Americans are individualistic to a fault--even within our families! Jefferson Bethke invites us into a new, different, and better way. What if our families were more connected? What if we acted like a team? Leaning on the examples of ancient cultures, as well as sports teams, he gives solid advice and actionable steps for an intergenerational, healthy family culture.

This book is a fairly quick read, but it definitely packs a punch! The first half describes current cultural trends, the history of the family, and how we got here. The second half is full of practical advice on how to build a family team - a group of people all utilizing their skills and talents to contribute to the family mission. I love the concept of a family team works that together towards a common purpose, rather than being a place where individuals come to check out after a long day at work. Jeff writes in a conversational, engaging style and includes plenty of research, examples, and context to back up what he is saying.

This book would be beneficial to anyone with a family - newlyweds or young parents, parents of teenagers, or single people who hope to have children someday (even single people are already part of a family!). I highly recommend it!

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

This new book, Take Bake Your Family ~From the Tyrants of Burnout, Busyness, Individualism, and the Nuclear Ideal by Jefferson Bethke is about how families should be living as God intended. The author takes a walk back in history in where families started to change, comparing the western family with families from other countries, and the challenges we are facing in the modern technical world we live in. This book makes some great points that are definitely worth reading and pondering on. I definitely see the issues and how families have changed over the years and how we can learn from history, other countries, and definitely how God intended families to be. I did have a hard time every time he said the word team, that is just not a work I relate to with, but I got the point he was making. This is not necessarily a new way to live but looking at the ancient way to do family. Which I agree with!

The first half of the book is about the impact of the Industrial Revolution had on families. I found it very interesting! The last half has lots of suggestions, implementation, God’s design for families, and examples from other families in how they are changing their families.

Issues he writes about is how we have become an individualized culture, consumption monsters, and this has affected our lives! We think that individualism is a strong goal but it often time can separate families. The need for both parents to work simply out of necessity is the norm in our current culture. The western ideal is luxury. Western families are built to consume, to have more, to make it bigger, to spend more. Whatever we chase, forms us! It seems everything we do points to families being built to last but our families are failing, fracturing, self-destructing.

He stated, the ancient picture of family was a robust, inter-generational, complex, and enormously helpful web of relationships where the most vulnerable and downtrodden were welcomed, protected, and given a safety net. A great point he made is home should get the best of everyone’s talents and skills, before work or school or anything else we do. The goal is to make home the orbiting force from what we do. Great questions to ponder on. Is home the center? Is home the headquarters? Is home the heartbeat for everything else? Our families should have a mission that focus on what does God have for you in this season, year, and life. Which will save us from bad decisions, bad direction, and will give us hope!

This book is such a breath of fresh air among all the the noise telling us to hustle more, do more and focus more on ourselves. I'm so thankful to have stumbled on Jeff's work during a season when my own soul was burned out and searching for a different way to live and to lead my family. This book sheds light on how we arrived where we have in this hyper-individualistic culture where family feels like more of a burden than a blessing and where collectively we feel exhausted, stressed and burned out. It used to be the norm to live in multi-generational households where all of the various tasks and financial burdens required to manage a household were shared among many with various skill levels and wisdom. Then, through the industrial revolution, several factors led us into a more disintegrated family model. Now we live in a society where we try to do more with less manpower, we have to work multiple jobs just to keep up with the bills and to consume more and more things that are marketed to us as "must-haves, and we do all of this without the wisdom of our elders because we have pushed them into nursing homes. Jeff lays out a beautiful vision of returning to our ancient roots and God's intended design for family, one that structures the family as more of a team on a mission. He challenges the reader to think about how our unique identities and skills can bless our families instead of our current cultural model of using our skills to achieve more. I absolutely love the vision this book has given my husband and I for our own family and already feel more joy and fulfillment in our lives as we shift our focus from individual purpose to a more team centered family were we are led by one collective team mission. I will be recommending this book to absolutely everyone I know.

Bethke makes a case for the benefits of creating a family culture that operates as team rather than as a group of individuals. He offers some practical tips on how a family can be united and strengthened through a mission and vision as well as weekly rhythms.
I appreciated the Family Spotlights throughout the book that show how different families are working towards creating a family team. Sometimes one may need a radical leap of faith while others are creative given their circumstances. Fortunately, simpler, frequent rhythms are what really glue a family together.

Take Back Your Family is a quick read (or listen) that gives a great intro into the concept of a Family Team and why our families in the USA are struggling. The Bethke’s have many additional resources available to help develop the Family Team mindset and put it to practice, but this is a nice introduction for those who aren’t familiar with it!

Jefferson Bethke's Take Back Your Family is a game changer. Your mind will be blown as you realize what family can be & should be. And I'm not talking about the nuclear family (2 parents, 2 kids) ideal so many of us subscribe to. Jefferson uses the analogy of a sporting team to describe God's vision of family. Teams are made up of individuals who work together, they are primarily about the group as they have a shared identity and mission. Within a team, there are coaches who are "concerned with creating the best possible outcome...[asking the question] how can I help you flourish? Coaches teach, coach, mentor, create vision, plan and strategize. Therefore EVERY family can be a team - it's not about measuring up to an ideal, rather rallying together on mission with the players & coaches you currently have. Through funny and heart warming examples, family spotlights and practical ideas to implement Jefferson equips readers with the tools they need to hit stop, rethink and build a family according to the Biblical design. The best part, Jefferson stresses over and over again there is no guilt or shame for not having started or done something counter productive to the family team you wish to create.

Really enjoyed this perspective on family and the meaning it should take on beyond the immediate unit of mom/dad/kids - to have a purpose or mission for your family in the world vs just a goal of keeping everyone happy and healthy. As a new parent without family living nearby, I really resonate with (or rather feel the lack of) the value of having multiple generations involved on a day-to-day basis. Overall this book really challenged me- in the best kind of way!

This book was great to adjust my view of modern family structure in our culture. Jefferson’s thoughtful insight helps bring seemingly obscure concepts to life in his easy-to-follow writing. He teaches and presents in ways that are not only comprehensible, but also immediately applicable. I highly recommend this book for any family looking to center their lives on our mission of building teams & growing gardens.

This is a book that will teach you all kinds of things about how to be a well-functioning family, both within your small family (you, possibly a husband, maybe kids, or whatever family situation you might be in) and your extended family. The first part of the book describes the history of family life and what the Biblical idea behind family is. Then Jeff dives into describing ways to incorporate those ideas into your day-to-day life.

There are a lot of books out there that tell you a lot of ways to change your life. When I read those I get so motivated, work on the ideas for a week, maybe 2, tops a week, and then the momentum dies, my self discipline is out the window and I'm back to where I was before. I love how the ideas in this book are supposed to become a weekly rhythm. And the awesome thing with weekly rhythms is, that if you mess up the one week you can just start all over the next week. One week of the year lost, 51 more tries to go.

If you are looking for a Biblical view of family that will enrich not only your life, but the ones of generations to come, this book is for you! Read this, learn how to live in Gods peaceful rhythm and learn so so much from other generations.

10/10 would recommend

If you are married and have kids, about to have kids, or are looking to start a family, this is a good resource to look at. Jeff does a good job of sharing how important family are to each other. how everyone is part of a team within the family and has different, but important, roles.
I really enjoyed his analogies and his research that he shares in this book to explain the importance of family.


I graciously received an advance e-copy from Netgalley for review. All opinions are my own.

Great book challenging the modern understanding of family. This book explores the roots of our current western perspective of family and where we got off track. It explores the Biblical view of family as a multi-generational team on mission and leads us to rediscover this mindset for our own families!

"We pass on our faith to our kids, not so they can consume it for their personal emotional feel-good, but so the territory of the kingdom can be expanded as we raise disciples who kick back the darkness and permeate every walk of life with the sacrificial love found in Jesus."

This quote especially fires me up! Who doesn't want to raise kids who are kicking back the darkness and expanding the territory of God's kingdom? Whether you're married or single, kids or no kids, this book is a much needed kick in the pants to get on board with God's redemptive plan and start living intentionally on mission!

Bethke hits the bullseye with this book! The message and practical help and encouragement found in this book is what SO many families need in this cultural moment. And, my husband and I have been learning from the Bethkes via conferences, Instagram, etc and still I learned so much more through reading his newest book. Run, not walk, to get your copy! You won’t regret it. Reading this book could likely be the answer to many prayers.

WHAT. A. GEM…..Jeff Bethke does it again! This book is for ALL families. It speaks to all levels and offers encouragement for the longevity of your family team. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have kids yet, are a single parent, grandparent, or parent to many…..you will find yourself deep in the pages.
What I loved most about Take Back Your Family, were the easy to implement (aka- realistic) changes to our current habits. Such as, instead of “mentally ear marking” money in your savings for giving- how about you have a seperate account. It makes the mental game so much easier knowing exactly what it is for. You can watch it grow, and allow your littles to be more present with its intent. That was just one of the many topics spoken of.

I cannot wait to gift this book to friends who are ready to be more intentional in their day-to-day doings with their family. My only qualm I have with this book? When I realized I was at the last page. I couldn’t get enough of it!

This book had me excited about history and I learned so many new facts that helped me understand some of the way American culture has formed. Understanding the history can help us to see where we've come from and where we may end up if we continue on. If you've been near me these last 10 or so days as i've read the book, you know I can't stop talking about it. I'm making everyone i know read it! I love that it gives applicable ideas to implement AND there's no guilt or shame for not having thought of it or doing it on your own already. I also appreciate how the book meets you where you are. Jeff is a good writer that keeps the reader interested and hooked. Once my husband finishes reading i am so excited to discuss what we want to start with implementing in our family! I really truly think this is a great read and am so excited for it to reach the hands of many and create generational changes and stronger families.