Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing: Essays by Lauren Hough is a good fit for readers who appreciate unflinching, deeply personal, and often humorous explorations of identity, queerness, and survival, particularly those interested in memoirs that delve into themes of cults, LGBTQ+ experiences, and the search for self-discovery and freedom.

I vaguely knew of Lauren Hough before picking up this book, and I had no idea what a vast collection of life experiences she's had, from her military experience to growing up in a cult and beyond. It's almost hard to believe that so many once-in-a-lifetime events could happen to one person in her lifetime, but Hough tells her stories with searing honesty and a sense of humor. I enjoyed it.

I have always found cults, the mentality of its members, and the extreme narcissism of the cult leaders a fascinating topic. I typically don’t enjoy books comprised of short stories or essays, but Hough’s writing style kept me interested. I enjoyed reading about her personal experiences as a child growing up in The Children of God. I didn’t enjoy how she kept bringing up her political beliefs which didn’t add to the story. It just made her look more snarky. There were some interesting excerpts, but overall it was just an okay book.

I cannot support this author's attempt to drum up interest in their book by being terrible online. This sort of marketing campaign is distasteful and attacking people, being belligerent, posturing as a victim while simultaneously victimizing individuals with less power ... it's gross.

I very much enjoyed this story. It was wonderfully written. I look forward to the author’s next book!

To start, I did see all the drama surrounding the author and her thoughts on reviewers. I think she behaved poorly, but I also think the reviewers who immediately went and changed their reviews to one star behaved poorly. All this said, my review will be based solely on what I thought of the book.

This book was so layered and full of emotion. There was definitely a lot of anger and pain in her writing, and though I can't say I have experienced a quarter of the trauma she has, she is very good at connecting with the reader. I was also shocked at how funny this memoir was--there were so many quirky, genius bits that she threw in that kept you entertained but also horrified.

Powerful, painful, at times hard to read. Lauren Hough is a master storyteller and I'll read anything she writes, to be honest. Can not recommend this more.

Discussed on Episodes 121, 128, and 131 of the Book Cougars podcast.

https://www.bookcougars.com/blog-1/2021/episode121
https://www.bookcougars.com/blog-1/2021/episode128
https://www.bookcougars.com/blog-1/2021/episode131

I was fascinated after learning about this author and reading the blurb initially. The book was longer in each essay and definitely could have done better with some more editing. I couldn't completely finish it.

I also did not feel great when the author attacked some reviewers. Its not cool at all.

Rough, raw, emotional. This is beautifully written in such a way that even though it isn't your story, you can feel the pain.

I heard this author on NPR being interviewed by Terry Gross and was intrigued. The book did not live up to my hopes but there is some good writing in there about the military and the cult and how the two are similar. The essays were hit or miss and maybe too much about her sex life. A raw energy on her hardscrabble life with drug use and getting over the cult life.

A wonderfully vivid collection of essays, Hough’s book is a brilliant escape into alternative realities. From her childhood in a cult to her harrowing experiences in the military to her various odd jobs once she’d escaped both, Hough’s life can feel like a collection of tall tales, a la “Big Fish.” But the emotion she puts into each piece really immersed the reader into these shockingly true stories. Some are hard to read. Others you’ll want to read again and again. I laughed, I cried, I yelled at the book, I begged the imagined Hough in my head to be my best friend.

Hough has such an authentic and inviting voice. Her writing is both passionate and heartrending and pulls the reader in so they feel as if they are there with her. Her chapter about being in jail was incredibly moving and thought provoking and may have been my favorite in the book. It really painted a unglamorized and honest experience that tore at you and made you feel like you were there too.

I received an ARC from NetGalley for an honest review. I didn’t know about this book until someone recommended it to me and she is a person that rarely recommends books . I have never read a book of essays. I was intrigued by someone so young writing a memoir. This author puts it right out there what it was like growing up in a cult, being a lesbian in the military during Don’t Ask Don’t Tell , being homeless and so much more. I was drawn in right away. It is mind blowing to me that a person can be so vulnerable and throw in some humor in her writing too. The treatment she received was so wrong it made me sad, mad , sick to my stomach and depressed. This book isn’t for everyone but I would recommend it to those people I know who would feel the same as I did when reading it.

I really enjoyed this book (apart from the negative controversy from goodreads). It was a page turner!

This collection of essays that tell the story of Hough’s very interesting life were full of sharp wit and poignancy. I laughed and cried while reading this because Lauren’s writing style is just wonderful. I was surprised to learn that she spent some time in my hometown of DC and even visited Nation nightclub around the same time that I frequented it, which gave me all the nostalgic feels for the old, grimy days of the late 90s rave scene. I enjoyed reading Hough’s debut essay collection and look forward to more. *Advance copy provided by the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

Not a fan of this author's behavior after seeing the author having a tantrum because they received a 4.5 star review and the ensuing drama, and won't be reading for that reason.

Lauren Hough grew up as a part of the infamous cult, The Children of God, where she as a child and teen was expected to do her part to make sure the males in the group were satisfied. As part of the cult she moved around the world. As an adult, she joined the military and dealt with the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy as a lesbian. She's held many jobs such as bouncer and "cable guy" and even did a stint in prison. In this collection of raw, honest essays, Hough shares her experiences reckoning with her life as a child who grew up in a cult and being a working-class lesbian in the south. I found the essays to be engrossing and well-written. I recommend this one to fans of #ownvoices essays, telling the real life experiences of people that are outside main stream America.

3.5 stars, rounded up to 4.*

I stumbled upon this on a few recommended spring release lists and it sounded interesting. Then I saw there was a big ole juicy controversy and you know I had to read it.

Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing is the memoir of a middle aged American woman who grew up in an obscure religious sex cult in the 70s and 80s. That's like THE venn diagram of things that fascinate me. Memoir, Cult, 70s/80s pop culture.

The controversy is about how the author got angry about less than 5 star reviews. Meh. I don't care. She survived a SEX CULT. As in as a child she was made to have sex with weird old guys. I'll give her a pass for losing her temper on the internet.

The book is really well written. I found her story fascinating, if a bit more guarded than I would have liked. Nonetheless, one cannot fault her for making fun of her trauma or turning to drugs or living on the edge when she got out of the cult.

I'd recommend this one. And I would read more by Lauren Hough.

Lauren Hough grew up in a cult, and left it--more than once. She spent five years in the U.S. Air Force, a gay woman serving during the era of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. She worked as a bouncer, a "cable guy," a writer. She's been homeless, incarcerated, beaten, assaulted, threatened, loved, left, happy, bored. She documents all of this--and more--in the aptly titled Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing, a searing collection of 11 personal essays.

Despite the harsh realities that Hough has faced throughout her life--harder even than living in, or leaving, a cult--Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing is never bleak, infused throughout with Hough's wit and sense of humor. "I've learned, if not to expect the worst, not to be surprised by the worst. I'll cry in frustration when my Internet's out, but when my car bursts into flames, well, that seems about right."

That's not to say Hough's humor lets herself--or her readers--off easy. In every essay in this collection, Hough peels back layers and layers of harsh realities to expose the raw, often violent underside of a society that fails its most vulnerable members time and time again. From that underbelly, Hough emerges as a strong, independent, queer woman: proud of who she is and what she will become, ever reckoning with the systems of injustice that forged her and determined to tear them down as she moves forward. It's impossible to step into Hough's essays and not appreciate her candor and honesty, her willingness to be vulnerable and real--and to see those traits as calls to do the same.

Discover: In this searing collection of 11 personal essays, a queer woman raised in a cult documents her experience surviving the unsurvivable--both in the cult, and after leaving it.