Libby is now an autobuy author. I really loved this story, the emotional impact. This book was just so good. Thank you for letting me read and review this book.

3.5 stars

Thank you Berkley for a gifted copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

I really love Libby Hubscher's writing and I'm a sucker for books featuring advice columns. However, I didn't love the topic in this one. I think the infidelity and rebound relationships just don't work for me.

If You Ask Me shines a light on a woman going through a major, life-altering transition. It's a shift that seems 100% terrible at its inception (the end of a 12 year marriage when Violet walks in on her husband and another woman), but ultimately leads to a lot of growth and even happiness. Violet's rage and letting go of her perfect, poised image was a freaking delight. She sets her cheating husband's valuables on fire in the street, rear ends her sanctimonious mother-in-law, and writes some biting responses in her advice column. She also makes some mistakes on her forced journey of self-discovery, ones that teach some valuable life lessons.

The book deals with some heavy topics from infidelity (of course) to infertility and miscarriage, loss of a sibling (in the past), panic attacks (on the page), sexual assault, and brief mentions of racism and homophobia. A big theme that I don't know how to sum up in one word is the pressure to have a picture perfect life, to seem happy, to look put together and rely on no one. These aspects of the book were thoughtfully addressed and had a satisfying arc as Violet comes to terms with toxic aspects of her life (very much so including her erstwhile husband) and looks to the future.

This is a romance novel, and there is an expected degree of attention given to that part of the story (fyi it's fade-to-black for those who shake their fists at such a tease). Dez is a kind and supportive love interest, a welcome change from Violet's past. This part of the story was perfectly fine but lacked the emotional oomph of the other story elements, in my opinion. It's a whirlwind romance, something that makes Violet uneasy at times because it's so unexpected, and largely uncomplicated despite the surrounding fallout of Violet's life. I didn't find anything problematic or upsetting (whew), but I didn't end up terribly attached to the love story.

This is a reflective piece of fiction depicting important challenges while offering a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a worthwhile read. Thanks to Berkley for my copy to read and review!

Unfortunately, I began this book really loving it, but, obviously, my feelings changed. I originally found the main character and her struggles appealing; I was heartbroken for her and I loved the budding romance between her and Dev, but ultimately, I was left dissatisfied by a story that was far too cyclical in its conflicts and a romance that was far too underdeveloped. For the first third, I didn't mind Violet's blunders—found them endearing, even—but after awhile, it seemed that all the plot hinged on was Violet making mistake after mistake after mistake while Dev pined for...honestly no reason at all aside from insta-love. I just didn't really understand what they saw in each other and I wanted so much more from his characterization; his backstory is brushed over and hinted at in parts, but never developed nearly as much as hers and that made him feel more like a caricature than a real person.

I think this book really just suffered from a lack of direction. We see Violet really struggling with her life, dealing with past trauma (that was also underdeveloped), her failing marriage and cheating husband, infertility, and her social life, and while the messy decisions she makes are sympathetic and understandable, after awhile, it was tiring reading about a character who constantly fell into this cycle of errors (although I have a bone to pick with the way the novel handled her <spoiler>writing the column about Shelby that accidentally got posted...I didn't think she did anything wrong by writing something she never thought would get published—writing is cathartic!—it was just an accident and blown way out of proportion</spoiler>. But anyway, I just wanted to read about something else after awhile.

I think I could have enjoyed this book a lot more if Dev had been a more developed character, but ultimately, I didn't really care for mr. manic pixie dream boy and the story's treatment of him left a lot to be desired.

I do realize that part of my problem with this book stems from that it leans more toward "women's fiction" (although I hate the name of the genre) rather than romance, given that it focuses more on Violet's development as a ~30 year old person and sidelined the romance. I went into this expecting the romance to take a bigger position in the novel and while I can't blame it for that, I do think I would have enjoyed this more if it read as a traditional romance.

I do have to say, however, that one of the things I really enjoyed about this book was the focus on therapy at the end. I think that was a very appropriate turn for the book to take and higlighted the personal development that is needed, especially when facing trauma.

TW: infidelity, adultery, infertility, divorce

Made it halfway and just wasn’t compelled to continue. I may come back and revisit later to see if it was just my mood.

Don’t let the adorable and bright cover fool you. If You Ask Me is an emotional and deeply hopeful story about growth, acceptance, and some of the tough shit that life throws at us, but it is wrapped up in a really sweet romance!

After Violet was burned by her cheating husband, her life seems to go awry. She was very flawed and made some questionable decisions, but no one is perfect and her transformation was a big part of the story. Although the romance between Violet and Dez felt genuine, it was a little too much insta-love for me and everything seemed to move really fast. I do prefer dual POV’s in romances and I really wanted to hear from Dez also, but because the story leans more toward women’s fiction I can see why it stayed with Violet’s POVs. Overall, it was enjoyable despite being a little underwhelming.

Read if you like:
-Women’s Fiction with a Southern Twist
-Sexy and sweet firefighters
-Advice Columns
-Denouncing Societal Expectations
-Raleigh, NC

Thank you so much to Berkley Romance and Netgalley for the gifted copy!

I wish I had liked this book more, but it was major insta-love (gag) and the cheating was in your face descriptive and dragged on a bit in the book through the main character. Not an enjoyable read for me but I will still read the author's future books!

I am finding that I am a sucker for books that have advice columns, and it turns out I’m an even bigger sucker for an advice column gone rogue!
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Violet is the most popular advice writer in North Carolina. When she comes home early with great news about possible syndication she finds her husband in bed with their neighbor. She goes a bit off the rails. She uses the column to air her dirty laundry, she takes her husband’s actual laundry and sets fire to it and maybe accidentally on purpose runs into her mother in laws car. However, her mini melt down brought handsome fire fighter Dez in her life.
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Dez is a jack of all trades. He is a firefighter, yoga instructor, reads Glennon Doyle and most importantly is there for Violet, at her best but more importantly at her worst.
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This was a fun rom com, but with serious depth. This book tells us that sometimes you need to fall apart to put yourself back together.
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This one is our today! Thank you @berkleyromance for an advanced copy!
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From the first paragraph, I knew this book would be a good one. I immersed myself into the book from the first chapter and I cannot say enough good things about this book! Honestly amazing! The writing is incredible and the plot is just one to die for. I am absolutely obsessed with this book. My favorite part would have to be the character development throughout the book. Character development is something I look forward to and this book did not disappoint.

After catching her husband cheating on her, advice-columnist Violet, takes his favorite possessions to the cul-de-sac and has an impromptu bonfire. Unfortunately this causes her nosy neighbor to call the fire department, but things might take a turn for the better once Violet sees handsome Dez, one of the firefighters responding to the call!!

This one was cute! 😍 I really felt for Violet and loved her column Dear Sweetie. I really appreciated how Violet grows as a person through this one. And Dez 😍😍😍 Can we say new book boyfriend?! He’s hot, single, and a firefighter?! Sign me up! His compassion for Violet was just top notch and I loved them together! Such a great read! 4.25 stars!

What’s the last book you’ve read that you loved so much that you wish you could experience it again for the first time? Well that’s “If You Ask Me” is for me. I wasn’t expecting such an emotional punch with this novel but wow! It delivered! Violet is messy, honest and so damn accident prone. But you find yourself cheering her on because dang it, she deserves the same support she gives others in her online “Dear Sweetie” column.

Love interest Dez should be awarded the sweetest boyfriend award. He seems to be at the right place at the right time in Violet’s life, which may not work for some readers, but I think Dez is just what she needs. The local fire fighter helps Violet see a side of herself that she’s been hiding under the weight of what others think she should be. Oh and his constant coffee and croissant deliveries only upped his appeal!

From start to finish, I found myself more and more attached to Violet’s character. Shout out to Libby Hubscher for writing characters who respect each other and the boundaries set. I love when growth and understanding trumps steam and romance.

THIS IS SO CUTE! I understood Violet so much and I really felt all the pain she went through. A great story about heartbreak and coming out on top. Funny with some serious issues that really tug at the heart strings. Definitely recommend.

This was a sweet romance with really lovable characters. When Violet finds her husband cheating, she realizes quickly her perfect marriage wasn't what she thought. What follows is a lot of mistakes, self discovery, arson, and a cute firefighter.

2.5⭐️
Thank you so to Berkley Romance and Netgalley for providing an e-arc of this. All thoughts and opinions are still my own.

I was really looking forward to this adult rom-com, however it didn't quite live up to it's adorable premise for me. I felt like this book tired to do too much and could never settle on a tone or focus. So it just felt disjointed.

This book opens up with our heroine receiving some exciting news about her column. But when she gets up and discovers her husband cheating, her life changes drastically.

I really liked the column positions of this book. I liked getting those glimpses of her writing and advice and I thought it added a lot to the story to see those on page. I also appreciated the discussion of infertility and miscarriage. It's something that isn't talked about openly often enough so I liked that it was explored in here.

But there were just too many things that didn't work. For one, the romance itself was drastically underdeveloped. It's closed door (which is already not my favorite) but I couldn't ever place why these two liked each other. I never felt their chemistry. The hero is also obnoxiously perfect. And when his messy apartment is revealed to give him a "flaw" I literally rolled my eyes....

But my biggest complaint, and the reason I gave this such a low rating, was the way that the heroine was given blame for this totally outside her control. And then the way it was rationalized. I'm going to get a little spoilery here, so read at your own risk.

In an act of trying to process her feeling and emotions, the heroine writes a letter from the woman her husband is having an affair with and an angry response. She then leaves the computer open and a supposed friend breaks into her house and uploads the letter to the internet. Even when it's revealed that heroine wasn't the one to do this, everyone (including her) is like well you shouldn't have written in anyways so it's still partially your fault. I'm sorry but what?! That was her private writing that someone blatantly stole. Let's not victim blame here....

So overall this was a big 'ol miss for me. But despite this not working for me, I could see a lot of people loving this. The author's writing is great and the characters are super likable. I just unfortunately didn't connect to this story.

Viola has a great husband and a career that is about to take off. She's an advice columnist and she just got great news and is excited to tell him then discovers her husband with another woman. Ugh a very younger fitter woman.

This starts her on a string on unfortunate events that led to a whole different better trajectory though at the time she couldn't see it.

The fire she started in her front yard of all the things of her cheating husbands that were more important than her. Well that got a very kind, handsome firefighter on her radar. Well got her on his radar cause he started to come around to check on her.

Her writing may have gone a little vindictive and sideways for a bit but hindsight is 20/20 and as long as you can see where you have gone wrong and grow from it and move on you are healthier. Holding everything inside can lead to much bigger issues.

I appreciated the mental health rep cause we need to destigmatize the heck out of necessary care. People are afraid to seek treatment based off of others opinions to the detriment of their own health. It's like if I had a serious illness and based off my colleagues opinion I just let myself get worse without care. Everything is about seeking care, management and adjusting. 

I loved the slow romance between Viola and Dez. She really didn't think she deserved love cause her ex really did a number on her. But we all deserve love. I can't say it enough. 


Tw:
There was a point when Viola's struggles were so sad that I just felt so much pain for her. Infertility struggles were my biggest fear my whole life and I hadn't tried until I was 30 which honestly I never had a scare and I was careful but you'd think so I assumed maybe it would be hard for me. But for her to be so brow beaten and berated for not having children when she has had so much loss. I'm a huge advocate for sharing your miscarriages, infertility and fertility journeys. Everyone's experiences looks different and this also removes the "when are you starting a family?" Because they know you have tried or you have lost. They can be sensitive or share their loss.

Whoever said that you had to suffer a miscarriage loss in silence is the devil. Whether or not the pregnancy was viable there is grief there. And hope of a family, of this indescribable love to have it pulled from you over and over again and told to not speak of it by society should not be happening.

‼️I'm always here if anyone needs to talk 

Also, your worth in a relationship has nothing to do with if your reproductive system works. You are worthy of love! Period! The fact you find someone then release cause you assume they would want a family you can't give them- TALK

it's hard but I've found just saying everything out loud feels better and usually the other person helps to solve the riddle. You are a team afterall.

Ok this fertility, babies and the way we treat women is a huge trigger for me. So take care when reading. I enjoyed this book but I still wanted to hurt all the people that were mean to her cause I'm a mama bear. Even though I would probably just sit there and glare at them.  

Also, families come in all shapes and sizes. Not all are biological and there is no normal despite what the media says. Love is love when it comes to families as well. We all need that connection and tie to the earth.  


Thank you berkleyromance and netgalley for the e-ARC for my honest and voluntary review.

Knowing Libby, I knew I would have intense feelings going into this one. I really appreciated the trigger warnings at the beginning. They gave me a little extra time to prepare myself.

I love how real this felt to me. The raw emotion and experiences , the friendships… everything. Life is messy and I love that Libby didn’t shy away from portraying that.

Thank you Netgalley for this eARC!

I fell in love with the author's debut novel, Meet Me in Paradise, so was eager to read this one. The books are not connected and the characters and storylines are very different. That said, the books share a vulnerability and introspection that I find both relatable and inspiring.

Violet writes an anonymous self-help column. She works hard to do the right thing and meet people's needs- both her readers and the her family/friends' needs. She is constantly monitoring herself and her actions. And then she finds out her husband has been cheating and her filters disintegrate. As a writer, her journey is reflected in the honest answers she pens in her advice columns.

I believe we are constantly growing and evolving as people and I loved going on this journey with Violet. This book is as much about her getting comfortable in her own skin as it is about how she connects and interacts with others (including a potential new romance). I really enjoyed it.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

Violet is a popular but anonymous advice columnist for a NC newspaper, until her husband of 12 years leaves her and it ends up in her column. She meets a local firefighter when she lights her ex-husband's prized belongings on fire. I guess ultimately this is a romance but it is also about opening up to other people in general, and what to do instead of seeking revenge.

I learned that firefighter love interests don't work for me, for personal history reasons.

Thank you, Berkley for the ARC. I am putting the book aside for now. With the cover and the description I thought this book was a light and fun rom com but reviews about it being more emotional women’s fiction has scared me off for now. I will pick it up again at a later time when I’m more emotionally open.

I don’t know what drew me to this book first, the hot fireman or the protagonist having a massive public meltdown! It’s like my dream some times to just have a complete meltdown where I give zero f*cks and just go off and still be able to keep my job and relationship but yet I have something to laugh about later. Am I right people? Basically I wish my life was a movie or a story some times where I could get away with that. Like go full on Waiting to Exhale and burn my ex’s stuff and still find love—that’s exactly what this book promises—literally!

I was instantly drawn to this one for that very reason. I felt like I could live vicariously through Violet’s life and get a few laughs. I had this one on my radar very early on. I couldn’t wait to check it out and read a fun little romantic comedy. This one sounded like a fun little rom com and that it would be just what I needed going into the early spring.

The cover promises such a cute little story and that alone made it seem like it was going to be a great romantic comedy with a neat little HEA in the works. What I was not prepared for was how much this book would get me in the feels! I wasn’t prepared for the more serious content in this one. Sure it had it’s romantic parts and it’s own little HEA but there was a lot of emotion in this one too. So if you are looking for romantic fluff this one isn’t that, it has more substance to it than I originally anticipated.

Summary

When an advice columnist’s picture-perfect life implodes, she opts to go rogue in this hilarious, heartwarming romance from the author of Meet Me in Paradise.

Violet Covington pens Dear Sweetie, the most popular advice column in the state of North Carolina. She has an answer for how to politely handle any difficult situation…until she discovers her husband, Sam, has been cheating on her. Furious and out of sensible solutions, Violet leaves her filter at the door and turns to her column to air her own frustrations. The new, brutally honest Dear Sweetie goes viral, sending more shock waves through Violet’s life. When she burns Sam’s belongings in a front-yard, late-night bonfire, a smoking-hot firefighter named Dez shows up to douse the flames, and an unexpected fling quickly shows potential to become something longer lasting.

A lot of people want to see the old polished Violet return—including her boss, who finds her unpredictability hard to manage, and Sam, who’s begging for another chance. But Dez appreciates Violet just the way she is—in fact, he can’t get enough of her. The right answers don’t come easily when Violet finds herself at her own personal crossroads. But maybe, by getting real, Violet can write her own happy ending. (summary from Goodreads)

Review

This one was a surprising read for me. went into it thinking I would be getting one thing, but then ended up getting something else. It was ok, but not what I was expecting to read. Ok yes, in the summary it was clear that Violet’s marriage was in shambles with her husband cheating on her and yes I can fully understand why she burned her husband’s things etc. But there was something more intense about this book that the summary hinted at. This book had a lot to unpack emotionally and honestly more than I was ready for. This one covered a range of topics, divorce, miscarriages, cheating, mental health, addiction. I was ready for the divorce and cheating but not the other things. I mean in general, it’s great that these topics are making their way into mainstream literature but at the same time it felt unexpected for me as this one sounded more like a rom-com to me based on the cover and summary.

There were times that I struggled with how Violet responded to some of the conflicts within the story. I don’t know but I just never connected with her in the way that I had hoped or anticipated to. Like at first things started out fun and light and then quickly turned much more emotional and I didn’t feel like I was really connected to Violet enough for it to happen as quick as it did. At times this was a fun story and Violet a fun character but overall I felt a little overwhelmed at the emotional content and Violet’s character in general. I wanted to love her but I just didn’t. I appreciated that the author added a warning label about triggers at the beginning of this book but ultimately I still felt overwhelmed by the emotions in this one.

What I did love though was Dez the love interest. I mean, I am a little partial since my own husband’s nickname is Dez, I thought he was a great love interest and I just instantly wanted to know more about him. I loved that he saw through Violet’s issues and still wanted to love her and support her. Dez is also no stranger to grief and I think that made him and Violet a great pair. He was clearly there for all the messy and was happy to be there for her and through it all. For me Dez saved the story earning a 3 star review from me. Maybe if I was in a better frame of mind I would have liked this one better but in the end it came in as just ok for me which made me so sad because I really had high hopes for this one and was looking forward to it for so long but it just didn’t meet my expectations.

Book Info and Rating

Format: 368 pages, paperback

Publication: March 8th 2022 by Berkley Books

ISBN: 9780593199442

Free review copy provided by publisher, Berkley, in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own and in no way influenced.

Rating: 3 stars

Genre: romance, contempo lit, chick lit