4.5 "hazy, naive, cathartic" stars !!

Thank you to Netgalley, Zone 3 Press and the memoirist for an ecopy. This edition was released November 2018.

So I know I will sleep little this evening. I will be reflecting on this memoir and how it brings some of my own sad and painful memories to the surface. I will have a good couple of cries and remember my mama and papa and how much I miss them so. I will reflect on my own joys, my past loves and events that I rarely give space too. This is what excellent memoir does...helps us go into ourselves and consolidates so that we can give our current lives more meaning and gratitude....

This is an immensely touching memoir of a woman looking back at her white poverty, Christian fundamentalist upbringing and deprivations and humiliations aplenty. This ride through childhood, adolescence and young adulthood is full of happenings, abuses, but also plenty of love. We travel through 1960s and 1970s California, Colorado and Montana. We meet individuals both stern and gentle and trying to make peace with God, the end of the World and still putting food on the table. Interspersed with these many vignettes, the memoirist shares her wisdoms gained, emptinesses that can never be filled and a resignation that this is her life and she will continue to make progress while attempts at peace, forgiveness and conciliation trickle forth.

There is both a naviete and self-centredness that pervade these accounts. Yet despite being immersed in memories, reveries, emotions and events I never felt that I was able to grasp this memoirist's essence and perhaps this might be the biggest loss....

A thank you to Ms. Beard with hopes that her current life is full of love and serenity....

'An Imperfect Rapture' is one of those books that left me almost silent. Silent because again I got insight in how lucky and privileged my life has been.

Kelly J. Beard describes in this book how she grew from a young girl into the woman she is now. It is a story that shows what (growing up in) poverty, mental illness, abuse and cult-like churches can do to someone. That it were sheer stubbornness and a lot of work that got her out of that world, as far as that will ever be possible.

I want to thank Kelly for telling the story. It must have taken a lot of courage to write this.

Thank you to the publisher for sharing a copy of her book.

"An imperfect rapture" is a story about growing up in a crucible of Christian fundamentalism and white American poverty. Kelly reshapes the shadow of reality in her youth with the poet's lyrics and the nuances of insiders. The author wrote a heartrending history an abuse girl.

Usually I'm not a fan of books with religion as one of the main topic but this book tackles the subject very well without being boring. The story is extremely touching. Each page transports you and makes you want to never stop reading. The writing is really pleasant. Even if English is not your first language it's still easy to follow.

(Rate on goodreads as well)

Thank you, Netgalley for this digital ARC. The opinions expressed in this review are my own and unbiased.

I wanted to enjoy this memoir, as the writing itself was so beautiful, but it was difficult. Surprisingly it was not only the content that held me back, but the pacing itself. Though the writing was lovely, somehow the story was always bogged down. Paired with the painful content, I felt like this book was much longer than its page count.

I was impressed with the way the author could look at her parents from a distance and understand some of where their trauma came from so that she could understand their actions. Her insight and understanding makes this book an impressive feat. Her own hardships and painful childhood seem to have given her a great sense of empathy, even for those responsible for her suffering. A sad, but hopeful coming of age tale.

In An Imperfect Rapture, Kelly Beard writes a heartbreaking and hopeful account of her experiences growing up in an abusive, fundamentalist household. Throughout the memoir, we see Beard transform from a young child who idolizes her parents (especially her father), to a confused teen coping with her family's increasingly abusive faults, to a promise of a maturing adult breaking away from the cycle of generational trauma that has been worsened by her family's faith and fluctuating class status.

Beard adopts a bittersweet tone throughout the novel, for every positive memory has a potentially negative one to follow, but throughout it all, Beard maintains her passion and perseverance while balancing the good with the bad in a way that makes Beard's younger self a fascinating person to experience the narrative through. The memoir ultimately acts as a patchwork of Beard's life that is seamlessly stitched together by her compelling, clear, honest voice and her relatable experiences, which are further bolstered by Beard's experience as a woman contending with her past, acknowledging her own faults, and attempting to heal those wounds as best she can.

Beard also does a great job of respecting that everyone has a different story, which she makes a point to highlight in a disclaimer in the back of the book, and Beard tells her side of the story in a way that allows for her own bias to be abundantly clear at times, which is very refreshing to see. As I watched Beard grow up, I felt like I grew right alongside her, and while Beard's insecurities are (relatively) relatable, the particular poignancy in which Beard relates her story makes the read quick, painful, and promising all at the same time.

I tend to see Kelly's experiences as a result of growing up in abuse, not Christianity. She describes a brutally abusive and manipulative father. Sometimes abusers will use twist scripture to fit their narrative, but that is not the fault of God or Christianity. It is 100% the fault of the abuser. Her descriptions in this novel are nothing like the loving evangelical Christian home I grew up in.

This book was well written and Kelly unflinchingly described her abusive childhood in great detail.

I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley. My review is voluntary.