I really, really wanted to like this book but it was just SO unhealthy.

It’s very clear the author experienced a lot of personal trauma in her life and in an attempt to be some woke feminist is trying to write about it, but it doesn’t come off that way. It’s very clear she still has real issues that she struggles with and should seek counseling for.

This made me uncomfortable and sad and was only about 20% of the way through where I couldn’t take her making excuses for her clearly damaging parents. DNF.

This memoir in essays was so entertaining. Covering everything from body image to reality TV stars, Sophia Benoit really covered it all in these essays. I loved how seamlessly she went from having me laughing out loud at her lists or other experiences, to how real and deep she got - especially when talking about learning to love herself. If you are looking for a fun memoir, look no further!

I have been following Sophia on Twitter for years, so the moment I saw this on NetGalley I knew I needed to request it. I wanted to learn more about her and see what she had offer in terms of writing a book.

However, this let me down. I hate rating a memoir because it is like I am rating my enjoyment of someone else’s life. This is a series of essays about Sophia’s life going from childhood to adulthood. I enjoyed the raw delivery and how you could actually see her truth in how she is.

There were essays that really dragged and part of the time reading I was just waiting for it to be over. The other half of the time I was enjoying myself and laughing.

This is a very middle of the road memoir for me.

It’s really weird read to read a memoir by someone who is only 15 months older than me. Like what could someone my age possibly have to say about their life that’s going to take 300+ pages? I did enjoy knowing all the cultural references, but it was still weird. I do not follow Sophia on Twitter and only knew who she was because of the episode of Fated Mates she was a guest on. I was expecting more about her job as an advise columnist rather than half of one of the essays being dedicated to that topic.

The book is a collection of essays and is frankly exhausting to read. The book is about as long as most book that I easily read in one sitting but this took me over a month to read. Some of the sections were absolutely delightful and I found very relatable, but others just dragged and felt like a trauma dump. This book is only going to appeal to millennials. The glib bordering on sarcastic tone will easily be misunderstood by older generations any based on the Goodreads reviews out there, the generational divide amongst readers is already becoming apparent.

Overall I really wanted to enjoy the book more than I did. I will say, usually I listen to memoirs rather than read them and maybe if I would have listened to this I would have enjoyed it more. I did highlight a lot of passages, my favorite of which is, “I fancied myself quite nomadic, when really I had just seen The Lizzie McGuire Movie a few to many times and wanted to go get sexed up by a hot guy in a foreign city.” because that’s just my forever mood.

Thank you to Gallery Books and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Enjoyable collection of essays from Sophia Benoit, but the comparisons to "Shrill" are overhyped. Shill is....Lindy's masterpiece. This is more... modern Nora Ephron.

While I enjoyed these essays, I did find myself....exhausted with the book very quickly. Sometimes I find these sort of collections forced. Not everyone is Lindy West or Sheila Heti. It's not always going to work.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review.

I'll be honest, I went into this book ready to love it. I follow Sophia on Twitter and think she's hilarious so of course, I wanted to read her book!

I have only two complaints when it comes to this collection of essays:

One, reading it on my phone (the easiest way for me to read my NetGalley books) made it hard for me to fully appreciate the footnotes. There were so many of them and they were funny when I could easily navigate from the main prose to the footnotes themselves. But it was hard to do that all the time.

Two, these essays are separated into sections and I don't feel like the sections held up very well as a whole. Each essay was entertaining, but I feel like they could have been organized together better.

Overall, this book was entertaining and a fun way for me to pass the time without feeling like there was no substance.

I liked the cover and I liked the little blurb but I had not heard of the author, and I was not prepared. I pride myself on not being shocked by much, having read and lived a variety of experiences however, this coming of age/adulthood memoir essential dug up any traumatic growing up memories I have that I thought were buried deep enough.

Heres the straight up 🫖 : it is extremely vulgar, crass, and inappropriate, and I had second hand embarrassment reading it…. And probably first hand embarrassment because although as much as I wish these stories and truth she shares weren’t believable, they are and I relate too much to save my dignity at this point.
If you pick this up, be extremely prepared to feel naked with some raw second day sunburn skin with an itchy tag on a shirt rubbing too much.

This book reminds me how HARD growing up is. How awkward and disappointing, reconciling what you thought growing up would be like and what its actually like. I feel that I am still in the midst of that situation, with the scales slowly peeling off my eyeballs, and nothing is as shiny as I thought, but most things aren’t as bad either. Except looking back to 15-21 year old experiences as now 26 year old. That is just plain tough. Sophia is a GQ sex column writer, which I found out shortly after starting and then upon what I immediately read in the first chapter googling what kind of psycho would right this stuff after a dedication to her parents… but something weird happened in that I couldn’t put it down…
She writes with humor, sarcasm, dramatic commentary on her own writing that I find hil-ar-i-ous after an initial full body cringe.

“I thought I would grow up to be the kind of adult that could go to Target and buy whatever she wanted without readjusting the budget.” Didn’t we all. She talks explicitly about how she didn’t fit in and the ways she attempted to, and although its slightly extreme, it is so horrifyingly relatable.

Actually,
I think those last two words sum up the whole book.

Author and Columnist Navigates Adulting in Well, This Is Exhausting

GQ columnist and stand-up comedian Sophia Benoit is that rare combo of wisecracking friend and tough older sister in Well, This is Exhausting, her new memoir in essays. Benoit delves into her own history of growing up in two households, struggling with weight issues and forming problematic relationships with guys. But WTIE is less about life events and more about commentary on those events. And then commentary on the commentary (Unlike most books, you do NOT want to skip the footnotes. Light is shed there. Laughs are had. Ditto the introduction). However, the book does not follow the well-worn comedic pattern of anecdotal set-up followed by pithy punch line. Benoit is funny, but she also has some serious things to say about being a woman in the 21st century.
Mostly that it is, well, exhausting. That this is due to societal expectations is probably not a news flash to most of us, but Benoit points out some of the more subtle and insidious messages that are so much a part of our landscape that we seldom even see them—we see the forest, all right, but miss a lot of specific trees. As an overweight teen, Benoit found that it was always up to the overweight person to accommodate, to fit in, to make sure that she wasn’t dragging down the group in some way. Under the guise of helpfulness, people were always analyzing what her “problem” was: she had too much going on in her life, she had too little going on in her life, she just didn’t know what healthy choices were. In the chapter entitled, “Sorry Dove, But I Am Never Going To Love My Body” Benoit points out that even a seemingly positive message can be loaded with a lot of pressure.
Also exhausting is the constant battle to be heard, to have one’s opinions validated. Cultural taste, for instance, is usually defined by whatever straight white males of a certain income level like, according to Benoit: “The Proposal made more money than Step Brothers, and we got like 5,000 more hilarious midlevel comedy films and very few more midlevel, well written rom-coms.” When Benoit champions The Bachelor, she is ridiculed, but when her boyfriend says it’s actually a pretty good show, “absolutely no one—no one! ever treats him like a vapid airhead.” (What female hasn’t had the experience of putting out an idea in a work meeting, watching it drop, and then seeing her idea picked up later by a man and suddenly praised?)
Benoit is probably best known as a sex and relationship columnist, and she definitely covers those thorny topics in essays such as “One Time I Listened to the Sara Bareilles Song ‘Brave’ to Work Up the Courage to Ask a Guy Out (I’m Embarrassed for Me Too)” and “How to Hate Yourself Enough That Men Will Like You (But Not So Much That They’ll Be Turned Off ).” Hopefully you’re picking up on the sarcasm there. Benoit is able to give advice because she’s done most of the things she is telling her audience not to do. Some of her stories are excruciatingly funny, and some are just excruciating, but her underlying message is one of personal empowerment. Benoit’s takeaway? “ Find people who seem brave and kind and surround yourself with them and emulate them (not in a creepy way!) slowly until you become braver and kinder.” Not a bad life motto.

There is nothing wrong with this book, it simply seems a repeat of other memoirs. Her parents divorce and her weight problem are familiar themes.

I’ve followed Sophia Benoit on Twitter for years and have enjoyed her sense of humor, so I was excited to get her book of essays as an ARC from NetGalley. I resonated with the parts where she talks about the burden of being a responsible adult and a hypochondriac. I found myself nodding in agreement as she outlines many ways women are held to ludicrous standards that men are never forced to meet. Overall, I liked hearing more about her life and her beliefs and values as someone who feels like they’ve been tuned in to her on Twitter for many years.

My only hiccups with the book were that it felt a bit disorganized in a way I can’t fully put my finger on, like it was trying to champion too many different causes (which I realize isn’t a great critique because we are multifaceted humans who can and should care about more than one thing), or it could’ve just been that the writing feels sort of “stream of consciousness” and is filled with footnotes in every chapter, which was overwhelming in e-book format.

All in all, it was good. If you’re a woman of similar age to the author, as I am, you’re sure to find at least a few chapters that you can truly resonate with, you’ll find some laughs in its pages, and you’ll find your time well spent.

Benoit is a little exhausting so the title is apt. I felt like the middle essays about her college years and young adult hood were the strongest. I wish she had concentrated the whole book on that era. The essays about her childhood and older adulthood (for lack of a better term) weren't quite as enjoyable.

Sophia Benoit’s memoir is written mostly in chronological order, in sections covering her childhood, teenage years, college and early twenties. She writes mostly about family and relationships, both romantic ones and with friends. Her writing is frank and funny, and while she is straightforward about knowing not everyone has the same kinds of experiences, there’s likely at least a few things you’ll relate to. I was initially excited just reading through the names of the sections and chapters, because I could tell she and I have a similar sense of humor. The book took me a bit of time to get into, and I definitely found the middle part of the book to be the most fun to read and the most relatable (where she gets into stories about college, sex, and dating apps). There were a few points throughout the book that I feel were maybe reiterated a little too often, as well as places where I felt she was going out of her way to clarify/address the one or two situations where what she’s discussing DOESN’T apply. I’m all for inclusivity, it just got to be a little much at times—as if she was worried about backlash and thus making sure to address every possible comment. I get it, she’s used to online hate, but it’s her memoir! I don’t feel she needed to do this in every instance. Overall, her writing is really funny and I found many parts to be very relatable. The footnotes took me a bit of time to get used to and are much easier to read in print than e-book, but there were some great sidebars and quips included there. Even if you’ve never read Sophia’s writing, if you’re a writer, a twenty-something woman, on Twitter, a pop culture fan, or just someone who likes modern memoirs, you’ll probably enjoy this book!

It really was exhausting (and disappointing) reading this collection of essays. I have never heard of Sophia Benoit before because I do not use twitter, I stopped four years ago because there was no point to it. ANYWAYS, THIS BOOK was exhausting because it touching on important feminist issues and i did not mind mind the bad/foul language throughout,; HOWEVER, all the essays seemed like a complaint and I felt myself not caring what Benoit was writing about. FYI TO Benoit- the reader needs to care and/or relate to what you have written. Honestly, I read some of these and skimmed through the others. Not what I expected and not funny.

Disappointing and disappointed. Cannot recommend and would not read from this author in the future.

Thanks to Netgalley, Sophia Benoit and Gallery Books for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Available: 7/13/21

It really is... Exhausting, that is. I had no idea who Sophia Benoit was before I requested this, but it sounded clever and snarky and I do enjoy essays, particularly those that tackle women's issues in the manner of Jia Tolentino and Roxane Gay, so I thought I would give this one a try. Apparently I'm too old for this particular autho though, because from the beginning I was rolling my eyes and irritated... It felt like whining. It felt like an overabundance of crudity and vulgarity for the sake of attention- getting and shock value. What it didn't feel like was the type of thought- provoking, biting, social-commentary- with-soul I was hoping for...

It is entirely probable that I am simply not her demographic, and that was the issue. If you are, and are familiar with her already, or find the twitterverse fascinating, this book may well work for you. But it did nothing at all for me and I gave up on it.

I don't usually read books like Well, This Is Exhausting (collection of personal, satirical essays) but I really enjoyed it!!! The author is witty and hilarious, I had a fantastic time getting inside her head from the first page until the very last!!

This book is a memoir, written by the GQ advise columnist and Twitter personality Sophia Benoit. I’m not much of a magazine reader, nor do I have a Twitter. But, the description of this book really intrigued me!

Sophia writes about the struggle to do the “right” thing—to make others comfortable, to take minimal and calculated risks, to live up to society’s expectations—only to realize that there was so little payoff. She talks about her journey from being a good girl, to a proud feminist. She speaks with no filter (which I can appreciate), she lays everything bare for you, the good and the bad decisions she’s made throughout her life.

Sophia’s memoir is HILARIOUS, raw, and relatable and I loved it! I’ve lost count of how many times she mentions the word titties. This might be the funniest book I’ve read in a loooong time, considering I tend to gravitate towards books with sad and depressing tropes. Honestly, she is me and I was her growing up and transitioning into adulthood.

A few things I didn’t find enjoyable was the footnotes and annotations.. I ended up just skipping them altogether. I loved all her side remarks and comments, I just wish she would have put them in the chapter instead of adding them into the footnotes.

Other than that I completely enjoyed this book, I would recommend it to all of my friends who would benefit from some funny feminist thought.

I LOVED THIS! I loved this so much that I already pre-ordered 5 copies for friends. I laughed out loud but also felt so connected to these stories, and I truly kept thinking, "Damn. We all really do live the same life, don't we?"

The hardest part is not being able to screenshot and share text from an ARC, but I can't wait for the release.

Thank you for this advanced copy!!

Sophia Benoit’s ‘Well, This is Exhausting’ is bright, effervescent, and full of wit.

Benoit is young, yes, but she’s lived an interesting life and has a lot of self-awareness and maturity. She’s refreshingly open and honest about herself, and doesn’t shy away from discussing weightier issues involving sexism, abuse, racism, privilege, and classism. She’s also quite hilarious, as well as an adept writer. I love how frankly she discusses sex, desire, expectations, and realities. Her writing is real, raw, clever, and thoroughly entertaining.

If you’re looking for something that is as thought-provoking as it is hilarious, ‘Well, This is Exhausting’ is the book for you.

Thank you to NetGalley and Gallery Books for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Thank you #netgalley for the advanced copy!

Sophia shares many different personal essays about her life experiences. I was not familiar with her social media or GQ account, but I appreciated her honesty in admitting that she wasn't always right or didn't always do the right thing. We learn about her teen years and struggles, her funny college experiences and her adult life. There are serious topics such as her struggle with food relationships, how she let men treat her, and how at times she didn't put herself or her needs as a priority. She often makes jokes out of the situations and tries to illustrate them as learning experiences.

Oh, how this book resonated with me. Sophia Benoit has spent the better part of her life attempting to fit into a mold of being good, doing the right thing, living up to the ideals society things a young woman should partake in. And god, is it boring, empty, and exhausting. Documenting her shift from hopeful good girl to loud and proud disruptor and feminist, Benoit will have you laughing, crying, and yelling YES as you flip through the pages of this refreshing look at what it's like to be a woman trying to find her footing in today's world.

Thank you to NetGalley and Gallery Books for advance access to this title!