Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me a free advanced copy of this book to read and review.

No one writes better about the personal relationship between culture and girlhood than Nichole Perkins, a popular cultural commentator and writer. Her first book is a page turner, a singular and seamless blend of memoir and cultural analysis. I found her words heart-wrenching.

As a former host of "The Thirst-Aid Kit," a podcast aimed at analyzing the intersection of sexual desire and popular culture, the way Perkins writes about her burgeoning sexuality and the awareness of how that's different when you're Black is particularly effective. She exposes the pervasive shaming around sex, and how it's not equally distributed. Societal rules differ by race (for Black girls versus white girls) and gender (for Black boys and Black girls). Too often, Black girls have been relentlessly shamed, and that formative personal experience has been reinforced by the culture.

That experience can be crushing. So, unlike the dearth of love stories for Black girls in film and television when Nichole was growing up: "There were plenty of sassy Black teenagers on television, in characters like Dee Thomas on What's Happening!! or Tootie on The Facts of Life. These girls always had a smart remark ready on their lips and got plenty of laughs, but just like in real life around my way, every crush they had led to lectures or scolds... Images of white girls in love came easily, but everywhere I turned black girls were warned."

That passage is just one example of how Perkins' work blends passion and analysis. My list of highlights is endless. Like in a confessional conversation, albeit one that is as incisive as it is emotional, Perkins is adept at connecting personal experience to cultural and social practices.

Thank you for the advanced copy of this book! I will be posting my review on social media, to include Instagram, Amazon, Goodreads, and Instagram!

Poetically written stories of coming of age and sexual awakening. Her prose were a pleasure to read and lulled me into a sense of tranquility.

I cannot put this down - this book feels like sitting with Nichole over tea and listening to her tell me about her day in the best possible way. So compelling and well-written.

I really enjoyed this essay compilation/memoir. it was engaging and funny, as well as offered a unique perspective.

I featured this book as a Book of the Day spotlight and included it in my weekly roundup and monthly post of new releases on my Black Fiction Addiction platforms.

From the first essay to the last, I felt as if I was somewhere with my girls, my sister, my aunt, or just strangers at beauty salon. These essays are conversation topics that every woman or girl should have or had in the past. This memoir essays explores living in the south, sexuality, family and much more. The first 3 essays are very intriguing. The woman who shouts speak to me on some many level, I would hate to indulge but that essay resonates in me because it’s me, I felt she was telling my life. This collection of essays is a must read and completely relatable especially growing up in the south! I am very excited to see what Nichole Perkins come out with next!!


Is it worth reading: Absolutely

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This collection of essays follows the author’s journey as she claimed her power. Some stories made me laugh out loud, some were more serious and tough to read, the essays covered everything from Janet Jackson, to sexuality, to chat rooms, and so much more. It was powerful to see her really come into her own in these essays, and her honesty and fantastic storytelling really made this book.

𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙄 𝙏𝙧𝙞𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙃𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙒𝙚 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝘽𝙚 recounts the memories, the experiences, and the regrets of Nichole Perkins’ life as an uninhibited, sexualized black woman. Instead of conforming to the rigid standards of sexuality regulated for women, Perkins refused to accept that “the worst thing a little Black girl can be is fast.” She learned early in life that her body is her greatest asset and she was in control of it: “I resented people trying to be the authority on my body. A quick scan, and they think they know you.” In the following essays, Perkins holds all the power and happily shares the beauty of what could be if you let go, too.

Perkins’ collection of essays become the conversations you wished you had with an auntie or a close family friend. Her words lack judgment and offer compassion and understanding. You don’t fear your mama or daddy being shamed because YOUR business as a young adult somehow becomes their burden to bear. The damaging traditions of Southern living keeps therapists working overtime.

She often throws gems into the collection that may help you on your own journey too, depending on what hits you in your gut as you read. For example—I find this one particularly important to highlight—“I’m learning how to be vulnerable and protected at the same time.” For someone like me that believes in the “Black woman is superwoman” notion, I must understand I need to be vulnerable and take off the cape.

I didn’t enjoy every essay in the collection, but I enjoyed about 3/4ths of them, but felt really connected to “Fast” and “Call It By Its Name” because they both resonated with my own identity as a teenage mother and a college student who was sexually assaulted and didn’t report it. While a reader may not particularly find a way to connect with each piece here, I can attest that they will be shaking their heads in tandem while reading.

𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙄 𝙏𝙧𝙞𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙃𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙒𝙚 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝘽𝙚 is a solid collection. You’ll be unhappy if you’re the only one missing out.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Perkins is INSPIRATIONAL. While I am not well-versed in pop culture and didn't understand some references (but the reference to BONES hit me in so many ways), I appreciated many of the individual pieces in SOMETIMES I TRIP ON HOW HAPPY WE COULD BE. Perkins tells her experiences with humor and honesty - this is the first memoir I've read that tackles and breathes sex positivity and I'm grateful to read about Perkin's experience forming her identity in that particular area.

Thank you NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for the ARC!

Outstanding. Perkins tells her story with unflinching honesty but she incorporates an edgy humor to create a delicate balance that keeps the reader engaged.

I loved all of the stories in this memoir. It was raw, sometimes heartbreaking, but also inspiring. It highlights so many nuances driven by both society and family relationships that create both insecurities and empowerment within women. I loved how Perkins has taken control of her sexuality throughout her life written in the book and even though at times she may have faltered, her exploration and willingness to figure out what works for her was so interested to read. Some of the stories were very spicy and I really enjoyed them. I definitely learned some new things!

Thank you to @netgalley and @GrandCentralpub for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Nicole Perkins has the hot girl book of the summer and it is a collection of nonfiction essays about her life. The essays deal with topics such as sexuality, mental health,religion, growing up a Black woman in the south, her family and dating life.

The honesty in which she talks about these subjects is at once refreshing and jarring. The stories she tells at times reads like the steamiest of romance novels and at others deals with memories of pain. Yet she talks about it all trivial or profound unabashed with the flair of a master storyteller.

You never know where her essays will take you but as she expertly discusses each topic I was more than willing to follow.

This memoir/essay collection was one of my favorite reads of the summer. It was the first book of Ms Perkins's that I have read but with a voice as powerful as hers it definitely won't be my last.

Included as a top pick in bimonthly August New Releases post, which highlights and promotes upcoming releases of the month (link attached)

In Sometimes I Trip on How Happy We Could Be (a line from “If I Was Your Girlfriend” by Prince, which I didn’t realize until reading this book; I was only familiar with the early 90s TLC version from the album Crazy Sexy Cool), Nichole Perkins takes the reader on a journey through her life in the form of essays. Her perspective is that of a Southern Black woman, and she talks about a range of subjects including racism, sexism, abuse, drugs, depression, dating, sex, pop culture, religion, and much more. There are seemingly no topics that are off limits, and Perkins doesn’t shy away from things many people don’t talk about. This especially comes through in all the open talk about sex and her voracious and varied sexual appetites. She didn’t hold back in laying it all out there, which I really appreciated.

This collection was eye-opening in a lot of ways. As a white woman, I’m not subjected to the same injustices and microaggressions Nichole talks about, but I’m always doing my best to learn more and acknowledge my own privilege and internal biases. That being said, I related to Nichole in multiple ways from her beginnings online in forums to her struggles with mental health and her weight to her love of the TV show Frasier (and her adoration of Niles Crane).


3.5 stars

In these essays, writer and podcaster Nichole Perkins boldly addresses topics often considered too "private" for public discussion: mental health, misogyny, sex positivity, and kink. I really appreciate how Perkins weaves together her own life with pop culture to tell her story, and the way she talks about sex without shame or embarrassment. I wish the essays had a slightly stronger line connecting them, but overall, it's a refreshingly honest collection that I really enjoyed.

- SOMETIMES I TRIP ON HOW HAPPY WE COULD BE is for fans of Roxane Gay, Tressie McMillan Cottom, and of course Perkins' dearly departed podcast Thirst Aid Kit.
- Perkins is working to untangle the messages she received in her youth about how to be a proper Black woman and learn to live her life exactly the way she wants to.
- She is open about everything from sex to church to drugs to love. Some essays I wish were expanded on a little more, but I'll read anything by Perkins - her mix of tender and serious is perfect.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️½

Poet, writer, and podcast host Nichole Perkins shares a collection of essays of her experiences on many different topics in this nonfiction book. She covers topics like sexuality, church and religion, body image, her experiences as a Black woman in the dating world, and mental health.

What did I like the most about this book? I loved that Perkins was honest and open about her not-your-average sex life and her voracious appetite for sex. This was a running theme throughout the book and most of the chapters touched on this in one form another. But this book wasn't just about sex. It was about how societal expectations about sex and women have played into her self esteem and body image; how her body and sex has affected her relationship with the men in her life; how her wants and needs as a woman have changed over the years.

Perkins is a gifted writer and storyteller, weaving in humor, pop culture and social commentary into her stories. I am astounded by her ability to put herself out there, sharing her experiences and thoughts that most would want to keep private. I feel like I'm not doing this book justice with my review, but I highly recommend this book! If you are a fan of romance books like Perkins and I are, pick up this nonfiction read for a change of pace. It's got some steamy content that you can live vicariously through but she also give you lots of food for thought.

⚠️: domestic violence, child abuse, addiction, sexual assault, depression

I'm sorry to say that I had no idea who Nichole Perkins was before I came across this essay collection. Sorry because it so eloquently depicted what it's like being a Black girl who was raised in the South, and reading this collection felt like talking to a friend. In Sometimes I Trip On How Happy We Could Be, Nichole Perkins lays bare her story in such an open and no-holds-barred way. She touches on Black Southern girlhood, sexuality, agency, sibling relationships, parental relationships, infidelity, and feeling at home with yourself. Never since I read Deesha Philyaw's The Secret Lives of Church Ladies have I felt so seen. I'm from North Carolina, and a lot of the things Perkins talked about hit very close to home, like the stories about her mother and grandmother, and the way sex is handled in Black Southern families. It can be a very stifling environment, and Perkins captured that perfectly.

In Sometimes I Trip On How Happy We Could Be, Perkins fully embraces being imperfect. She's made some decisions in her life that may cause some people to raise their eyebrows, but she doesn't shy away from relating them to her reader. She owns them. A Black woman rarely has the space or opportunity to be multifaceted and flawed, and I hope that books like these give other Black women the courage to own their truths.