I was lucky enough to get an arc (from NetGalley)


I absolutely adored this book.

First thing you should know before reading is, don’t go into this thinking it’s kind of a mystery/thriller. It’s not. It’s mainly about Bailey processing her grief, learning to live without Vanessa, and growing up through the process. She also learns that loving someone doesn’t stop after they die, and finding out they lied doesn’t make you love them any less.

Plot/pacing:
The pacing is somehow slow and fast at the same time. You always want to know what happens next, but you don’t find out any shocking information for a while. I could never have predicted the ending of this. It was bittersweet for Vanessa, but made Bailey the best version of herself.

Characters:
I was very emotional reading this book. I felt like I was Bailey, and my friend just died. I felt all of her pain as if it were my own, and cried multiple times. Vanessa reminds me of Allison from Pretty Little Liars because she kept secrets, but always cared about Bailey.

I loved Bailey’s relationship with her moms. It felt very realistic. You can tell they love her, but like all parents they made some mistakes. All the tiny issues between them got solved naturally throughout the book.

All the characters in this book had a clear motivation for every decision they made. There is not a single character in this that I hate. There are moments when I don’t like them, but then you learn why and understand.

Small complaint:
Vanessa is called a “book girl” a lot. It just gets a little repetitive.

This is my favorite YA book I have read so far this year. I tore through it in less than a day. I think the bot is a bit unbelievable and a convenient way to move the plot, but I don't even care because I felt Bailey in my soul.