What defines a “good” mother and who gets to decide? In her debut novel, The School for Good Mothers, Jessamine Chan grapples with the endless ways America attempts to control its mothers and the terror and powerlessness of forced separation.

At the center of the story is Frida, a thirty-nine-year-old single mom whose one “very bad day” lands her in a twelve-month reeducation program for bad mothers. Depending on how she performs, Frida could get her daughter back. Or she could never see her again.

It all starts with an ear infection: neither Frida nor eighteen-month-old Harriet have slept in days. Frida is behind on work and needs to fetch some papers at the office. She kisses her beloved Harriet and sets her gently into the ExerSaucer, where she’ll be safe. But once at her desk, Frida loses track of time answering emails. Two hours later, on the way home, a phone call from the police: “We have your daughter.” So begins Frida’s horror story, and with it, Chan’s careful excavation of our culture’s outrageous-impossible-contradictory expectations for motherhood. Here’s where Chan’s superpowers of social observation are at their most powerful.

There is (a) an ex-husband, Gust, a sexy architect and pretty good dad who remains supportive of Frida, even after leaving her for, (b) his new, younger wife, Susanna, a gorgeous clean-living advocate and Instagrammer who is, (c) also great with Harriet and would love to be friends with Frida. All of which really pisses Frida off.

Enter a distracted social worker, supervised visitation, and a court hearing that is the stuff of nightmares. Dystopia takes off when Frida arrives at the experimental reeducation school with a cohort of mothers of various ages and races, set on a defunct college campus upstate. “In order to get Harriet back, Frida must learn to be a better mother. She must demonstrate her capacity for genuine maternal feeling and attachment, hone her maternal instincts, show she can be trusted. Next November, the state will decide if she’s made sufficient progress. If she hasn’t, her parental rights will be terminated.”

While in concept, this novel is vaguely reminiscent of Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, The School separates itself with its sickening familiarity. Atwood has said the horrors of Gilead were drawn from the true history of humanity, somewhere far away from modern life in North America. The School exists in that subtle gray area that lives next door, in our schools, and in our own friend circles. Chastising Frida after her weekly ten-minute call with her daughter, a counselor advises, “Your daughter is changing … it’s a bittersweet experience for all parents. You need to accept it …. How much do you really know about her life right now?” Then, “Remember, ladies, this is a safe space.” There are no red robes and white bonnets here to signal society has gone off the rails; rather, this microculture is truly all-American.

Once institutionalized, each mother is assigned a robot doll.

There’s a camera inside each doll … the dolls will collect data. They’ll gauge the mothers’ love. The mothers’ heart rates will be monitored to judge anger. Their blinking patterns and expressions will be monitored to detect stress, fear, ingratitude, deception, boredom, ambivalence … whether her happiness mirrors her doll’s. The doll will record where the mother’s hands are placed, will detect tension in her body, her temperature and posture, how often she makes eye contact, the quality and authenticity of her emotions.

Lessons range from “motherese” to physical affection.

At the school, motherhood is a simple exercise in performance.

‘Your voice should be as light and lovely as a cloud,’ Ms. Russo says.

‘What does a cloud sound like?’ Beth asks, looking up at Ms. Russo through a curtain of glossy hair.

‘Like a mother.’

‘But that makes no sense.’

‘Mothering isn’t about sense, Beth. It’s about feeling.’ Ms. Russo pats her heart.

Much like parenthood itself, the school term is long and tedious, with failures emphasized, successes taken for granted. “Your instructors have told me that your hugs lack warmth. They said, I quote, ‘Frida’s kisses lack a fiery core of maternal love.’” A counselor sets unnatural goals. “By next week, at least five successful hug sequences. More efficient articulation of shortcomings. Fewer shortcomings …. A higher pitch. Higher daily word count. Frida needs to relax …. Data collected from the doll has suggested substantial amounts of anger and ingratitude.”

Correct mothering is, of course, a ridiculous concept, and yet our society insists on judging mothers, for we are such easy targets, with our persistence in devotion, tendency toward self-reflection, and willingness to course correct. Just when you are getting the hang of things, your beloved six-year-old wakes up seven or eight or nine, and you begin again. The job requires an endless well of passion and generosity and commitment. Labels like “good” and “bad” are paltry next to the scope of the task.

And Chan’s keen social insights aren’t limited to motherhood. She’s concerned also with the ruthless realities of race and gender in America, as we see in Frida’s interior thoughts at her trial. “[T]he judge probably won’t see Frida as a person of color. She isn’t Black or brown. She’s not Vietnamese or Cambodian. She’s not poor. Most of the judges are white, and white judges tend to give white mothers the benefit of the doubt, and Frida is pale enough.”

Did I mention there’s a school for dads next door? Surprise: the expectations for good dads are different.

Chan gets so much right in this story, but as a single mom, I want to point out what she gets most right: when you are a parent without the sanctuary of traditional marriage and family, you know you are vulnerable. Once the law is involved in a family, anything could happen. A mother who has had to rebuild her life never relaxes. The School is fine with this. “A mother is the buffer between her child and the cruel world. Absorb it, the instructors say. Take it. Take it.”

My own mom used to tell me her greatest fear after she and my dad divorced was that he would remarry, and we children would go waltzing off with him and his new wife and forget all about her. This made no sense for many reasons: I was an adult when they divorced; she’s my —mom—we had a whole history. Not to mention, my dad never remarried, and he rarely waltzes. But cultural programming tells us women are supposed to be coupled, and it’s their fault if things fail, and if indeed they fail, maybe they don’t deserve to be loved. It was my mother’s own imagination that terrorized her.

Chan gets this. In The School for Good Mothers, she takes the messy pile of internalized misogyny mothers live under and externalizes it, turning it against a newly single mom who has everything going for her—she’s smart, educated, and she has a good job and a supportive family. If something like this could happen to Frida, what does that mean for the rest of us?

Phew, I wish I read more of the triggers for this book. I struggle between enjoying the prose of the book, knowing it’s fictional dystopia, and finishing it (mainly bc of my own littles). The MC is imprisoned to a 1-year reform program for “bad” mothers. As a mom, being constantly judged & standards that individuals place on you as a mom. Either way, it’s a good book for book club, there’s a lot that can be discussed.

Thanks to NetGalley for an ARC.

This is by far one of my favorite books of the year. I felt the whole realm of emotion while reading this book.

I think that the main character in this book was so well crafted. I don't agree with what she did at the beginning of the book but as a mom of three small children, the stress that she was under was so relatable.
Chan did an amazing job of making this book really speak to the true nature of a mother and the struggles that we all have and I think that is why I connected to this book so much. Not to mention the representation of different kinds of mothers was so well done.
I think that the school itself was such an eerie setting and it felt like something that could really happen in the future.
If you are looking for a dystopian future book this is one I would highly recommend.

Thank you to Netgalley, Simon & Schuster, and JEssamine Chan for an ARC of The School for Good Mothers in exchange for an honest review. First off, what an interesting premise for a book! I have never read anything like this and it was definitely unique and thought provoking. I got frustrated throughout the book as I cheered on Freida because I felt like she was held to an unrealistic standard. I didnt realize how invested I was in the story until Immanuel went to the closet and I was feeling so many emotions. This is a breath of fresh air in terms of literary fiction. 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 for GR.

Wow, what can I say about The School for Good Mothers? I was waiting for this book to come out. This is such a weird, interesting look at society, the relationship between mothers and children, and government power all wrapped in up a gross social horror bow.

The plot of this story is incredibly dystopian, like an updated 1984. In the novel, a mother (Frida) leaves her young daughter at home temporarily and is whisked away to a facility for a year to learn how to become a better mother.

I found the pacing of this book almost excruciating. There were slow moments I thought would never end, then suddenly a whole month had passed. I couldn’t get a grasp on the timeline, and that was one of the worst parts of the entire book. At many points, everything felt very underwhelming - I was just waiting for something to happen.

Other parts of the story were absolutely horrifying in a subtle, creepy way. There were never jump scares or in-your-face blood, guts, and gore, but the story was haunting and thought-provoking. I think it will stick with me for a long time.

There was a lot of ethnic representation throughout the book, which I really liked. The representation didn’t feel forced or stereotypical, as it does in a lot of fictional works. There were conversations about race and how it impacted the mothers’s stays at the facility, how they ended up there, future plans, etc, but otherwise, it felt like most of the characters could’ve been any race. So that was handled really eloquently.

The plot felt like an intensive social experiment, and while I’ve read up on several real experiments that have taken place throughout history, I’ve noticed those are typically conducted on male subjects. I could definitely see this adapted into a mini series (I’m looking at you, Reese Witherspoon), and it would be an updated take on previous films with similar male-focused counterparts.

TL;DR: Part The Handmaid’s Tale, part Orange is The New Black, part Black Mirror, The School for Good Mothers is a skillful, necessary, and deeply uncomfortable read that offers incisive commentary on gender; race; state and social surveillance; and the toxic culture of intensive mothering. My rating 5 of 5 stars.

"Loneliness is a form of narcissism. A mother who is in harmony with her child, who understands her place in her child's life and her role in society, is never lonely. Through caring for her child, all her needs are fulfilled."

Is The School for Good Mothers an excellent, important book that I think everyone should read? Yes. Did I *enjoy* reading it? I’m honestly not sure. It was hard and challenging and uncomfortable. But art and ideas of consequence often are.

After reading this book some months back, I immediately rushed to read other readers’ reviews. I needed to see how others were receiving this complicated book. And I was gravely disappointed by many reviews condemning Frida for her big mistake. I felt like we hadn’t even read the same book or been introduced to the same woman, whom I found deeply, deeply relatable and sympathetic—in all her flaws and failings. Those comments demonstrated to me—even more than this book alone—just how toxic and ingrained our cultural ideas about all-sacrificing motherhood are. Due in part to the excesses of American individualism, Frida alone pays dearly for a mistake that she made within a situation, culture, and systems that set her up for failure.

Rant aside, there is also much to appreciate from a literary standpoint. Early on, this book reads as general fiction. It’s only later on that dystopian elements enter into the narrative—namely, the extreme surveillance apparatus directed at mothers labeled deviant and the creepy reform school where the delinquent moms are isolated from society and forced to care for doll replicas of their children. But honestly, it all feels very, very real. Anyone paying attention is aware of grave injustices and inequities in our current system of justice. As well as the ways in which governments, corporations, and individuals use technology to police one another’s actions. By just barely exaggerating reality, Chan has crafted a “dystopia” more terrifying than any I’ve read before.

Chan also makes readers *feel* Frida’s emotions. Her anger, her resentment, her jealousy, her regret, especially those directed at her ex-husband and his younger mistress-turned-wife-turned-step-mother-to-Frida’s-daughter. I imagine this book is also very relatable to mothers who’ve experienced the unrealistic, and often-times gaslight-y standards they are held to (e.g. “breast is best”). The books gets a bit slow in the telling of Frida’s day to day life at the school, but that also gives the narrative a lot of it’s power since the reader is able to feel the expanse of time Frida is enduring separated from her daughter, Harriet, and isolated from society at large.

Many thanks to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was very mediocre for me. I was very intrigued by the premise, but it got bogged down with the minutiae of daily life at the school. Also, while I know the author was trying to make a point about how ridiculous the things that happen in the novel are, there wasn't enough exploration of this.

One of the best dystopian novels I've read in a while. This one will stick with me for a long time. Especially relevant in our current moment. Rec for fans of Handmaid's Tale.

The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan presents a very unique and thought provoking plot that revolves around mothers and fathers who have their children taken away from them due to neglect. The mothers are sent to a training school where they are forced to experience various scenarios that are set up to improve their parenting skills. The school is set up in a way that is similar to a prison. The discipline is severe and the mothers are forced to wear uniforms. As the story progresses the woman are given dolls that simulate real life children. The mothers are to practice their parenting skills using these dolls. The reader of the novel will be forced to really think about what makes a good mother and how can mothering skills be improved over time. The School for Good Mothers is interesting and very thought provoking.

As I finish this book, I honestly feel like I’m about to hurl. The beginning of the book I enjoyed and at first the dystopian school for what CPS considers bad mothers was one of amusement.
However, it became so repetitive and the continuous negativity took its toll on me. The government puts women who aren’t even actual mothers to determine how a perfect mother acts and behaves. They are given no exceptions and your motherhood will be taken away from anyone who isn’t “perfect”.

As a mother of two very unique children, parenting them as a single mom is hard and I’m sure most people would agree to this. Having two children, I can’t have a one size fits all parenting style, in fact my parenting for each child is completely different.

We have so much judgment in this society and don’t tell me you haven’t ever been annoyed by a screaming child in a restaurant or while shopping and think why is that Mom not doing anything?? Nobody is perfect and all Moms make mistakes and should be able to parent their own way when they have the best intentions for their child.

There was real opportunity for this to be so much more, if only it brought more emotions and a build on relationships. I was secretly wishing the stepmom would have been sent to the school also lol.

I tried twice to make it through this book, but wasn't successful either time. For me, I think the issue was the title's bleakness. I'm quite willing to read books that narrate difficult, unhappy events, but there was nothing in the narrative or characters to counterbalance the bleakness.

Perfection. An all too realistic commentary on motherhood, written with a sharp, witty edge. This book stayed with me for a long time.

The School for Good Mothers is a thought provoking and at times difficult to read dystopian story about motherhood set in the not distant future. Frida, an overwhelmed mother of a toddler (who's now ex-husband fell in love with a younger woman), has a very bad day and prior to the changes from CPS and the government, she would have been given some counseling, supervised visits and fines. CPS installs cameras in her entire house, she's under constant surveillance and her social worker is clearly not on her side. Now, in order to preserve her parental rights, she is sent to an experimental school for bad mothers (I'm a bad mother but I’m learning to be good) for one year. During this tumultuous year a human experiment unlike any others is conducted. This part of the book was frustrating/maddening at what the mothers are put through and is drawn out but draws the picture to the conclusion. Chan paints a horrific picture of the future and what defines a "good" mother from a "bad" mother. Overall this is tough book to read with the proactive subject matter and is well written.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest feedback.

THE SCHOOL FOR GOOD MOTHERS is chilling, fast paced, and absolutely compelling. This book was an easy 5 star read for me and one I'll recommend over and over again for years to come.

"The School for Good Mothers", by Jessamine Chan, is a timely novel considering current events in the United States. A dystopia where motherhood is highly regulated by the state doesn't sound much like fiction sadly, and of course, for many minority groups, it never has been fictional. As a mother of a young child, and an immigrant in America myself, I felt this book on a very personal level.

The plot follows a Chinese-American woman, Frida, raising her one year old daughter as a recently divorced single mother. One day, pushed by sleep depravation and general overwhelming, Frida commits a grave mistake, and leaves her daughter Harriet home alone for a few hours. What follows is Frida's fight against a whole system pinned against her, and a re-education course on how to be a "good mother", to try to get her daughter back.

This book was very infuriating to me, and, in many aspects, did not feel speculative at all. It's rooted in mothers' guilt, and the way mothers are judged and held at different standards than their male counterparts. It's also rooted in the way parenting from different cultures is often considered backwards and punished, in countries like the United States. Because of all that, the book feels just one close step away from reality.

While Frida, like any person, had faults, and made mistakes, I could not help but empathize with her despair and get really angry with what she was going through. The really scary part of this book is that this is the reality of many women, and it's easy to arrive in Frida's situation in a society where mothers are judged and blamed, instead of given support and resources.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the e-arc. "The School for Good Mothers" has been out since January 2022. All opinions are my own.

A solid premise for a book and it did not disappoint - until the very end.
Frida leaves her daughter in the car alone for 2 hours so she can get some things in the store. She is reported and has to attend "the school for good mothers" for an entire year. This harsh, dystopian school has created robot babies for the mothers to mind and learn how to care for according the rules set forth by the government. This includes repeating 'I am a bad mother, but I am learning to be good" as one of many negative mantras. At the end of the year, the judge will determine if the mother is fit for parenting again.
I found this book disturbing in it's accuracy to what so many of us fear is coming in our nation. The disparity between how the dads are treated at their school vs. the moms is not shocking. None of it is really, just sad.
I loved the ending, but was left a little uncertain and that did not set well with me.
Overall a solid read, dark, but timely.

I found this book to be very lacking in some fairly important parts. We are meant to feel sympathy for the main character and that she is being made to stay at this “school”. However, she is a terrible mum and doesn’t deserve sympathy. She needs more than a school! I also just found the blurb to be quite deceptive in that it originally appeared (when I first requested an ARC) as a standard literary fiction. After receiving it, however, and upon publication it is revealed that it’s actually dystopian. I am a huge fan of the former and absolutely detest the latter. Therefore, this was a huge disappointment to me.

A great example of a book that you finish reading a have no idea how to feel about it. I can't say that I liked it. I'm not sure that any one would be able to say that; it's not that kind of book. The New York Times review called it "frustratingly timely." Vogue had this to say:

“The School for Good Mothers picks up the mantle of writers like Margaret Atwood and Kazuo Ishiguro, with their skin-crawling themes of surveillance, control, and technology; but it also stands on its own as a remarkable, propulsive novel. At a moment when state control over women’s bodies (and autonomy) feels ever more chilling, the book feels horrifyingly unbelievable and eerily prescient all at once.”

It will also make you think about what goes through your mind every time you hear news about a parent like Frida. You know when you hear stories about parents doing what Frida did, you instantly label them as "bad parents." We have very little empathy for a parent who has become overwhelmed and done a bad thing, made a bad choice. "Why didn't they ask for help?" "They have no business having children if they don't know any better than that."

Then there are the kinds of things we so often say about our justice system. "Why do we just incarcerate people? Why don't we rehabilitate them, teach them how to do better?" That's just what happens to Frida - the state decides they will teach Frida how to be a better parent, a good mother. But it's coming from a place of thinking of all of the parents as inherently bad, essentially unredeemable even with training. And that there is only one "right" way to become better, to prove that you've been rehabilitated. Which is also a thing our justice system does. Which is the way all of us are prone to feeling, if we're being honest.

Here the state determines, after only one brief visit with Frida and her daughter, that her daughter should be taken away and that Frida should be committed, for a year, to a new rehabilitation program for parents. At the school, each parent will be given a robotic child, which vaguely resembles their own child, and taught how to properly care for children using the dolls. Except it's almost impossible to satisfy the instructors, especially given that the robot children don't react exactly the same way that real children would, that they aren't children who already know this person. The women are repeatedly told they are bad parents, regularly have their weekly calls to their real children withheld for weeks and months on end, and are held to standards none of us could meet. Here again, there are often lessons that seem, on the surface, to be well intentioned. But the way the lessons are taught, the insistence that success can only be measured in one way, that if you can't get your "child" to react in the way that the instructors have deemed "right," then you are a failure.

It's relentlessly frustrating and depressing and you find yourself feeling sorry for even the women who truly committed heinous crimes against their children when the other side is a state which seems bent on making the parents jump through hoops - while their on fire - ten feet off the ground - and six inches in diameter. There is no hope for these women.

And then they meet the fathers. Who are held to entirely different standards.

The School for Good Mothers is like nothing I've ever read before, nothing like what I was expecting. It was a struggle for me to read but also a book that has me thinking. About the way we judge parents, the standards we hold them to, and the lack of real help we offer them.

Haunting novel - a real page turner. A chilling story of how a horrible lapse in judgment can lead to horrific results. The school for correctional behavior was beyond the pale and shocked the imagination. And yet, the sanctimonious beliefs of those in power seems oh-too-real. The ending seemed somewhat abrupt and confusing - so I’ll definitely be thinking about it for quite some time.

I was really excited for this book but struggled to connect with the story or characters. Over all it was just ok.