This is a lifestyle/ self-help book where the author draws on their life experiences as well as decades worth of interactions with people in a similar situation to herself.
She is an active participant in groups that support daughters of narcissists and her passion and earnestness about helping people show through her words.
This is not necessarily meant to be an expert guide or take on that professional help status but strikes me as a book to build solidarity and awareness of the suffering of victims in a relatable way where you are being spoken to by a friend rather than a professional.
This is a hard read, particularly for people who are still being subjected to narcissistic control on a daily basis so it's something to read when you feel fully ready to learn more about the condition.

As someone who was born to 2 narcissists, this book was extremely helpful. It was eyeopening and helped me to understand that it truly isn't ME but them. I am just a survivor of them.

This was a difficult but great and informative read- makes you look at maternal relationships in a completely different way.

This was a difficult read for me but I am so glad that I did. Being the daughter of a narcissist is an incredibly lonely, isolating experience. From an early age I knew that my mother was different from all the other mums waiting at the school gates. So, to find out that my experience existed, not just in my mind, but happened to others was incredibly enlightening.. The author describes the behaviour accurately and there were many 'light bulb moments. I just wish this book was around for me to read forty years ago, it would have surely changed my life.

Very well written, takes you on a journey of therapy. Offers explanations, alternative thinking patterns and solutions without telling you what is wrong/right.

NetGalley ARC Educator 550974

If you've ever questioned yourself, thought you were crazy after an encounter with your parent or wondered if others grew up with a narcissist, this book is for you. It explores parent-child relationships when the parent is struggling with mental health issues or is just on the narcissist spectrum.

It is a must read for anyone that has a tumultuous relationship with a parent. The advice and examples can be applied to dads as well. Some of the examples may trigger you so be warned. Welcome to freedom.

Seems the author used the contribution of some without their knowledge, so these are their experiences. There is plenty of research about narcissists so no need to pay for it, a simple google search will do.

I have never connected with a book like I did with this one. To finally have a name to apply to what my DNA donor is... it's amazing. She truly is a narcissist and the examples were right on. I felt like this book was written just for me and about my life. I was constantly surprised by the things the author said and how they so closely mirrored my childhood and my life and how I was treated while I was growing up.

I feel like the information was presented in such a way that it was respectful of my feelings and educational at the same time. Before reading this, I had honestly believed that I was the only person with a "mother" who was as crazy and abusive as mine. Now I have connected with other women who have had very similar experiences. It is an amazing feeling that is hard to describe: almost a relief and validation that it wasn't me and that my feelings are legit. I am so glad that I read this book.

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC.

Thank you NetGalley and the publishers for providing this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

I picked up this book because I was interested in the summary. My relationship with my mother can always improve and if understanding more about her personality can help sign me up. I wish there was tools that we could use in dealing with them better than cut them off.

My mum isn't crazy - she's actually wonderful, but from time to time, we don't see eye to eye. Mainly I'm curious about relationships and family types, so I was intrigued to read this book. It's raw, and I think it would definitely appeal to those with estranged family relationships, or relationships they wish were estranged! I think this could be life changing for some.

The audience for this book is very specific, and very unfortunate. You're Not Crazy, It's Your Mother is a guide for anyone, but mostly women, wanting to cut ties with their mother. This is a horrific decision, which no one should ever have to make, but this book wonderfully guides the reader through the steps on this unpredictable, and emotional journey.

Danu Morrigan has spent her career talking to Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers (DoNMs), gathering stories, experiences, and advice. The angle here is relatively simple. Some mothers may have undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which may help to explain some of their behaviors. Morrigan spells out how NPD can manifest, relating this to the mother/daughter dynamic. It makes for tough reading at times, as the revelations can be brutal. But Morrigan’s easy, conversational style eases the pain a little.

Mother/daughter estrangement is not something that is frequently discussed, as the decision to actively renounce one’s parents is seen as heartless. This is an issue Morrigan addresses beautifully in her book, asking the reader to question their Stories, and whether they are actually true, or just standards placed on them by others.

Morrigan goes through various scenarios, but never tells the reader what they must do. She offers advice on what she and her fellow DoNMs have experienced, and lays out the options. But the ultimate decision is always with the reader.

As someone placed in a situation where estrangement was necessary for my mental health, I found this book immensely helpful. It successfully addressed the many niggling thoughts that have gone through my mind, and validated them. In a situation such as this, it can be easy to feel like you’re alone, but this book made me realize that my position is not unique, and I’m not a “bad person”.

I hope you never have to read this book. But if you find yourself in this scenario, it’s an indispensable guide to a tricky situation. And, hopefully, will help you on a journey with a happy ending.

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for this copy to read. I really connected with this book. I appreciate the author giving real life examples of her own experiences with her mother. Great book and interesting read.

As a therapist who often deals with complicated family dynamics, I would be wary recommending this book to my clients and people reading it without having an access to a professional counselling. Unfortunately, "You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother" presents as quite anti-therapy and spreads some misinformation about the mental health sector. More about this later.

Talking about often misunderstood Narcissistic Personality Disorder is of great importance. However, when you decide to cover such a topic not being a mental health professional, you should at least consult some. Talk to experts, researchers, cite sources, add footnotes, further readings and list of places where one who suspects they were/are dealing with narcissistic mother could seek help. Danu Morrigan offers none of it. She is a founder of the peer-support website for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, which is an important resource for many, but lived experience without solid background in evidence-based therapies can result in very dangerous advice.

As much as appreciate the author disclosing her mother was not professionally diagnosed, as many people with NPD are not, the criteria she quotes are quite vague and can apply to anyone, and therefore people who lived with emotionally immature parents can armchair-diagnose their mothers and/or fathers as narcissists. Combine this with phrases such as "Your mother never loved you" directed to people who are already in quite a vulnerable state, and you might cause even more suffering. Just a side note, I think "You were not loved the way you needed to be" would more appropriate, as we don't know if people who survived difficult family dynamics indeed were raised by narcissist or people with poor emotional education.

The solution offered by Morrigan is also quite dubious. Instead of psychotherapy, the author proposes an alternative medicine practice, called EFT Tapping. Such practices can support healing, but if the person endured years of psychological, emotional and sometimes physical abuse, their brain chemistry often alters. Talk therapies and medication, working with trauma specialists help people get back on the track. Spreading misinformation about psychotherapy should also be addressed. Advice such as "Don't let your mother pick the therapist because she will go with someone she's already seeing (and they are enabling her) will cause your mother and the therapist gang up on you" I perceive as fear mongering. Therapists are ethically not allowed to facilitate two processes for the same client/patient (for example the same therapist cannot see a husband and a wife as two separate clients). Even though Danu Morrigan addresses that therapy isn't something "of her times", she oughts it to her potentially vulnerable readers to update the information.

I acknowledge how reading this book could be a validating experience to survivors of emotionally immature/narcissistic parents, but the road to wellbeing should be presented more responsibly than "Just try some tapping".

I've never read any books about mothers and narcissism, and this one is very comprehensive. Great resource. I found it very interesting. Not my usual reading choice but found myself absorbed in it.

Thanks to author, publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read this book.

I'm not saying for sure my mother is narcissistic, but dang if things aren't toxic right now.  In looking for ways to help cope, understand, get my point across, I came across the book "You're not Crazy, it's your mother" and decided to check it out.  I was immediately drawn in just by the foreward of the book - "The information in this book will give you freedom in a way you can't even imagine right now. The exact shape of this freedom will be down to you. This book does not impose any decisions. Rather, it gives you information, perspective and opinions to allow you to choose your own freedom.  Know this too: You are not broken and in need of fixing. You are, rather, wounded and in need of healing."  It is also worth noting that this book doesn't need to just be for the Mother/Daughter dynamic and can be helpful for any parent/child dynamic. 

For anyone else that may be going through this - say it with me - You are not crazy. You are perfectly sane. Your perceptions are valid and right. You can trust your own reality. Some days this is much, much easier said than done, but I am hoping what I have learned in this book will help me confront, understand and heal from this toxic bullshit that has been going on since last year. (And perhaps my whole life, but it's only magnified itself recently.)  This book also helped explain why I may have some of the anxiety issues that I have. Still working through getting those under control, but understanding where they may have stemmed from has been helpful.

The book ends with some tapping techniques I'll certainly be trying out to see if they can help.  I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley in order to write this review, I was not otherwise compensated.

I'd like to day a huge thank you to Morrigan and NetGalley. As a daughter of a Narcissistic mother, this book spoke to me on so many levels. I'm still in a very sensitive place after reading, so I'll post a full review later.

I just can't recommend this one enough. I'm already on my way to check out the author's other books.

I received this copy in exchange for my honest review.

A good book that explores narcissistic tendencies. It was very informative.

Thank you netgalley for providing me with an arc for this book.

Much needed. I've read many books about mothers and narcissism, but this one is very comprehensive. Great resource.

Thanks to author, publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.