''While lying in bed that night, the alcohol kept talking, telling me that drinking with friends equated to happiness.''
This is how Daniel Fuselier describes his feelings after a first encounter with alcohol. In 'In Persuit of Calm' dr. Fuselier, now a clinical psychologist, describes his lifelong struggle with addiction. As he himself describes is, the main goal of the book is ''to give addicts a resource, perspective, and recovery tool that is rarely ever found in the healing arts''.
I had very high expectations for the book. A book about addiction told from the perspective of a clinical psychologist. That would certainly give amazing insights and some deep level of self-reflection. Maybe it was exactly because of these high expectations that the book disappointed.
In the beginning of the book, dr. Fuselier describes his troubled childhood. Child of divorced parents, he lived between two homes: his father with big alcohol and drug parties and his mother who remarried into an unhappy marriage. We get some highly detailed descriptions of early childhood memories, of social anxiety in school, and how alcohol and drug use slowly took over a larger and larger part of young Daniels live. The descriptions are relatable and colourful, and really provide a clear look on how minor psychological difficulties can become bigger and darker, especially when alcohol and drugs are used as coping mechanism.
In the continuation of the book dr. Fuselier describes his further upbringing in New Orleans, his college experiences filled with parties and substance abuse, and his freelancer working career going around several places in the US. He describes some actual traumatic events and how he got exposed to painkillers and tranquilizers.
But then halfway through the book, he completely lost me. After a stay in prison, dr. Fuselier describes a ''transformative mythical experience''. Although I certainly believe dr. Fuselier experienced a moment of revelation of some sort, in the book that's just it. Cleared of any addiction for the next 20 or so years. Of course, many people that struggle with addiction get to a certain breaking point where they realize that they HAVE to make some changes. But to simply wake up one day and be completely transformed? I'm not sure how relatable or useful on a road to recovery that is.
The continuation of the book describes dr. Fuseliers career path, his family life and mainly what feels like his fitness journey. No descriptions of troubles with addictive substances. No rather than that, dr. Fuselier describes that even though he sometimes got exposed to certain medications, he never felt any urge to fall back into old patterns. Until he did.
The final portion of the book then describes his severe fall back and long road to recovery. Although I do think that this is a part that will feel much more relatable, the author had already lost me at that point. The book is mainly a detailed description of major life events, but the level of introspection that I would have expected from a clinical psychologist is not provided.
In addition, dr. Fuselier seems to have a rather negative standpoint towards modern day psychology and psychiatry. A quote from the book:
''A major flow in psychological diagnosis is not accounting for quantum mental change... The reason the profession does not recognize quantum change is a simple matter of narrow-minded skepticism and use of a scientific method that can't begin to capture the magnificence and immeasurableness of such experiences''.
And:
''Drugs are entirely unnecessary if environments and relationships in them either change for the better or are healthy to begin with. The same is true for all of society. As our world became more chaotic and stressful and health conditions worsened, pharmaceutical companies took to drugging entire populations''.
Maybe I'm that professional with ''narrow-minded skepticism'' that believes in modern day psychiatry, with it's flaws but most certainly with many benefits. There are just some major points I wished that dr. Fuselier, especially as a mental health professional would have further elaborated on. Like how one can't just cold-turkey quit with alcohol. How many tranquilizers need to be slowly reduced. How addiction is actually a livelong progress, for which it takes afford every. single. day. not to have a drawback. Elaborating on societies view of addiction, if the author is so critical on society. Or on the current ways that addiction is treated within the addiction care centers.
Like the author concludes ''Mental health professionals who are addicts have a unique opportunity to use our illness and recovery experiences to benefit others''. I can't agree more. I just don't think this book matches this statement.