Searing, heart affirming & true. This memoir on the bottomless racism & homophobia & ultimate triumph over a lifetime of judgement & hatred is beautifully realized. The author writes in blood, tears, anger & forgiveness. I recommend this book without reservation. Bravo.

There have been a number of engaging memoirs centered on Black Queer men, among them Sayeed Jones, Darnell Moore, and George M Johnson, but this one is particularly special. Brian Broome writes with such raw unflinching honesty and simply gorgeous storytelling, it effectively raised an already rather high bar. I started this on audio and was immediately drawn into the timbre of his voice, but what really captivated me was the way he recounted each particular memory. Starting in McKeesport Pennsylvania Broome boards a bus with a father and his young son who he quickly learns is named Antuan, or Tuan. This child becomes the tentpole he returns to as,
“ I’m drawn back to my boyhood lessons in disaffectedness, nonchalance, and hollow strength. It was a never ending performance that I could not keep up to save my life. And when I failed consistently, there was never any shortage of people around to punish me for it.”
Broome writes about his own boyhood growing up in Ohio facing a dual reality of being both black and gay in America, and his yearning to escape the closing walls constructed by his sexuality and the blossoming awareness of white supremacy and vile racism. “Black boys don’t have a long boyhood. It ends where white fear begins, brought on by deepening voices, broadening backs, and coarsening hair in new places beneath our clothing”.
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His exit leads him to Pittsburgh where he stumbles, and fumbles with his queerness in a series of stories I found exceptionally stand out including one set in a seedy sex club that takes a surprising, and heartbreaking turn, and another with him dating a European man who he has led to believe he’s a talented basketball player.
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And although I obviously am not the person to speak to his experiences as a black man aside from once again praising his writing, his naked vulnerability journeying through his queerness I found highly and immediately relatable. (Sometimes making me cringe in recognition I might add).
Yet it’s this vulnerability coupled with a braveness to present himself, warts and all that truly makes the book shine and one of my favorites I’ve read this year.
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This memoir is a difficult, emotional read, but I am glad it was written. Broome is a black, gay man that grew up in Ohio and was abused from almost everyone, from family members to friends to strangers. He was abused simply for being ‘different’, meaning dark skinned and not being ‘masculine’ enough like everyone else. The problem with this is that he never really got to come into his own like the other children, but rather he was bullied often and forced into horrifying situations to try and ‘make him like everyone thought he should be’ which had to be ridiculously confusing for a young child. Oh and let’s add to that an abusive dad that loses his job and does the least to try and help the family out, and probably in fact does the exact opposite. Broome works through this trauma throughout the book and it is gut wrenching at times.

Broome prefaces each chapter with vignettes called ‘The Initiation of Tuan’, which are his observations of a Black father and his young son Tuan while they are on a city bus together. He observes both how the child acts and how the father responds to the child, and correlates them to his own experiences.

I thought the first half was a bit stronger than the second, but again, it is so hard to review memoirs, and overall this was such a powerful story that just needs to be told.

Thank you to LibroFM and HMH Books for the ALC to review.

I appreciate the author sharing his story with such transparency, especially being Gay and Black while coming up in rural, OH. I do think the story was all over the place at times, however and would’ve liked it to be more streamlined in a way.

The author writes of his experience growing up as a gay, Black male, and the isolation and abuse that he took as a way of life.
His descriptions of his childhood home, where his father literally attempted to beat the gay out of him, are jarring and awful, and his account of living life as a lonely, self-loathing gay man isn’t any better.
It isn’t a pleasant read but the book is very good and does a fantastic job of helping the reader to walk in someone’s else’s worn out shoes.
Thanks to #netgalley and #houghtonmifflin for this ARC of #punchmeuptothegods in exchange for an honest review.

Well written autobiography of growing up black, gay in an abusive home. , yet the lack of cohesive paragraphs made it a tough read for me.

Overall, I felt kinda meh about this book. Not necessarily bad, but not particularly memorable either. Giving it 2.5/5 Stars.

Brian Broome's memoir is set up in a way where we see him on the bus observing a young toddler with his distracted father speaking apparently to the boy's mother on the phone, while Broome reflects on how this father is teaching his Black son to be a Black son, remembering what it was like for Broome to have his father remind him that he'd rather him himself than have a white person kill his son. The memoir starts out with the author young at school, and then moves onward, until he leaves Ohio, and becomes a part of the gay drug scene in Pittsburgh. Eventually, the memoir takes a pause so we can hear from his mother, someone he wished he had listened to earlier, providing readers with a glimpse into her world, and her life with his father.

Much of this memoir evolves around being Black and the ways Broome tried fitting in with White classmates, rarely fitting in with the Black students who viewed him as being a pussy, never tough enough, tough enough to survive being Black in a White world. Then the memoir shifts more into being an adult, doing drugs, and being a part of the 90s gay world.

It's an engaging memoir where the author doesn't slip into the pity mode, but shows readers what his life has been like, and why and where he directs his anger and his love.

"we learn that white boys are people and Asian boys are exotic and Hispanic boys are luxurious and Black boys are for sex."

Punch Me Up to the Gods is a raw, powerful memoir that explores the ideals of Black masculinity, and that intersection with the queer identity, and what it is to be a queer Black man in the USA. It is brutal, powerful and superbly honest.
The memoir comes as a collection of essays about moments throughout Brian Broome's life, glavanized (and organized for us) through a shared bus trip between narrator and a small Black boy named Tuan. I found this really interesting, and this starting point made me reflect and approach the essays in such a different way.
This book talks of racism, homophobia, physical/emotional/sexual abuse, toxic masculinity, misogyny, family, addiction/alcoholism. With humour and a great writing style (felt almost poetic at points), one feels saddened but still wants to keep reading.
I really appreciate the realness and unsanitized depictions. This is seen in other themes too, but Brian talks about being queer while not being a "good queer" - ashamed, denial, hidding, wishing it away; cowardice sometimes feels forbidden to queer stories.

Book Review

I went into this book not knowing anything about the author, but I love a good memoir, and I saw this one had something to do with addiction, which sounded interesting.

The whole time I was reading it, I kept thinking how lyrical it was and it seemed to be written by a poet. Later on, I saw that many of the book reviews called it “poetic”- okay, great, so I was right in my feeling about the style of the writing. We also learn in the introduction that James Baldwin was a big inspiration to the author.

This is the story of Brian Broome, a black man from Ohio, who later moves to Pittsburgh. Brian is also poor, and we later learn, gay. Additionally, as mentioned, he does have addiction issues. We explore his relationship with his parents, including one surprise chapter written in the voice of his mother, which I loved.

Brian is honest is portrait of himself. He has no ego overriding his story of growing up from boyhood into the type of older man he used to laugh at. Along the way, he goes to seedy bars and suspect apartments of men, but also fashionable clubs where he snorts drugs in the bathroom.

Interspersed with his own life story are his observations of a toddler he sees on the bus. The little guy is a black child with his black father, and Brian watches how they interact. He reflects on how some things never change in how black males are raised- such as being told to not cross your legs “like a girl”. But we are in a new world then the one Brian lived in as a toddler, and there is hope that this young boy on the bus will grow up in a better, more accepting society that will embrace him.

This book was raw, sometimes sad, sometimes funny and definitely worth a read. 4.5 stars

In this memoir, Brian Broome discusses his experiences as a gay, dark skinned Black boy growing up in Ohio. He chronicles many events in his childhood and young adult life where he was told who to be and how to act. His father was constantly telling him how to "be a man". His peers were constantly trying to push him not be gay. He never felt like he belonged to any group, being bullied for being Black and also being bullied by his Black peers for being gay. As he grew into adulthood he turned to sex and drugs as a way to numb himself from his emotional scars.

This was an intense and raw memoir. The stories he tells about his experiences growing up are unfathomable and horrific. Broome's ability to survive what he went through and to become a successful writer is a testament to his resiliency and perseverance.

Broome's poetic and captivating writing style is really what sets apart this memoir from other memoirs for me. He is a gifted writer, framing his stories with emotion evoking words and phrases. I love that he ends the book talking about love - love for humanity and love for oneself. It's the silver lining that is needed after his disturbing stories.

Here is my favorite quote from the book:

"...all I hope is that you enjoy your life, in your skin, and on your own terms..."

I listened to this audiobook and I enjoyed being able to hear Broome narrate his own words.

⚠️ racism, homophobia, substance abuse, domestic violence, bullying, child abuse

Brian Broome’s in his powerful, insightful memoir, Punch Me Up to the Gods, writes about what it means to be a man, Black, Gay, and a combination of all three. He also discusses what we all want, which is to fit in, feel that you belong, and are loved. You will feel lots of different emotions when you read this book, you will laugh, and you may cry but you will also learn and/or feel a connection to Broome. I highly recommend this book.

One of my favorite memoirs of the year! Brian Broome hit every emotional note possible in his retelling of his past growing up black and gay. As a white gay male, I've struggled with my own masculinity and sexuality so I appreciated reading a young gay black males perspective, which was quite different from my own. I now have a deeper understanding of the struggles our community faces and how varied the experiences are but one things unites us, that internal struggle. This book gave me hope in the end!

This is the raw and powerful memoir sharing what it was like to be gay and Black in America. Broome shares his story in a collection of essays. It was so profound and heartbreaking. To hear "you're a boy!" as if that alone means anything.

I can't rate someone's story as if it isn't enough, but the writing style was unique and added so much to his story.

An emotionally raw memoir of Broome’s life coming of age. The book delves into his coming out, struggles with abuse, addiction, and the relationships that challenge and support Broome.
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This book starts off incredibly strong. I was drawn to Broome’s vulnerability and the ways he crafted a suspenseful narrative. I wanted to know him. I wanted to know more. The storytelling and writing style are by far where PUNCH ME UP TO THE GODS shines.
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As the book went on I lost some interest because the storytelling device (on the bus) that carried on through the book felt forced and unnecessary. To me, Broome’s story was more than enough and this device made the book seem repetitive. As if there was a page quota Broome was reaching for. I wish the book was 200 stellar pages instead of 250 good ones.
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Overall I recommend this book even if it fell flat for me by the end. The ways Broome rigorously interrogates his life and his experiences is admirable and makes for a powerful debut.

An email from the publisher put this book on my radar, since my reading preference is biographies. Another thing that drew me to the book is the invitation to learn about someone whose life experiences are very different from mine.

Brian writes of growing up in Ohio and suffering on several fronts. It might be easier to use a specific example from the book to illustrate just how heart wrenching it was. The only time his fellow students made him feel a sense of inclusion was when they noticed his talent for dancing and suggested he go to a dance club with them. It required a car ride and a little spending money, which was a large hurdle to climb in itself. His mother was working anyway, and she most likely wouldn't approve of him going there. But, Brian was so marginalized at school that he couldn't let this one gleaming opportunity pass him by to finally be accepted. So he managed a ride and the spending money, and found himself dancing away to acclaim at the club. However, when the place was closing down, it was a huge wake up call when his fellow students got picked up by their parents. Not one parent would allow Brian to get in their car for a ride home. There was a lot of silence, ignoring, and furtive glances as they pulled away. The club was now closed and it was very cold outside. Brian was so devastated by the total rejection that he sobbed uncontrollably as he constantly pulled his coat around him for warmth. Luckily a club worker was still around and he allowed Brian to use the phone. He had no choice but to call his mother to pick him up in the wee hours of the morning. She pulled up to the club and he could see she was wearing her pajamas, quiet in her rage as they drove home.

In addition to the racism he experienced being black, he was also gay. His father especially picked up on this and it couldn't be allowed. Thus the title of this book, the father in his rage and hate would threaten to punch Brian back up to the Gods. His father lost his job at the local mill, and since he had only gone to grammar school felt like he wasn't trained for doing anything else. Brian's mother got a job and eventually the marriage busted up and the father lived like a hobo in an abandoned shack not far away. He would come by the house when Mom was at work to take food out of the refrigerator and trash her to the kids.

A theme was employed intermittently throughout the book of describing a long bus ride in which Brian is sitting near a black father wth his cute little boy Tuan. Brian calls these chapters "The Initiation of Tuan". When Tuan falls and hurts himself he is admonished firmly by his father to stop crying. When he falls asleep on the bus with his legs crossed, his father pulls them apart in a more manly pose. Brian uses the last chapter to write a symbolic letter to Tuan in a caring fashion with hope that he will survive the challenges of racism and possibly his sexual preferences- and his ability to just be himself.

Brian is a talented writer. This drew you in emotionally. He made you understand his life experience enduring racism, ostracism for being gay- and even more so for being a black gay man. He recounted a really depressing home dynamic, while stressing the importance of women in his life. He walked you through his sexual experiences with both men and women, the gay club scene, and drug addiction. Around the last fifteen minutes of reading the book Brian pulled no punches about what he thought about Ohio (where he grew up as a child) and America as a whole, and possibly anywhere else in the world he might travel, in regards to racism. It was clever of him to leave this for the very last gasp of the book, because it might be off-putting to someone reading it at the start of the book who wasn't receptive.

Thank you to the publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

This memoir was painful to read at times (most of the times if I am going to be completely honest), but it was beautiful. The subject was not particularly full of beauty but the voice that told the story is beautiful. I loved the unique structure to this memoir. It is a serious of essays broken up with observations Brian made of a young boy and his father on the bus which caused him to reflect on his own upbringing. Brian is brutally honest and this memoir tells the story of how he failed to conform to the training on how to best be a Black man, and how he painfully came to accept who he was as a Black, gay, man. The impacts of racism on his life were hard to read, but the good kind that helps the reader accept what is real. And only with acceptance can we work to change. This was a limited scope of Brian’s life and I would certainly be interested in reading more. Brian Broome is a name I will be looking out for in the literary world.

Such a powerful memoir! Hoping his revelations of growing up black and gay and suffering abuse as a result permitted his tortured soul to heal a bit. Also hope it helps others struggling with similar issues to find their own healing. Although parts were so very difficult to read it was very moving. Loved the parallel stories of Tuan and his father. Reading this book helped open my eyes to the struggles of young black males. Having grown up white in a very white middle class rural area in CT I have had very few opportunities to even observe young black males. Brian’s experiences made me cringe, cry, and also laugh at times. Thank you to Brian Broome for opening your heart to let each of us in. I am awestruck by your candor. Many thanks also to Houghton Mifflin and NetGalley for affording me the eye opening experience of reading an arc of Punch Me Up to the Gods, just published on 5-18.

Author Brian Broome writes about his childhood and life in Ohio without flinching. He trusts the reader to not cover their eyes as he describes what it was like growing up as a black, gay kid where expectations and stereotypes are dogma. It was raw and powerful.

I loved the way Mr Broome structured the memoir in almost essay-sections with watching a boy on a bus with his dad. It was a beautifully-original way to organize the book.

Heartfelt thanks to Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for a copy of this magnificent book. I’m grateful.

Whew, powerful prose. Broome’s memoir is an engrossing and brutally honest memoir of growing up black and gay in a hyper masculine culture. Feeling himself ugly and too dark and hearing “You. Is. A. Boy!” way too much. Creatively interspersed with his observations of a young black child, Tuan, on a bus, Broome relates his life experiences including childhood, as a young gay man, and his drug addiction.