I received an ARC of this novel from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

A brilliant whodunit with a long list of wonderfully flawed characters. Very entertaining.

This was pretty middle of the road for me. There aren't glaring errors or any particularly infuriating plot holes, but neither were any if the characters particularly relatable or all that interesting.

An intricately written book about a group of college students as they recollect the events that happened in their past. The characters were morally grey which is something I love reading in books. The thrill in not knowing if they're going to pick the rational choice or succumb to their inner demons' whispers is enjoying in all its essence. In My Dreams I Hold a Knife is deliciously written from beginning to end. It kept me on edge to find out the events that happened right after the other.

In conclusion, this book is a delight. The dark academia element in this book made imagining the events such a wonderful experience.

In My Dreams I Hold a Knife is an addictive twisty thriller that should automatically be on your must-read list! Six friends reunite at their 10 year college reunion. They have dark secrets, but none as twisted as the murder of their friend during freshman year. One of them is determined to reveal the truth and make the real killer pay. The story is told in dual-timelines and is very well-written. It's a surprise this is only a debut novel. The characters are fully developed. The ending is jaw-dropping. Highly recommended!!

Thank you Kaye publicity & Sourcebooks for gifting me this spectacular thriller!
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Told in dual timelines, this is an absolute binge-worthy, nail-biting dark academia thriller about love, possessiveness and revenge among seven best friends. The friends, notoriously known as the East House Seven, ruled their elite school, Duquette, during their hey days. However when one of them is murdered, they start going their separate ways.

A college reunion 10 years later brings back feelings of lust, regrets and unfinished business…particularly in finding who murdered their friend. The brother of the victim also capitalizes on this moment that he’s been waiting for 10 years, to finally bring justice. Meanwhile, the main character, Jessica, has other plans to prove her former classmates that she’s superior and most successful of them all, but in the process she must also face her old heartthrobs, Mint and Coop, who are now married to her BFF and enemy respectively. Needless to say, every one of them carries deceptions and lies and this thriller is like a fine, juicy steak where all the 7 characters’ lives get unraveled one by one.

You may think, wow that’s a lot of names and past skeletons to keep up but fear not! The author did an ah-mazing job at character development of each and everyone and you’ll find yourself constantly rooting for one character or another! And prepare yourself to change camps over and over as you go along! This is Ashley’s debut novel?! Whattttt?! She’s pure genius!!! I can’t wait for her next title!!!

Once again, I think I'm in the minority here. This book started off really good but somehow I lost interest and just wanted it to be over. I know others really liked it so perhaps it was just me being distracted while reading. Sadly, I can't really recommend it.

4.5⭐

In My Dreams, I Hold a Knife is one of my favorite thrillers of 2021! This is also one of my favorite book titles. I love stories with old friends coming back together when there's a big secret / mystery in the past. This book has alternating timelines between the present and the past, and it was even better than I thought it would be. The friends meeting in college was so nostalgic for me because that was what I really loved about my first school before I had to go to a different one. This book kept me guessing the whole way through, and it's such an addicting read. Check this out if you're looking for your next thriller!

Content notes - addiction (parent), homophobia (externalized & internalized), overdose, cheating, drugging, predatory teacher, sexual assault (not graphic), attempted suicide (off-page)

This was a really well written locked room mystery/ murder whodunit spanning a decade of time. I loved the college setting and I think the reunion was the perfect time to have everybody reveal their secrets. I really liked the alternating timelines as well, it gave the full picture of the story. I was able to figure out the murderer but I don't hold that against the book, I love trying to solve the mystery. There was plenty of suspense to jeep you reading and an action packed ending that made me unable to put the book down! I loved it and can't wait for the author's next book!

I loved every deliciously twisted page of this book!!! I was absolutely captivated by the entire story and every single detail! I loved Jessica in first person. I loved the alternating chapters between Now and back to her college days. I loved the way each Now chapter tied to a certain month in a certain year of her college life. I loved every character… even the ones I hated! I did not see the end coming and try as I might, I couldn’t even theorize! And I absolutely LOVED the end! I was so nervous because I could see it going any direction but the way it ends is absolute perfection! Ashley Winstead is an amazingly talented writer and I can’t wait to read more of her books!!!

A thank you to Netgalley for sharing the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

In a word, this was great. One elitist college reunion, six (so-called friends) so many secrets, lies, and betrayls. Sound familiar? Has it been done before? Yes, but not quite like this...Addictive, compulsive, & coupled with a narrator you love to hate. Is she sympathetic, a narcissit, or just plain deranged. The ending comes as a surprise, but once revealed, you realize that there were clues all along. Would make for quite the movie.

Jessica Miller has been looking forward to her ten year college reunion for quite awhile. She finally wants to show all her old friends and university peers how she turned into a huge success not just 2nd or third place as she had her entire life. Jessica has always suffered from insecurity stemming from her childhood issues but not anymore, she will show everyone they were wrong about her especially her close six friends (now five) who were all tied at the hip until the fateful day senior year when beautiful, talented, effervescent Heather was brutally murdered and one of their friends was accused of the crime although Jessica has always felt they were innocent but sadly it brought shame down upon the entire group of friends. Nevertheless Jessica will find that she will stand out and so will everyone else because someone is out to expose all the lies and ugly, dark secrets that be need to be told and bring the real killer to justice before they kill again.

This was an amazing and entertaining book that takes you back and forth from past to present in a deliciously, juicy telling of the seven friends from freshman year until the present. I thought the story was very clever and stylishly written and enjoyed discovering all the dirty little secrets. I hope to read more books by Ashley Winstead and I recommend this story to any reader who enjoys sinister college drama.

I want to thank the publisher "Sourcebook Landmark"and Netgalley for the opportunity to read this book and any thoughts and opinions expressed are unbiased and mine alone!

I have given a rating of 4 CAPTIVATING 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Stars!!

Great story, I thought I knew who it was from the beginning, but I was so wrong. The story had a real good pace and left me wanting to know more. Specifically Jess, I want to know more!!!

How was this a debut?! I can’t get over how good it was and I think it’s earned it’s place as my favorite thriller so far this year.
It’s about 6 friends from college who are brought together again during a reunion. They are each confronted by their dead friend’s brother because he’s convinced that one of them is responsible for her murder 10 years ago. He knows they each have secrets but which one of them is the murderer?

This was one bingeable “whodunnit” read. The chapters are short and almost always left you hanging so it was nearly impossible to put it down. I loved how the chapters weaved between present day and their college years. The story was mainly told from Jessica’s POV but the author threw in the occasional voice of someone else.. where we learn about what secret that particular person is hiding. I tried so hard to pin point who the murderer was but I didn’t guess right. I’d be shocked if someone actually figured it out! I won’t be surprised if this book wins some goodreads awards at the end of the year.

by Ashley Winstead


Publisher: Sourcebooks Landmark
Pages: 368 pages
Genre: Thriller
Goodreads Rating: 4.25
My rating: I really loved it! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thank you to Sourcebooks Landmark for the gifted copy!

SUMMARY:
Ten years after graduation, Jess is returning to her college campus for a reunion. Her only goal is to make them see her in particular way - uber-successful, pretty, and perfect. Her plan is ruined from the moment she arrives and the East House Seven are back in the middle of the somewhat unsolved murder that happened their senior year.

MY THOUGHTS:
🏫 I love campus / college thrillers, so I was really excited about this one and it didn't disappoint!
🏫 Jess's character was very frustrating. She was obsessed with the opinions of people from college and needed their validation ten years later. She was also friends with people for the status and that bothered me.
🏫 There were lots of people and names at first that were difficult to keep track of, and the timeline was sort of confusing, but after a bit I settled into the story.
🏫 You really don't know who the killer was. I found myself thinking about one character, and then you'd find out their secret and it shifted my opinion. Everyone had their secrets.
*minor spoiler*
🏫 I LOVED the ending... but I really don't like the title! If you've read this one, send me a dm... I need to chat about it!

Ashley Winstead’s debut, the hauntingly titled IN MY DREAMS I HOLD A KNIFE, introduces us to Jessica Miller, an ambitious woman going to a college reunion with a hidden agenda—to prove to her former classmates at Duquette University that she’s made it in life.

Growing up, Jessica thought you earned love by being excellent, and the more accomplished you became, the more lovable and therefore happier you’d be. And while that’s relatable for many, this is a murder mystery—and as such, the reunion soon transforms into a search for the killer of one of the East House Seven.

Winstead says the novel “is about letting your ambition and desire for success warp your brain until you’ll do anything to win, about feeling so desperate to matter that you’ll sacrifice people to climb to the top. And at its deepest level, it’s about the fear of dying as a small, unimportant person who fades from memory, almost like you never existed. Jessica Miller never allows herself to be an artist, but as you can tell, she’s full of an artist’s anxieties.”

Full review in the September edition of The Big Thrill

I’ve learned recently that for a lot of people college was just an extension of high school. They worried about being popular and whether they were pretty enough. Maybe even middle school level maturity. At least if I believe the books I’ve been reading about people’s time in college. Am I the only one who didn’t just treat it like HS 2.0? Who was an actual adult with responsibilities and a search for myself and what I truly wanted to be? Anyone?

Not in this book. These may be the most shallow people you will ever come across. Pick up your feet and look down. The sole is barely wet. That is how shallow this entire thing is. There are no characters with depth. No one who has learned in the years since they left college. A decade of zero growth. Just back and forth in a timeline in which overgrown adolescents have petty fights, rank each other, treat people like objects to be won and lost, and basically act as if they are still going through puberty. No wonder someone ended up dead. Their brains were not developed enough to know it was wrong. Thankfully, mine is.

<blockquote>“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”</blockquote>

<b>AWESOME COVER!! College is one of the most memorable times of your life, but it can be brutal, too. It’s murder in this character-driven thriller! </b>

The East House Seven…seven college friends that should be reuniting for a fun-filled college reunion, ten years after graduation. Unfortunately, Heather can’t attend because she was murdered. And even though there wasn’t enough evidence to convict Jack, he’s estranged from his old pack.

It took my sluggish brain a while to memorize all of the characters, especially the ones with the funky nicknames! And while I usually love dual timelines, I struggled with these. The past timelines jumped around, which made it hard to track the events.

But otherwise, the story was captivating! This was a new author for me and the writing was excellent. Each character had some endearing qualities, along with their annoying characteristics.

Jessica: The story centered around Jessica. She’s spent her life trying to be perfect and make her father proud. She had goals and second wasn’t an option.

Heather: Although Heather was rich and entitled, she could be very sweet…until she started complaining about having to drive her crappy four-year-old car. Really? Things came easy for her.

Mint: He was “the one” to be friends with. His parents were in real estate and grooming him to take over the family business.

Coop: Gorgeous and mysterious. The bad boy who didn’t share much about himself.

Caro: She was the peacemaker of the bunch that felt like she didn’t quite fit in. Always on the outskirts of the group.

Jack: Heather’s boyfriend and the good church boy. He barely got out from under his religious parents to attend college.

Frankie: The football star! Trying to live out his dad’s dream and make it to the NFL.

Sincere thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

<b>My Rating: </b> 4.5 ⭐️’s
<b>Published:</b> August 3rd 2021 by Sourcebooks Landmark
<b>Pages:</b> 368
<b>Recommend:</b> Yes

#InMyHandIHoldAKnife #NetGalley #ARC #BookReviewer #InExchangeForReview #JustFinished #MustRead #PsychologicalThriller #NoRulesJustThrills

After publication, my reviews can be found at Amazon, Twitter, GoodReads, Barnes and Noble, BookBub, NetGalley, and Edelweiss

@ashleywinstead @Sourcebooks @NetGalley

Creepy, unpredictable, and exceptionally gripping!

In My Dreams I Hold a Knife transports you into the life of successful NYC consultant, Jessica Miller, as she heads to her ten-year reunion at Duquette University, where the past will collide with the present, long-buried secrets will finally be unearthed, and the senseless murder of her roommate and fellow member of the East House Seven clique will finally be solved.

The writing is meticulous and tight. The characterization is spot on with a cast of characters that are insecure, self-involved, and secretive. And the plot using flashbacks and a back-and-forth, past/present style intertwines and unravels effortlessly into a machiavellian tale of manipulation, deception, lies, drama, callousness, jealousy, secrets, revelations, hatred, mayhem, and murder.

Overall, In My Dreams I Hold a Knife is a clever, sinister, fabulous debut by Winstead that kept me guessing from the very first page and left me chilled, entertained, pleasantly surprised, and eager to read whatever her remarkably devious mind manages to come up with next.

In My Dreams I Hold a Knife was one of my favorite books of 2021!

This was one of the few books this year that kept my attention enough to read in one sitting. I’m also obsessed with the cover. I was lucky to receive an early copy of this one and read it as soon as I received it. It was one of those drop everything books for me and it didn’t disappoint. I am beyond impressed with this debut and can not wait to see what @ashleywinsteadbooks comes up with next. I am a big fan of campus focused thrillers, and books centered on reunions, this book captured the best of both worlds. There is definitely a reason so many people are giving this book 5 stars. Again please check this out especially if you enjoyed books like One of Us is Lying, The Girls Are All so Nice Here, or They Never Learn.

Thanks to @kayepublicity and @bookmarked for my copy

In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead is a very highly recommended murder mystery. This is an unputdownable, binge-worthy, entertaining, exceptional debut novel.

It has been ten years since Jessica (Jess) Miller graduated from Duquette University. Jessica is planning to attend the reunion and display how she is now successful, beautiful, and confident in life. This will be in contrast to the murky end of college when one of her friends was murdered. They were close friends who ruled the campus and were known as the East House Seven: Heather, Caro, Mint, Jack, Frankie, Coop, and Jess. Heather was murdered at the end of their senior year and Jack was the main suspect, but wasn't charged. The group left under a cloud of suspicion. Now five of them are coming back, to the reunion. Jack, still friends with Jess, is not attending. Heather's younger brother, Eric, now works in alumni office and plans to use the reunion as an opportunity to find her killer. He knows it is one of the five people from the East House Seven attending the reunion.

The narrative alternates between the two timelines, one set in the present at the reunion and the other in the past during their college years. The characters are fully realized. Jess is the main narrator of the story at the reunion with flashbacks mostly from her point-of-view until much later in the novel. Jess is a flawed character - self-centered, dislikeable, and driven but with low self-esteem. Her flaws and those that eventually come out about the other characters make the plot even more interesting.

This is an excellent novel! At the beginning of In My Dreams I Hold a Knife, I thought, "oh no, not another college golden days novel," but as I continued reading, I was very pleasantly surprised. The alternating timelines works so well in this novel and Winstead uses the plot device perfectly to provide background information while increasing the tension. And there are revelations, twists, duplicity, secrets, hypocrisy, and surprises abounding. It is a remarkable murder mystery melodrama. Once the plot gets rolling and secrets start coming out it really is impossible to stop reading.

Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Sourcebooks.
The review will be published on Barnes & Noble, Google Books, and submitted to Amazon.