Breathtaking, innovative, and raw; this once in a lifetime memoir has cemented Gina Frangello as one of my favorite authors. Chronicling the dissolution of her marriage due to an affair, Frangello writes this memoir as also a feminist manifesto that is best consumed slowly and thoughtfully. This book is a triumph.

Now, this was a truly difficult one for me to make the decision about DNF-ing but, unfortunately, I did. I actually enjoyed the writing, and I appreciated her insights, and I can typically understand adultery, given the circumstances and other people’s situations… but to start justifying doing so because of the way her husband breathes when he sleeps? As a person sitting in a hospital room right now, with a partner who is breathing funny because of major lung surgery… I kept trying to return to this one and just felt more and more irritated with her flimsy and transparent excuses for her behavior. Just get a divorce, already, and stop calling it feminism to treat someone you claim to love (and who you chose to marry) in this way.

This is one of those memoirs that is very difficult to review. It seems very honest and she seems to know she isn't entirely likable--an affair is a big plot point but I also found it strange that it seemed to hinge a bit on the trope the feminists are unlikeable. It came across as a little try-hard to me. I get it, you are edgy and were an edgy teen. Cool cool.

This is a story about betrayal & humanity.

I have so much ambivalence around this book! On the one hand, I love the bravery & defiance of a memoir that is transparent and vastly differs from the typical self aggrandizing self discovery journey in which the only flaws are quirky and ultimately benign. This is a book full of insight and honest accountability for some awful things. I’m a little in awe of that. On the other hand, I didn’t enjoy reading this. It reminded me a lot of something I once heard about a terribly bleak indie film- that medicine is supposed to taste bad & the film was supposed to make you explore that feeling... but that’s just not typically for me. So, I’m left uncertain how to rate this. It certainly accomplished what I think it set out to, and the writing was excellent but I never want to read it again.

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️/5

Thank you so much Netgalley &
Counterpoint Press for this eArc!

I tried to read this, but gave up about 1/4 of the way through. It was definitely a DNF for me. I would still read more by the author. However, I just didn't connect with this story.

2/5 Stars

I loved the look into feminism after disaster but I couldn't connect with the book at all. I feel like I was kind of just thrown into it.

I was enthralled with the experimental forms in this memoir. In particular, The first section, written in the second person did an amazing job with that POV and as a memoir it was mind-blowing.

Reading the book left me with mixed emotions. It was sad and depressing to read the author implode her marriage and family for an affair with a man who was rather high maintenance himself. I wasn’t shocked by what I read but the author attempts to justify her actions, then take full responsibility, and then proselytize on other subjects. Much of the hardship she endured was stressful to read, including her elderly parent’s decline and her own health issues. One question I kept wondering was is it worth it.

REVIEW: Blow Your House Down by Gina Frangello

Thank you to Gina Frangello, Counterpoint Press, and NetGalley for an eARC of “Blow Your House Down” in exchange for an honest review.

Synopsis from NetGalley:

“Gina Frangello spent her early adulthood trying to outrun a youth marked by poverty and violence. Now a long-married wife and devoted mother, the better life she carefully built is emotionally upended by the death of her closest friend. Soon, awakened to fault lines in her troubled marriage, Frangello is caught up in a recklessly passionate affair, leading a double life while continuing to project the image of the perfect family. When her secrets are finally uncovered, both her home and her identity will implode, testing the limits of desire, responsibility, love, and forgiveness.”

“Blow Your House Down” is a memoir that deeply challenges the black and white perspective that we normally have when we view infidelity. Frangello throws you into the tangled grey of her life that is captured alongside her affair with her lover. This book is beautifully and powerfully written as it explores patriarchal standards set for women, the concept of the perfect family, and the trauma endured by women. It’s a love story to motherhood and an acceptance of our individual shortcomings.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I would think starting this book, but Frangello’s writing is so engrossing and visual. I feel like I could easily see this book translated to some kind of stage adaption. She expertly makes you question yourself, and then question yourself again.

If you’re looking for a non-linear memoir that makes you think, “Blow Your House Down” is an excellent choice!

“Blow Your House Down” will be published April 6th, 2021.

I love Gina Frangello for writing this book. Reading it felt like I'm Wallace Shawn in "My Dinner With Andre." Only, female. Reading it felt like I'm sitting down over a long dinner with Frangello. I wouldn't interrupt. Not even to ask questions. I'd just sit there and listen. A little stunned. Ok, maybe I'd ask her why she is so hard on herself. I might say, at some point, that she need not feel quite as guilty as she does about sleeping with another man, when the man she's married to breathes in his sleep in a way that makes Frangello feel like clawing paint from the walls. I can't decide if I'm allowed to laugh at some of these sentences and some of these sentiments. This book isn't funny on the same level as Gilda Radner's famously funny yet hard-hitting memoir, "It's Always Something." It's more bitter. It has a much more vicious bite. It has more righteous rage all around than Radner's book. And yet I did laugh, because Frangello made me face the truth over and over again of just how absurd these lives of ours are on this earth. All of us. All of our lives. I think Frangello would forgive me for laughing.

I’m always down for a good memoir but this one stumped me. It was so all over the place and honestly I lost interest after a few chapters but since I’m not one for giving up, I kept at it secretly wishing it would just end.

A true page turner the author holds nothing back.Her marriage the affair she is having her struggles with motherhood,A book that makes you think about feminism question its role in our intimate lives.Abook that will engender slot of talk perfect for bookclub discussion,#netgalley#counterpointpress

What a freaking page turner. Book had me guessing from page to page and I never wanted to put it down. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

A discussion on feminism simultaneously with the recounting of one woman's failing marriage and clandestine affair over several years. The author has been raised with all the feminist principles of independence and autonomy, yet still clings to the adoration of men (once her husband, now her lover) as self-definition and also validation.

I received an advanced reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review

This woman has had a very crappy life and it took me a while to figure out where the feminism was. But it hit me. Women devote their lives to caretaking. To their families. After their children are born, they let their fires go out. So her argument that an affair is in a revolutionary tracks to a degree.

3.5 and very depressing

Gina Frangello is a wonderful writer who has bravely examined her marriage (before it finally ended), her affair with a married man, and her unique experiences as a daughter, friend, mother, and cancer patient. Her pain and vulnerability really affected me. I kept turning the page because I could relate to the feelings of entrapment she describes, and I wanted to see her come out whole, not broken, on the other side of her affair and divorce. Frangello certainly has a story to tell, and I’m very glad that she didn’t sign the non-disclosure agreement that would have prevented her from writing about her ex-husband. Hers is the kind of story I’ve wanted to read; I think many women will be consoled by it. That being said, I wondered about some of the creative choices. I found this memoir a little bit unwieldy. The direct address (if that’s what you call it) in early parts (the use of “you”) didn’t accomplish much literarily, and the headings throughout the book seemed at times unnecessary or inadequate in holding the narrative together or scaffolding it. Which is to say this memoir seemed a little messy to me (even if it’s beautifully written at the level of the sentence), but maybe that’s because life is messy and it’s hard to sculpt a narrative out of real life. In any case, this is a lovely book that shines thanks to Frangello’s honesty and thoughtful consideration of love, maternal expectations, misogyny, and more. I’ll put it on a shelf next to the poet Nick Flynn’s newish memoir, This is the Night Our House Will Catch Fire.