Family relationships can be tough, especially if you are queer and have an unccepting parent(s). J.R. Jamison shares his viewpoint of his relationship with his father during a trip to his father’s high school reunion.

During this trip, Joe talks about his past, growing up queer in a small town, and the memories shared with him. I think one of the most important distinctions Jamison (aka Joe) makes is the difference in viewpoint from when we are a child and hear something to when we listen to the same story as an adult with some life experience under our belt.

I didn’t grow up ostracized for being queer (there were other issues) or in a small town, but Jamison’s words resonate. I came away from Hillbilly Queer feeling as if this is a love letter to young Joe. Some things will change over time, while other things will never change, but you will be okay.

The walk through history is similar to my own. I still come across Ancestry printouts and lordy all of the untrue stories! Jamison on the other hand has all of these cool dime-back western stories connected to him.

Jamison also shares intimate moments from his past such as his relationship with Steve, his first boyfriend. Man, I wish I had a Steve or Lila in my life. I count Jamison and his father lucky to have had those experiences and friendships. Huge hugs in regards to Steve.

This probably will sound tacky to anyone who reads the book after what I just wrote about Steve...but how Joe met Cory is freaking hilarious. Just saying. Then Jamison shares Sally’s story and I cried. Huge hugs to Joe and Cory.

Jamison takes us through a continuous flux of emotion as he remembers the past, is sharing the present, and lives with concern for a possible Trump future. The see-saw of emotions can be tough, but isn’t that how we live life? Jamison shows us his viewpoint of living life as a Hillbylly Queer and it as once familiar and new. A trip worth taking even if Jamison’s dad is behind the wheel.

I received a free copy of this book and I am writing a review without prejudice and voluntarily.

Absolutely loved this. As someone who has grown up in rural America, now works in a different rural America, and who's family is primarily from (and a product of) rural America -- this book hit home in so many ways. It was also just a beautiful exploration of how we interact with each other everyday, and the ways we can find a little more kindness to share.

Review:

Hillbilly Queer takes us on an adventure: son and father. Father, hillbilly; son, queer. During a family dinner the son, J.R. begrudgingly agrees to go on a road trip with his father to his high school reunion in Missouri. They leave Indiana and head out to see the town in which his father grew up. Throughout this road trip we get a firsthand glimpse of their relationship. And that relationship acts as a symbolic representation of the dichotomy overlapping the United States in its present state. This memoir by J.R. Jamison is a pure and thoughtful reflection of growth and identity. Jamison knows how to make his readers feel like they are part of the scene; even in the introduction, we are there with him. His subject matter is something not everyone has experienced, but his language and use of scene pulls them right in.

This memoir is about the little things. How body language can manifest a whole dialogue. How listening to someone different can teach us about ourselves. That there can be untold powerful stories where we least expect them. Jamison does this by stacking internal monologue and quick dialogue with his father and other guest characters. He oftentimes proves his internal monologue wrong by following through with communication. He is who we all have been: someone living in our own experience internally.

I can relate to the pressure of wanting to teach family members the reasons why supporting someone like Trump can be harmful, wanting to shake them or scream at them. But the only way to communicate and teach is by experiencing that family member’s experience. Hillbilly Queer shares with us how we cannot try to change the people we love, but we can meet them halfway and try to teach them through connection and empathy. This story takes its readers through the “redneck” territory of the Midwest and creates conflict that us, the readers, are able to actually relate to. There is an included Epilogue that brings the story full circle and shows us how that trip, their time to connect, had rebuilt their relationship and taught each other. Jamison’s father had to learn on his own, but embraced what harm the Trump administration was causing because of his relationship with his son who is a person directly affected by the actions of the Trump administration.

Jamison shows us the unexpected ways a father’s love can change the narrative. How his father loved him in any moment, even when he imagined the worst. His father was an enigma throughout the story where I kept finding respect and admiration for him despite my personal disagreement in many of his ideals and political choices. The one part of the book where his father truly came to life for me was when he accepted Jamison for being gay: “He brought up the Bible. And Hell. But told me he didn’t believe I’d go there as long as I did good in this world. He pulled my hand from under my knee and held it. He leaned into me and touched my forehead with his and told me he loved me. I nodded my head in agreement and the spotlight was too bright, it seared right through my eyes, and released the tears.”

This memoir was a refreshing look at family relationships and the challenges of our society and how they impact us and those relationships. We get glimpses of Jamison’s stories of being gay and the challenges he faced, but I wanted more. I truly hope to read future memoirs by J.R. Jamison. This is his first memoir, and I know there are many more stories waiting to be told. Not only is he talented and educated, he is a writer who treats his readers with respect and knows how to use language to his advantage.

Thank you for the advanced copy of this book! I will be posting my review on social media, to include Instagram, Amazon, Goodreads, and Storygraph!

This was a great read and so perfect to pick up, especially now. I really connected to Jamison's writing and plan to share with friends and family once it's published.

A microcosm of current American relationships. I wanted to love it, but it didn't ever grab me. I still think it says something important.

I received this e-ARC book from Netgally in exchange for an honest review

Please read the blurb of the memoir as this is only my opinion.

Trigger warnings: as you can imagine from the title of the book there's plenty of homophobia, sexism, racism, classism, political talk (set in the 2016 USA elections) there's a bit of child neglect, and a plethora of toxic masculinity. So stay away of any of those would trigger you.


I have never read a memoir about someone I wasn't familiar with before. So it's hard to read about someone's life without having any real connection to that person or previous knowledge of their work.

The writing style is really good and flows very nicely, taking you to places and tangents and going into intimate memories and writing you back to 2016. It was a very nice ride and I particularly enjoy the fact that is a father and son bonding road trip which I haven't read enough of. Having said that I felt kind of confused as it took place in only four days, but it felt it more like four weeks.

I was in a online book presentation with the author and thought this guy is very interesting and I got curious about the work on The facing project. Spending a bit of time getting to know person behind the book helped me finishing the story faster.

Unfortunately I didn't feel there was much of a connection with the author as I found some parts of the book kind of problematic. Mainly the fact that he preferred to accept someone thinking he had Italian roots, rather than correcting the people and be proud of his Native American family history. Or believing that having a Cartier bracelet and designer clothing makes him better than the people he was surrounded by in this road trip.

Please do note that he talks constantly about his roots and even goes to the graves of part of his family, but by the end of the book I didn't feel he actually was proud of that side of his history even when is mention is only at the end in a quick line that nearly gets lots amongst political talk and was written four years after the trip took place.

This book is going to touch people differently and in so many ways and so many levels because it's well written, and is real, I think it's kind of ironic that many people can relate to being marginalised, or segregated, it saddens me. That I disagree with some of the author’s perspectives, and judgments doesn't make a bad read. It somehow, at least for me, made it richer, as it made me think and reflect.

PS: I would've love to have a play list to put a little more texture to the context. I know not everybody reads with musi in the background.
I'd love to see and read more reviews on this book.

Thank you to Net Galley and The Facing Project for the digital ARC of this book.

This book is exactly as described; a memoir of a father-son road trip. The father, the Hillbilly, the son, the Queer. But this is a simplified explanation. There was so much more to it. This story has self-exploration, self-reflection, and understanding, both for oneself and others. It is a coming-of-age story but the author "comes of age" in four days. I realize that much of the self-awareness JR derived was over decades growing up gay in Missouri with a parent who held negative views about gay people, but it seemed that everything synthesized for him in the span of that short road-trip. Writing this story must have been cathartic. He was able to heal some deep wounds within himself and his relationships. By the end of the book he was able to see himself and his father more clearly. It seemed to help him understand that we, as individuals and as a nation, need all kinds of people. Even if we don't always agree, there are ways for us to come together. This book is an awakening and I loved being let in on this private journey.

If you know me well at all, you know it takes a lot for me to pick up a memoir. I'm normally a "strictly fiction" kind of guy. Therefore, it's even harder for me to pick one up and actually like it. Enter "Hillbilly Queer". This was the story I feel I needed lately. Since starting my career as a therapist, it has become even more blatantly obvious that there is a detrimental divide in our nation right now. This book gives me hope. This book makes me happy. This book shows that people can have differing opinions and still love each other. My biggest fear while reading this is that the people who NEED to read this book will never pick it up. I found it slightly redundant at points but the redundancy was justified by the author's ability to make you think. I identify with this book on so many levels and can't wait for more people to read it! I already plan on sending this a specific person when it's officially released!

I love reading memoirs, it’s such a fun way to see the world through someone else’s eyes. But this one was not what I was expecting.

J.R. and his father spend the whole trip trying to “reach across the divide” politically, as his father is a staunch Trump supporter and he is a liberal gay man. Throughout the book, J.R. makes a point to say that it’s not about politics, it’s about the people in this country. That’s all fine and good, but the issues that Trump brought out in people can not and will not be changed with love. It’s a very privileged take for this cis white man to say that they can, and I personally felt like even as he talked about class and race privilege and how it all played into politics, it was a bit of a coverup for his other statements.

I am tired of always being the one who’s expected to compromise, or make the other side feel accepted, or grimace and fake a smile to keep the peace. J.R.’s ability to sit at tables and listen to his father and his fathers friends talk about their love for Trump just hit me in a strange way.

I did enjoy the writing style, and the stories from his family history being sprinkled throughout was really cool. It was definitely interesting to see the way that working-class Trump supporters viewed him, and the consistency of Fox News being on wherever J.R. went made me laugh.

I would recommend this to a friend, and I think in another 4 years I’d be more amenable to hear what he is saying. I think the wounds from Trump’s presidency are still just too fresh.

I am struggling to write a review for this title. Hillbilly Queer is a memoir written by J.R. Jamison that touches on many topics, including the severe political divide currently in the United States. Jamison's family, like many American families, has members who fall on each end of the spectrum. In this case, Jamison is a gay man who is very left-leaning politically and his father is more conservative. The memoir unfolds during the 2016 election season as the two go on a trip to his father's hometown for his high school reunion. The author is trying to understand and accept that his father is planning to vote for Donald Trump - a candidate who is not LGBTQ+ friendly (that might be an understatement) among other things (racist, sexist, an accused sexual abuser, xenophobic, etc.). Here's why this review is difficult to write: this is a nonfiction account of Jamison's experience with Trump supporters as a gay man. I do not think it's appropriate for me to invalidate his story and I am glad that he was able to write this memoir. However, something about this book did not sit right with me. Maybe it was because I read it five years after the events occurred, just months after Donald Trump left the white house leaving the country in shambles. This memoir encourages readers to reach across the political aisle and embrace those who hold different views than us. Which is great in theory. But is it realistic at this time? Just something to consider if you decide to pickup this title...

A really fascinating look at the way that we can bridge generations and come to an understanding despite our differences. I really enjoyed the inner conflict in this book and appreciated the way it resolved itself. Excellent book.

I really wanted to like this book, but it fell flat for me despite some strong and touching parts. The family history J.R. discovers while roadtripping with his dad and the memories he recalls as they interact are by far the strongest pieces. But overall, I felt like the book couldn't decide if it wanted to be more a family story set against the backdrop of a divided America or a sociological and political argument about moving past that divide. It felt at times like it was trying to be both too much to ultimately succeed at either. The personal narrative was repetitive in places, and while some memories were wonderfully illustrative - the nail polish story was one of my favorite parts - others felt lacking depth or emotion for me. Despite ostensibly being a memoir, I didn't get a great sense for who J.R. is as a person, particularly in the early chapters, aside from being gay and liking theater and his husband. As a political and sociological argument, the 2016 narrative feels anachronistic in 2021 after four years of a Trump presidency and a much clearer idea of what it looked like for America. There's not much of a clear takeaway - the reader never gets a sense of how J.R.'s dad went from saying gay people were going to die of AIDS to accepting his son, though we're told repeatedly that the shift took place. There are some great nuggets in here, but ultimately this frustrated more than it inspired or illuminated.

Instead of revealing something meaningful about his relationship with his father, in the end this book reveals the extent of the author's privilege. J.R. spends the bulk of their road trip together with a running internal monologue questioning his Trump-loving father's motivations. Is his father secretly a racist? Does he know that Trump, even during the 2016 campaign, hinted at anti-LGBTQ animus? (It's telling that he never asks whether his father is a misogynist. This book is so solidly about men and their sons that women don't feature in the author's consciousness much at all).

In the end, none of that seems to matter, which is to say nothing gets discussed or even resolved. Even though the author constantly reminds the reader that he is a gay man, both directly and by referencing tired gay stereotypes, he never thinks to ask his father "do you know, or care, that Trump's policies will hurt people like me?" The book ends with the author blandly agreeing to keep their relationship at a surface level and just not talk about their differences. That might be a satisfying ending for people who are genuinely surprised that a gay man and his Midwestern father could come to any kind of détente. For anyone else, it just reveals that the author, as a white, cisgender, gay man, doesn't really feel that Trump poses any kind of threat to him, and he can comfortably sit in that privilege and ignore the harms people like his father are inflicting on others.

Jamison writes a memoir perfect for our times, one which echoes much in our country: a gay narrator and his Trump-following father take a trip down memory lane in the heart of Trump country. This is a memoir to which Midwestern folks will relate, especially those who have left the midwest and look back to Flyover Country objectively. This memoir, too, may well appeal to readers from the coasts who wish to understand the Trump phenomenon, presented here so carefully from the narration of the son. Poignant.

" ... sometimes one has to go back to find their true selves ..."

This for me was a story one one man's journey "... to decide what is important to keep in our lives and what is important to let go .." as he traverses the back roads of Missouri with his 72yo father, Dave, who is on his way to his 55 year class reunion.

Jamison reflects not only on his father's life but on his own, growing up where, although he knew he was gay, it wasn't geographically or culturally permissible to acknowledge this openly - that fear of non-acceptable within the "good ole boy" community and of the social consequences of doing so.

That fact that this memoir coincided with the election that saw Trump come to power was, for me, a non-US citizen, neither here nor there. I guess I was able to compartmentalise the political aspects - everyone is entitled to their own political views and many families hold opposing, and oft time polarising views - nothing new there - I guess it was just that in this instance, it was a bit more public. Maybe others are reading more into this than I am.

I read it for what it was - one man's journey of discovery, acceptance, and most importantly family.

Maybe a content warning should be added for homophobia and racism but the whole premise is trump's election so maybe that's a given. Reading this after the second almost impeachment of trump yesterday truly hits in ways I didn't expect. My own father and brother are trumpers and I'm one of those liberals who thought he'd never be president. I was all ready and excited for our first female president to be Hillary. I relate a lot to J.R. but honestly my dad and brother are people I dread the idea of seeing. I still see trump 2020 flags less than 3 miles from my house and I have the desire to set them on fire. If you agree to disagree then this is a great book for you but If I were J.R. I would've drove back home on the first day. No discussion about it. This book made me so mad but also sad. Check it out but grab your tissues and stress ball.....you'll surely need both.....sometimes for one page you'll be screaming and crying. This is America......hate&love on the same street and trump didn't create all the hate ; he just added a bit of fuel.

On paper, J. R. Jamison and his father are as different as it gets, but when his father asks him to take a road trip to a high school reunion, Jamison surprises himself by agreeing to this chance to reconnect with his aging, ailing father. Jamison writes openly and honestly about the trip, beginning with an intro that left me doubting how he and his father could ever make the relationship work.

This heartfelt memoir will resonate with any reader who struggles with relatives and loved ones who seem to live diametrically opposite lives: rural vs urban, gay vs straight, Democratic vs Republican.

Personally, my father and I share many political views, but still struggle to connect the way I want. Even if you and your parent vote the same, the struggle to communicate and navigate parent-child relationships as an adult are universal, and Jamison's memoir handles this in a way that will appeal to most readers.

***Very happy to have read this courtesy of NetGalley.

Joe and his father are complete opposites. Joe is gay, married to a man, and living in the "big city." Dave, his father, is very conservative, thinks homosexuals will not go to heaven, lives in rural Indiana, and supports Donald Trump. In Hillbilly Queer, our author accompanies his father on a trip back to his hometown for his 55th high school reunion. Jamison agrees to go on this trip in hopes of rekindling his relationship with his father, who he feels at times is a complete stranger.

This memoir hits home. Hillbilly Queer tells a story quite similar to my own, and one that many people I know have had to deal with. While it's idealistic to assume families that have such differing political opinions (specifically regarding Donald Trump) can get along if they just don't discuss politics, that can be a dangerous narrative to paint.

There's a constant struggle with having family members that wholeheartedly support Trump. Do you show empathy and give them a pass "because of how they were raised" or do you continuously push back, explain his faults and how he is dangerous until you are blue in the face, ultimately accomplishing nothing in the end anyway? I understand more than most how tempting it can be to let things slide for the sake of avoiding an argument, but recent events (the past four years actually) have shown what can happen when you don't address a situation immediately.

While I appreciate the author's story and understand it is a personal one, I don't think we are accomplishing anything by continuing the narrative of "reaching across the aisle."

C/W: Scene with dubious consent

I read "HillBilly Queer" after the storming of the Capitol Building and during the week of the political events and conversations that followed. This review is probably one of the most biased I've written based on the above events, but I do think that it is important to put across how I feel about this book.

"Hillbilly Queer" doesn't document a profoundly new story however it does draw the reader into a father-son relationship. Set using the backdrop of the 2016 election cycle, Jamison and Dave as they travel back to Dave's hometown for a class reunion. Throughout the memoir, we see Jamison attempt to understand his dad's reasons for ardently supporting Trump, while Jamison doesn't.

Jamison details exceptionally well the messy family relationships that are made messier by politics. Believe me, this is a story that has been made personally familiar to me over the last 4 years and probably to many others.

I was 18 during the 2016 election cycle and at 22, I am tired of the rhetoric that reaching across the divide works because it clearly doesn't. Trump's presidency from day 1 has filled me with fear and anxiety, both emotions have only grown during his presidential cycle.

The last four years and its aftermath is proof of what happens when we endorse the kind of behaviour that Trump incites. I have watched how the US's endorsement of their president stir up right-wing behaviour across the world. The political events from the first two weeks of 2021 have convinced me, now more than ever, that we need to stop humanising the rise of this behaviour (no matter how good and honourable those intentions may seem to those who take part).

While I acknowledge that Jamison's story is a deeply personal one. It is not one I think we should be hearing. Because regardless of whether a family does love their queer son, I wonder if it is love, if their politics, (which impacts their son greatly) goes against their son's ability to live life on equal terms.

Thank you to NetGalley and IBPA for allowing me to read an e-arc of this book.