A very honest book from a point of view not often featured. Very charming drawings. Highly recommended.

Thank you Netgalley for letting me read this book in return for an honest review.

How To Be Ace is a beautiful book about Rebecca's journey through asexuality as well as other important milestones. The art is very pleasing to look at and the story of Rebecca is nice to read, even the harder parts of their journey.
Rating: 4⭐
Would I Read It Again? Yes
Would I Recommend it? Yes

Special thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review

There was a period of my life that I thought I was asexual, but it turns out I just genuinely wasn't interested in anyone I went to high school with. With this graphic memoir, I think it's important to remember that this is the author's experience with being asexual, and she repeatedly says that others who identify as asexual may have a different definition from hers. She even explains a few of the various types of asexuality in simple terms, making it very easy for anyone to understand, so do not fear.

I can't imagine how annoying it must be when you tell someone you're not interested in the physical aspects of a relationship and they say, "Oh, you just haven't found the right person yet!" or "Well, you'll never get married if you won't have sex!" As if they are literally the one and only asexual human being out of 8+ billion people and couldn't possibly find a partner. Anytime you go against a societal norm you get the same general type of response. "I am simply aghast that you don't want to do what I want to do! What about that movie I watched on television last night?! The guy ended up with the girl and they had two children, a boy and a girl! It was so sweet! Why don't you want that, too?!?!"

Aside from the ridiculous and occasionally really mean comments that the author endures, this graphic memoir explores more than that. It's a memoir after-all. We go through Rebecca's life as a child, teenager, art school student, an adult during the recession. I went in thinking this would focus solely on her asexuality, but luckily we got a look at the entire person, who is not only asexual, but has OCD and panic attacks. She's also very talented and a really good friend.

I really enjoyed this. I would recommend it to anyone who needs a help understanding asexuality a little better, it sure helped me.

Happy reading!

Asexuality isn't covered enough, so it's nice to have a book that features it front and center. What I do take issue with is that it's titled 'How to Be Ace,' implying that it offers guidance to individuals curious about asexuality. It doesn't, in my opinion. It's a graphic memoir, so it does a great job of sharing the author's experiences in relation to being asexual, but the title is quite misleading.

I absolutely adored this! Seeing ace experiences so candidly told is so important and necessary. The artwork was amazing and I just really appreciate this book as an asexual.

I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley.com and the publisher to read and review.

As this boook is a memoir, I find it really difficult to review, but I'm going to do my best!

Rebecca uses this graphic novel to tell the story of growing up "different". She has no sexual attraction to anyone, and she struggles with thinking perhaps she's just not ready for sexual contact yet, or that everyone has to force themselves into being comfortable with being touched and touching others. It's a long road that she travels, but in the end, she finds friends that understand her, and she grows into her identity as Asexual.

Rebecca also has the extra struggle in that she has OCD, and that often rears its ugly head when she's stressed, so feeling pressured by people to be social or in any way intimate can cause those issues to flare up. She does get therapy for some of her problems, and though it doesn't seem to work that well in the story, she does say that her OCD is less overwhelming now, and that if she does get panic attacks, she can talk to her partner.

This graphic novel is a great representation for those who are Ace, as long as they remember that this is ONE person's story, and that every story will be different. It tells an awfully large bit of Rebecca's life, but it does it in a way that is neither overwhelming or too dark. The illustration of the graphic novel are fun and not overly stylized, which is a nice thing to see. It makes the story more personal feeling, and I'm glad to see that Rebecca's art made this book even better.

Thank you so much for allowing me to read an EARC of this book. I found this novel to be really enjoyable and informative. It gave me some valuable info while also telling a great story of self identity & discovery.

I'm aromantic and asexual myself, and I'm very excited to be able to review this book during this year's Asexual Awareness Week!

Honestly, the chapter titles already hit me HARD. Like... that in itself already almost made me cry. Then of course I was full on crying from how relatable it was from the very first few pages. I have to admit I teared up a couple of times, because Rebecca's life experience was so incredibly similar to mine.

Because of that, this was such an incredibly relatable and validating experience that made me feel really seen. I think it would be a great resource for people who want to learn more about asexuality out of interest or because they're questioning if they're on the asexual spectrum.

One small thing I didn't love was how aromanticism was presented as an identity under the asexual umbrella. Allosexual (non-asexual) aromantic people exist, and aromanticism is its own identity/umbrella.

Rep: asexual, wlw, OCD

CWs: bullying, OCD, aphobia, mlm fetishization

A lovely graphic memoir exploring themes of asexuality, mental health, growing up and carving a place for yourself in the scary real world, told with undeniable tenderness and care. On top of it all, you have the lovely illustrations accompanying the already great text, which makes the story come to life.

Thank you Netgalley and publisher for opportunity to read this book.
It was an amazing journey. As ace person I find stories as this really important to share with the world. The art is so pretty, and it's like the perfect mix of information and graphics.
Love it!

I received an e-copy of this memoir on netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Damn, this hit hard.
This was like opening up my head and seeing how I feel (minus the OCD part). I don’t talk about this type of thing because I feel like being asexual gets dismissed which this memoir captures. Don’t get me wrong, I’m never going to be someone who shouts about my sexuality (i feel weird saying that when referring to being ace) and I’ve never used the label because it freaks me out but learning that it’s real and other people feel the same is so powerful and important.

This memoir shows the authors journey in believing that she was just ‘behind’ compared to peers, thinking being friends with someone means they love them and trying out relationships but feeling incredibly uncomfortable with any physical contact. Eventually the author finds someone who loves and accepts them (and is ace too)!

This book not only discusses discovering asexuality and accepting yourself, but also getting that ‘happy ending’ in a relationship where how you feel is accepted and your partner doesn’t pressure you into anything.

I feel like this is something that everyone should read. If you’re a teen (or any age really) who hates physical contact, doesn’t have any desire to have sex or just generally wanting to understand asexuality more, read this! This shouldn’t be the only thing you read on this topic but this is a great place to start.

This is basically what I wish Loveless was.

I related to a lot of the experiences in this memoir and I feel like it shows very truthfully how a lot of us feel. Even if I have never necessarily been uncomfortable with physical contact, I got the pressure one feels when somebody confesses to them.

I can't speak for everybody but this memoir was quite relatable in my opinion and the artstyle is cute.

However, I'd probably recommend for you to read it physically because some of the images and words were too blurry on my phone, or that could have been the arc format 🤷🏻‍♀️

Overall, if you're on the ace spectrum or curious, I'd defo recommend to give it a go, it's a graphic novel/memoire type of thing so it's a pretty quick read.

I love graphic novels and this was a funny and heartfelt one. I will definitely be rereading this one soon!

How to Be Ace: a memoir of growing up asexual is perhaps an incomplete title. This is indeed about author Rebecca Burgess‘ growing up asexual, but it is also about their dealing with severe mental health challenges, not only OCD, but also phobias and severe anxiety. It is about the experience of someone who is not only asexual, but also specifically sex-repulsed and highly ambivalent about physical touch/ affection in general. This is an honest, earnest, skillfully illustrated graphic memoir about a comic book artist who survived. Despite everything, the confusion of understanding themself and of learning what being asexual meant, in general, and in their own life, despite their serious mental health struggles and both intentional and unintentional cruelty from people around them, Rebecca survived and is here today to share their story with others. The topic of asexuality is still not well enough understood, even in LGBTQ circles, and is considered controversial by some. Rebecca’s own experience reflect that fact. So their story is a valuable addition to the available literature on the asexual experience and community.

I appreciated the efforts made at representing diversity in this book. While Rebecca presents as a white Briton, and as such, the personal part of their story can be very white, they have made an effort, when illustrating more general concepts, and showing the people around them and in media, to include Black and brown people as well. Obviously, as mentioned above, this book also does a good job representing a part of the LGBTQIA experience and mental health struggles.

I think this book could give a lot of hope to kids and teens who are realizing that they are ace, and for the adults in their lives who love them and want the best for them. Adults who are ace may also appreciate seeing some aspects of themselves represented in a memoir. I especially appreciate that in addition to Rebecca’s own story, they include resources at the end of the book, mostly online resources, but also a few books on the topic. Even for those without a personal connection to the topic, Rebecca’s story will certainly provide better understanding and empathy for the needs and experiences of those on the asexual/ demi/ graysexual spectrum. I also recommend this for the attractive art and the honest and heartfelt story.

"How to Be Ace" is a really touching graphic novel about one of the less visible LGBTQAI+ labels.

I liked the art style and how some pages were dedicated to educating the reader about aspects of asexuality.

I could relate to a lot of aspects of the author's experience since I am also not the most socially-adept person so it was a really interesting read for me to see how similar she felt to me in certain social situations.

Personally, I had a much easier time realizing my asexuality and coming-out so it was really sad for me to read about how others may have had a much harder time with it, doubting their own feelings and thinking that there is something wrong with them.

I would definitely recommend this graphic novel to people wanting to learn more about asexuality and asexuals trying to relate to other asexuals.

Really loved this. There's so much here that I relate to [both good and bad] and also a lot that I don't [I'm aro and ace so my experience is a bit different] but it's still great to see how other ace people feel and all the things that we share and that also make us different. A great book to read if you're ace and also very informative if you're just trying to learn more about it. I really hope we get more books like this in the future!

As with any memoir, some parts were more relatable than others. I think it's a bit misleading to title the book "How to Be Ace" when in fact I'd say it's more about the author's struggles with anxiety and OCD than her sexuality, but it's compelling reading nonetheless. The art isn't the best I've ever seen but it's not bad. I think the book will inevitably end up being compared to Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe and it's not going to win that comparison in my opinion, but there's plenty of room on the shelf for two different graphic memoirs of the asexual experience!

How to be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Asexual by Rebecca Burgess is a fantastic graphic novel. We follow Rebecca as she reflects on her experience in school, college, and post-grad life as she explores her sexuality. She describes how she was never interested in sex and felt pressure to conform to fit society’s narrative. We also see Rebecca experience OCD along with panic attacks and the impact this had on her daily functioning.

I appreciated seeing the author work through her identity and mental health, along with her personal growth. My favorite illustrations were the depictions of a weight being lifted when the author discovered she was not alone in her experiences. It was so powerful and freeing.

I am so happy this graphic novel is out in the world for people to feel seen and heard, as the author expressed in the book there is a lack of asexual representation in the media. I recommend everyone check out this quick and impactful read.

*4.5 Stars*

This memoir is tells us about the author growing up as an asexual woman, from high school to after she leaves uni.
It also dives into mental health issues and bullying and more.

I really like this. By now, we all know there's not one asexual experience but loads of them, and the more they're being told the better it is. As an asexual woman myself, I saw a lot of me in this memoir but, also, just as much that was different from me. And I loved that.
I also loved the drawing style and the little "lessons" in between chapters.
It was also very well organized and such a very fast read.
I will definitely be buying of physical copy and will be on the lookout for more books from this author.
A must read for anyone and everyone in and out of the LGBT+ community.

Let me be uneloquent for a second because... WOW. I feel overwhelmed at how represented this made me feel, and it's the loveliest feeling in the whole entire world.

How to Be Ace is a memoir about Rebecca's journey with her sexual identity and her mental health. She has never felt sexual attraction and she doesn't necessarily care about sex or being intimate with someone. However, these feelings are the ones that are "promoted" by her peers, the media, and society in general. I completely related to Rebecca and the feelings we shared, growing up feeling I was weird since I didn't have the same interests as everyone around me and, like Rebecca, I had to fake it.

This graphic novel illustrates her journey, her thoughts, the ups, and downs and it was a humbling experience to be able to read it. To see myself in her words, and the relief she felt when she discovered asexuality existed.

This was far more complex than I am perhaps making it out to be, but I highly recommend it. If you also identify as a-spec, if you want to understand asexuality or what it means to be asexual, please read this. I wish this was mandatory reading and I wish I had this as a teen.