This comic had everything to please me: graphics that I adored, a heroine in which I found myself a lot on certain aspects and the idea that we are dealing with the question of asexuality.

And I really loved the graphics. Just like following the course of this woman's life from adolescence to adulthood with all the questions she asks herself. The OCD that this creates for her, her anxieties, her misunderstandings, her fears ... I did not experience exactly the same thing when I looked for myself as a demi-aroace lesbian woman, yet I found a number of similarities with my own story.
But I have one regret: that it stays on the surface. Being myself well informed on the subject it is true that I would have liked the subject to be a little more in-depth but at the same time, for a person not knowing or in questioning, this comic is perfect to answer the questions that we can ask. All the more so with the pages at the end of the chapters which explain various things vis-à-vis asexuality and aromanticism.
And however, despite this little hint of disappointment, I appreciated that we finally see her as a couple, to show that a person ace is not necessarily to shun couples relationships. Just like the page explaining that an ace person can have sex.

In the end, although I would have liked to dig a little deeper into the subject, I still like the way it's treated and I find it a good title to address the issue of asexuality.

This was a very fast, easy to read graphic memoir that I think would be great for ace people who feel alone or like there are no other ace people, and for non ace people to help understand how it feels to be ace.

the art style in this was so cute and colourful, and while the novel dealt with difficult topics, i think it did so in a very straightforward, easy to understand way. I also appreciate that while it is a memoir, it is told in a way that is almost like fiction, and yet also is an informative source for understanding asexuality.

I think this would be a great starting point for people who know nothing (or very little) about asexuality, and I could see this being a good resource to have in schools.

Thanks to netgalley for sending me an early copy of this graphic novel in return for my honest thoughts

4/5 stars

Thank you to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley for providing me with an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review!

Trigger warning: This book mentions alcohol, anxiety, bullying, OCD, rape, and sex.

How To Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual follows Rebecca Burgess’s adolescence as they navigate a culture obsessed with sex before they ultimately come to understand and embrace their asexual identity.

I really loved how this memoir was a graphic novel. It did a great job at illustrating Burgess’s emotions through each experience they encountered. The end of each chapter also had a page that discussed answers to questions like: What is asexuality? What’s the difference between sexual and romantic attraction? It made the information easy to understand and wove in perfectly with how the chapters were structured.

For readers who may be unfamiliar with asexuality or want to become better allies, this memoir shows how each person’s experiences are unique and that sexuality is a spectrum — there is no one size fits all definition for anyone. I enjoyed reading about Burgess’s progression as a artist and how they developed in their friendships, education, family life, career, and eventually, a relationship.

Burgess’s story is a personal and important resource for an underrepresented community. After reading everything, I really loved how the clear message from Burgess was that life isn’t perfect — there will be struggles, sacrifices, and successes — but it’s most significant to understand and accept who you are.

As someone who has never dated or been in love—and also never had a powerful drive to experience either—I felt so affirmed by reading How to Be Ace.

Not gonna lie, when I first read the title I was a little apprehensive about the possibility of upholding a monolithic idea of what being asexual “means.” (Spoiler alert: there is none.) But this book did not subscribe to that notion, and I loved that it touches on different ace identities and experiences, if only briefly.

This is a heartfelt graphic memoir exploring Rebecca Burgess’ experiences as an asexual person with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). They speak about transitioning from high school to college, attending art uni ("Art uni always consisted of students only materializing when they felt like it!" —this made me laugh), struggling to find work during a recession, and having phobia-related panic attacks.

Above all, Burgess champions the visibility of ace people by sharing the joys and struggles of being an asexual person in a society that does not recognize or have much knowledge of asexuality—which leads to ace folks being stereotyped, misunderstood, marginalized, and assaulted.

They speak about the overwhelming fear, panic, and sorrow of having no language or point of reference with which to understand oneself. They share tidbits of information about asexuality—including identities that fall under the ace umbrella, ways in which ace folks have and enjoy sex, and the difference between romantic and sexual attraction. They (literally) illustrate the importance and uplifting excitement of having ace representation in media. And they describe how they fell in love (with another ace individual): underscoring not only the difficulties, but especially the singular joys that are unique to ace relationships.

I adored the watercolour illustrations and only wish that there had been more panels devoted to education and information (maybe explicit use of the terms “sex-repulsed” and “sex-indifferent”), and perhaps intersectionality of race and culture (though I understand that this is the author’s autobiography and they are speaking to their own experiences).

Bottom line: Real, poignant, and affirming—we STAN challenging heteronormative ideals of intimacy!

CW: bullying, anxiety, OCD, rape

I really enjoyed this book, a coming of age journey that points out the lack of education about asexuality. I'm a big fan of graphic novels for providing an accessible way to learn and this book does that perfectly. I liked that this story was about both mental health and sexual identity. The author provided content notes at the beginning of the book, which is always appreciated.

3.5 stars

<i>Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review.</i>

<i>How to Be Ace</i> is a graphic novel memoir about the author’s experiences with asexuality and mental health. A combination of person reflection and educational information, this graphic memoir showcases some very underrepresented identities.

I thought <i>How to Be Ace</i> was deeply reflective and almost painfully relatable. The author captures some experiences and feelings about sex and sexuality that are very rarely talked about—it was comforting to finally see someone explicitly express a lack of interest in sex. I also thought the detailed descriptions of anxiety and OCD were well-done—honest with all the unpleasant but real details left in, but written in way that wasn’t insensitive to the reader.

Overall, this was a fantastic memoir/educational piece for asexuality and OCD/anxiety. At some points it was a tiny bit slow and disjointed, but I immensely enjoyed the representation. There were some great discussions about the ups and downs of asexuality; this would definitely be a great piece for someone to either relate to or learn from, regardless of their sexuality.

Content warnings (thank you to the publisher for providing these at the beginning of the book!): mentioning of bullying, anxiety, OCD, rape, sex, and alcohol

Asexual is not something you need to hide for or to be ashamed of.
This graphic novel takes you on a journey about asexuality and how to come to term with it.

I loved it 💕 the explanations, illustrations, the struggles they are real and it’s awesome how it comes together in this novel 📖💕🙌🏻 Well done.

Definitely something I recommend reading 💕💕💕

A bit more memoir than I was expecting, but good to see ace representation and be able to watch one person thinking through things and gaining self-understanding. I wish the informational bits in between the chapters were longer than a few pages each, and included more about the ace spectrum and different kinds of ace experiences. Also has a well-done and realistic portrayal of anxiety and OCD. The art was friendly and engaging. There is nothing in here that wouldn't be appropriate for a teenager. The mom is a great model for support and acceptance. This would be a good one for someone to stumble across in graphic novel section and realize it might apply to them, as a way of discovering a new idea.

How to Be Ace by Rebecca Burgess is a beautiful story of being human. The art is gorgeous and I applaud the author for boldly and creatively exploring identity and self. This book should be honored and read widely.

When Rebecca was growing up they weren’t interested in talking about relationships and sex like the rest of their classmates. They didn’t understand why sex was such a big deal but assumed they’d “grow into” it when they got older.

They tried to have relationships but it just didn’t feel right. They thought that something must be wrong with them.

It wasn’t until they were at university that they began to accept that being different was okay and that they didn’t have to pretend to be like everyone else.

Rebecca’s story takes the reader from the bullying they experienced in childhood through to managing their mental health. Information about asexuality is scattered through the graphic novel, with insights into what relationships can look like for people who identify as asexual.

There was a greater focus on mental health than I had expected. I didn’t personally learn anything new about asexuality from the panels that provide information but they do give readers a good introduction. I anticipate that being able to follow Rebecca’s journey from struggling with their sexuality to their eventual acceptance of who they are will be helpful for readers who can relate to her experiences and provide new understanding for those who don’t understand asexuality.

There are resources at the end of Rebecca’s story.

Content warnings include anxiety, bullying, emetophobia, OCD and mention of sexual assault.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity to read this graphic novel. I’m rounding up from 3.5 stars.

I really enjoyed this autobiographical graphic novel about growing up ace. I'd recommend it to anyone: for ace people, there's some really positive representation; for people wanting to know more about asexuality, the author does talk a bit about other people's experiences and other identities which fall under the ace umbrella; and for anyone else, it's just a really great story about growing up, figuring out who you are and looking to find a place to fit in.

How to be Ace, deals with a lot more topics than I first realised that it was going to, including anxiety and OCD. I felt that though the text and visuals it dealt with growing up and trying to understand yourself or find yourself very well. With a real emphasis on self-love and I definitely feel that we could all do with a little more of this especially at the current moment. Thank you so much to NetGalley and publishers for giving me the chance to enjoy this.

How to Be Ace is a graphic novel memoir about the authors experience of being asexual and how it affected relationships while growing up. The title is a bit misleading because it also talks about dealing with OCD, anxiety, introversion, and life after college. I think it depicts an accurate representation of what life is like after college in dealing with money, finding a job, and constantly stressing out. I learned a lot about asexuality which I only had a brief knowledge of before. The author gets very personal and shows that there is always hope and the importance of self-love. I think it's very knowledgable graphic novel and showcases great representation of sexuality and mental illness.

Thank you to Netgalley and to the publisher for sending me an advanced copy!

The author's story is not highly unusual but is well told in words and in pictures. Not exceptional but it does portray both the maturing and thought process of an asexual person and more general elements of asexuality.

"How To Be Ace" is an honest story about growing up and realizing exactly who you are.

I really appreciated Burgess's candor throughout this novel. She presented her overall message of self love honestly; simply; and beautifully.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to enjoy this book!

How to Be Ace is a graphic story on the author's experience growing up as an asexual. I loved the art style and found the story very easy to follow and well organised into distinct sections. I really enjoyed the education panels at the end of the sections giving more general information on asexuality.

However, because the story focused on the author's life experience, it wasn't solely about asexuality. The author also touched on OCD, anxiety and the struggles of finding a job after university. Picking up a book called "How to be Ace", I was expecting more of a focus on asexuality alone and a lot more education on the different types of asexuality and how it impacts people's lives.

As an autobiographical story sharing one person's experience of being asexual, this book is great. However, I think the title and description are misleading and led to me to be disappointed by the book.

I really loved reading a comic about asexuality, while my experiences growing up ace and aro weren't like that, now I feel really grateful for my friends in uni, we hang up together and while they were getting partners, they never asked me why I didn't, and later on, when I came out to some of them, they were really accepting. I wish this comic helps more aro and ace to accept themselves.
The comic also speaks of OCD and anxiety in a real way, the drawings were really pretty, and I hope it helps people with mental problems too.
We should get more representation in media and this was a really good step in that direction!

I feel like there has been more books on asexuality recently, with Alice Oseman’s ‘Loveless’ being one that comes to mind. With more people talking about asexually and with more people identifying themselves as asexual, it’s finally earning its recognition as a valid sense of identity.

In this graphic novel, Burgess talks about her own life, and how she discovered her sexuality after years of struggling with fitting in at school and not being in sync with her fellow classmates, whose priorities have shifted to sex and relationships. What I enjoyed was how the story didn’t just focus on Burgess’ asexual struggles. She often talks about her issues with mental health, and the big adjustment her life took when she went to university. There were so many moments I could relate with so much empathy, because it felt like she was describing my feelings. The new environment, the need to feel like you have to force yourself to be sociable at parties to avoid being seen as weird, and how adrift and disappointed you feel when the things you should be interested in don’t appeal to you and how it singles you out from other people. It was strange just how much I related to this.

I liked how Burgess educates us on asexual issues, but balances it out so that’s it’s not overloading or monotonous. The ones who don’t know much about asexuality can learn so much, and those who already know it won’t be drowned out by already known facts. There were even some here I hadn’t been aware of, so that was effortlessly done. Although the title mentions being ace, Burgess doesn’t shy away from opening up about her other struggles, making her more than her sexuality. I know this seems like a dumb notion, since this is a memoir, but I’ve read too many books where characters and people are literally just defined by their sexuality and nothing more, so the more fleshing out, the more happy I am. And again, the employment struggle straight out of uni felt like looking in the mirror!

The imagery on some the pages is great, but the art is not the best that I’ve seen, but it didn’t distract me.

This is a very personal and revealing memoir on learning about your own sexuality, while also navigating through life struggles, but showing there is hope. It’s educational and enlightening, and I would recommend this to anyone.