one. I've already bought a couple copies of this book to give to friends who are exploring their own asexuality.

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(I received and ARC from the publisher, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review!)

A beautiful #OwnVoices story about the struggle that is being ace nowadays, in a hypersexualized society where asexual people are told that they simply need to "find the one". Split into six chapters, each of these explains a different challenge that ace people usually face: the disinterest in discussing sex, the fear of being lonely forever, the feeling that nobody will get it. All in all, a very complete and multifaceted approach to the difficulties that are to be expected when one belongs in the ace-spec in our society and culture.

I really liked Burguess' heartfelt, honest depiction of the difficulties that asexuals face. The way she felt broken, lonely, and wrong, just... Resonated with me, because I've been there. There was also a very brave representation of OCD, which I really admire Burgess for having broken down so clearly. I also really appreciated how she shared the importance of representation, as it's a very common (if often unconscious) way of queercoding that affects the ace community a lot. Although this isn't a topic that's usually covered when talking about ace awareness, Burgess still included it in her book, and I'm grateful that she did.

All in all, this is a graphic novel that I'd recommend to anyone and everyone. Not only to ace people who want to feel less lonely, or to questioning people that may wonder whether they fit in the ace-spec. I'd particularly recommend it to everyone else, so that they can get actual insight into what being asexual is and feels like. It's just so beautiful to see how, finally, ace voices are beginning to be heard!

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Within this artistic, honest, and heart-warming memoir How to Be Ace, readers are introduced to author Rebecca Burgess as they provide a window into their life starting from high school as they deal with school bullies and trying to fit in with fellow students, which surely many are familiar with at some point in their own lives, along with navigating through their culture seemingly focused on sex. As they transition from high school to college life, Rebecca struggles with their confusion about why they feel so different regarding the intimacy of sex and relationships, along with experiencing anxiety and OCD. Despite the many hurdles they face, they learn to understand and embrace their asexual identity later on in their adulthood.

Along with some interesting trivia to educate and help us understand what Asexuality is, this book is a great read because of how relatable Rebecca is because of how we all struggle to fit in somewhere in the world and within our social circles while facing certain social norms and expectations placed on us. There is an uplifting message that despite all the challenges and sometimes seemingly hopeless situations thrown at us, we all have a chance to find out who we are, not who we are expected to be, and become happy by accepting that. That being different isnโ€™t wrong, but what makes each of us unique.

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Rating: 4/5
Synopsis: "When I was in school, everyone got to a certain age where they became interested in talking about only one thing: boys, girls and sex. Me though? I was only interested in comics."

This graphic novel is a memoir that follows Rebecca through her years in art college as she navigates personal questions like "Why am I not interested in sex and relationships when all of my classmates around me are?" and "How do sex and relationships in the media affect culture and crowd thinking?" I also liked the way OCD was shown and the response the the therapist gives for helping with that.

I wish I had this book a few years ago when I was in college myself. I developed severe panic attacks stemming from undiagnosed OCD and have realized only recently that I fall into that gray area between ACE and not. I identified with the author, as I also grew up loving Japanese comics and the same TV shows that Rebecca loves as well (including the more obscure work like Gravitation and Brideshead Revisited). It was almost surreal reading this and found my self identifying with someone more than I usually do with main characters.

Overall, I enjoyed this graphic novel and think it's a great resource for others who are experiencing the same feelings or for people to just learn more about Asexuality in general.

(For Goodreads: Thank you to NetGalley for sending me a free eBook in exchange for an honest review.)

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