Cover Image: How We Do Family

How We Do Family

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Member Reviews

Trystan and Biff did an excellent job of explaining transgender terms that didn't seem condescending or fake. I knew most of them but was even educated about others.

I want to work in child welfare in the future and enjoyed reading about Trystan and Biff’s journey to foster and adopt their niece and nephew. I plan to recommend this book to some many people. There are lessons in here for high schools students, recent college grads, new parents, foster parents, people who want to learn about transgender, the list goes on and on….

I enjoyed and envied reading about their careers in social justice topics as well as balancing the rigors of being public figures and parenting traumatized children.

Def 5 stars for me.

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So yes, I have just pulled a all nighter (1-4am) to read this book like honestly I wasn't able to put it down man.

It really shows how much your “average Joe soap” couple here were able to overcome the challenges they faced throughout their time being together. They were able to adopt two children through unfortunate circumstances with their mother, they suffered a miscarriage (cried buckets while reading this part btw), suffered backlash from trolls online when they were expecting their first birth child, you name it. It just is such a captivating real life story that I advise everyone should take a read at and I’m talking about people who are planning to adopt or have a child of their own. We have to take into account though that every couple of course, is different on how they plan their own lives. Trystan and Biff are no different!

If you are a reader real life lifestyle stories, I highly suggest you take a look at this book as you would learn a thing or two from this family regardless of their background!!

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While I find Trystan and Biff's story fascinating, this book did not really bring it to life. All emotions were described almost the way I therapist would, in a detached and analytical way, rather than bringing us into Trystan's emotions. I also felt the book had a self-righteous tone throughout, partly in the book itself, but even more so in the "how-to" sections between each chapter, which felt like unsolicited advice. (unsolicited because I thought I was getting a memoir).

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As a trans person, I have a hard time imagining my future. Their are so few examples of trans adults who are happy with a family. We are constantly fed this cishet family ideal and it makes it hard for people like me to find how we fit into that. This book really helped be able to picture a future family for myself.

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My ebook advanced copy was from Netgalley. The only requirement was that I write a review, regardless of what that might be. I have been honest; Any human that's ever been in a relationship of any kind (and that's all of us!) will relate to Trystan's style and stories; at various points find themselves saying" Yup. I've been there..Oooh! I remember that.... What not everyone can relate to is the transphobia the author and his loved ones had to deal with, on top of the challenges involved in just itbeing a family.Their story, told through the authors eyes in How We Do Family, was funny and heart warming, a love story and parenting book, a lesson in accepting and celebrating differences while defining the treasure of what the word family actually means. Yes, this story is a beautiful example of what is catergorized as LGBTQA+ literature but really? Its about humans and love. Read this. Please. And then tell everyone you know about .

I reviewed this on the BAM! website. Amazon wouldn't accept it yet. Will post it to other places shortly

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Trystan Reese could have written a great novel, instead he has given his readers a fascinating account of life with his husband and the their three children. It was a wonderful story to read, devoid of any unnecessary drama; just a factual telling of his experiences that at the same time manages to be full of heart.

Both Biff and Trystan have a background in organizing, community building, social work and anti-racism and pro-lgbtq outreach and education. As such they are intelligent, caring people heavily involved in their community, which helped a lot when they suddenly took in two foster children and were thrown into the deep end of parenthood over night.

Trystan talks honestly about the challenges they had to face and what a strain was put on their relationship. He also shows how they managed to overcome these difficulties. Each chapter has a section at the end with additional information or helpful suggestions which I found helpful and often inspiring.

Personally, I don't blink an eye at gay and transgender parenthood, although I am aware that this may be a new perspective for many readers - I actually hope so. MY favorite part of the book were the chapters that dealt with Trystan's pregnancy. It took me completely by surprise (this is where I see I need to keep reading and learning) and to be able to see a man go through pregnancy was fascinating. Pregnancy is the one thing ordinarily,that a woman simply can't explain to her male partner.

I also appreciated the parenting choices Trystan describes for all three of their children. It's a goal to reach for in the parenting of my own children.

This is a book for LGBTQ+ readers, those interested in social justice, parents, couples, teens and everyone else. I can't recommend this book enough for the joy of reading this family's story, the information it shares and the inspiration it provides. I will definitely keep coming back to this book.

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I found this to be an excellent read.

I personally am familiar with trans issues and terminology, but I thought Trystan did an excellent job in being clear on trans related terms and definitions for people who may not be as familiar.

The writing was very clear and straightforward, this was a super easy read. I was able to read it in two short sittings. I loved Trystan’s voice and honesty. As somebody who is also trans, I really connected with his struggles about being visible and facing discrimination. This book was on the shorter side, which helped it from getting dull or repetitive.

I’d recommend this book for anybody looking to educate themselves on trans issues or LGBT issues in general.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced e-book in exchange for an honest review.

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Overall, a really educational and interesting read.

The writing was nice and easy to follow, it mainly consisted of personal anecdotes which could be applied to many situations. Each page was necessary, there was no 'filler' content in this book - there is so much to be learned here; regardless of age or identity.

I would recommend for anyone endeavouring to learn more about the LGBT community / further educate themselves on trans issues.

Many thanks to NetGallery for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review :)

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Five Stars! I could not put this book down! I read it in less than a day. This will be one of the books that I will never forget and will recommend to others.

Trystan’s writing style had an easy flow and it felt like he was talking to a friend. He told stories about his family and relationship while providing advice that anyone can benefit from. He definitely gave me a lot of things to think about in my life – how I parent, have a relationship, listen to others, be a friend, etc. There were so many great lessons!

I also learned a lot about what it means to be transgender and some of the obstacles he has had to face. I remember reading the article about the man having a baby a few years ago but this book was an amazing way to learn more about the challenges Trystan faced in order to deliver his son. It also provided me guidance as to how I should talk to transgender people about certain topics – very thought provoking.

I volunteer in child welfare and enjoyed reading about Tystan and Biff’s journey to foster and adopt their niece and nephew.

I plan to recommend this book to some many people. There are lessons in here for high schools students, recent college grads, new parents, foster parents, people who want to learn about transgender, the list goes on and on….

Buy the book, you won’t be disappointed.

I received an advanced copy of this ebook from Net Galley in exchange for my honest review.

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