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Aging Faithfully

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I found this an uneven read. Fryling had insights that drew me deeper into how God is present in our aging, while at other times, her approach seemed overly simplistic. Part of my lack of connection may be that her intended audience is a bit older. Since I'm not yet retired, I didn't connect with first chapter, which was all about handling retirement. Since I know many older people who are not retiring, I wish she'd presented that reality from the beginning. A book I'm glad I read once but not one I'll read again.

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There is no road map for aging. Everything we have ever known is changing, some for the better, some for the not so good. Our bodies may start to let us down, the retirement we so longed for may not be all it's cracked up to be. Our relationships with others can be fraught with concerns. Older people who we have looked up to as role models have died or are dying or struggling with dementia. So how do we make our way through this morass?

Fryling's book addresses many of these issues, not sugar coating them, but speaking compassionately about them. She herself is in the midst of these issues and she shares the journey with us. She believes God is still inviting us to continue to do and be part of the world and part of His plan for each of us.

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I am definitly not the demographic for this book with the target audience being in their 60s, 70s and 80s. However, with the impact of long-Covid and watching those I love in older generations age I found myself curious to see what Alice would say about aging faithfully.

With a focus on transformation there was a lot that was applicable to my own life. I find I’ve been reflecting a great deal on her question of what it looks like to let go of what we are losing.

If you are curious about how to receive the reality of aging as a gift rather than a curse, this book might be for you. Even at 48 it gave me plenty to think about.

I received a free digital galley of this book to read in exchange for my honest opinion.

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So grateful for the wisdom author Alice Fryling shares in this book. I am but a few months from a big birthday and and am taking time to reflect on how I will engage fully and realistically in this final quarter of my life. As a fellow spiritual director I am confident that what I gathered from this book will also assist me as I companion others as they too enter life past midlife. I especially appreciated her repeated reminders that couples often approach aging and retirement from different and distinct vantage points and there is no “one size, fits all” or even “one size fits most” when it comes to matters of aging, retirement and even how we engage with elderly parents, Very helpful resource. I will be recommending this book to many!

I received a free digital review copy from NetGalley. The opinion expressed here is my honest review of this book.

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If you are paying attention to your life, you know that you are aging. Growing older is a given; however, even though the process is not optional, we have all kinds of control over how we age. Alice Fryling has drawn upon her years of life well-lived and her experience as a spiritual director to commend to her readers the practice of Aging Faithfully.

In every sense, growing older is shot through with mystery. We do not know whether we will slide into our nineties with vigor or be stricken with early decrepitude followed by a slow decline to the end. Strong spiritual practices and a mindset that admits to the sovereignty and goodness of God are solid companions for the movement into the liminal space created by the aging process.

I appreciated Fryling’s observations that generative living involves both learning and unlearning. Credos that served me well in my 20’s and even into my middle years may become impossible to manage in an aging body. I may need to relinquish familiar roles and duties to make room for God the Holy Spirit to begin a new work in me. In any case, I want to embrace faithfulness as a healthful alternative to my current idols of productivity and control.

I have a full decade of living to do before I qualify for the biblical quotient for old age, but Aging Faithfully has fortified me for the journey into the unknown. I will be watching for evidence of new birth and opportunities to let go of the false self and faith practices that no longer serve me well. I will begin now to trust for grace to hold things loosely, for I know that loss will be on the horizon, and I must learn to grieve well.

I plan to lean into community for wisdom in assessing how the advancing years are impacting the exercise of my spiritual gifts and professional skill set. God offers the alternative of peace in a season of life that has every possibility of being dominated by fear, loneliness, or regret. Alice Fryling has created a resource to offer support as we address the questions and realities of aging in light of eternal values.

Many thanks to NavPress (Tyndale House) for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which is, of course, offered freely and with honesty.

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This was an interesting read. I'm 51 and starting to think of retirement in about 12 years and my mom who is 89 lives with us during the winters. I tend to get busy with work and our grandkids but I want to be more aware of what Mom might be feeling and be more available for her when she visits soon. This was a good read in preparation of her winter return.

Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review. All opinions are my own.

Published 7 December 2021.

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Many parts of the developed world are encountering the graying phenomenon. As the average life expectancy increases, there will be greater demands on healthcare, medical insurance, and the social safety net. Countries in North America, Western Europe, Japan, Australia, and many other developed countries constantly grapple with how current welfare infrastructure could be sustained into the future. On top of the social and economic challenges, there are also mental health issues that need to be addressed. Already, Covid-19 has wrecked many families who have lost loved ones in the vulnerable elderly age bracket. The central question in this book is this: How do we age faithfully? Author Alice Fryling starts off with some observations on how society view aging in general. The topic of aging tends to be discussed theoretically when we are in our 50s. When in our 60s, we begin to feel the symptoms of aging. In our 70s, we are forced to finally acknowledge that our bodies can no longer catch up with our mental wills. Beyond 80s, we would be facing increasingly significant physical and mental challenges, assuming we didn't get sick in the first place. Fryling affirms that even when we age, we can live with a purpose: "To understand the uniqueness, the complexities, the needs, and the potential" of our souls as we journey toward old age.

We can do this with a paradigm shift to see retirement differently from the rest of the world. That retirement should be seen as an exciting new phase of life. something Fryling calls "liminal space." Interestingly, the author uses the biblical images of fruitfulness and new wineskins to help us crystallize this space. Apart from watching trees in the garden, we can train ourselves to see aging as entering a new kind of birth. This means learning new ways to live and seeing the world through a new lens. A key distinction is to move away from "false self" thinking toward "true self," with the Bible as a valuable guide. Then there is the fact of seeing more of our contemporaries leaving this world. Facing losses can be particularly difficult. The closer the relationship, the tougher the goodbyes. Such a season of life requires a change of thinking as well. After pointing out how some conventional thinking retards the aging process, we get practical strategies on how to transform our thinking. One of them is the spiritual aspect of change. Apart from acceptance and the task of counting one's losses, we can learn how to listen to our bodies and our souls. Using the Lectio Divina, we learn about pacing ourselves with the Word of God. We don't have to let our bodies tell us what we are feeling, but to let the Word of God draw out our souls' responses to God's prompting. This calls for one to soak in the richness of the Bible. Then and only then can we move from holy losses to holy invitations. This is the crux of a spiritual transformation that could move us from physical age-ing to spiritual sage-ing. When practiced earlier in our lives, such a strategy could prepare us to let go of the things of this world and to embrace the next.

My Thoughts
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There are many reasons why this book is valuable for all ages. First, the golden agers (or silver sages), those who are retired or above 60s, they can deal with the fears and apprehensions of growing old. The author who is in this age group writes with full understanding and empathy on the plight of what it means to be old. The title of the book should be enticing enough for anyone currently in this phase of life. In fact, the title is a positive rendering about the way that the aged ought to be doing. Be faithful even when our bodies are losing their edge. There is a lot of great resources here such as biblical assurances, testimonies, and tips about bridging generations. Second, for the middle-agers, this book forms a useful reminder that time is short and that it is never too early to plan for retirement. Many who are in this age group are usually busy with work, responsibilities, and great plans for the future. Many of these plans center around material subsistence or monetary gains. For example, one of the measures of preparing for the future is Financial Planning or some form of investment. All of these planning centers around financial projections or asset growth. Not many look at the emotional or spiritual aspect of aging. Knowing how to age faithfully applies equally to this group especially when life is so fragile. No one can predict if one can even live to 60! Finally, for those 40 years and younger, this book could serve many purposes. One key purpose is greater empathy for the aged. For this group, they might have parents who are entering the aged phase and with no experience or know-how about aging, they might not know how to empathize. Hopefully, this book could do more than mere information but result in the transformation of their thinking about aging. What better way than to learn at an early stage.

Aging is a practical matter for all ages to think about. One does not need to wait until they are old before preparing for old-aged issues. As we celebrate birthdays every year, after blowing out candles and enjoying the parties, we can have the rest of the year to ponder about how we want to age faithfully. This book provides a way for us to do that and should be a valuable resource for each year and many years to come.

Alice Fryling is a spiritual director and a bestselling author of ten books on relationships and spiritual formation, including her new book Aging Faithfully: The Holy Invitation of Growing Older, to be released November 9, 2021. Alice received training in Spiritual Direction from the Christos Center in Minneapolis, and training in the Enneagram at Loyola University. She has been leading Enneagram workshops for thirty years, teaching participants how to use the Enneagram to know God and themselves more deeply. She is also certified to teach the Myers Briggs Temperament Inventory. She and her husband, Bob, have two married daughters and four grandchildren. They live in Monument, Colorado.

Rating: 4.5 stars of 5.

conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Tyndale House Publishers, NavPress, and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

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This book is designed for Christians who are over age 60 to help them navigate the third part of life in a way that is honoring to God. This book would also be useful to those who work with seniors. The author encourages readers to be fruitful for God's purposes in their lives. the book talks about letting go, replacing fear with peace and finding the holy invitations God has for your life now.
As a young senior, this book was helpful to me and also in my dealings with older seniors in my volunteer work as a Stephen Minister and as a daughter and daughter in law.
I received a compelmentary copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

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