I couldn't get through this title. It ended up not being for me, but I hope it finds a hope with other readers.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

An absolute delight to read! Heartfelt, emotional and humourous in equal measure. I thoroughly enjoyed this one

Such a great exploration and memoir from a new talent. I absolutely loved how John Paul Brammer put their heart and soul into this memoir. It was very interesting to learn about their life and short little moments from their life.

Real Rating: 3.75* of five, rounded up because I chuckled so much

<B>FINALIST FOR THE 34th Lambda Literary Award—BEST GAY MEMOIR/BIOGRAPHY!</b>:

There are a lot of quotable quotes and pithy aperçus in this book:
<blockquote>We can't change the events of our lives. They happen, and there they are. But the lines we draw to connect those events, the shapes we make and the conclusions we reach, those come from us. They are our design.
–and–
But one thing I’ve learned, and I’ve learned it more solidly than maybe I’ve learned anything else, is that humans are incapable of looking at anything clearly. Even the facts of our own lives—we can only hold a few at any given time, and they shift, they slip through our fingers, they rearrange themselves into new shapes and conspire to tell a different story.
–and–
I thought of myself more as “a person with unique difficulty accessing heterosexuality.”</blockquote>
See? I defy you not to lard these into your next all-gay klatsch and smile becomingly modestly as everyone tells you how wise you are. (Don't front...you know that's exactly what you thought as you read them.)

But as a story of JP Brammer's life the structure is wanting, and I wanted. I didn't reject the advice-column bits. I didn't resent their presence or simply find their simplicity simplistic. There is virtue in simplicity! Matisse was certainly correct, quoted in the "How to Describe a Dick" chapter, "First you have to forget all the {advice/memoir tales} that have been {written} before." And that is a tall, skinny, mushroom-headed problem. (This was occasioned by a question lobbed at Brammer, "how can I go on when I'm so obviously a failure?") Again, to quote but this time Brammer himself, with a freeze-framed penis before him, "I stared at it blankly. It stared back." (Which reminds me, go watch Amazon's <I>The Boys</i> season 3, episode 1. Haw.) But that dick, the one JP Brammer needed to describe? He needed to describe it for work and where there's work there's deadlines and one of those was barrelling down on him. The dick in question, paused on his screen, needed to be described for the porn-ad website...one of those with glitzy photos and ads for things the guys doing the sex acts unquestionably do not need to concern themselves with...that needed clicks. That his words needed to elicit, because this isn't one of the dirty-boy blogs where the scenes are still-framed on, um, action shots shall we say.

This existential crisis..."what the hell is there to say about this tediously same-ol' same-ol' goverment issue genital organ?"...is resolved, of course, though honestly it's by no means certain that his inspired choice made it onto that site. It's really not an area in which I have a lot of interest or expertise, those teasy-squeezy parts of the porn world. "All or nothing" is more my motto but at sixty-plus I'm just not, erm, titillated by suchlike carryin' on as in days of yore.

(Okay, I think Rob's already bored reading this so I can safely add "it says here.")

The issue for me in this read isn't the framing device or the chatty tone or the unabashed goofiness. It's the way it doesn't make *a*book* but a collection of columns. While there is charm in that, it's not what I expected when I was told that it was a memoir. I got the message from the subtitle, which is perfect..."How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons"...but it doesn't make a memoir. The Lambda Literary folk didn't just make up the category it was nominated within...the marketing stresses memoir. Advice, yes; essay, certainly; gay, goodness me yes! Not memoir.

So readers are cautioned to adjust expectations going in to the fun, the roller-coaster of emotions, the single-mindedly survival focused, read. I'll say this for Author Brammer: He knows the structure of an anecdote, the precise emotional trajectory of a story, like the veins on...um...well, he knows what he's up to.

There is no way I can get off this horse (!) without sounding double-entendre-y as hell. Go on and buy it.

I loved everything about this, and I can tell that this is going to be one of my favorite books I've read this year. I absolutely adored Brammer's writing style; he has such a way with incorporating humor and heartfelt emotion, talking about specific moments of his life, answering the person's specific question, and connecting it to themes of mental health, race, sexuality, trauma, interpersonal relationships, loneliness. This was so fantastic, and I really hope he publishes more in the future.

I started to read the book physically, because it was a way for me to study it profoundly for research in my BA at English Literature. I love Hola Papi and how it connects with friends of mine. It’s a book that needs to be read.

This book was amazing. A wonderful memoir and humorous peek into life. Vulnerable, honest, insightful and will delight anyone who reads it. Humor, wit, and the human condition!!

Hola Papi was a fun read - I had never heard of John Paul Brammer but at page one I was glad I got to meet him through his fun and exciting prose! I don't think this will be the last we hear from him.

With self-deprecating humor, great empathy, and well-turned phrases, the Queer Latinx Dear Abby addresses weighty issues such as bullying and suicide.

I loved this memory so much, had me in all the range of motions but most of all just joy and happiness!

Was such a fun time reading this one and recommend to so many people when they need that book to brighten your days

I thoroughly devoured this one. As someone who still feels like she misses a step I found myself guided and cushioned by John Paul Brammer's words. He was a conscientious ear and someone's whose wisdom I'll be looking forward to bending my ear towards. I absolutely adored this collection.

As a thank you to Netgalley and the publisher I provide this honest review. Pitched as a “Chicano Carrie Bradshaw”, John Paul (JP) Brammer or “Papi” is a figure in popular culture I had not been acquainted with. After reading this collection of essays, I am glad I did. As a series of essays drawn up from his advice column Hola Papi!, JP asks nuanced questions related to sexuality, identity, and more giving the reader an opportunity to reflect on experiences like and unlike their own. This collection elicits compassion and provides an overview of the Queer experience through JP's eyes and those of his reader. I enjoyed this immensely and will recommend it to anyone needing words of encouragement or a good laugh. I gave this novel five out of five stars on Goodreads.

Relatable gay memoir.

When you were a newbie in the gay world, confused with yourselves and don't know what is "the right way of being gay" is (spoiler alert: There's no right way of being gay. Just be yourselves), it is nice to read I wasn't the only one going through the same things and thoughts in the beginning after my coming out.
It was a quick read for me because I enjoyed it so much. I'd recommend this book

In this terrific book, Brammer shares what it was like to grow up biracial in Oklahoma. It was not a good place to struggle with your sexuality, and of course, deal with the related struggles with self-confidence and loving yourself. Far too many times these struggles took their toll on his mental health.

I also liked that he touched on the complexities of advice-giving within the LGBT community. One of the frames of information literacy is the idea that authority is constructed and contextual and I believe Brammer conveyed this nicely for his audience while reflecting on his experiences of writing an advice column. We all carry with us our own experiences and those experiences may or may not help others out on their own journeys and that's okay

So, all in all, I would love to grab a coffee (though hot chocolate is preferable) with John Paul Brammer and just chat with him about life, the universe and everything because that's just how insanely awesome he is. Also, I'd highly recommend subscribing to his newsletter which is every bit as wonderful as this book.

I'm a huge fan of J.P.'s column and was so looking forward to reading his memoir! It was so good, funny and touching and thoughtful. Some of these stories, including the one with his grandmother, stayed with me. I do wish this was a little longer and we got to hear more about his family but this was a great light-hearted (though at times can be triggering) memoir.

I loved the advice-column style used to share Brammer’s memoir essays. It gave the book a tone like he was talking directly to the reader.

What a precious new release! I love short stories, collections of essays, anthologies, etc., so this was right up my alley. Brammer was funny, insightful, thoughtful, and so, so real. I loved how easily digestible this book was, broken into the shorter stories and responses; I also loved the different topics addressed - from difficult topics like sexual assault, identity and confidence, to just some funny dating stories created a nice pace for the book.

Overall, I just really loved this one.

Brammer is the voice behind the Hola Papi advice column and that’s the framing for this book, each essay answers a question that gives us insight into Brammer (not Papi). Vulnerable and funny this book effortlessly hits on the complexities of relationships.
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I had a good time reading this book. I think the audiobook would be fantastic. Brammer has a way with words that makes the reader feel like a friend. Being let in on his mistakes and triumphs and eventual growth felt intimate without feeling overwrought. If you’ve read HERE FOR IT by R. Eric Thomas I think you’ll appreciate HOLA PAPI for the ways the books do similar things.
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HOLA PAPI lives in the many intersections — male, gay, Mexican, writer—that make up Brammer. While his identity is ever present it is not a tool to educate the reader. We get to know Brammer as he shares himself with us. He’s not teaching which is refreshing when so much writing feels like it’s pointed toward outreach.
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The book fell short as far as cohesion and consistency. Some essays were so good, others fell flat. I’m not sure I understood the narrative arc. It’s a strong debut and many of the essays made me excited for whatever Brammer does next.

I’ve been a fan of JP Brammer’s for a while. I wish I could say it was because of something that would make me sound more worldly and well-read, like ‘yeah, I subscribe to substacks of many interesting writers’. But to quote Mr. Brammer, I knew him from “...Twitter, the website where I live.” At some point last year I saw him tweet about an upcoming book of his and was like ‘book??????? I read those!!!!!!!’ It wasn’t until that point that I recognized the funny pink skeleton in a sombrero was probably a real person and, luckily, an experienced and gifted writer outside of the 280 character limit.

¡Hola Papi! is a collection of essays formatted a little differently from others I’ve read. Brammer is a former (somewhat accidental) advice columnist, and the essays his book are structured as responses to those who have written to him seeking guidance. I’m actually not sure if these are excerpts from his previous job or entirely new creations by the author, but it doesn’t really matter either way. Whether these specific pieces of advice were solicited or not, the insights and thoughtful reflection Brammer offers to the reader in his book will be entertaining to most and invaluable to others.

Striking the balance between serious topics and humor can be difficult to pull off, but Brammer handles it with a deft hand. There’s plenty of moments in this book filled with pain, and since it’s a memoir those moments are plucked straight from the experiences of the author. What I found most informing was the comparisons between how he felt about something when it initially happened vs how he views that same event now. Trauma doesn’t always let you identify it as such. You need to reach a level of safety and understanding in yourself in order to process some memories from your past.

Then while you’re sitting with the heaviness of that you’ll move on to the next chapter and find that its titled “How to Describe a Dick“. And strangely enough, this will be exactly the cut in the tension you need to keep going. Hola Papi isn’t the kind of book that’s leading the reader through painful experiences for the sake of it. There’s always a point to be made or a situation to find the funny side of. Brammer is as raw and honest as he is witty and quietly hilarious. Some of the stories may feel like they’re starting to wander or like they are ignoring the subject entirely, only to come around and answer the question with careful consideration and sensitivity.

The very first and last chapters are devoted to the question of qualifications, namely should John Paul Brammer be able to give strangers advice. I kind of feel that every time I write another book review. I get nervous writing reviews sometimes. Outside of social media platforms (Instagram, TikTok) and bookseller sites (Amazon, Barnes & Noble), Goodreads is the biggest place for these reviews. So when I scroll through a book’s page and see that my previous review, which at the time was a gif of a lady walking down a staircase declaring “I’M READY TO DRINK”, is currently the top one, I start to feel anxious.

Hopefully for those reading this, maybe with a hovering cursor over an online shopping cart, or perusing the shelves in a bookstore or library, you will give this one a shot. Especially if any of what I described sounds like something you can relate to, but even if you just want a book that will make you laugh as much as it will comfort your fears of inadequacy. It did that and more for me and left me with an even deeper appreciation for the sombrero-clad skeleton that lives inside Twitter with me. Probably not enough to subscribe to a substack, but enough to pick up anything else with his name printed on the cover.

Hola Papi is a collection of essays spurred on by advice column questions and responses. John Paul Brammer grew up in small town Oklahoma as a mixed race gay kid. He experienced his share of bullying, which caused him to change middle schools. Later he found himself working as the writer of the Hola Papi advice column for a Grindr-owned online publication. There he answers questions from gay men looking for advice about coming out or their new relationships, and more. All of this is done with a pinch of humor and self-deprecation. Brammer recounts his own awkward encounters, self-discovery, love found and lost.

I listened to the audiobook, which Brammer narrated himself and he came across as warm and approachable. I appreciated his insight into his life as a less than 100% confident gay man and his desire to help the younger generation of gay men learn from his experience.