Cover Image: The Sea Is Salt and So Am I

The Sea Is Salt and So Am I

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4.5 Stars

On the slowly eroding coast of Maine, three teenagers are about to experience a tumultuous sea of change. Eli and Harlow have been best friends since the day they met, when she moved to their small town at the age of nine. They have been so close they are almost one entity. This closeness destroyed the link between Eli and his twin brother, Tommy. Now, they hardly know how to say two words to each other, with Eli so focused on track and his future plans with Harlow and Tommy sinking deeper and deeper into depression. When the latest devastating storm starts up, Eli and Harlow witness Tommy diving into the treacherous sea. He is saved from his attempted suicide, but it leads to new truths and changed plans.

An emotionally charged gut punch, this book was hard to put down but also sometimes hard to read. All three of these teens are so shaped by their lived experiences together and the haunting truths they keep buried. Harlow and Eli are toxic, but it is their dependence on each other, their desperation for each other, that makes them that way. In fact, by the end I was more empathetic to Harlow, seeing how this relationship has molded her into a "bad luck" person. When in truth, Eli has taken all of the praise, all of the adoration in order to keep her by his side.

Eli is the real villain of this story, at least in my opinion. He is selfish, uncaring, and oblivious. He purposefully hurts people and expects everyone to fold to his whims and wishes. He has little regard for his brother and destroys his happiness thinking that he knows what is best and right for him. He has little care for his other friends, only using them to his own ends, with no regard for their lives and dreams. He has stripped away so much of Harlow that any time something bad happens she shrinks away, in fear that it is her closeness that has caused the damage. He does not experience any growth within the novel.

The ending is ambiguous, so you can think the best or the worst. My hope is for the best option, that Harlow makes the right choice for herself. That she has actually grown and changed from her experiences with Eli and Tommy throughout the novel. That she is able to hear and see the truth of her friendship with Eli.

The weather and shoreline are so pivotal to the plot. They are themselves a presence and closely mimic the emotions that these three are grappling with as the novel progresses. Specifically, the sea is a mirror to Tommy, the coastal erosion is how much of himself he believes he is losing to the pills he takes for his depression. His internal struggle with his depression, his highs and lows, his taking medication versus stopping because he fears the medication is stripping him of his creativity and art. The loss of the shoreline and the raging storms can also be reflected in the relationship of Eli and Harlow and how they are slowly falling away from each other. As their summer progresses they are beginning to see the cracks and tears that are forming from their lies and secrets. One final storm could completely shatter their friendship.

But, the erosion and weather is also about resilience, about regrowth, rebuilding and protecting what remains. Like the shoreline our lives ebb and flow and change constantly. What used to be in our lives may be washed away by the years, but we still have the memories, the keepsakes, the feelings of those times. Even as we move on and try to create something new, something better for ourselves. Such beautiful imagery and language to convey such a heavy topic.

The adults in this book are, similar to other young adult novels, not very helpful for the teens. They observe very little of what is going on and often times actually fed into the hurt that these children were facing. Particularly how Harlow was treated reminded me of a scarlet woman, who is at once at fault for all the wrongs that happen, cannot seem to do anything right, and has little in the terms of support from her family, her friends, and the greater community. She is fighting so hard for a future, for a place she knows those she loves need in their lives, that she often is faded into the background of their accomplishments and accolades. I was mad at her often, do not get me wrong, for all her selfishness and her casual attitude towards her relationship with Tommy. But, I also felt for her, for the fact she was always the outsider, the bad one, the one at fault. As though these two boys are unable to make decisions for themselves, as though they have no agency, as though Eli is not himself a selfish prick, or as though what happened in the past did not happen when she was a child and running to hide from something awful.

There are moments you will hate all three of these characters, but there are moments you will also feel deeply connected to their pain, their plight, their love and happiness. It is a novel that will leave you emotionally raw afterwards, so be prepared to sit with the novel, with how uncomfortable you might feel, how unresolved you may find it. Because this book is about the messiness of life, the incompleteness as we all learn and grow and adapt to what the world has to throw at us. How we live day to day on a world in turmoil, as we ourselves are in turmoil.

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Trigger warnings needed with this book: suicide ideation, bullying, death of a loved one.
Adding these triggers is very important for this book because while it is meant to be impactful, it doesn't seem to be great representation of healthy or growing characters. There seemed to be a lack of resolution or growth that may leave readers more confused.

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I absolutely loved this coastal town setting- which was probably the highlight of this book for me. The narrative revolves around three teenagers, each with complex relationship dynamics. The depiction of these relationships was totally realized, and I really appreciated the time that the author took to flesh them out and make them 3 dimensional. My biggest issue was in the ending, which took the book down a notch for me. Overall, this was a tough read but I think one that will work for a lot of folks who want a story about mental health and friendship.

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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this advanced reader's copy and the opportunity to read this early. Review has been posted on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

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Best friends Harlow and Ellis have figured out The Plan for after high school but that quickly starts taking on water when Ellis's twin brother Tommy is rescued from a swim he never wated to return from. This book gives an unflinchingly raw look at depression at it's worse and the many levels of living with it. Told by all three main characters, their honesty with having depression or how they relate to someone with it is refreshing and adds a layer of story that stings like salt.

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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me a free advanced copy of this book to read and review.

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I had very high hopes for this book. I was excited about the unique Maine, seaside setting, the environmental changes affecting the town, and the inclusion a character struggling with their mental health. Unfortunately, I had a hard time with this book. I didn't connect to the characters much even though there should have been so much to connect with. And throughout the book, I still felt like I was missing pieces or information. It almost felt like the author new the stories, the character and the town so well that the picture was very clear to her, but was written to full fruition for a reader who doesn't know all of these things as well as she does. Just not for me, I guess.

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I was unable to finish this one and had to DNF. I just could not get in to the storyline. If I attempt to read in the future, I will update my feedback.

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THE SEA IS SALT AND SO AM I is a beautifully character-driven young adult novel about the complex relationships between three teenagers in a small town & what happens when one of them attempts suicide. alternating between the three perspectives & with a pacing that feels compelling & introspective, this book explores themes of mental health, love, and small town dynamics in unexpected ways. the artistic writing in combination with such intriguing characters made for a page-turner of a book, from beginning to end.

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Harlow Prout is determined to save her small Maine hometown, West Finch. But, no one will listen to her. Not even her best friend Ellis, who "fixes" problems by running away from them. Not to mention, Ellis's twin brother, Tommy, is struggling with depression and not up for fixing anything. When a devastating storm hits West Finch, Tommy goes out for a swim that he doesn't intend to return from. But, he does return, and it's this return that changes everything between him and Ellis and Harlow.

This story was... fine. I guess.

While I was reading, this story was engaging. It's truly beautifully written - the prose is akin to a literary fiction novel. But, I never really managed to connect to any of the characters. It wasn't a book I was drawn to pick back up after I put it down.

The only character I liked in this story was Tommy. Harlow and Ellis were both extremely annoying and immature. Which, at sixteen, is understandable. But, Tommy seemed to be wise beyond his years and the dissonance between the maturity levels of the characters was jarring. I also really didn't understand the romance or feel the chemistry. Honestly, all of these characters treat each other like crap and, by the end, I didn't really feel as though they had redeemed themselves or learned or grown as characters. The relationships were ultimately toxic and difficult to read about, and I just feel like this book squandered it's potential.

I also think the whole eco-element was interesting, but underdeveloped. I wish we had gotten more info on that plot element because I think it could have been a vehicle to carry the book forward. But, I was ultimately confused by Harlow's stance and why she cared and why no one else did, and the whole concept just fizzled in the end in favor of continuing to focus on the characters. Which, is fine, but why include it in the first place?

Needless to say, I believe this author is a talented writer. But, this wasn't the book for me.

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The writing and pacing of this book was super slow and too weird for me. Despite focusing on heavy topics, this book just seemed overdramatic and boring.

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What a beautifully written debut, Small town charm, a cast of interesting and engaging (although not always likeable) characters. A haunting book that will stay with me.

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I liked the premise of this book and I appreciate the trigger warnings, but it's honestly another example of why I don't like YA books very often. JUST TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS? WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS DECISION WHEN YOU KNOW IT'S TERRIBLE? This was less about saving a town and more about thinking making out with someone will fix things.

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Generally a good book, kept my attention. The story was great, characters well thought out, and the pacing was good. Overall, I enjoyed the book and would read more by this author!! Thank you so much for the ARC!

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What worked for me:
Setting- The premise of a small town that is getting washed away each year by hurricanes was very intriguing, and it was interesting to see how all of the different characters reacted (or didn't react) to the disappearing town.
Complex characters- I really didn't like two of the three main characters, but I thought they were well developed and realistic.
Multiple Narrators- Sometimes multiple narrators bog down the story, but it really worked this time.
Realistic View of Depression/Mental Health Issues- The Sea is Salt and So Am I doesn't flinch away from describing Tommy's mental state over the course of the book. As someone who didn't handle depression well as a teen, his progression/regression cycle felt incredibly real even if it was also frustrating at times.

What didn't work for me:
Even with everything I enjoyed about this book, there was so much more that frustrated me and/or were left unresolved or not even addressed including Ellis's issues with his leg, Harlowe's relationships with both Ellis and Tommy, and how the eroding town seems to only come up when Harlowe worried about it. Also, I hated the ending even though I understand why it was written the way that it was, and I'm even sure many readers will enjoy it or think it fits with the rest of the book.

Overall, The Sea is Salt and So Am I was an interesting debut that will be a good choice for older teens and book clubs.

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I am disappointed with this book. I was expecting one thing and received another. It had potential but it was not well written.

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Thank you NetGalley for this early copy for an honest review. The Sea Is the Salt and So Am I had a lot of trigger warnings I was unaware of such as attempt suicide, depression, animal cruelty I enjoyed the writing overall and enjoyed the action, but the plot was a bit slow. There was a lot that was unanswered and a lot that kept me guessing. I enjoyed the characters and for a debut it was okay.

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I have tried to read this book for literally months. I didn't want to give up on it because I really appreciate mental health stories, but this one simply was not for me. The plot itself also moved too slowly for my liking. I had to DNF it about a third of the way in.

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Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC digital copy. I have not been compensated for my opinion and this is an honest review.

Unfortunately, I was unable to finish reading this ARC digital copy before needing to switch to other books that were being archived. The book is no longer on my Goodreads "want to read" list, but I will update my review to reflect an updated opinion if I decide to finish at a later date.

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TW// suicide attempt, depression

First of all, I’d like to say thank you to Cassandra Hartt for including appropriate trigger warnings at the very start of the book. I don’t see trigger warnings enough in books, so I always like to give kudos to authors who use them.

That being said, my specific triggers were in this book. I waited until I was ready to handle those triggers before reading this book, but that still doesn’t stop my frustration and hatred for this book. I was suicidal for a few years in my life and I know two people who’ve passed away from suicide, so I’m very opinionated about books dealing depression and suicide. If a book is going to tackle those topics, it better do everything in its power to raise awareness for the topics, respectfully address the realities of the situation, and not make it seem like good things will come out of suicide or suicide attempts. This book did not do that. I’m at least grateful that I’ve had enough treatment for my depression to realize that this is wrong because if I had read a book like this or any book that suggested that positive things could result from a suicide attempt, I’m not sure I would be here today. I’m not saying that suicide can’t force people to reconnect as they mourn over a loved one; I’m just saying that if you put a book like this one in the hands of an already depressed teen, the messages that a book like this unintentionally presents could lead to an attempt. I’m also frustrated with this book because any sort of near death experience could’ve replaced the suicide attempt and it would've still led to the romance starting. Why make such a big deal out of it being a suicide attempt when a car crash or a roller coaster breaking down or anything like that could’ve been used to bring about the desired romance without the bad handling of a triggering subject? I know people will come at me and say “but it’s representation” because that's what happened when I spoke out about that Netflix show several years ago, but what I’ll say is that you don’t understand how harmful these narratives are until you have been suicidal and you lose someone from suicide. I hope to god none of you will experience these things, so just take it from me: there’s a difference between respectfully including mental health representation and spreading messages that could make a suicidal person strongly consider attempting.

Besides the dealing of depression and suicide in this book, I didn’t like this book as a whole. It felt like it was supposed to be a character driven story, but I hated every character with a burning passion. I was internally screaming at all the characters to just go to therapy. I guess one of them did but the others needed therapy just as bad. All of them were so fundamentally flawed from the start that they aren’t able to redeem themselves in any way shape or form in my eyes. They all treat each other like crap and have toxic relationships. Here’s the rundown of my thoughts on these characters:

Harlow: I mean she was a good friend to Ellis when it happened. I’ll give her that much, but she was to blame for a lot of what led Tommy to his decision. She hated him and made his life hell for no reason. Don’t even get me started on the fact that she literally thought that if Tommy were hooking up with girls he wouldn’t be as depressed. She’s just a crappy person that needs years of therapy to process things so that she can maybe some day in the future be a good person.

Ellis: He’s just as bad as Harlow. I get that everyone processes trauma in different ways, but he seemed so insensitive and just plain rude to both Tommy and Harlow after what happened. He also seemed to have this air to him that he deserved to have all these privileges bestowed on him and he did reckless things whenever he didn’t get those privileges.

Tommy: Someone I knew with the same name is no longer here and didn’t get a second chance like this character so reading the scenes with Tommy was really draining for me. I really related to Tommy. Some of the exact quotes that he said explained my current mental state and I understood why he did what he did, but as a character, Tommy frustrated me. His mental health was used as a plot device to stir up romance and while Tommy was a character that I would’ve otherwise enjoyed, I couldn’t bring myself to like him because of that reason.

Coop: I’m very indifferent about him. I didn’t like him but he wasn’t as bad as the other characters. The other characters just treated him like garbage for the whole book because friendships apparently don’t matter to these characters. Apparently only plans for the future matter and it’s okay to damage friendships to reach those.

Jules: I mean, I guess I liked him but he was mainly just characterized by his relationship status and that's it so I feel like his character was somewhat of a missed opportunity.

The activists: They were purposefully designed to be annoying but why bother including wildlife activists who actually have a point in what they’re saying if you’re going to make them annoying? They’re the characters who had the best intentions but they were designed to be the people who everyone hated. It doesn’t sit right with me.

All the other characters: I mean what can I say? I didn’t like any of them enough to remember their names.

And the thing about this whole book is: this author can write a dang good romance with chemistry, but if the characters are crappy characters, then the romance means nothing. This book is also pitched as LGBTQ+ but it’s not the main romance that’s LGBTQ+ and it doesn’t even start until the 50% mark, which I don’t know… I guess I was just hoping for more LGBTQ+ rep? And though it wasn’t specified, it seemed like the queer relationship was between a minor and an adult? Like a high school junior and someone who had already graduated high school. Big yikes.

The last 10% of this book was a trainwreck. Characters started doing actions that didn’t make sense and the whole story didn’t end in a satisfying way. The ending was somewhat open ended so that you couldn’t tell exactly what was happening, but that just didn’t work for me. It works for some books, but not for this one.

I was extremely disappointed by this book. From the promising premise and the cool looking cover, I’d hoped for better. I even got really sick in the middle of reading this book and instead of being annoyed that I couldn’t read, I was glad that I had an excuse to procrastinate finishing this book so that says a lot about this book.

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