The Everything I Have Lost is a novel that consists out of diary entries written by 12-year-old Julia. She writes about everything: her school friends, the things she is and isn't allowed to do, the waiting for her period to come, and mostly about her family.

When Julia's father gets a new mysterious job, things seem to get better for Julia and her family. They get a new car and a new house, but Julia's father is always away for longer periods of time and he seems to be getting grumpier after every trip. When he disappears, Julia's whole world is turned upside down. What happened to her dad?

I listened to the audiobook and I have to say that the narrator did an exquisite job. I finished it in one sitting and never got distracted. I felt like I was able to experience all the events together with Julia and really sympathize with her, despite the age difference. It's hard to narrate diary entries of a 12-year-old in a way that will keep listeners listening, but also makes them realize that Julia is just a kid.

That's also part of why this book stands out in my eyes. Sylvia Zeleny portrayed Julia in a way that shows both sides of her: the naive kid and the kid that grew up way too fast and has seen too much. She's the girl that wanted nothing more than a bike, but also had to take care of her little brother when her parents weren't there (which was more often than not).

The Everything I Have Lost is a coming-of-age story set in Juarez and El Paso. This is an incredibly important book that I feel like many people should read, because it shows that the environment children grow up in has a lot of influence on them. A great example of that is how hearing gunshots on the streets has become normal for Julia, even though that's something that should never be considered normal. As someone who works with children, I believe that this book has truly made an impression on me.

This is a hard book to review, and a hard book to recommend. It is raw and it is the truth.

The narrator is great! I would to hear more from her.

Thank you to NetGalley for a free copy of this audiobook. This book opened my eyes to the femicide in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. Told through the diary of twelve year old Julia, the author's writing so authentically captures the perspective of a person on the blurred edge between child and adult trying to understand the violence going on around her when adults refuse to really address it. She is naïve to how her father suddenly starts making more money, but feels the stress he carries home between his work trips as he gets in over his head. It is funny at parts, heartbreaking in others, and an important read. I highly recommend the audiobook -- the narrator was one of the best I have ever heard. She captures the emotions beautifully and I felt like Julia was telling me her story herself. The writing and narration combined to create an experience I felt completely immersed in. Highly recommend for 8th grade and up.

Thank you to NetGalley and OrangeSky Audio for the audio ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!

This book was a unique read. Written as a 12 year olds diary this book covers a lot of topics from perceptions of womanhood, crime, family, borders, danger to females, etc. I felt like most of these topics were covered as well as they could be since a 12 year old was telling the story. Though I felt these topics could have been covered better if our narrator Julia was around 15. At times she was extremely naive and constantly repetitive that I almost wanted to just sit the book down.

This one is written for middle grade and that’s where my review dropped a few stars. I felt this book was written for more young adult or adult readers. When I found out it was a middle grade I was honestly confused. I feel this book would make a bigger impact with its topics in a high school classroom or in a book clubs discussion.

Overall I felt it had some highs and lows. If the synopsis interests you I would definitely check it out! It is definitely an interesting read and I hate to rate it what I did.

Synopsis: 12-year-old Julia keeps a diary about her life growing up in Juarez, Mexico. Life in Juarez is strange. People say it's the murder capital of the world. Dad’s gone a lot. They can’t play outside because it isn’t safe. Drug cartels rule the streets. Cars and people disappear, leaving behind pet cats. Then Dad disappears and Julia and her brother go live with her aunt in El Paso. What’s happened to her Dad? Julia wonders. Is he going to disappear forever? A coming-of-age story set in today’s Juarez.

*received for free from netgalley for honest review* Wow okay the kissing cousins thing... wtf. but other wise, really great book, great to see books like this being published, would have loved to havw grown up with more Mexican MC's!

I never finish audiobooks in one sitting, even short ones, but I was so engrossed with this one I kept finding random things to do while I kept listening. This book made me want to do chores! So weird.

It seems some people were bothered by the diary format but for me, hearing about the complex experience of life on the border through a young girl’s most private thoughts was incredibly powerful. The story starts when she’s 11 and naive, kind of aware of the problems in her neighborhood, country and family, but only in a vague sense. She’s still concerned about all of the things young girls everywhere think about, but through friend, boy, and school drama we get glimpses of the trauma that Julia is becoming increasingly aware of as she gets older. I loved this book and would definitely recommend.

Thank you NetGalley, author and publisher for the arc in exchange for an honest review.

I read the Kirkus for this book, and they panned it for “lack of authentic voice.” I disagree. Julia’ entries in her diary reflect the self-absorption of a teenager as well as her concerns about family. The entries told from Julia’s point of view reflect the changes in her life, particularly after her father, who was a hitman for the Mafia, is in a Juarez, Mexico hospital in a coma and Julia and her brother are sent to live with her aunt in El Paso, Texas. Julia does a great job pointing the differences in American and Mexican schools including the fixation on clothing in America. I am a little concerned about the expletives used so freely, but then kids often speak to one another differently when with peers than they do when surrounded by adults. And in a world surrounded by violence as Julia’s is, language was the mildest of her problems. Lori Felipe-Barkin’s narration provided the perfect voice for Julia.

I really enjoyed this audiobook. I will admit that I was hoping it was going to go into a bit more detail than it actually did. However, given the diary format and the age of the protagonist, it makes since that it didn’t. As Julia was continually frustrated by, how much would the adults around her really tell a 13-year-old? That being said, it was nice to see an #ownvoices book about such a tough subject geared toward the younger end of the YA age range. I would absolutely recommend this book to a young teen for a look at what is going on in Mexico and how it can effect families living there.

Among the unique aspects of The Everything I Have Lost is the epistolary format, which I thought was done really well. You could see that Julia was aware of the world around her, she knew that Jurez was unsafe and getting worse but she was also a young teen with young teen concerns like boys and makeup and if she was too old to be playing the games she was playing with her brother. It was really interesting seeing Julia piece together information about her father and what it would mean for her family.

Overall I thought this was a really unique and wonderful book.

The Everything I Have Lost is a remarkable coming of age story. This was a heartbreaking and heartfelt account told in diary entries. I felt like the themes and plot in this may be too much for some younger readers but it would be a great book and conversation starter to read as parent and child.

I really enjoyed this book as a whole and the message in the end was poignant, moving and tear-jerking but also very inspiring. The audio was fantastic and very easy to listen to and I highly recommend listening to this one. Overall this is one of the most surprising middle grades I have ever read and it was definitely memorable and I can see myself recommending this one to many people and families.

Have you ever felt like your world was collapsing around you? Julia not only feels this is her truth she knows it is in a way you can only know when you are thirteen going on fourteen. She knows that her world is falling apart when her father's new job almost gets him killed, her best friend moves, away, and she has to cross the border to live with her Tia. She used to love spending time with her Tia and cousin in El Paso but now she is not so sure. Her brother Willie needs her to be strong and her Mom keeps saying its only for a little bit. Is she right her world is falling apart or is it just her tendancy to be a drama queent that makes things look so dark?

<i>The Everything I Have Lost</i> focuses on Julia and her life as she is growing up. She writes about her friends, drama, school and anything else a young girl might write about, but there are also signs of something more going on.

Starting at age 12, this book goes from there until Julia is 15, so there is quite a difference between ages and what is going on which really leaves this novel in a big limbo of not being middle-grade, but not quite being young adult which did pull me out of the book from time to time. I knew that coming in, but I think I’m realizing diary entries may not be something I like.

The diary entries while giving us a deeper look into Julia, but that also means readers are really diving into her mindset. Readers see how naive she is. They see her focus on growing up and the drama with her friends. A lot of it reminded me of <i>The Princess Diaries</i> in the sense of Julia being very focused on herself and so eager to grow up and everything is the end of the world. I get that at this age there are a lot of emotions and no one understands them, just as an older reader it’s frustrating to read.

There were a number of heavier topics that I do feel like are good introductions for younger readers, but at the same time they are glossed over due to the narration of the story.

I was excited to read this book as it was own voices and seemed like it was going to talk about a number of topics that I feel like should be talked about; however, I do feel like this book just missed the mark for me.

I’m hoping that the younger audience this is meant for finds more meaning in it than I did.

I didn't mind this audiobook. It was engaging enough and I do think it's something that would have good discussion points for classes but it's one I think I'd have taken more from as a physical book.

There was a lot of reiterating that when you get your period you are a woman and while I appreciate this can be a cultural thing, it didn't really feel like it was exploring that cultural aspect and more forcefully telling kids that once they have their period that's them an adult. It's also a very transphobic way to discuss this. If it were something our MC was telling themselves it could be forgiven as they are about 13 but this is coming from adults who should know better

12-year-old Julia keeps a diary about her life growing up in Juarez, Mexico. Life in Juarez is strange. People say its the murder capital of the world. Dad’s gone a lot. They can’t play outside because it isn’t safe. Drug cartels rule the streets. Cars and people disappear, leaving behind pet cats. Then Dad disappears and Julia and her brother go live with her aunt in El Paso. What’s happened to her Dad? Julia wonders. Is he going to disappear forever? A coming-of-age story set in today’s Juarez.
This is a hard-hitting contemporary that shows the difference a border can make in the lives of one family forced to straddle the line. The diary formant set to an audiobook reads like it is being told by Julia herself,

First, I wanna thank Netgalley for giving me an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.


The everything I have lost is about a 12 year old girl called Julia, and everything you will see is everything she writes in her diary, so here she is giving us the story of her life in Mexico with her family and all the struggles she was going through at the time.


It wasn’t that bad, but I was a little confused sometimes and that makes me feel that this could be better in Spanish,and something I didn’t like about this was that sometimes you forget about some things you mentioned before and never mention them again.

When I was Julia's age, I kept a diary. I like to get back to it every now and then, so I am familiar with the text inside. I was surprised so many times, while listening to this audiobook, by something Julia has written because it felt like something that I have written years ago. However, there was one main difference between my life and her life - I never had to be scared to play outside, I never thought that someone might kidnap me or that my parents will never get back home because they were shot on the street. I know some people live exactly as Julia does and this book helped me understand their life so much more. This was such an important read to me because this topic is not something I have ever heard of in school, but I think it should be heard of. The narrator did an amazing job. It was easy to listen to her and I love how I could feel all emotions Julia and other characters had through the narrator's tone.

12-year-old Julia keeps a diary of her life in Juarez, Mexico. In parts of the book, you can see she is just like every other preteen/teenage girl with their everyday worries, but at other times, you are reminded of just how dangerous Juarez is: it's not safe to play outside; shootings are a common occurrence; cars and people disappear. You can really see Julia grow over the course of the book as she becomes less of a sheltered child and more aware to what is really going on in the world and in her family. Lori Felipe-Barkin did a wonderful job narrating this book. In a classroom discussion, I think this book could be a good starting point for talking about immigration and life on the Mexican-American border, especially in the “murder capital of the world”. My fear is that parents will learn how much cussing is in the book and not let their children read it. I think this book is definitely worth the read, though!

Many thanks to NetGalley for providing me an audio ARC of this book.

I really liked this audiobook. I know there are people living these experiences and I am happy to seek out their story to help me understand and spark conversations on what is happening on our borders. I see this as a great Young adult book club selection.

The story is introduced in a Dear Diary format, We are taken in a journey that includes family disfunction, violence and growing up from the protagonist's point of view. It is sometimes funny, sometimes fierce but never lacking in feeling, Parts made me uncomfortable (which is a good thing!) and others I saw the character mature as she acquires more understanding of her family and situations. Good Book!

Lori Felipe-Barkin does an amazing job at narrating the story. The story was narrated in a way that was easy to listen to (though, the format of having the story be told via diary entry also plays a part in that!) and did well at expressing the frustrations Julia felt throughout the book.

I found Julia to be a bit naïve and sheltered but sometimes that's how it is when you're 12 years old. That being said, that aspect about Julia gives the readers an easier time to approach topics of the dangers of her hometown in Juarez, and the American/Mexican border.

I think this is a great middle-age, coming of age, own voice story.

Note: I received an ARC of this book via netgalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review of this audio book.

Audio book narration: 5*****

Lori Felipe-Barkin has done a wonderful job narrating this audio book. The narration makes this book easy to listen to.

Novel: 3***

I have so many issues with this book, but most of all, it was hard to listen to because I never got invested in Julia's story. This is not a happy book, and it's a hard read without having something that keeps the reader interested. 12-year-old Julia is irritatingly naive. Maybe this is explained by the fact that she does not have internet access (so cannot learn what her family, isolation and school are withholding from her), only leaves the house for school or with her parents, her family is severely dysfunctional and her parents keep her uninformed on everything from what her dad's job is to periods.

The book is promoted as a glimpse at life on both sides of the US-Mexico border, taking place in Juarez and El Paso, but for a major part of the novel we are introduced to Juarez through the eyes of a naive girl who is locked away at home and only see the direct consequences events have on Julia's life (such as being unable to leave the house).

Despite the fact that Julia's mother puts her husband before her children's safety and happiness at all times, a 14-year-old Julia and her baby brother eventually end up living in El Paso with their Tia, Bis (great grandmother) and cousin Jonas. Julia suddenly turns from naive girl to angry teen but still remains hopelessly childish in her thoughts and actions. Her anger is justified, but it seems highly unreasonable for her to resent finally being in the place she had been asking to move to for years because of all it has to offer her.

Even once she lives with her Tia I had lots of issues with the messages Julia and the reader are given. When Julia gets lost after her third day at school and arrives home late she is greeted with a slap on the cheek and a conversation that includes: "It happens everywhere. Girls are never safe." Also included are such gems as her best friend explaining to her that ' she has her father's blood, she is just like him' (that would be an organized crime hitman) and none of these things are ever questioned.

The ending has some positive notes, her hermanito is playing on the street, her mother may be returning to the land of the living and she has settled into high school... but I would have liked to see some more supportive characters, a teacher or school psychologist, an after school club or more positive friendships. Ideally, I think some therapy would have been appropriate for both children after all they have been through.

I was excited to read this book and am aware how much books by own voices authors on topics like these are needed, but I think this one has missed the mark, especially with middle grade readers in mind. It may still be a valuable resource if read at school with the support of a teacher or librarian who can fill in any gaps of information.

12 year-old Julia keeps a diary about her life growing up in Juarez, Mexico. Life in Juarez is different, almost hard to describe to someone who doesn’t live there. People say it's the murder capital of the world. And why is Dad away from the family so much of the time? Childrens can't play outside because it isn't safe. Drug cartels rule the streets. Cars and people disappear, leaving behind pet cats to fend for themselves. One day their Dad disappears and Julia and her brother must go live with her aunt in El Paso. What's happened to her Dad? Why will no speak of his disappearance?

This haunting narrative bears witness to family drama, missing girls, and her father’s criminal dealings. The secondary characters help young Julia slowly realize the source of her father’s recent windfall. The protagonists who live in the U.S., Bis, the strong-willed great-grandmother who is seems to be dealing with early stage dementia; Tía, the religious aunt who takes the siblings in when tragedy strikes and their neglectful artist mother stays behind in Juárez; Jonas is her older, Americanized cousinwho helps provide stability and freedom for Julia. In El Paso, they don’t have to worry daily about about killings and violence. To be sure, Texas carries its own troubles, including learning English, adjusting to a new way of life, and making new friends.

This hard coming of age story is realistically full of the language of that lifestyle. The expletive-filled second half might overwhelm more sensitive readers as may the sexual curiosity.

Thank you Netgally for this audio book that gave this reader added insight into to border families living in constant turmoil, and who just want a better life.
The cover art is certainly indicative of the feelings of Julia with her sad expression and closed up stance.

Not a book for just and middle and YA reader.