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The Flirtation Experiment

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Member Reviews

The Flirtation Experiment is full of tips to stay close to your husband. It is written from a Christian perspective and reminds us that we are to love our husbands like Christ loved the church. The different chapters focus on practical ways to keep the flame alive no matter if you’ve been married a couple of years or decades. The authors are quick to tell readers this is for couples who are in healthy marriages already and not to use if you’re in abusive relationships. I am excited to try some of these ideas. 
Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book for my honest opinion.
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Easy to read and fun! Love how you can practically implement all these little things to freshen up a marriage.
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Once upon a time, Phylicia Masonheimer decided to do an experiment on her husband, to rekindle the passion they’d had earlier in their relationship. When she told her friend Lisa Jacobson, the two of them began to discuss the importance of investing in flirtation and romance to keep the marital connection strong. Even before the end of the experiment, the results were in. It was a hit!

Phylicia and Lisa walk wives through different areas of flirtation and how to do it well in your marriage. These aren’t pie-in the-sky ideas, but rather practical tips that any wife can put into practice to improve the intimacy with her husband.

If you forgot the last time you felt tingles around your husband or your marriage just needs a pick-me-up, pick up this book and start your own flirtation experiment!
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When I first heard about The Flirtation Experiment, I was intrigued for two reasons.  One — the title.  I’m not very good at flirting; I’m too blunt and direct by nature for this to come easily for me.  So the idea of a book to help me add some flirtation into my “everyday marriage,” as the authors call it, was appealing.

Second was, in fact, the authors.  Or author.  I wasn’t familiar with Phylicia Masonheimer prior to this, but Lisa Jacobson’s husband has visited at my parents’ house on several occasions.  I’ve met him, conversed with him, had family dinner with him…so I know him to be a good guy and her, by proxy, to be a good woman, and wanted to hear what she had to say on this topic.

So what are we talking about here?  The book, The Flirtation Experiment: Putting Magic, Mystery, and Spark Into Your Everyday Marriage, is the testimony of the flirtation experiment these two ladies carried out in their own marriages — along with what they learned and suggestions for how you (and I) can do it, too.

“Flirtation” experiment is, in my opinion, a little bit of a misnomer, because it’s broader than that.  Not everything in here is what I would consider to be “flirtation.” It’s all marriage-building/relationship-building, though.

This is probably a good time to point out that the authors are careful to specify that it “is not intended as a fix for abusive, manipulative, sinful husbands, or as a tract of biblical proof texts as to why the Christian wife should persevere in a destructive relationship.” It’s written for “healthy but sometimes complacent marriages.”

(Personally, I think it can potentially also be beneficial for less-healthy-but-safe marriages, because it isn’t intended as a “fix” for anything; it’s just encouragement for wives to love their husbands well.  And it’s hard to go wrong loving your husband well, unless the situation is extreme.)

The authors’ goal is that when you’ve read the book, you will (bulleted list is quoted from the book):

• be filled with hope and encouragement for how [you] can make a powerful, positive change in [your] marriages,
• become empowered to pursue [your] husbands romantically,
• understand the Bible invites women to be proactive in their marriages,
• be motivated to consistently love in creative ways, and
• forge closeness and intimacy in [your] marriages.

It does this through describing a series of thirty experiments.  Lisa and Phylicia take turns describing the experiments they did in their marriages around the ideas of Affection, Passion, Playfulness, Kindness, Desire, Adventure, Laughter, Celebration, Attraction, Connection, Vulnerability, Mystery, Affirmation, Refuge, Friendship, Delight, Respect, Romance, Intimacy, Blessing, Generosity, Rest, Thoughtfulness, Comfort, Faith, Tenderness, Covenant, Hope, Healing, and Joy.

In each chapter, its author describes what she did, why she did it, and what the outcome was.  There’s even a small snippet from the husband in each chapter giving his perspective.

One really unique — and helpful — aspect of this book is that, because it’s authored by two women, we get to see a glimpse of how the different personalities and backgrounds of the ladies and their husbands create different dynamics.  Each one of us has different styles, strengths, and struggles.

Solo-authored books can sometimes leave readers feeling like there’s a one-size-fits-all formula for a strong marriage, but this duo lets us get a peek at how one husband might be indifferent to something that’s very meaningful for another man.  One wife might find something to be very stretching that comes easily to someone else.  What’s enjoyable for one couple might be tedious or terrifying for another.

There’s just enough of that here to help us see that what works well in one marriage might not be very helpful for another, which makes it easier (I think) to feel comfortable switching things up as needed.

Along similar lines, there’s an important caveat here: you can’t do any of these experiments with the goal of changing your guy or getting a certain response out of him.  While offering love will frequently result in positive response, people are…well, people.  They don’t always behave in predictable ways, and we can only control our own behavior.  If you engage in things like this with expectations of your spouse, that’s a setup for resentment and/or disappointment.

It’s best to just love well for the sake of loving well, and see any positive response as a bonus.
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This was a great book for the newlywed or the person who has been married for years. It is co-authored by two different women so we get to hear a few different perspectives on marriage. This is such a fun book and great challenge. :)
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This book will absolutely help women everywhere in every season. It is written by two women in completely different seasons of marriage, and I can't tell you how helpful that was as a wife and reader. Also, there are so many different categories of experiments in the book, it makes it much more relatable and realistic. Whichever one I am feeling low in at the moment, it gives great inspiration. Now mind you, this is not how-to book and it also is not a pinterest/blog list of different things to do with your husband. No, it is the author's experiences and what they did that specifically meant something for them and their husbands. Which means, yes, the reader has to use their imagination, but also it gives the freedom to do something that will truly speak to the husband that we are married to.
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If you’re looking for a fun read that both inspires you and compels you to put what you’re learning into action, I can’t recommend this book enough!

I pre-ordered this book as soon as it became available, and I waited with eager anticipation to begin reading it in a book club with some dear local friends. The Flirtation Experiment book did not disappoint! I've long admired both authors and haven't read a marriage book that addresses wives specifically in quite a while. Each day you read a chapter and choose an "assignment" to pull off with your husband. Some of my favorites included Playfulness and Blessing. I read ahead and created a checklist of sorts on my phone with each day’s theme and ideas for how I would implement it, so I can even go back and recreate this little experiment anytime I want!

I especially appreciated both authors’ vulnerability and faithfulness to Scripture. Marriage can be hard work, but it can also be fun.
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I enjoyed the idea behind this book and it did provide a few helpful ideas that I appreciated. Overall I didn't find it to be incredibly deep or revolutionary, but it was a helpful reminder and a quick read.
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The Flirtation Experiment by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer is a book that all married couples should read. It is geared towards women, just because the authors are women. I loved the premise of this book and how the authors took on this “experiment” that they are now sharing with others. With interesting anecdotes and lots of practical ideas, this book can be life changing for marriages. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.
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I really enjoyed this book. I found it to be just what I wanted, not the "let down hollywood style" romance, but from a practical, every day, what does that look like perspective. Their stories are real, raw, and honest about their experiments as well as their emotions as they tried out these different styles, even the ones outside of their comfort zones, but I think what I really appreciated the most, was the husband's perspective and thoughts that were added. What husband doesn't want to be pursued? What husband doesn't want their wives attention? Ladies, it's a win win for both parties involved. Love it!!!
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*
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This book was a pretty quick read but it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I thought it would be a little practical on how to flirt in your marriage. It is an easy read if you want to add a little spice in your life
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All Christian wives will benefit from reading The Flirtation Experiment. Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer bring experiences from their own marriages to share with other wives. I love that one author had been married for less than ten years and the other for thirty years so wives from all stages of marriage will relate. The chapters are short and easy to read and the advice is practical and come with personal insight of carrying out the ideas.
I received a complimentary copy of this book, but all opinions are my own.
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In a healthy, happy marriage, intentional flirting can bring a fresh dose of fun and romance. Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer bring wives practical ideas and biblical exhortation in their new book, "The Flirtation Experiment." Alternating authors between chapters, we're given the benefit of the wisdom of Lisa's experience from almost thirty years of marriage, along with the realism of Phylicia's perspective in the midst of young marriage and motherhood.

I'm only halfway through, but I'm really appreciating the authentic story-telling style, along with their biblically-based view of marriage. Whether you treat it as a thirty-day "experiment" or simply a gentle source of encouragement for your marriage, I think you'll be glad you read it.
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To cut to the chase: I absolutely L-O-V-E-D this book. 

I'm a Christian woman who has been married for 8 years to my college sweetheart. I found this highly relatable, encouraging, challenging, and ultimately motivating. 

I related so much to Phylicia Masonheimer. And I really appreciated Lisa Jacobson's experience. 

The overall outline of the book focuses on 30 "experiments" done within marriage to strengthen and reinforce affection, communication, and bring some lightheartedness back (if lost) into marriage. Each chapter focuses on something such as: playfulness, desire, vulnerability, or delight. The two authors swap back and forth between each chapter and I found their differences to be appealing and this should hopefully help the book reach a wider audience of Christian married women. There is so much wisdom here and much of it is gleaned through anecdotal writing. This makes it so easy to read - it's just stories from these ladies' lives. I thought they were genuine and wrote of real issues within a normal, healthy marriage.

This is a book to read and re-visit, to relate to and implement...

I highly highly recommend for any Christian woman who loves her husband and is looking to do exactly what the tagline suggests: put magic, mystery, and spark into your everyday marriage. 

I received a copy from NetGalley for an honest review. I would pay my own money for this book because it is so valuable.
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This book was a pretty good guide on how to add some spark back into your marriage. I appreciated that it came from a biblical point of view and was useful for all stages of marriage.
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The Flirtation Experiment by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer was a helpful book for thinking of ways to flirt with your husband again. 

I found it helpful that Lisa and Phylicia supplied revelations from different places in marriages as one of them had only been married 5 years and the other decades. And their personalities were different so one thing would work for one of them and the other would handle the same thing differently.  

Although they did not provide a list of flirtation tips which I would have enjoyed and found helpful.  They did provide some examples throughout the chapters. Some of which I plan to implement. 

The book is not designed to be marriage counseling and they mention several times this is not for a woman in an abusive relationship. 

I would recommend the book for a woman wanting to add a little flirtation to her marriage and bring back a little spark. 


I received this book from Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review.
You can see my full review at More Than a Review dot com where I rate the level of sex, violence, language and drug/alcohol use in books.
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Married for 16 years, I sit right in between the timeframe of Phylicia and Lisa’s marriages. Ours isn’t perfect, but we are in a sweet spot of marriage. We are settled, we agree on most things (and respectfully disagree on others), and we like being around each other. Still, I liked the idea of bringing back “magic, mystery, and excitement into [my] healthy but sometimes complacent marriage.” The ideas in the experiment are basic but impactful. They are easy to implement (some easier than others) and can change the outcome of a day, a conversation, and even a family dynamic. I agree with the authors that a little intention can benefit a marriage in big ways.
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I enjoyed this book especially since it was co-authored by women representing one earlier in marriage than myself and one more seasoned than I am. Those varied perspectives were valuable. The ladies were transparent in their own stories and shared their actual flirtation experiments. Each chapter concluded with a flirtation experiment that could be completed by the reader. The recommendations were often simple, fun, and sweet while others were more challenging, but all are beneficial in cultivating a thriving marriage.
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In many ways it wasn't really what I expected. I was expecting some practical tips for how to flirt with your husband, I suppose. While you could find things like that in there, it wasn't the focus. 

Each chapter focused on an aspect of your marriage and your relationship you could improve. One of which was the Flirtation Experiment. Another was the Affection Experiment. Each chapter shared an anecdote from one of the authors lives and how they challenged themselves with their own experiment. They then encourage you to do the same. 

While it wasn't quite what I was expecting, I did enjoy my time with it and the reminders it gave. It did spur me to serve my husband a little better and get over myself a little more.
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I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was a fantastic book for anyone who is married or planning to get married. Phylicia and Lisa were both so transparent and had great ideas for bringing couples closer to God and closer to each other.
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