Not my Ruckus is a phenomenal book. It is a truly beautiful story comprised of not so beautiful pieces.

It is a story of love, grief, and resilience, and while parts of it are hard to read, it is so very worth it. It is a heavy story loaded, and I mean LOADED with triggers.

Triggers included but not limited to are homophobia, rape, abuse (child and domestic), racism, underage sex/drug/alcohol use, suicide, incest, ableism, forced abortion, nonconsensal drug use and quite a few others.

This book is definitely far from light-hearted and will resonate with you for years after you close its pages. You will laugh, and you will cry for and with its characters. There will be times when you will want to slam it shut or throw it across the room. There may come a time when it hurts so much that you want to close the cover and walk away for good. I Implore you to keep reading because there are very few books like 'Not my ruckus'.

At its very core,'Not my ruckus' is a love story. It is a messy and heartbreaking love story between two teenage girls. Their story will break your heart, but it just might mend it, too.

I read as well as listened to the audiobook. I think the narrator did a fantastic job, and I enjoyed all the accents she accomplished

As always, thank you to the publisher and netgalley for providing me a copy in exchange for an honest review

Thank you so much to NetGalley for sending me a copy of this book. I was very draw to this book, not only from the cover but the description. I was not disappointed! I would definitely recommend this book and the audiobook!

I am not sure what I was expecting with this book, but the emotional rollercoaster I took was not it. It is a difficult story to read due to the topics of the book. Clare's character was clearly written with so much love, thought, and complexity. Even at 14 years old, Clare is experiencing some incredibly difficult life events, such as love, murder, developmental disorder, and much more. While she is young, she has lived so much life. But the one thing about Clare is that she loves her friend. There is also her neighbor, Esther, whose story is intertwined with that of Clare's family.

This story is quite dark and the plot tends to spiral into deep teen angst, but not in the typical way. The complexities of the characters and how they all intertwine make for a book filled with lots of twists and turns.

***Audio ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley.co.uk in return for an honest review ***

Please note that there are a number of trigger warnings you should be aware of before reading the book, including but not limited to childhood abuse, mental and physical abuse, and violence.

This is a brilliant coming-of-age story about 14-year-old Clare growing up in Utah in a deeply religious household. Clare is not considered a "normal" girl because she is a tomboy, but she is also very sheltered, and hints are dropped throughout the book about Clare having autism and epilepsy. As a note, it is good to know that the author has been diagnosed with autism and epilepsy, so hopefully this is a considered representation of both.

When her best friend Esther kisses her and then there is a murder, suddenly things get even more complicated. Clare is such a resilient figure in this book, and I think that is the main theme: persevering and overcoming all that is thrown your way.

I have struggled to write this review for a while now, I didn’t end up finishing it because of how extreme it was. I knew barely nothing about it and that was a bad idea on my behalf, I should’ve done more research.

It was an extremely tough read for me. I rarely pick up books written by men about teenage girls. There is rarely a lived experience, especially when it comes to sapphic relationships & characters.

Many thanks to Netgalley and the publisher/author for providing me with an ALC in exchange for my honest review.

This book was exactly what I wanted it to be! I loved it. I will make sure to check out other books by this author. When I requested this I was just intrigued by the concept of it and I loved how it turned out. This story had a great plot and if you have read this and enjoyed it, This was so much. It was such a great story. I would say give this one a try. I will continue to follow this author. Way to go to this author for not letting me down.

I highly enjoyed the narrator of the audiobook. Kept me listening.

First off, many thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! And even better than a normal ARC, it came in audiobook form!

Clare was an interesting main character, but I don't necessarily mean that in a good way. Her emotional strength is impressive, perhaps too impressive for a young teenager, and while I enjoyed reading an autistic character, her narration was... Odd. Terrible things happen, and she sees them as normal. She was very off-putting, I think is the best way to describe her.

The whole story is very off-putting. Let's just say it wasn't for me. These sorts of stories with adult characters are fine, but with children? No, thanks.

I give Not My Ruckus three stars.

Unfortunately this wasn't the book for me. I can see it being fabulous for other groups of readers! I enjoyed the narrator's voice and what this added to the story.

First I want to thank the author for giving me an advanced copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange of my honest review.

About the book, the plot it is really interesting but being honet I was getting bored by it, it needed something better, that keep everyone alert until the end..

This is not an easy story to review! It is a very heavy and dark read, full of trigger and content warnings, that were at a point too much for me. However, while I could feel for the characters and all the horrible situations they go through, I wish I had connected more emotionally. There were good moments with the writing, but the storytelling and dialogue was a bit disjointed at times. As for the audiobook, the narration was average, it was not my favourite, it was a bit flat and too soft spoken for me, but it wasn't bad and the narrator differentiated well enough the voices of all the characters. The audio quality was overall good. This book was a strange experience for me... I cannot recommend to everyone because of so many of the heavy and dark themes, but if you're looking for a more emotionally challenging read, with a neurodivergent main character and focused on (very messed up) human relationships, it is worth the read!

I’m going to be honest. I don’t like yo say I don’t liked a book. But this one was not for me.
Maybe it’s kind of entertaining but for another persons can be awesome.

Oh, this book! This book! It will keep you guessing until the very end! Unfortunately, there are so many content and trigger warnings that I'm not sure I am going to be comfortable recommending it to anyone I don't know very well. Though I did appreciate the way we unfolded all the layers of the story. It was certainly engaging. But "troubled childhood" doesn't even come close to describing this book.

This deeply heavy, emotional and rather dark novel would have been so incredibly difficult to continue had it not been written really well. I don't recommend this if you're in a dark place, and there are so many triggers within, rape, rape of minors, domestic abuse, familial abuse, teen pregnancy, and many more.

Despite all of that, as a book I did find it really hard to put down. I was compelled to continue in the hope that the girls in this book manage to escape their lives. Brutal, heartbreaking, the absolute opposite of a comfort read. Prepare with tissues.

I think I would have struggled to read this properly with a physical copy. I listened to the audio and it was really relaxing and calming, juxtaposed against the horrific storytelling it was almost soothing. Which is totally bizarre I know.

Thanks to NetGalley, Cinnabar Moth Publishing LLC and Chad Musick for an eArc of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

I feel I should begin by mentioning that this book certainly isn't for everyone. I would caution very young readers against reading it, as well as readers who are sensitive graphic descriptions of topics such as murder, incest, prostitution, violence, homophobia et.c.
Despite the heavy subject matter of the novel, however, I found the book to be an enjoyable one, perhaps especially due to the format – Ivy Tara Blair, who narrates the audiobook, does so in the local accents depicted within the novel. The characters felt real in an imperfect way, despite being described by a young and possibly unreliable narrator, and the unravelling of the mystery and characters at the end of the novel, while not entirely earth-shattering, was definitely eerie and revolting in the best way imaginable. I especially enjoyed how the love story was simultaneously understated, yet wholly central to the story, and the way in which Esther and Clare were able to hold on to one another and continue to love one another despite all of the horrendous events and revelations.

Some notes on the narration: As previously mentioned, the accents of the characters were enjoyable and served to make it easier to distinguish one character from another, but some of the character voices (the parents, in particular) didn't sound entirely authentic, and Blair's usually pleasant cadence felt jarring in these moments. From a technical standpoint, there was also some unusually loud breathing noticeable in chapter 8, but the recording was otherwise of a good quality and pleasant to listen to at any speed.

DNF at 20% (only gave it a rating because it's needed to submit the review)

I honestly think I started this book at the wrong time for me, I found myself spacing out whilst listening to the audiobook most of the time so I didn't really know what was going on. I do, however, plan on giving it another shot at some point in the future.

I had no idea what I was in for with this book! There are a lot of trigger/content warnings. I won’t list them here because some of them of spoilers but the author includes them in the book so if you have certain triggers (especially surrounding abuse), check them out first.

This is not a fluffy read. It got more and more heartbreaking with each new secret revealed, but it was also beautiful and you can’t help but love and cry for the girls the story centers on. I started listening to the audio version and then switched to the ebook because I was so into it I couldn’t put it down. I finished it in a day. My only complaint is that it ended very abruptly. I’m sure that was on purpose but instead of it feeling like the author wants you to fill in your own ending, it just felt a little unfinished. This was a dark but poignant story that according to the author was inspired by real events, which makes it all the more tragic. It’s not the kind of book I’d re-read but the love between the girls and their strength and courage that they never should have needed was absolutely beautiful.

Thank you NetGalley, author and publisher for the arc in exchange for an honest review.

I honestly don't even know where to start with reviewing this book. It's been a few days since i've finished reading it and i've been sitting on my thoughts since, trying to digest everything and come up with a somewhat understandable review so here it goes;
First let's talk about the writing. I think the writing style was my favourite thing about this book. The author is obviously someone who has been writing for a long time and they put a lot of emotions into their written words.
The story on the other hand is quite difficult to review if I am being completely honest.
I think Not my Ruckus is the kind of book you either love with your entire being or you completely hate it. I definitely know im on the love it side of things but i also know i didn't completely fall in love with the story. I did enjoy my time reading it but for no particular reason other than my own personal enjoyment, i did not think this was anything that would figure on my top of the year and thats completely fine.
Overall, i think this book sits in between a 3.5 and a 4 stars.
Thank you NetGalley fro the audio ARC

This was a tragic and beautiful read. This was painful to read but I LOVED it.

This book has:
1)BEAUTIFUL WRITING, I gasped A LOT OF TIMES from the QUALITY of the writing
2)Great pacing, you never feel bored while reading this (it was slow at the moments that it needed to be)
3)the conflict between the characters was just perfection the relationships of the characters were just so good
4)In general the characters were written really goog

The only negative that I have with this book is that it felt at times like trauma porn.

Talk about an emotional roller coaster! This novel is more than just coming of age amidst tragedy, it is about tragedy — it is about those that wield power over others so greatly that even those who were supposed to good are corrupted from the outside in. It is about the powerless, the weak, and about the absence of fear for yourself and instead the fear for others that makes you brave.

My heart aches after this novel—because regardless of the ending; the scars inflicted are lasting. Claire, is coming into puberty. She is confined and restricted in her growth by her overtly religious mother and her well-to-do father. We see traces of abuse stemming around her life, and yet, she is still herself. Claire believes she knows right from wrong and learning exactly what love really is, sets herself on a path to protect what she loves most, even if it means hurting herself in the process.

I don’t want to spoil anything by droning on, so I will say this: read it for yourself. My reading experience was by audiobook and the narrator was incredible in the way she told us Claire’s story. Highly recommend.

Thank you to Netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. Just couldn't get into this one, and I can't place why. Not all books are meant for all people I suppose and with the right audience I think this would really resonate. I especially find that with audiobooks, I wouldn't be opposed to reading the paperback to see if that made a difference.