Memories are what make us who we are - not just individual memories, but how memories interact with other memories and with the people around us. Everyone has memories they suppress, memories they can't deal with, or deal with badly. What if those memories could be removed? Should the procedure be limited to small problems, or expanded to life-altering events?

Blue Owens has experienced some bad things in her life, and the memories of those events are dragging her down. But at 17, should she really have the memories of those formative events removed - "Released", in the words of the doctor who is selling the procedure? What kind of holes will such a procedure leave in her life? How much of the quintessential person will be lost with the loss of memories, especially at such a formative age?

For anyone who has struggled with a difficult event, or a series of difficult events, this book explores how memories make us who we are, how they impact our behavior, and how they shape us even when they can't be recalled. For a short book, it is very intense, and readers should be aware that it deals with death in ways that some people may not be comfortable with. Recommended for readers high school age and older.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

When Blue woke up for school, things didn’t seem quite right. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but things were just off. And then she found the note on her dresser—Meet me on the Little Blue Bus, 7:45, 5/19/32.

Her school besties picked her up for the ride to school, Turtle driving her Jeep and Jack sitting beside her. Blue gets in the car and rides along to school, listening to them talk about senior prank day. The class had gone with an agricultural theme, leaving hay in parking spots and sabotaging many faculty with unexpected water drops. Blue is a little sad about that, how her two best friends are just a week away from graduation, and she still has another year. And Turtle and Jack are so in love, and she’s alone.

Blue goes about her day, despite a bad headache and that nagging feeling that something is wrong. But when she gets to her photography class, she knows something is wrong. All of her work for the entire semester has been ruined. There are streaks where her photos were. The teacher assures Blue that she did the work and got full credit for it, but she can’t explain why Blue has no photos to show for that.

Blue can’t explain why or how there are gaps in her memory, but she’s determined to find out, and she’s going to start by getting on that Little Blue Bus tomorrow, her birthday, and seeing where it takes her.

As soon as she gets on the bus, the driver recognizes her. Blue’s memory is still blank. She grabs a seat and rides as they head up the mountain. She hadn’t remembered the Little Blue Bus at all. She’d had to look it up online to find out what it was, after she read that note. The Little Blue Bus runs from her small town of Owl Nook, New Mexico, up the mountain, so those who ski and snowboard have a direct route to the slopes. The bus continues to make stops up the mountain, and that’s when he gets on.

Blue takes one look at him and knows that this person is significant to her. He sits next to her and introduces himself as Adam. And he has a question for her: “Do you remember me at all?”

Blue is desolate to realize that he has memories of her, but she has nothing in her mind where her memories were. Her journey to try to figure out what happened to her reveals so many secrets, so much pain, so much that had been lost to her. And she has to make a choice—does she want simply to move forward to her life, or does she want to try to recover those memories . . . along with the pain that almost broke her?

Remember Me is a heartbreaking novel of teenage love, loss, and endless grief. The intensity of the feelings comes through every page as Blue and her friends and family go through all the worst that life can serve up and try to keep moving forward. A powerful novel of mental illness and health, of love and hope, of loss and healing, Remember Me is author Estelle Laure’s compelling call to live through the pain and find our way to the other side.

I thought Remember Me was devastating and beautiful. Blue’s pain is so visceral, her grief so consuming, that you can see how she got to the end of her sanity. But watching her journey to the bottom and then back up is inspiring for those of us who face mental illness and want to believe in a future. This book is intense, so it may not be appropriate for everyone, but it does offer a compelling perspective on those who struggle to fit in, struggle to deal with their strong emotions, and struggle to find their place. This is an important book, and I hope the readers who need this story will be able to find it. Because I know those readers are out there.

Egalleys for Remember Me were provided by Wednesday Books through NetGalley, with many thanks.

2.5/5 stars

Remember Me is a YA book that takes place in the near future (2032) and has some romance and some science fiction elements.

The narrator is 17 year old Blue (1st person POV). The story is a bit futuristic, but mostly feels contemporary.

Blue realizes that something is wrong as she can't remember certain things.

Overall this book was just okay for me. The idea was promising. But the book did not capture my attention the way that I hoped that it would. And it reminded me a lot of another YA series.

There are some good supporting characters. Blue's gran. Her best friend Turtle. And there is a non-binary character Jack.

The tagline "if you could erase all of your painful memories would you?" is compelling. I did find the premise interesting. But I just wanted more.

If you could erase all of your painful memories would you?

Blue wakes up one day feeling something is wrong with only a note telling her to get on the Little Blue bus to guide her. She gets on the bus and soon learns from a boy, Adam, that she had paid to have her memories removed. Blue then goes an a journey to try to reclaim her memories and find out why she wanted to lose them in the first place.

This book was beautiful in so many ways, but also so heavy. It very strongly deals with depression, trauma, grief, loss and what it means to move on, and will likely be difficult to read for many people. I enjoyed the build up in this story - there was a lot of tension as we saw flashbacks from Blue’s life before the memory erasing and there was a lot of suspense waiting to learn more about her past. Despite the heavy themes, I thought the ending and the overall message were so beautiful.

Thanks to Wednesday Books and NetGalley for the advanced copy.

Is there anyone who wouldn't like to erase memories of bad things that have happened? This book explores the consequences of what happens if you act on that. In this imagined world where memories can be erased, what seems like a good thing turns out to be as painful as the bad memories. The writing is good in this unique storyline and the book gives a lot of food for thought.

Hey book lovers! I'm here with a new YA romance sci-fi book by Estelle Laure called Remember Me that reminded me of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.



About The Book 📚

Title: Remember Me

Author: Estelle Laure

Publication Date: March 22, 2022

Publisher: Wednesday Books

Suggested Reader Age: 16+

Genre: Romance, Science Fiction, Fantasy, LGBT

"Estelle Laure is a Vonnegut worshipper who believes in love and magic and the power of facing hard truths. She has a BA in Theater Arts from New Mexico State University and an MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults from Vermont College of Fine Arts, and thinks everyone should have to wait tables or work in a kitchen at least once in their lives. She lives in Taos, New Mexico with her children." https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8301727.Estelle_Laure
Author Of: This Raging Light, Mayhem, City of Villains
https://www.estellelaure.com/
› 7:45 am May 18, 2032: Blue wakes up on her 17th birthday to find a note in her pocket that says "MEET ME ON THE LITTLE BLUE BUS". She has no idea how it got there, no idea who wrote it, and no idea what the "Little Blue Bus" is. Blue lives in a town called Owl Nook, New Mexico with her Gran. Blue's parents used to ski all over the world until her mother died in a skiing accident and her father left her with Blue's Gran. Her friend, Turtle, loves everything about saving the environment - wearing used clothes, recycling, reusing, repurposing. Turtle's non-binary partner is the always-sensible, practical Jack. Watching Turtle and Jack together makes her wish she knew what that kind of love felt like...then she wonders if she really never had a boyfriend, and questions why that doesn't quite feel true.

After finding the "Little Blue Bus" Blue meets Adam. She's convinced they've met before, but can't remember where. She eventually starts to piece missing things together and discovers she went to a company called Tabula Rasa (Latin term for clean slate) to delete some of her painful memories - including Adam. For the rest of the book, we're given flashbacks and we learn the truth right along with Blue.

› I use the CAWPILE method to rate books.
0-3 Really bad
4-6 Mediocre
7-9 Really good
10 Outstanding

› Characters: 6
I loved the inclusion of a non-binary character. The trio friend group Turtle, Blue and Jack is my favourite part of the book. However, most of the characters lacked strengths, flaws, conflict and backstory.

› Atmosphere: 5
There is a lack of setting description and emotion. Other reviewers were moved to tears - so don't take my word for it!

› Writing Style: 7
Good quality writing. Readability is okay, but confusing in parts.

› Plot: 6
The beginning is great, it sucked me in and motivated me to keep reading. The middle was muddy and I felt bored. The ending was mediocre and disappointing.

› Intrigue: 7

› Logic: 7
Blue's mother is quickly forgiven for a horrible decision she made that I just can't wrap my head around.

› Enjoyment: 7
The experimenting on children/teens premise made me feel really yucky. I'm not sure how I feel about how the topic of suicide is dealt with.

Average 6.4

1.1-2.2 = ★
2.3-4.5 = ★★
4.6-6.9 = ★★★
7-8.9 = ★★★★
9-10 = ★★★★★

My Rating ★★★

› Final Thoughts
• Remember Me is a dark, quirky story about grief, trauma, mental health and Amor Fati - "translated from Latin as ‘a love of one’s fate’, or as we might put it, a resolute, enthusiastic acceptance of everything that has happened in one’s life".

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the complimentary copy in exchange for my honest review.

A teen in the near future wakes up to discover that her life seems off kilter. As she tries to retrace her steps to the moment everything changed, she finds herself confronting hard truths. Author Estelle Laure’s latest YA novel features a plot that’s slightly out of breath but contains writing that sparkles in Remember Me.

It’s 2031 and the day before Blue Owens’s birthday. She should feel excited; she should be looking forward to celebrating with her best friends, Turtle and Jack. But Blue wakes up with the weirdest sensation that something is not right.

Her body is giving her weird messages, for one thing. Then she finds an unsigned note and a photo in her closet. The note tells her to meet someone on a little blue bus the next morning. What blue bus? As long as Blue has lived in Owl Nook, New Mexico—and that’s pretty much her whole life—she’s never seen a blue bus in their small town.

She could just ignore the note, write it off as a prank, except it doesn’t seem like the kind of prank anyone she knows would pull. She only has Turtle and Jack; no other friends. She lives with her grandmother who she calls Gran. Her mom is dead; her dad lives in Florida. Who would do something like this? And why doesn’t she recognize anyone but herself in the photo with the note?

Against her better judgment, Blue makes her way to the bus the next day and meets Adam Mendoza. Her eyes tell her she’s never met Adam before; her heart tells her they were once something important. Eventually she gets Adam to tell her what happened. The two of them used to date, but after an Incident—with a capital I—Blue decided to undergo a procedure to have Adam removed from her memories.

She should be content with the answer, but she’s not. Clearly she and Adam meant something to one another at some point. They have a history, and Blue senses, even if she can’t remember, that they were happy for the most part. So why would she go through with this drastic step?

She finds her way back to the clinic where it all started and demands to get her memories back. There she fights for what she believes is rightfully hers: access to the pain of her life. The adults in charge warn her that she won’t like what she finds out, but Blue doesn’t care. She wants to know what she’s lost and reclaim it.

Author Estelle Laure jumps right into the action, starting the book on the day before Blue’s birthday when she discovers the note. While writers are often advised to start their stories with an inciting incident, readers might get the sense that they’ve missed something important with the opening chapters of the book. They meet Blue when she’s trying to make sense of the note, the photo, and why her backpack contains several bottles of orange juice. The plot doesn’t give readers much to know who Blue is and what she’s about, giving an abrupt introduction to the main character.

The book feels like it’s hurtling toward Blue’s birthday, getting her through her first meeting with Adam and back to the clinic in a hurry. Once she demands to get her memories back, the pace slows down. Laure takes her time to offer readers Blue’s history and the events leading up to her decision to have her memories removed. Some readers might feel like they’re being rushed to this point to get to the “main event.” They may not get enough time with Blue before her birthday in order to fully sympathize with her after she discovers what she’s lost.

Lines skip ahead in the story, assuming readers will catch up, which might disorient them a little bit. Also, Blue’s mentions early in the book about wanting love feel forced. The meeting with Adam at times seems a little manufactured rather than an organic progression of the story.

Nevertheless, Laure’s descriptions are bright and innovative, and the book’s plot falls squarely within the genre for her target market. YA readers sensitive to discussions about sex and sexuality might not want to pick this one up.

Remember Me is a futuristic YA contemporary about how far one will go to forget, and then to remember. One day in 2032, Blue wakes up feeling... off. Her friends and family are acting weird, she's having glitches in her memory, and she found this weird note in her room giving a date and time to meet somewhere with... someone. Blue feels sick and as she goes about her days she feels weirder and weirder, until she gets on the bus listed on the note and meets him. Again.

The main premise in this book is that you can "Release" memories of events, people, etc. It's meant to take away pain and make life easier for hose who have suffered trauma or just need to forget something. Blue chooses to undergo the Release of her boyfriend, Adam, but then immediately wants to go and figure out what it is she felt needed to be erased. A lot of the book is flashbacks to Blue's like 2 years ago to present to detail exactly what she had erased. I had a hard time with this book because I feel like the ordering of the timelines was really wonky. So little of the book is Blue in the "after", the majority of it is the "before", which feels backwards to me. It was hard to stay engaged.

I also finished with a lot of questions regarding some of the events that went on in the book that weren't answered. I won't list them because that would be spoiler-y but I don't generally enjoy leaving a world with several unanswered questions. I did like the concept and memory removal in the future - it felt very Black Mirror meets YA contemporary. It brings up an important conversation on mental health, depression, grief, trauma, and how to handle loved ones in this situation. There are many trigger warnings, so please read with caution.

**Thank you to Wednesday Books and Netgalley for an early copy in exchange for an honest review**

This was my first book by Estelle Laure and it won’t be my last. I love books that take us out of our comfort zone and books that challenge us with an interesting premise. This beautifully written book did both. Prepare to be moved.

A mesmerizing and wholly original coming of age story based on one girls journey to find her forgotten memories and piece back together a life lost through tragedy. A futuristic romance that dives deep into the importance of experiencing every emotion and the choice to find hope in the suffering. Moving and surprisingly captivating, a book I won’t soon forget.

Blue Owens finds a note telling her to meet someone on the blue bus on her birthday, so she takes a chance and decides to take a ride. What starts out as a mysterious journey, leads Blue down a rabbit hole of missing memories and gaps in her life. Blue wants to discover why she can’t remember anything and will stop at nothing to find out why her life isn’t making any sense and how she can get her memories back.

This book reminds me a lot of “If I Stay” by Gayle Forman. It captures the essence of the human experience and how, even with life’s tragedies, there is beauty in the pain. An emotional journey that held my attention and never let go, leaving me thoughtful and thankful for every moment of my life, the ugly parts included. I truly enjoyed the experience of this visceral and compelling YA novel. Completely compelling!

This book touched on the profound effect grief can have on a person and how overwhelming it can be. Blue's confusion in the beginning is mirrored through the not quite developed text, and then builds as she remembers things. While this was an effective parallel to build her memory, it was also frustrating to read at times and I found myself wanting to put the book down. A good idea that could've used some stronger development.

DNF’d at 18%

I wanted to love this one but it just didn’t hook me like I’d hoped. I just couldn’t hold the motivation to read it and then I went a week without picking it up and I didn’t remember anything, so I decided to just try to casually read it and went another couple weeks and just couldn’t pick it back up…

BUT none of this is to say that is was a bad book because it wasn’t by any means! I was so intrigued by the premise and the writing was wonderful… it just wasn’t for me. Who knows, maybe I’m just slumping and that’s what ruined it for me, or maybe it was just the right book at the wrong time but I have to leave it for now. I really hope others enjoy it though!

Happy Pub Day to Remember Me by @estellelaurewrites!

I have loved Estelle Laure since I read her debut novel years ago, This Raging Light. She is just a beautiful writer.

The descriptions of Remember Me describe it as part YA mystery, part sci-fi story, but I think it’s mostly a love story. Not just romantic love, but all of them. It’s about the way we love our families and how they can’t always love us back the way we need them to, the way we love our friends, and, yes, it’s also about the way we fall in love.

Blue Owens wakes up one day feeling strange, like something is missing. The people around her are also acting strange and she finds a note in her pocket in handwriting she doesn’t recognize telling her to get on the Little Blue Bus at 7:45. When she does, she meets someone she doesn’t recognize, but someone she’s sure she knows. Or should know. That’s all I’ll say in terms of a synopsis because I don’t think you want to know too much going in, although most descriptions I’ve read give away a little more.

I’ve already mentioned that the writing in this one is gorgeous, weaving memory and grief into a beautiful tapestry of words. The subject matter is hard. Blue is grappling with a lot and the ending might come a little too quickly. For a book about things that don’t have any easy answers, some of the ending felt a bit too neatly tied up. But I’m torn on this because I really wanted things to work out. I’d definitely recommend this one for the beautiful prose and original concept.

That said, the book reminded me a lot of one I read years ago, Everyone We’ve Been, and it definitely has some similar elements to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you’re a fan of that movie, I definitely think you’d enjoy Remember Me.

Thank you so much to @WednesdayBooks and @Netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

I received an e-copy of this story for my honest review.
It’s amazing the turmoil that grief can put people through, no matter their age. The heart-rending, soul-ripping, mind bending, “I don’t want to be here, or feel anything, anymore” anguish are things that can tear some people apart. But, there are those whom, after trying to forget everything, actually push through that anguish, and become better people. This is the journey our female MC must go through. There are moments when she questions herself. Then, she wants to know. In the end it is her decision alone to decide if she wants to know all, or remain in the dark.

In Remember Me, memories can be removed or erased by undergoing a procedure that Blue has done. She wakes up thinking it’s a normal day but finds a note telling her to get on a Little Blue Bus on her birthday. This starts Blue on a journey as she pieces together the memories that she erased.

The impact of this book didn’t really hit me towards the end, and that’s when I noticed a shift in Laure’s writing. It becomes more passionate, and I felt it flow beautifully off the page. The description of Blue’s grief and working through her emotions was executed well. I really got the impact of Blue’s grief.

I did enjoy this novel, it is all about your emotions - pain, love, grief, friendship and it does end on a positive note. There was something really beautiful about how at the core of this book it’s about grief. There was no profound moment for me, I found it hard to connect to Blue.

Have you seen The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a 2004 sci-fi romcom with Jim Carrie (one of his best roles ever), Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Elija Wood? If you haven't, I highly recommend you do- the cast is stellar and the story is one of the romantic ones I've ever seen in my life.
So it's no wonder I jumped at the chance to read Remember Me, the new YA novel from Estelle Laurie, and I just loved it. It had the sweetness of young love and passion which knows no boundaries, the bitterness of learning that some things cannot be undone no matter what, the sadness of the heartbreak and the awesomeness of a very clever book.
The protagonist of Remember Me Blue Owens wakes up one day and find that everything around you feels a bit off and everyone is behaving strangely. She finds a note asking her to get on a bus where she meets Adam. It is clear from other people's reactions they have history, but what is it and why can't she remember any part of it?
Blue finds out she underwent a special procedure designed to remove her painful memories. Gradually she manages to discover what happened and piece back together her fuzzy and fragmented world. This is obviously a concept-driven book (Would you erase your painful memories or are they and what we learnt from them an integral part of what we are?), but there is also an emotional punch. Make sure you check out the list of content warnings as some of the topics discussed in this book can be triggering.
The characters are flawed as all humans are and quirky, which makes it all even more engaging. Thought-provoking and touching, the book is well-written and is definitely worth reading. Can't wait to read more from Estelle Laure!

What's it about (in a nutshell):
Remember Me by Estelle Laure is an in-depth exploration of the consequences of being able to forget about those things that cause us pain – big and small.

What I Enjoyed:
What I enjoyed most about Remember Me was the intriguing messages at the end of the story. The main one is," what would we be without our pain?" The story answers that question through a few characters dotted within the story. Their reasons were different, but the outcome was the same. Grief and depression are essential to forming the people we are and have relevance ultimately toward love and life. Other questions also come up, and I think they would be great to explore in book clubs and other discussion opportunities.

I also liked that the big twist made the whole story make sense, even though it was the wrong way to go. I honestly didn't see it coming, but I loved that it made the entire story come together and make perfect sense. That also helped me to be able to empathize with all the characters, as I then understood what they were reacting to, whereas before the twist, their reactions seemed totally out of proportion for the situation.

The story is a fascinating exploration into the effectiveness of erasing those things in our life that cause us pain. It brings up such thought-provoking situations and scenarios that create the base for exploring more and contemplating the ramifications of the role of grief and depression in each of our lives. I always enjoy a story that makes me think even if I don't want to do so.

The 1st-person narration is just right for this story because that narration style made it an intensely personal narrative. I don't think it would have been nearly as effective if written in 3rd-person, putting distance between the reader and the story. As told by her, Blue's story is compelling, frightening, heart-wrenching, and understandable.

Characters:
Blue is an 11th grader who decided to have some of her memories erased. Learning her story is the story.

Gran (Gina Bellini) is Blue's guardian, and her concern for her granddaughter always rings true and paramount.

Alex is a guy that Blue meets on the bus early in the story.

Turtle is Blue's best friend. Her real name is Tatiana Tuttle, but everyone calls her Turtle. She loves musical theater and skipped a grade, so she is now a senior on her way to college the following year.

Jack is Turtle's partner who identifies as non-binary and goes by the pronouns they/them.

What I Wish:
From a counseling perspective, there are so many issues concerning experimenting on teens and the procedure itself for dealing with grief, depression, suicide, etc. This story is fiction and based on a science fiction concept, so I tried to put my feelings as a counselor aside, but it still caused me a bit of concern, especially when I thought about teens reading it. It definitely can trigger people in terms of death and suicide, and the ethical questions should be discussed with any teens who read the story.

To Read or Not to Read:
If you are looking for a thought-provoking reflection of the role of pain in our lives, Remember Me is just the story you should pick up.

Something was missing. In this case it was Blue's memory, but also a bigger part of her story. I originally wanted to read this book because it reminded me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and sure there were elements, but this was truly Blue's story through and through. I thought this book would be more of a romance, but instead it just left me a bit lost. I was entertained, I read this book without barely any stops, but something felt like it was missing. I kept looking at the percent I had read while feeling confused, wondering how I had a majority of the book left and yet only 2 chapters remaining. I kept waiting for something, I didn't know what, but something a bit more. There was so much buildup to Blue remembering that it felt anticlimactic. I think I was expecting a tragically doomed romance, but was met with a story about overcoming all-consuming grief. I think if I had known that a little earlier I could've adjusted my expectations and would've liked this book a lot more. Sadly, I thought it was going to be a romantic book for so long that by the time all was revealed, I didn't really care about Adam almost at all. It's a good book, but the reason I picked it up wasn't at all the reason I finished it and I don't know if that was the intention.

There was nothing terribly original happening here. The story was told in a touching way and handled as a teen spotless mind kind of thing. The characters are are easy to identify with and to care about. Young readers may find this to be an original story that is easy to access.

Thank you to NetGalley and Wednesday Books for the ARC of Remember Me in exchange for an honest review.

The underlying question throughout this book: if you could choose to undergo a procedure to completely erase certain bad memories (and all associated memories, including relationships), would you? As the story begins, Blue Owens wakes up with a sense of various inexplicable gaps—missing assignments at school, people who seem familiar, a feeling that her friends are hiding something. This nagging sense goes on for a while…long enough to give me the sense that I’d read a similar book a year ago. (Adam Silvera’s “More Happy Than Not” has a similar premise.) There are hints that memory erasure exists, and sure enough, we learn that she did pay to have memories removed—but not why.

And that is where the story really gets interesting! I was a bit boggled--up to this point, the chapters were very short. I’m the type of reader who prefers many short chapters to a few long chapters. Suddenly a long chapter loomed…and for me, that chapter made the whole book worth reading.

So—having chosen to remove memories, what was the outcome for Blue? And what would you choose? A lot to think about here, but I can’t think of more to say without spoilers!

One content warning: there is a bit of teen sex. But there’s a lot more about family, and trauma (a secondary question: what type of situation would cause you to want to erase your own memory?), and mental health and relationships in general.