A mostly light high school romance book about one of the few Black girls at a private school in Austin, Texas. She keeps a notebook filled with various lists that ends up in the wrong hands. The plot was good but I felt like the various characters didn't fit together as well as they could have. Not my top choice for teen romance books but a decent read for those looking for something new.

Quinn is a high school student who has a strong (and quite unhealthy) attachment to her journal. Her journal contains many lists that are full of her desires, her regrets, her fears, etc. Her journal accidentally gets swapped out for another person’s journal and it turns out that person is someone she *mildly* hates which is Carter. He accidentally took her journal thinking it was his and ends up losing it. Not soon after, pictures of the pages inside her journal get posted and she is blackmailed into doing the things on her list (her greatest fears). She enlists the help of Carter, which was the one who last had the journal (as far as she knows) and they end up going on a journey to 1) complete the tasks and 2) find the person who stole it.
I absolutely loved the characters in this book, although Quinn was a bit annoying at times. I just couldn’t see how she could lie to her parents so often and not feel guilty every second of the day. I personally loved Livvy (Olivia) the most. Her personality was just something that made her liked by pretty much all.
I wouldn’t consider this book enemies to lovers but it was definitely slow-burn.
I also loved how this book was so diverse as well as an own-voices story. It tackled issues like racism and identity very well. I loved how Quinn developed throughout the story and grew to love every aspect of herself and flaunt it.
Thank you HarperTeen and NetGalley for sending me a digital Arc for an honest review.

I'm kind of torn about how I feel toward this book. On the one hand, the writing and characters seemed pretty average to me, but I still enjoyed the plot and the new relationships that formed during this book.

The characters were pretty good generally but my favorite was definitely Olivia. She felt the most dynamic as an individual character. I think the author failed to make each character a fully-created individual but did a great job illustrating the complicated relationships between humans. The book explored, spousal arguing, bullying and stereotyping, new and old friendships, new romance, self-identity crises, and more. I liked seeing the relationships evolve and change.

The author approaches the subject of race from multiple different angles and I liked the messages that went along with these approaches. I will admit that, as much as I loved the discussion, it did sometimes feel more like the author inserting certain things rather than a natural continuation of the story. But still, there were a lot of beautiful and thoughtful portions of the book regarding race and being Black.

The plot itself was interesting at first but my interest started to dwindle pretty quickly after that. Some parts seemed rushed while others seemed to drawn out. By the end everything seemed to be concluded a little to perfectly for my liking.

Overall this book was interesting. I liked the messages and discussions in this book more than the writing or characters. It was a good book but I wouldn't be in a rush to read more from this author

I liked this young adult book simply because it did not have a tragic ending. I loved the representation and commentary on the real issues some Black students face when they don’t fit into certain stereotypes that are placed on them. I also loved that these characters were smart and had promising futures in front of them, as well as being talented.

High school senior Quinn writes all her fears in her journal so she can get them out of her head. That way, she never has to face them, right? Until her journal disappears, and a blackmailer forces her to confront her fears one by one. Otherwise, her secrets will be revealed to the entire school. Can Quinn get her journal back before it's too late?

There aren't enough stars to express how good this book is. Quinn is so locked into the identity she creates in her journal, she doesn't know how to escape it. What starts out as a tool to organize and express her thoughts instead becomes a prison. It's only by being honest with others and with herself that she can set herself free.

This is a brilliant, insightful YA romance that will probably make you ugly cry. I mean, books never make me cry, but this one did. Because there's a little bit of Quinn in each of us. The author revealed Quinn's vulnerabilities so gently and compassionately, it was like being exposed and healed at the same time.

The way racism was handled in this book was also cathartic. I hope it will give young people the courage to say in their own lives, "this is not okay." And I hope it will give adults the courage to teach kids how to set boundaries and what to do when those boundaries are broken.

Okay, I'm going to end this review now, before I start crying again.

Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC I received. This is my honest and voluntary review.

"Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry" is about Quinn and her journal in which she keeps all kinds of lists. These lists tell her everything she needs to know about herself, they hold her deepest secrets. So when her journal one day goes missing and some of her lists end up broadcast all over social media, she enlists the help of Carter to help her find her journal and catch the thief.
I really enjoyed this book! I felt like I could relate to Quinn a lot: sticking only to what she knows, needing a lot of encouragement and convincing to step out of her comfort zone but enjoying herself once she does. The plot is really intriguing on its own, but all the subplots surrounding friendships, romance, and race elevate the story to a higher level. I read this story on my phone and I can't wait to own a physical copy!

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry is an #ownvoices YA romance debut novel by author Joya Goffney.

4/5 stars for me!

I don't venture to YA Romane often, but this book had everything that I wanted in reading this genre.

Synopsis:
Quinn is a Black girl, one of only a few at her high school. She is a senior and is hiding some very big secrets! Quinn uses her red notebook to jot down ALL of her thoughts and to make "lists" about EVERYTHING. She uses the notebook to express her fears instead of facing them. When her notebook goes missing, she blames the boy that was last in possession of it - Carter. When a blackmailer starts exposing Quinn's lists to the school, she is forced to confront her list of "things she needs to do before graduating." Skeptical that he isn't the blackmailer, she teams up with Carter in order to tackle this list before the blackmailer posts more of her secret lists!

"It's a little hard to change when you have a journal telling you who to be."

What I loved:
In many ways, Quinn is like a lot of teenage girls, anxious, scared to death of the future, and disappointing her parents. This was entirely relatable, especially the angst she faced on this front.

However, Quinn's teenage years have also been filled with racism and racial slurs from her "white friends." We learn how deeply Quinn's sense of self has been affected and how tremendously difficult having no Black friends has been for Quinn. While crossing off the items on her to-do list, Quinn makes friends with some of the other Black kids in school and begins discovering herself and her identity for the first time. Seeing this transformation in her self-esteem was one of the best parts of this novel.

While there were some parts to the ending I thought were predictable and abrupt, the overall messages in this book outweighed everything else. I had all of the feels for Quinn and Carter and I think this is such an important book for young women of any color to either identify with Quinn or to learn how your actions can affect people around them.

I would highly recommend this cute, empowering, emotional novel!

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins Children's Books for the eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry is an #ownvoices contemporary YA romance by debut author Joya Goffney. Within the chapters of this novel, critical, and relevant topics like internalized oppression, racism, classism, cyber bullying, dementia, the pressure to succeed, mental health, avoidance, and denial all intersect in the life of our protagonist, Quinn.

Quinn’s parents, the only successful, affluent Black family in her town, have been planning for Quinn to attend Columbia since before she was even born. Yet Quinn isn’t quite measuring up to Columbia’s standards, but Quinn can’t tell them. Not only will her parents be devastated, it’ll collapse the fragile balance of her explosive home life.

Quinn’s friends, Destany and Gia, seem to have forgotten one very important fact about Quinn: she Black. And that means it’s absolutely NOT COOL to say racist things (like the n-word!!!) around her, or AT ALL. But Quinn never speaks up, because she can’t rock the boat, even though staying silent twists her guts into unimaginable ropes.

Carter Bennett can’t STAND Quinn. She has it all and is completely oblivious to her privileges, her power, and her Blackness. The LAST thing he needs is to be forced to work with this Princess on a class project.

Then there’s the matter of Quinn’s journal. Her spiral bound notebook where she religiously makes lists. She lives and breathes those lists. Her thoughts, fears, wishes, and her most terrible deeds are all documented in a seemingly safe place. Until Carter Bennett, bane of Quinn’s existence accidentally picks hers up instead of his own.

Here’s where the hijinx ensue:
-Carter starts reading the journal, and after seeing his name on a particular list about kissing, he couldn’t stop if he wanted to.
-The journal is lost
-A fake account messages Quinn letting her know they have the journal and have found her list of terrible secrets
-They post her greatest fears list and threaten to post more unless Quinn completes every single item on the list and sends proof
-The post and the tasks rip Quinn’s static life apart and only through née friendships and accepting her identity can she hope to make it through
5/5⭐️
Thanks to Netgalley and Harper Audio for the arc and audiobook!

Sometimes you need to blow up your whole life to find the pieces that matter most. When type-A high school senior Quinn loses her journal—well, to say she freaks out is an understatement. Her whole life is in it, comprised of lists ranging from Movies with Intense Rewatchability to Things That I Would Never Admit Out Loud. But then she gets a message from the blackmailer who tells her she has to complete one of her own lists before she’ll get her journal back—the one called “To Do Before I Graduate.” Thinking she has nothing left to lose, Quinn decides to go for it—and soon discovers that speaking your truth feels good, and maybe blowing up her life was the best thing that ever happened to her.

This book was everything I've ever wanted from a romcom — I laughed, I squealed, I giggled, I couldn't put it down.

The Rundown:

Quinn Jackson is a senior in high school, and she plays the part of the girl who has everything: she's friends with the popular (white) girls, is going to Columbia (an ivy league) after graduation, has a neighbor she's head over heels for (who might even like her back), lives in a big house on the nice side of town and drives a brand new Mercedes — courtesy of her surgeon father and lawyer mother. The problem is most of it just an act.

She didn't actually get into Columbia, her parents are fighting all the time, she's not talking to her best friend anymore, and Matt — her cute neighbor — is more into Destany than her. But it's all good — she manages all this by keeping lists in her notebook. Very private, very revealing lists about every detail of her life. But if she writes it down, she doesn’t have to keep it all in. For obvious reasons, she keeps the notebook with her at all times, but things go left for Quinn when her notebook goes missing.

And the last person to have it was Carter Bennett.

But when a random Instagram account sends her a picture of the notebook and threatens to expose her secrets to the world unless she completes her to-do list, she's put on a very real deadline to make some changes in her life and start telling the truth to a lot of people about lot of things — or her journal will be made public and do it for her.

My Thoughts:

I genuinely enjoyed this book from start to finish and I don't exaggerate when I say that it's everything I've ever wanted from a YA romcom. Quinn is a Black girl who comes from a two-parent household with money. She is loved and spoiled and has a crap-ton of anxiety that causes her to keep lists in order to keep everything in her head under control. I loved that — it made Quinn super relatable in my opinion. She grew up knowing that she's Black, but was often considered an “Oreo” by her friends and classmates, as if that's a good thing. And then she had to learn to navigate those same friends and classmates when she could no longer pretend that didn’t bother her.

One of my favorite things about this book is that Quinn learns to come into her skin throughout this book — to not just know that she's a Black girl, but to embrace the totality of what that means. She learns to embrace all of herself, both her good and bad, while realizing that she still has room to grow and change — that she doesn't have to remain who she's always been and that it's not a bad thing that she isn't the same as she was before.

I loved that, and I loved Carter and Olivia. Carter is perfect in my opinion — just my type and I loved reading about him. He reminded me of some of the best parts of my own husband and I was rooting for him over Matt from the very beginning, so I'm glad that panned out. Carter is fine as hell and starts all this when he mistakes Quinn's notebook for his own then loses it. But he's also the one who does everything he can to help her find it — to help her keep her secrets from being posted to the internet. Of course, he makes a mistake here or there, but what I loved about Carter is that he put energy into fixing things with Quinn and didn't just leave things to "work themselves out" — and I love a man (or book boyfriend) who puts in work. More than that though, I loved how their relationship grew over time — Quinn didn't just fall for him overnight and ditch her feelings for Matt, they actually spent time together. They talked, laughed, almost-kissed, teased each other, text and talked on the phone all night. Those things mean a lot, and I'm glad we got to see it. It gave me plenty of squeal and giggle moments.

I also loved Olivia because she is the friend that Quinn deserved. And I like that, in the book, Quinn considers what her life would be like had she had Black friends like Olivia and Carter sooner. And she acknowledges how it's different from having nothing but white friends. Olivia was great because she wasn't perfect, but she was fearless. She came with flaws, but she was still there for Quinn and — most importantly — didn't ditch her when she could have been seen as having every right to. She and Carter both came through for Quinn when it mattered the most and, in my opinion, that's everything — the mark of real friends.

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry gave me so many emotions and just pure happiness while reading it. I felt lighter after reading this book because even though Quinn was full of anxiety in the beginning and had to face some very real issues in her life, she allowed herself to be uncomfortable, to grow, to change, to embrace herself and become a better person. She allowed herself to fall outside the lines of her perfectly drawn life to see that what's on the outside isn't so bad. The dynamic between her and Carter, and her and Olivia felt genuine — like how real friends would interact with each other. Her butterflies whenever Carter caught her staring, or brushed her hand, or called her on the phone was spot-on and I lived for every moment of it.

The romance and the comedy in the book were just my brand of authentic (enough that I laughed out loud several times) and made me feel like it's never too late to change — to have a fresh start — to embrace who I am fully, even if it isn't who I was yesterday. This book made me excited for the future and I'd read it a hundred times for the first time if I could. I truly can't wait to see what Joya Goffney writes next.

This book had a great premise, but it didn't live up to its promise. The description made me think the book was about Quinn dealing with her missing journal, but that aspect of the book felt like an afterthought. The majority of the book is Quinn worrying about everyone finding out about her secrets. Also, I had a hard time with Carter as a love interest. Carter spent the majority of the book lying to Quinn, which made it had to be sympathetic towards him. There were some aspects of this book I enjoyed. Quinn's parents' had a great backstory and Olivia had the potential to be an amazing character. I would happily read an entire book of their stories. This is the author's first book and while I didn't love it I will keep reading her books.

While Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry was on my TBR, I wasn't planning on requesting it. Luckily the publisher reached out about it and I'm so glad they did. I loved this so much!

I'll first state that I'm a white reader. But I think the way the author talked about race can be super helpful for teens. Things are explained so well and I think they might understand things better after reading books like this.

Quinn is a black teen living in Texas. It's Austin, but still. There are very few black kids in her school and her only friends have been white. Her best friend, Destany, made some comments at a party and Quinn basically ghosted her. Destany thinks it's because Quinn's crush, Matt, asked her out. But that's not it. Quinn realizes that her "friends" say racist things, including using the N word in front of her and she never said anything. She let it go and that was wrong. Quinn is a list maker. She has a journal with all her private thoughts in it. She lied to her parents about getting into Columbia and that's just one of the secrets in the journal. Another is that she hasn't visited her grandma, Hattie, since she went into a nursing home. Quinn is worried that she won't remember her. There are also things about her feelings for Matt, boys she thinks are hot, and other sexual/romantic things. There's just a lot. Quinn keeps most things inside and she's not a huge risk taker. I loved Quinn so much.

Carter is another black kid in Quinn's school. She thinks he's hot, but that's about it. When they are paired up for a school project, Carter and Auden go to Quinn's house. Carter is confronted by Quinn's dad who mistook him for a criminal robbing the house. Carter is livid and leaves pretty quickly. But he took Quinn's journal instead of his own. Then he loses it. Whoever took it starts blackmailing Quinn. They also release the info about her not getting into Columbia. Everything is a mess and Quinn doesn't know what to do. Carter offers to help. Even though she doesn't trust him, Quinn accepts his help. She has to do things on her first list and show proof or more pages will be released. Carter introduces Quinn to Olivia (Livvy) and they get along so well. Quinn realizes how much different it is to hang out with people that are more like her. It's less stressful and they understand her more than Destany ever did. The growing friendships were so fun to read about. Livvy was a favorite for me. Quinn starts having feelings for Carter, but she's afraid. He does push her to do more and live in her head less.

"It's a little hard to change when you have a journal telling you who to be."

The kids visit colleges and go out to a concert in Austin. Quinn drinks way too much, but she's having fun. She still has a lot of secrets including things she needs to tell Livvy about.

I loved everything in this book. The characters were the big standouts to me.

I gave this book 5 stars.

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my review copy.

Warnings for racism, major income differences, Alzheimer's, bullying, blackmail, parents fighting, single parents, teenage drinking.

I was given a complementary copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Quinn is a list maker. She keeps a journal full of lists that she would never share with anyone. When her journal goes missing, she frantically tries to find it. But when a blackmailer threatens to reveal her lists to the entire school unless she completes certain tasks, Quinn is forced to face her fears. Even though she ugly cries throughout, Quinn becomes stronger through the process of facing her fears and defines her own future, one that includes a hot guy in it! #ExcuseMeWhileIUglyCry

First of all, thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for providing me with an ARC.

When I first heard about this book I was immediately excited to read it as it sounded like To All The Boys I've Loved Before.

This story follows Quinn, who is only two months away from graduating high school. She keeps a journal in which she documents all her deepest secrets, until one day this journal goes missing and she's blackmailed into facing her fears.

I ended up really enjoying this book. My favorite part was getting to see the immense character development Quinn goes through. It starts off with a girl unsure about herself and her future and ends with someone who is confident and not afraid to go after what she wants. I like how you get to see her relationship with her parents evolve as she goes from doing what's expected of her to accepting that she needs to do what makes her happy. Also, I really liked that Quinn was able to build friendships with people who connect and understand her.

Things I didn't like about this book was that it did feel cheesy at some points. Especially in the beginning of the book as Quinn would often make immature choices.

Overall, I would recommend this to anyone who is a fan of contemporary romance as this was a fast and cute read.

4.5 stars

Please excuse me while I (ugly) cry and scream about this book. Yes, this is the second book that actually brought me to tears. It wasn't ugly crying or full-on sobbing (which I did when I finished reading Allegiant by Veronica Roth), but my eyes were definitely watering at around 80% of Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry. No tears escaped, but I'm still counting it as crying.

I admit that this book had a slightly rocky start in the sense that I didn't like Quinn and Carter. I didn't like Quinn for lying to her parents, and I didn't like Carter for being unnecessarily mean to Quinn. However, these two characters grew on me, and I came to love them and their dynamic by the end of the book! I don't know the exact moment where my attitude towards Quinn and Carter shifted from "dislike" to "like", but if I had to guess, it would be when Quinn started to actually make an effort to become a better character and when Carter actually started to care about Quinn.

But Olivia (Livvy) completely stole the show. I love how strong she is. I love how independent she is. I love how supportive she is. I love everything about her, and I really appreciated her friendship with Quinn.

I finished this book in a few hours because I was intrigued to find out who the blackmailer was and how the parents would react to Quinn's lies. And there was that part of me that was completely obsessed with the relationship between Quinn and Carter. I wouldn't exactly describe it as enemies-to-lovers per se, but it was definitely a slow-burn romance!

And finally, the diversity was a huge plus! Quinn, Carter, and Olivia all are Black (or half-Black). I also really liked how the book dealt with racism in a high school that had a majority of white students.

Overall, I highly recommend this book!

Alright, Netflix, since YA romance seems to be your thing: You better start paying attention to this book.

This was such a sweet, fun read. It manages to address very serious issues while also feel light and warm. Joya Goffney walked a very fine line with this book, and she did it with such grace that I cannot wait to read more from her.

Seriously, this book is such a good YA romance that deserves as much hype and more than all the other current hits. I could read about Quinn and Carter for so much longer and be perfectly happy. They're complex, they're lovable, and they're exactly the kind of characters you want to read about while also wanting to be friends with them.

4 stars

Quinn is a main character who loves list but is tough to love. When her book of lists gets stolen - and then some really creepy blackmail starts - it's possible to feel bad for her but never without the undercurrent of WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! She is a compulsive liar, a fairly selfish individual (even relative to her age group), and she seems to have somewhat set herself up for something like this to occur.

These initial feelings make her turnaround so much more compelling. It's a pleasure and a relief to watch Quinn grow, repair, and start fresh over the course of this work. I was surprised by how much I grew to like her, the plot and setting overall, and the way that she, other characters, and of course Goffney treat issues surrounding race.

This is a great read that gave me much more than I anticipated initially. I'll be recommending it to students for the long haul.

Recently, I've been having a hard time sleeping due to, in all honesty, mental health issues. I'm increasing my self-care (i.e. facials, meditation, doodling/journaling) these days, which leads me to an increase in books. Especially romance!
The upcoming YA coming of age romance fiction "Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry" by Joya Goffney (@joya.goffney) is what the doctor ordered.
The story centers on Quinn, an overly enthusiastic list maker who has lists from "Things That I Would Never Admit Out Loud" to boys she would like to kiss. Her journal is her loyal yet voiceless confidante where she can be honest yet also not face her fears, worries, and secrets. However, after her journal goes missing, she is blackmailed into completing a to-do list of all her worst fears.
This is another book I am scared to gush about because, not only is this a debut, but it is coming out THIS MAY (Stay Tuned)! Goffney does an incredible job discussing race (including colorism), privilege, consent/privacy, and facing consequences. I see myself in Quinn, someone who is scared to be vulnerable and to face herself. But, I feel like, for her too, I am starting to find my courage and take risks. Plus, I love how Quinn must face accountability! The book is heartfelt and humorous yet also triggering at times (i.e. cyberbullying, racism).
Thank you so much, Doris (BIPOC Sr. Sales & Marketing Associate at Harper) for sending me this ARC (as well as the others which I will be reading).
The book is being published on May 4, 2021, by HarperTeen, a subdivision of HarperCollins. Thank you to NetGalley too! I just reviewed Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry by Joya Goffney. #ExcuseMeWhileIUglyCry #NetGalley

This book centers on Quinn and the drama that ensues when her journal is stolen. She keeps all of her innermost thoughts and secrets in her journal. An unknown person gets their hands on her journal and uses the contents to blackmail her. In order to stop them from airing out her secrets on social media, she has to comply with their demands.

Quinn’s attempts to appease her blackmailer leads her on a journey of self discovery that I found to be very satisfying. She was forced to face her fears. She discovered the magic in being a Black girl. She found her voice. I was rooting for her to succeed. She also came to terms with her beloved grandmother’s dementia. That was especially touching for me as I had to deal with that in my real world.

The supporting cast of friends that she makes during her journey were so lovable. The enemies to friends trope between Quinn and Carter was perfect for me. Their chemistry gave me butterflies!

I found some similarities to this book and the storyline of The Black Kids by Christina Hammonds Reed. If you’re a fan of that book, I’d highly recommend Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry. I thought Joya Goffney elevated the premise to something even more magical.

I give this book 5/5 stars. There was enough angst to keep it interesting. The romance was realistic, but super sweet. The lead character was quirky, but super likable. This book made me happy. Thank you Joya Goffney, HarperTeen, and NetGalley.

#ExcuseMeWhileIUglyCry #NetGalley

oh my god. this. was. AMAZING!!!! i loved this book so so so much. i needed something like this as a kid—a story where an unapologetically black love interest is depicted as the desirable option. these characters were amazing and it was such a pleasure to read them.