I knew I needed this in my life since I stumbled upon the artist's Instagtam. Just these single pictures made me feel SO SEEN and I shared them with everyone. The whole book is just like that - a warm hug from an online friend saying "I see you, you're valid."

Rebecca Burgess does an amazing job of connecting a deeply personal and relatable story with information about what asexuality is, how it's a spectrum and different for everyone, and how difficult it is to be ace in our society. It's a beautiful graphic novel and I'll definitely recommend it whenever someone asks for ace rep recs or to understand asexuality better.

We can never have enough ace stories. Not until all a-spec people know they are valid, not until people don't have to stumble upon a description that will explain their life randomly on the internet after years and years of wondering why they are broken (I've never met an a-spec person who found out about aro/ace spectrum anywhere else), not until we don't have to follow every coming out with a PowerPoint presentation.

I'm so grateful that this book exists 💜

TW: aphobia, panic attacks, OCD

*Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.*

How To Be Ace is a graphic memoir that explores the author's journey to learn about and come to terms with being ace as she graduates high school and starts at art school.

The watercolor art was so cool and I really liked the way the story was told.

The title kind of makes it sound like there's only one way to be asexual, which is obviously false and the book does shortly touch on different labels under the ace umbrella. But I also feel like I should note that this is a memoir about one person's experiences and that being ace can be so different from one person to another. There were a few pages of more fact based info and I almost wished there'd been just slightly more of those.

That noted...
I really liked this book. It was great a great read. I loved how the asexual experience was portraited in words and illustrations. There were many times where the story got a little bit too relatable.

This book is also about more than just being ace, since Rebecca also has OCD which is also covered.

Overall a beautiful, hopeful, and emotional memoir.

We live in a world where every time you stop and look around, you will find something that is sexualised that shouldn't be. The idea that 'sex sells' has taken over in media, marketing and Western cultures in general with such a huge emphasis put on how much we should embrace this to be considered 'normal'. This has occurred since the beginning of time, however, it has accelerated exponentially in recent years and we have been completely surrounded by and have no escape from this rampant and ubiquitous sexualisation from noon till night. Teenagers, in their formative years, begin talking about the opposite gender and sex but those who are asexual feel as though there is something wrong with themselves as they are simply not interested in it. It's high time more people knew what being ace actually means and it be treated like other LGBTQ+ statuses.

How to be Ace is, at its heart, a memoir detailing the struggle Rebecca Burgess went through in order to understand why they were different from others around them. It begins with school life where they were bullied terribly for this individuality. It's highly relatable, and I feel this should be an imperative read for all children and also adults wrestling with the idea that they could be asexual. It is a humorous and honest account of growing up and navigating the world as an ace. This is an important book which helped me feel less alone and is reflective of many aces experiences. It is a graphic novel which will resonate with youngsters right through to adults such as myself, especially as people take this journey to self-identity at different times in their lives. I know it would've certainly helped me to understand myself more had I had a book such as this in high school. Highly recommended. Many thanks to Jessica Kingsley for an ARC.

I am asexual and do not think it is hyperbole to say that this book will change lives.

I'm now in my 40s, and if there had been an easily accessible book like this in my teens or 20s I know I would have felt so much less broken, damaged, and alone. Even now, with the online resources and community we have, it's so easy for ace people to feel like there's something inherently wrong with them no matter what age they are or where on the asexual spectrum they fall.

There were lots of things I identified with personally that made this an extra special read for me (like our love of the same manga series and that we're both neurodivergent) but anyone, ace or not, can find something to relate to here and educate themselves on the wide spectrum of ace feelings and identities.

The fact this book exists is going to bring so much support and comfort to so many people, and I hope that every library and bookshop will keep a copy in their permanent collection. It really is that important.

This graphic memoir focuses primarily on the author's time in college/university and her first few years out of school. The main topics she delves into are her process of learning about asexuality and recognizing her lack of sexual desire as valid and her anxieties/OCD. This could be really educational to teens who are asexual but don't have the words for it or, like Burgess, are constantly told they'll have sex someday and their feelings are invalid. It is also an important read for teens and adults who are allosexual but who want to learn about asexuality. The author acknowledges that her experience of being ace may be very different from other people's experiences, and that asexuality is an umbrella term that may encompass other identities as well.

The content of the book was excellent, and I appreciated the additional resources at the end as well. My only issue with the book was that I occasionally had difficulty reading some of the scrawled writing, especially when it was particularly light or blurry.

This review has been taken from my goodreads, which has been linked below

" Although you can't control the world around you, you can control how much you want to do at any time "

I am not ace myself, so I came into this expecting to look at it from the point of view of someone who is looking to be educated on asexuality and the issues faced by someone who is on the ace spectrum. Hearing about the truly horrible ways that the author has been treated throughout their life was really emotional for me. I like to think I am relatively educated on this topic, so I knew the really unfortunate general view the world has of asexuality but some of the things that Burgess has heard made my head spin.
I also enjoyed that this also brought up the whole ace spectrum and what those different labels mean, and how even within those labels peoples experiences are wildly different.
This truly shines a light on how much this world pushes the narrative that a relationship and sex is the goal in life, and how that affects people who are not able to for one reason or another. This also talks about the authors experiences with panic attacks and OCD. These sections felt powerful, raw and sensitive. I often find that graphic memoirs aren't served by the medium, but I truly think How to be Ace uses it perfectly to get across feelings and situations.

I would definitely recommend this as a source for education on the Ace experience and I truly hope that this will be found by some people that may be struggling with questioning their identity.
Overall, a beautiful source about finding who you are and becoming okay with what you find.

Thank you to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and Singing Dragon for approving me for a copy for review via Netgalley

This book comes out tomorrow!! I think this is going to be a very important story for a lot of people. Rebecca burgess wrote a graphic novel memoir about her experience discovering her sexuality and learning more about herself and relationships, as well as dealing with OCD and going to therapy.

As someone who has recently started using the asexual label, I have really been interested in finding more stories involving asexual rep. I do experience romantic attraction, and I’m married, but have no interest in sex. I am lucky that I haven’t had too much of a struggle with my sexuality, but I have felt a lot of guilt, and felt like something is wrong with me.

How to be Ace was really great because of course the asexual rep, the OCD rep, and the artwork. I really enjoyed reading this story and I think it would make a big impact for anyone who sees them-self in this story but also be important for everyone to read and learn more about it. I think asexuality isn’t talked about too much and a lot of people don’t understand it, and I think it was explained really well here! Since it’s a graphic novel, it’s a quick read so I really recommend to pick this one up if you can!

I’m so glad more books like this are being published. I can’t imagine how different my life might had been if I had found out I was ace sooner. I was really glad that this discussed how there are many different ways to be ace, since I think there is a lot of similar stories/rep so far. I was also really grateful that it showed an ace relationship, as most books have one ace and one non-ace partner, and I don’t think I’ve ever read something that showed an ace/ace couple. I think this author did a good job of mixing memoir and information. The art style was not necessarily for me, but I think this is a graphic novel that will be vital for both ace and non-ace readers alike. I did also like that it touched on aromanticism, tho I wish it had talked a bit more, since ace and aro identities often get conflated.

Perhaps the most important thing about the title of Rebecca Burgess' new book <em>How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual</em> is the word memoir. This is by no means a guidebook for what it's like to be asexual. As with many things, there is no one way to experience something <em>especially</em> a sexuality. In the end, this is just Burgress' story.

<b>As a memoir</b>

I'm actually rather fond of memoirs. I appreciate them in any format, really, and graphic novels are definitely quite fun. Since <em>How to Be Ace</em> is a memoir, however, it's not exactly as educational as I maybe would have liked. Part of the reason I pick up books like this, after all, is to broaden my understanding of things I do not personally experience. And while this is certainly a great read, if you're looking for something more in-depth about Asexuality, this probably isn't the best book.

That said, Burgess does include a list of sources at the end of the book that are definitely worth checking out.

<u>You Can Learn</u>

Of course, this book wasn't meant to be wholly an educational resource. Instead, it's a look at various experiences the author has lived through as a result of being asexual. I think the most important takeaway <em>anyone</em> can leave this book with is understanding society has negatively impacted the ace community in many ways. One of the worst existing in the way these people are often overlooked.

You see, even within the LGBTQ+ community, there is an obscurity to this kind of sexuality that results in microaggressions and feelings of ostracization. And, at the end of the day, the world needs to progress to the point that mistreatment and obscuration of asexuals is no longer the norm. The best way to do that is with building awareness.

While this memoir is not going to educate everyone on all the aspects of asexuality, it is a great start to building awareness.

<b>As a Graphic Novel</b>

I loved the artwork in this. And perhaps I am biased as a result of my love of this book, but I think this format was the better one. I honestly don't think that the book could have been better in another format. There was so much to appreciate about the artwork, especially the way emotion was portrayed.

You spend pretty much the whole novel in Burgess' head, experiencing a brief look into the experiences Rebecca faced. It's certainly not everything, but there's definitely a lot to learn from reading this book.

<b>As a Story</b>

Books like Burgess' are so important, but they are not the only books on the topic you should read. One memoir is not going to educate anyone nearly enough on a subject they have not experienced for themselves. Even your own experiences likely won't be enough. While I loved reading this book, it's very clear to me that there is a lot more reading to be done on the subject matter that it addresses.

And that's a good thing. This is a great starting point. I hope to read much more in the future.

<em>I was provided a free copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.</em>

This review will be live on the Reader Fox blog on October 21, 2020.

I got an ARC of this book.

I got super excited because ace rep. That was all I needed to get this book. I am ace and I so rarely see ace anything. I was really hoping that the Burgess could get the definition of ace right, since that is the main issue I have with ace rep. Burgess was able to do that so I was so happy. That was my main criteria for good rep, sadly.

Burgess mentions that asexuality is varied and there are different ways to be ace. She very much focuses on how she doesn’t want to have sex or do sexual things, that is how her asexuality works. That is not how my asexuality works, but she allowed for my asexuality to exist so I was still able to see myself and see different ways of being ace. So the ace rep was pretty awesome.

My biggest issue with the book is it feels like it is more about OCD and anxiety than it is about ace. So much of the book is about Burgess handling her mental health and learning to cope with things. I can get why they are intertwined, but it made it feel less like an ace memoir and more like a mental health one. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t what I was looking for. I wanted to see ace as the main identity and main focus of the book. So it being overshadowed by OCD (which I would have LOVED a full OCD memoir by Burgess. Her art and her story telling would have been fantastic for this) made me like this book less.

The art was great. I loved how personable it was and how it was approachable. I worried when I read that she was an art school person. Art can make or break a graphic novel. Thankfully Burgess’s art matches her story telling. It worked well together.

Overall, not a bad book, but not what I was really hoping for. It had the right definition of ace (and even allowed for kinky aces to exist!), but it felt like it focused more on OCD than on being ace.

I have always wanted to know a little bit more about asexuality and this graphic novel was very helpful for explaining it to me. Reading about Rebecca's story was very eye-opening and emotional. It made me feel so frustrated that people have to deal with these experiences and hurtful comments about who they are as a person, when how they choose to live doesn't even hurt other people. This book also turns love into a totally subjective thing because everybody has their own idea of what love is, and what love is to you might not be the same for another person but that doesn't mean their love is any less valid. I like how there were little educational bits after every chapter about what asexuality is, and that there were asexuality resources listed at the end of the book. Overall a really great story!

One thing I found distracting was the font choice because it was a bit blurry on my e-reader so I had a hard time reading the parts of Rebecca's background thoughts and descriptions such as when she shows the different asexual characters she has seen on TV before. Everything is much clearer if I read the file in colour on the computer but when it was on my Kobo the font got blurry.

I love the fact that there is more and more ace content! This graphic novel is a memoir of what growing up being ace is. It was sometimes hard to read because it hit too close to home but it should be mandatory.
Because this graphic novel educates the reader about asexuality. It's really well-made, the drawings are beautiful too!

The messages conveyed in how to be ace are so important! (about the importance of sex education in schools, about the sex-dominated society we live in, judgments, etc) It raise awareness and children and teens might feel, finally, aknowledged.

This was a great read! I’m not asexual, and I learned a lot from reading this graphic novel. I appreciate that the author was willing to share her story. I think that a lot of people will find it helpful, both those who were learning like I was and those who see themselves reflected in these pages.

I'm not typically a graphic novel person - I like the mental work of creating the imagery of a story in my mind - which is why I am surprised by how much I loved this book. In "How to Be Ace" Rebecca Burgess walks the reader through her personal experience as an asexual person. The narrative opens up the intersections of her romantic, sexual and mental health struggles as she makes peace with who she is and how she loves. At the end of each chapter she offers important insights into the broader ace experience. I loved the way that Burgess was vulnerable through imagery and text. Her art offered an important insight into her experience of OCD and understanding her ace identity. As a result of reading this book I feel like I better understand my ace friends and students. I highly recommend this quick read as a way to get to know another important perspective in the world.

*A copy of this text was provided to me by the publisher in exchange for an honest review*

A touching, frank, OwnVoices memoir from an ace woman about growing up asexual, and the experiences and barriers she’s encountered throughout her life in regards to that identity. It’s an informative read for anyone unfamiliar with asexuality, and I especially appreciated that each chapter ended with a short educational section. The utterly delightful illustrations tie this graphic novel up in a beautiful bow, making it an irresistibly enjoyable read. Thanks to NetGalley for the advanced copy!

This was so GREAT! And it made me feel so validated, and I absolutely loved it! There were some bits that I would have liked less of and some bits I would have liked more of, which is why this is a four star instead of a five star rating, but it was overall just so great to get a graphic novel memoir about being ace and seeing my own feeling and reactions to the world and people around me reflected in a story in this way.

i really really liked this. the art style is absolutely stunning and unique.

the book follows the author’s journey to finding out she’s ace and accepting herself. she’s also struggling with ocd. i’m reading more and more books about asexuality and i’m learning more more. i wish there were more books about this topic because i really think that if asexuality is a more known of sexuality, a lot of people will realise something about themselves they wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. i would really recommend this graphic memoir to anyone!

"How to Be Ace" tells Rebecca Burgess's personal story of discovering herself throughout her life. As a graphic novel, the illustrations do not overwhelm the dialogue and the chapters seamlessly blend together to describe Rebecca's journey. The author goes about the book exploring their own sexual identity, questioning if they are "normal" according to society, as well as dealing with OCD. Mental health is not very often mentioned when discussing LGBTQ topics, even though they can be interconnected. As someone who has questioned my own sexuality, I think this is a great read for middle and high school students who are curious about what asexuality is, not only for those questioning their sexual orientation.

I always enjoy reading books about the ACE experience. This a memoir story of a woman who is Ace and has some struggles with her middle health. It is an informational and inspiring story, the only issue is that I didn't with the story as much as I thought that I would, which is a let down for me, but not the author's fault. Overall, How to Be Ace is a story with great representation.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an arc of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book needs to be in the hands of kids. Not only to ensure that Ace kids can see themselves, but also to give non-ace people insight into asexuality.

This graphic novel is a memoir depicting the many stages of discoveries, struggles, and self-acceptance that Rebecca Burgess has gone through so far. This novel doesn’t claim to have all the answers, but the conversations it opens up are the heart of the story and I was very impressed. I also really enjoyed the ‘fact’ pages at the end of each chapter. These pages gave the opportunity for even more guided conversation.

Going into this story, I identify as Aromantic, and while that does fall under the asexual spectrum, I’ve never considered the anxiety that the social pressures of our sexuality obessed society can cause. I’ve walked away from this story with a new understanding of a new point of view and I really hope to see this graphic novel in classrooms and libraries.

Overall, How to Be Ace is achingly beautiful and accessible and the art is adorable and enhances the mood of each chapter very well.

I received an e-ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.