Such a beautiful memoir and difficult to read. This is solely based around mental illness and the damage it can do to us and those around us.

Mia Hayes and her husband, James, had a happy marriage and idyllic life with their three boys in a flat in a house in San Francisco where his family had lived for five generations; his parents lived in a flat on a lower floor. Mia “was a whirlwind” in trying out new projects regularly, and James “was the calm hand that steadied the ship.”

Then on a rainy November day, he headed off to work on his Vespa while Mia waited for an editor to call about the manuscript she had written. And their lives changed drastically not long afterward: James was hit by a truck and trapped under it. Miraculously, his injuries were minor initially, considering the severity of the accident. But his personality changed; James became angry and withdrawn, and many of his memories of their life together were gone. Mia did everything she could to help him, to love him, to bring him back to her, to their family. Then he had an affair. The combination of events led her to experience her own serious breakdown.

I went into this book thinking it was primarily about a couple dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic brain injury, so I was taken aback by what I can mostly describe as a memoir of utter chaos. James’ accident started a yearslong unraveling — of the couple’s formerly solid and happy relationship, of James’ and Mia’s personalities and mental health, of their family. The story is raw and unfiltered, and reading it feels like driving slowly by a miles-long accident of epic proportions. On one hand, it felt as if some of it could have been avoided or mitigated if they had gotten proper help initially or at least a lot earlier than they did, but they simply put on a show to the world that everything was fine. They did have support from his parents and her parents, which was vital, as they were able to watch their boys for extended periods of time while Mia went to Paris for weeks on her own, then was joined by James.

I still don’t know why her family call her Bee, and that’s part of the title of the book. Either I missed the brief explanation or she left it out, which seems an obvious fact to include.

Always Yours, Bee is a wide-open window into a couple’s journey through some incredibly difficult experiences and their eventual healing. It’s dark and honest, and that straight-up, leave-out-no-details honesty about infidelity and mental illness could do a lot of good for some people who read it. For me, I likely would have passed on reading it had I realized that it wasn’t just about how a couple dealt with the husband’s brain injury. This was just a lot of major craziness I didn’t see coming and was happy to leave behind when it was over.

This book was a bit hard to get into. The narrative was repetitive and I just could not finish although I tried a couple times to read it.

Thank you #netgalley for the opportunity to get my hands on this ARC.

Thank you to Mia Hayes and FinnStar Publishing for providing me with an ARC copy of ‘Always Yours, Bee’ via Netgalley in exchange for my honest review and opinions.

This is a profound book that will leave you feeling heavy hearted, confronted, but also unimaginably proud of the author and her family.

Genre: Memoir, Non-fiction
Overall: 5/5
Themes: 5/5
Writing and Setting: 5/5

Content Warning: * Suicide ideology, adultery, self – harm, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, graphic depictions of mental illness (PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Addiction, Co-dependency, borderline personality disorder), and more* - this is a very – for lack of a better word – heavy book that I strongly recommend only for mature audiences. This is a book that shouldn’t be taken lightly and should be read over time with the addition of mindfulness techniques and mental health practices if necessary. *

Review:
I am currently working and studying within the health and mental health industry, and it’s not often that you come across literature that details what actual mental illness looks and feels like for not only the sufferer, but also their family and friends. This book is brutally honest from the get go and some may find it incredibly confronting, but for myself, I saw it as an achievement for the health/mental health industry. There isn’t enough good examples out there in the world, so this book is only going to aid in breaking down stigmatised views, change societal values and aid in teaching how mental health should be approached. Mia Hayes is an inspiration to me.

In my profession, I have seen people crippled and lose their battle with mental illness, yet the bravery alone in combating everything that Mia has gone through, and also come out of this all as a relatively functioning human being that can look after her children, can write novels, love her husband again, is nothing short of astonishing. This is a profound book that will leave you feeling heavy hearted, confronted, but also unimaginably proud of the author and her family.

Everything you read is real and raw and the heartache spills from every word, but there is such a radiant beauty in this book that I struggle to even comprehend. The writing style and layout of this book is absolutely fantastic. Mia’s story is clear, razor sharp and easy to move through, and I think that’s part of the reason why this book was such an addictive read.

I implore you to step out of your comfort zone if you think you are ready and simply go on this journey with Mia, if not for yourself, but for her.

Sometimes an accident can ruin not only the life of the person who suffers it, but also that of everyone around them. Sometimes embracing change may be more helpful than trying to resist it. Sometimes you just need a lot of luck, because love is not enough.

A volte un incidente puó rovinare non soltanto la vita della persona che lo subisce, ma anche di tutti coloro che lo circondano. A volte abbracciare i cambiamenti potrebbe essere piú utile che cercare di resistergli. A volte c'é solo bisogno di tanta fortuna, perché l'amore non basta.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this book in exchange of a honest review.

Always Yours, Bee is a tough, raw and very frank book, difficult to read at times, but worth the time and effort. The author, Mia Hayes, is writing about her life and marriage in the aftermath of a serious accident that almost cost her husband his life. While travelling to work on a scooter, he was hit by a truck and while his injuries seemed almost miraculously superficial at first, it was later discovered that he had sustained a traumatic brain injury that caused memory loss and a range of psychological issues , most notably PTSD.
Mia is so busy focussing on her husband and his recovery that she does not notice her own mental health falling into disarray and this ,combined with the guilt she feels about the accident because she was too busy to drive him, pushes her into bipolar depression.
It must have taken great courage on the part of the author to lay her life bare with such raw honesty. She does not sugar coat her failings , or those of her husband and as I said previously this can make for difficult reading at times, most notable when she talks about self harming or the despair she felt when her husband no longer remembers why he loved her.
This is a very personal journey, dealing with issues like infidelity, suicidal ideation and self harm , and Mia holds both herself and her husband to the same set of standards as she shares how they worked through all the issues while trying to decide if their relationship was worth saving , or if their co-dependence was dragging both of them down.
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, all opinions are my own.

Raw and real, this book is that and more. Nice to read what has happened after.

Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.