I feel like this is valuable information and is well written. However, I was not able to finish. Apparently, I still have some healing to do.

I deeply appreciated the way Robinson writes about such a sensitive topic with care, compassion, and wisdom. This is a subject the Church needs to speak more about, and I am grateful for the chance to read and glean knowledge from someone who has been in the depths of the battle with suicide and depression.

NOTE: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher for an honest review.

If you are suffering with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You matter.

The author of this book pulls off a beautiful combination of being deeply vulnerable with her own story and providing genuine help to Christians who suffer from mental health conditions. It’s important to keep in mind that as the author herself points out, she is not a licensed mental health professional or a theologian. Still, as someone who is training to be a licensed professional counselor, I found her perspective to be refreshing and a much needed new voice in Christian nonfiction.

The author does a beautiful job of providing perspective for those who wish to help others in the church, those who might be well-meaning, but who might reply to someone who is suffering with “you just must not be praying enough.” She speaks about suffering—physical, mental, and spiritual—from a Biblical perspective. She also warns about the dangers of well-meaning but untrained Biblical Counselors leading young people from authoritarian, anti-science families astray when medication and trained mental health counselors are what they need. Her section on what to look for in a mental health counselor or psychiatrist is particularly noteworthy.

The author does a beautiful job of showing that mental health conditions are not moral failings or Christ-followers not having enough faith. She writes about the traditional transformation story of how life is supposed to be better when one is born again; life still has its struggles even after a Christian decided to follow Christ.

This book is part memoir and part guide for Christians who are struggling with depression, suicidal feelings, and related issues. Sarah J. Robinson shares her own story in a sensitive way, illustrating her lifelong struggle with mental illness and the disappointment and confusion she felt when none of these issues resolved after she became a Christian. She dismantles many of the problematic things that church people say about mental health, but she also does this with a spirit of grace, acknowledging that the people who told her these things genuinely didn't know better, wanted to help, and loved and served her in incredibly caring and self-giving ways.

Robinson addresses a variety of different topics throughout the book, interweaving them with her personal story, and writes about ways that struggling people can better understand their issues, pursue help, and take steps towards holistic healing. I appreciate that in addition to writing about therapy and medication, Robinson also writes about how dietary issues can affect mental health, since people don't address this often enough. She also writes about therapy in a very balanced and honest way, writing about how difficult it was for her to finally find someone who could really help her. People often extol therapy as the answer to life's problems, so I appreciated her honesty about how difficult it can be to find a good fit and overcome repeated bad experiences with unhelpful counselors and therapist.

I have just two critiques of this book. One is that some aspects of it seemed repetitive, and I think that the book could have been shorter and more streamlined. The other is that Robinson used trigger warnings in a way that I think is potentially unhelpful. She put the same trigger warning paragraph before memoir elements that spoke about her experiences with cutting or attempting suicide, but the trigger warnings were long, wordy, and repetitive. I would have preferred a short description rather than her restating what she had already said about how readers should be sensitive to themselves, make sure that they're in a good place, take care of themselves, etc.

Also, when Robinson provides a list of suggested reading at the end, she provides trigger warnings for two mental health memoirs, but she doesn't provide any trigger warning at all for "The Body Keeps the Score," even though it is the most graphic book that I and many people have ever read. Even though I think that trigger warnings can be helpful, it frustrates me when they are unevenly applied, since it can make someone think that something that doesn't have a trigger warning doesn't warrant one. I wish that Robinson had consistently and fully applied trigger warnings to recommended resources if she was going to go that route.

My original plan was to have this book read and reviewed a while ago. What I didn't expect, was to deal with some situations that made that impossible and sometimes had me in a bad space mentally. I especially loved that The author gives you permission to skip certain chapters if you're not able to handle them or if they're too triggering for you. This book is highly recommended, and is something that any Christian that has or is still dealing with depression should have in their possession. Phenomenal Job

Depression and suicidal ideation are topics that are not discussed enough between Christians. Many Christians battling such mental health issues often experience emptiness, loneliness, and isolation within their community. Sarah J. Robinson writes with compassion and understanding that speaks to all. Sarah J. Robinson's words are a comfort and will make you feel seen and understood. There is hope in the words she has written as well as a challenge to live a healthy life; a life that God envisioned for you to live. This book contains Scripture and personal stories that will encourage, comfort, and challenge you to live the life God has called you to live. This book will remind you that you are loved and cherished by the One who will always be by your side.


I cannot recommend this book enough. If you have ever felt or feel alone or know anyone struggling with these feelings, this book can shed some light and encouragement to your path.



Note: I have received a copy of this book from Waterbrook Multnomah Pubishing in exchange for an honest review.

A great book that deals with a sensitive topic in an approachable way. I appreciated the author's Biblical basis with this book.

This book has taken me some time to finish, much longer than I anticipated due to several physical health and mental health issues. Which, that seems quite appropriate given the nature of this book. I really liked the way the chapters were set up and I appreciated the honesty the author brought into her work. As a female, it was nice to hear about suicidal ideation from a female Christian perspective since most tend to be men. Or men telling us that it’s demons haunting us or we’re not praying hard enough. This wasn’t like that and I loved that.

I Love Jesus But I Want to Die
Thank you to the author for being so open and vulnerable. Depression is usually not spoken of, saying that all is fine. This book tells it realistically, in words that we need to hear.

It took me longer to read -- I didn’t want to miss anything. There is such a need for books on mental illness with a Biblical emphasis, especially the truth. At the beginning of the book, Sarah says: ‘it means nothing is wrong with us when we struggle in the darkness. It means we haven’t failed, we aren’t bad Christians, and we’re not lacking faith. Jesus promised we would have trials and sorrows and hard times.”

This book is written with Biblical truths and their practical applications. There is helpful input from other therapists, authors, and specialists in the fields of mental illness and depression.

Sarah writes with a hallowed honesty as she recounts her experiences of depression’s grip: her attempt to die, her habit of cutting, consistent dark thinking, and the shame that kept her from asking for help for the longest time. (Sarah kindly puts “trigger warnings” in places of the book to let the reader be prepared.) When she received help from fellow ministry leaders, she received love and guidance. Now, Sarah realizes that church leaders are woefully untrained to help fellow parishioners with this issue.

Like many who deal with depression, Sarah’s self-talk continually told her to work harder, help others, and have more faith. There is a lot of shame you carry when you have depression. That inner voice tells you to “get on with it” and “pushing through will make you stronger.” While that may help some in temporary situations, it is not what happens with those of us who deal with depression and anxiety as an illness. Just because you are a Christian doesn’t mean that you can endure depression without trouble.

Through time and work, Sarah now benefits from medicines from her doctor and helpful therapy from counselors. She understands the need to be ruthless with self-care, set boundaries for herself, and continue learned strategies for beating back the darkness when it comes. A realization was that as much as she loved Jesus, receiving complete healing from her mental illness is probably not in her future. However, she says: “When we endure suffering, including mental illness, we have the opportunity to know God in an incarnational way.” And I believe that she has.

This book is not just for those with depression and anxiety looking for confirmation and strategies for their own mental health. It is also for their loved ones, friends, plus people in ministry. It gives an intimate look at the mechanisms of depression: how that person thinks, the right and wrong ways to lend support, and how to listen and love well. People with mental illness believe they are irrevocably broken. Their shame is a “self-reinforcing loop, turning back on itself to create more and more as we feel shame about our shame.” Those with depression need support, understanding, and hope toward living better. For a family member who struggles, saying something such as “I don’t think less of you” and “you’re still worth loving” is priceless.

By Sarah’s example, I hope readers realize the need to recognize those struggling and reach out with love and encouragement. I’m thankful for Sarah’s courage in sharing her story: the pain, struggles, her path to acceptance, and healthier living.

Her words are an inspiration to me as I progress along the same road. I was heartened to read how self-talk can be changed. Self-care isn’t an option but a necessity. Boundaries are an essential tool of self-preservation. I was uplifted, affirmed, and empowered. This book will become one of the tools in my arsenal that I will reach for again.

Sarah’s vulnerability, life experience, and practical insights make this book a must read for those who may be struggling with depression and anxiety. It’s given me a starting place for next steps.

As someone who has struggled with depression for so long, I can't recommend this book enough. We live in a society where mental illness isn't talked about. This book makes us take a look at it. If you or someone you love struggles with depression I would recommend reading this!

Due to my past, there were parts of this book which I needed to skip over. Applause to the author for providing notification to possible sensitive areas. With that said, the sections which I did read were very well written and informative. Very much appreciated this read and took a lot away from it to help with my healing. Confident in saying that all who read this will be blessed.

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die is exactly what I have needed with my recent mental health struggles. I have been wondering how my faith plays into all of that, and this book brought some answers and reassurance. Sarah is honest and vulnerable about her own struggles as a reminder that none of us are alone. I appreciated that she added trigger warnings and boxed off parts that may have been triggering for some in order to be able to avoid those parts. The tips included in this book are helpful as well. This is a shame-free book about mental health and the role of faith in it. reminding us that God is there to love us and walk with us through it all. I felt seen and loved throughout my experience reading this book. This book brought so much hope, and I am so grateful to have read it.

I read this book for a couple of reasons. One, I had OCD for nearly 30 years; I had some depressive episodes along the way. Two years ago I was set free! Additionally, I know people who struggle with depression as I am a teacher. Being curious, I wanted to see how the author approached the topic. There were things I identified with either for myself or on behalf of others. The author is very good at relating to the reader and expressing the heartache of what she has and continues to go through. There are many things that are helpful to the reader such as meditating on Scripture, waiting on the Lord to show passages or verses that are specifically helpful to us, and believing that the Lord loves us (He created us).

However, there were things that also made an appearance into the book that are not Christian and are clearly anti-Christian such as mindfulness, yoga, and making the following statements about God in her notes section in the back: "God is much more than male; after all, he is spirit and doesn't possess a gendered body. Scripture is full of beautiful, feminine descriptions of God." Jesus Christ is certainly not female and God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are all One. The note correlates to this at the beginning of the book: "For that reason, and many others, assigning a gender to the God who created both male and female as equal image bearers is uncomfortable for many. That said, I've chosen to speak about God in traditional ways, including masculine pronouns, though I acknowledge that may be difficult for believers with different backgrounds and faith experiences. I've done this because it is most familiar to the majority of my readers as well as me. If this is foreign or strange to you, please keep in mind that all our little words are simply signposts pointing to a God whose fullness defies description."

There are things that can be helpful in the book, but there are things that are not Biblical. Please just be aware if you read this book.
I voluntarily received a complimentary copy from WaterBrook and Multnomah. All opinions and thoughts are my own.

In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers readers an honest, Christian perspective on wrestling with mental health challenges. Specifically, she shares her experiences with depression and suicidal thoughts.

I’m thankful that Robinson discusses medication and therapy in a positive light. In certain religious circles, when mental health issues arise, the traditional thing to do is to tell people to “pray on it”—and nothing more. Yet believing in God isn’t enough, when human beings need solutions for the challenges in our very real, very human lives. Furthermore, He provided us with wisdom enough to have created mental health supports. We have every right to pursue them when necessary.

Overall, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die takes a thoughtful approach to mental health challenges. People in the church who are and are not affected by such issues should give it a read.

I loved this book! As someone who deals with depression, this book validated all of the feelings I've had about depression over the years (I'm too weak, I'm a Christian so I shouldn't feel this way, etc.). Sarah shares her story, but she also helps the reader by offering great insights and practical ideas to help get to better emotional places. The best thing I took from this book was the reassurance that other people feel the way I do at times. I don't have to be ashamed or worried when suicidal thoughts come around. But I can't give up! Better days will come, and all of us can live wonderful lives in spite of dealing with depression.

(I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher and joyfully read it so I could be on Sarah's launch team. I loved it so much, I preordered a physical copy and plan to buy some copies for friends!)

That book title's a bit dark, huh?

But the darkness is where author Sarah J. Robinson has spent most of her life - the darkness of depression. It's something that doesn't often get talked about in Christian circles, or if it is spoken of, it's with derision, as if it's your fault that you feel this way. You must not be praying hard enough.

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die is here to tell you just how untrue that is.

Using Biblical scripture and her personal experiences seeking therapy and medication, Robinson's book aims to help depressed and suicidal readers by showing them that God is still with them. Even in the darkness. Even in the fire. There's no shame in mental illness.

If you have a friend or family member who is depressed and you're wondering how to help them, this book is a great resource, with a whole appendix in the back of the book on what you can do and what to look out for.

And if you're not depressed and you don't know someone who is, I think there are still benefits to reading Robinson's story. It shows how God doesn't leave us even when we're going through tough times. It reminds us that God never said being a Christian would be without hardships. It proves to us that we are worth saving, and there are things we can do to help our minds and bodies heal.

I really enjoyed reading it and took quite a few notes at the end of each chapter.

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die is published by WaterBrook and is available to purchase today! I received a free ARC in exchange for this review.

Robinson narrates her story of depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideations with vulnerability and a painful truth—Christians do wrestle with depression. This statement: “I am not disappointed in you” was spoken to her by a supportive friend and it anchors the totality of the mission of her book as being a “compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days.”

However, this book is not just her sincere personal story and self-help book, but also a guide for how to help others who struggle with depression.

While I do not share her brand of faith and believe some of her ideas to be unbiblical, I found many of her suggestions valuable. Aside from creating a support team, one of my favorites was to “put plans in place for the bad days.”

I appreciate that she is bringing to light the difficult, upsetting, and substantial truth about the universal and extensive reality of mental health issues that have for years baffled and plagued clueless faith leaders.

This is a *Must Read* book and should be in every library. If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, grab this book. It is well written and easy to understand. Thank you WaterBrook & Multnomah via NetGalley for the ARC copy of this book. All opinions expressed are my own.